"Hey, Mallory," Nosedive grinned and tried to get her attention again. "What do you call a pig that knows karate?"
The fuming redhead punched open the door to the rec room in hopes that someone else would be there to distract him. If nobody else was, maybe she could foist his attention off to the television or a video game.
"A pork chop!"
Just ignore him, she silently ordered. Ignore him and he'll go away.
"How do you shoot a killer bee?"
He just wouldn't stop! Luck was not on her side. Nobody else was in the room. Struggling to maintain control of her temper, she sat down and tried desperately to find some cartoons.
"Use a bee bee gun. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?"
Where did he get these jokes? They were terrible! She could understand a four year old telling them, but they really weren't his usual style.
"Nosedive, I really don't care," she snapped, anger sharpening her words.
"Frostbite! What month do soldiers hate the most?"
"You'll be hating your stomach the most if you don't cut it out." She threw the remote at him and got up to leave.
"March!" He caught the controller and dropped it to the couch as he followed her. "Which weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of ice?"
"Aagh!" Throwing up her hands, she took off for the kitchen. Dinner should be soon and it was Wildwing's night to cook. He had to be in there.
The obnoxious teenager refused to be denied. "Neither! They both weigh a ton. What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup?"
Wildwing stood at the counter, cutting up vegetables. A massive pile of shredded carrots lay next to him. Two large cans of coconut milk and a box of raisins sat next to an empty pot on the stove. "Firecrackers," he answered, not turning around.
"No fair, Wing," he whined. "You already know that one."
Mallory took a seat at the table, grateful for the reprieve. Maybe he'd start annoying his brother instead of her. She could just sit here and wait until he was good and focused on Wildwing, then slip out quietly and be free.
"What you making?" Nosedive leaned backwards on the counter, elbows supporting his weight while he looked over his shoulder at the pile of carrots.
"Halva and Ashe Mast."
Nosedive pretended to gag. "Seriously? Way too bitter, bro."
Mallory smirked quietly to herself, satisfied that she had escaped. Actually, Ashe Mast sounded great. It'd been a while since she'd had the chickpea, rice, and yogurt soup. Some people might not like the mixture of sour and bitter, but she loved the balance of the savory dill and garlic to the tangy yogurt and chickpeas. Wildwing was a pretty good cook too, so she knew dinner was going to be excellent.
"You can make something else if you want to take over. Otherwise, shut up." A mischievous smile softened the harsh words.
Mallory envied Wildwing's ability to tell Nosedive to shut up and actually be listened to. Any time she tried, it was seen as an invitation to be even more annoying.
Shrugging, Nosedive snagged a handful of raisins and pushed away from the counter. Blue eyes sparkling, he once more turned his attention to Mallory. "Why was Cinderella a bad hockey player?"
"Ugh." She let her head hit the table. "Stop. Please." She lightly pounded her forehead on the metallic surface a few more times for emphasis. The self inflicted pain was far preferable to his juvenile humor.
"Because she had a pumpkin for a coach. What do hockey players and magicians have in common?"
"Dive," Wildwing broke in, slightly amused. "What are you doing?"
"Trying to see if Mallory has a sense of humor. She hasn't laughed once!"
"Did you try the mushroom in the bar joke?"
Mallory's head shot up at that and she stared at her team captain in shock and horror. He was actually encouraging this?
"Yeah. She's obviously not a fan of fungi." Smirking, he tried again. "What did the painter say to the wall?"
"One more wise crack and I'll plaster you," she growled. Enough was enough. If Wildwing wasn't going to put a stop to it, she was.
"Hey! You know that one?" He grinned stupidly at her. "Finally. I thought you'd never heard a joke in your life. Want another one?"
"If you don't leave me alone, I swear you won't be able to talk for a week!" Standing tall, she held up a fist for emphasis. When he remained quiet, she turned her back and tried to leave.
"Hey," Wildwing spoke up again. "Why don't you help with dessert?"
Mallory glanced over her shoulder to make sure she wasn't the one he wanted. Sighing in relief, she smiled and returned to the rec room.
Finally, some peace and quiet. Nosedive had been following her for the past ten minutes, throwing out one joke after another. He was an unending supply of horrible wisecracks. She doubted even the Chameleon could go that long without repeating himself. Flipping through the channels, she tried to find something good to watch.
What do hockey players and magicians have in common? Damn him. Nosedive hadn't given her the punchline to that one. She sure as hell wasn't going to ask. Maybe Duke knew…