A/N: Let's get the usual out of the way. I don't own Twilight or any thing related to it or the song that Edward sings blah blah blah. Ok on to more serious things. First of all if you have not heard Avril Lavigne's Goodbye. I suggest you do so. Better yet listen to it as you read this story. Sometimes when something is bouncing around in your head you need to listen to it. That's what happened with this. I was listening to this song and Edward came to me and told me to tell this story,it was written in less than an hour on my lunch break at work As some of you may know my mother passed away a year ago December 29th. She was my muse, my inspiration, my strength and my strongest supporter. When I wrote this I let some of my emotions escape that I have been hiding inside since her death. So without further adeiu and hope you have some tissues handy, Let's get down to business. Written in less than an hour here is
Goodbye My Love
Here I sat in a daze hiding in the bathroom. Today I'm burying my best friend, my soul mate, my husband of the last five years. This has been so hard for all of us. He was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor two years after we were married and even though the doctors only gave him months to live he battled it out for the last thee years. It hurt so bad to watch it eat him alive. He asked us to bury him on the back corner of his families property, by the lake that he loved to sit out and strummed on his guitar and just watch the sunset. When he asked Carlisle decided it was the perfect place as well.
"Bella, Dear, its time to start." Esme said as she touched my shoulder letting me know she was there. I wiped my eyes and fixed my makeup the best I could and followed her into the chapel. I dreaded facing our family and friends. I mean if one more person hugged me and said it would be ok, I'm going to scream and if they ask me if I need anything I'm going to shout YEAH MY HUSBAND as I choke the living shit out of them.
"I'm ready, I think." I sighed a little as Esme squeezed my shoulder.
'I would like to thank everyone for coming to celebrate my son's life and mourn the passing of his spirit from this life unto the next. He was my youngest by about a minute and a half but he always had a smile and was never a fussy child. He had to be the most unselfish person I had the pleasure to know. He will be missed dearly. Alice would now like to say a few words." Carlisle opened up the memorial service with. I glanced around and noticed lots of people from school, lots of fellow teachers and more flowers than I would ever know what to do with. Alice squeezed my hand as she stood and made her way to the podium by Edward's casket and placing a kiss on it with her hand.
"Growing up, I despised Edward's cheerful dispostion and good natured jokes but now I'll miss that more than anything. I just don't understand why it was him and not me? I mean I was the rude and hateful one. He was so kind and good and everything you only wish you could be. But before he took his last breath I promised him two things, first, I would be more like him and to learn to look at the bright side of things. Two, I would play this for everyone here." she said as she held up a cd. "So here goes."
She picked up a small CD player and sat it on the podium in front of the mic and hit play. Out boomed Edward's voice
"Mom, Dad Emmett and Alice, if you're hearing this I've went on to be with Pepay and memaw. Don't fret. I'll be ok. They will make sure i'm taken well care of.
Bella, beautiful Bella. Where to start? When I first saw you at school when we first moved here, you were five and so spunky and clumsy. I looked up at my mom and said i'll marry her someday. I did. I gave my heart and soul to you that day. I was so glad I was your first kiss, your first love, your first real friend. I am so grateful you chose to be my friend. You taught me to so much, because of you I was a better person. Even though it seems like such a short time we were able to fit a lifetime into our short twenty years we had together. My only regret... not being able to give you the children we talked about, not being able to walk them down the aisle like chief Swan did for you. I love you Bella Cullen. You were my sunshine, the center of my universe."
I was crying so hard as Esme pulled me into a tight hug. "Oh God, I can't believe he's gone." I sobbed into her chest.
"Shhhhh. It'll be ok. We'll get through this together." She said through her own tears as Carlisle wrapped his arms around us both.
"There's more." Alice said through her own tears.
Edward's voice again came through the speakers.
"Goodbye, Goodbye Goodbye my love. I can't hide, can't hide what has come. I have to go, I have to go, I have to go and leave you alone but always know, always know always know I love you so, I love you so, I love you so ooh
Goodbye brown eyes, Goodbye for now Goodbye sunshine Take care of yourself I have to go, I have to go, I have to go and leave you alone But always know, always know, always know I love you so, I love you so, I love you so oooh ooh
La lullaby, distract me with your rhymes, La lullaby, la lullaby help me sleep tonight la lullaby la lullaby la lullaby
I have to go, I have to go I have to go and leave you alone but always know, always know, always know I love you so I love you so I love you so oooh
Goodbye brown eyes goodbye my love
Bella, Avril said it best when she wrote this song. I heard this on a cd that Alice brought to the hospital with her one night and if fit so well with what I needed to say to you. I love you my brown eyes, my sunshine.
Alice, Emmett, you guys were the best I really couldn't ask for a better brother and sister.
Jasper, you were my brother from another mother. I love you man and I couldn't ask for a better person to watch over and care for my sister.
Rose, you were everything I wasn't but you had to be. You were dealt a shitty deck of cards but welcome to the family, you balanced Emmett out and fit in with us perfectly. You were special to me. Watch out for Bella for me. We both know that this will be hard for her. Don't let her forget to live, Don't let her forget to live for me. Don't let her hide away.
Everyone just remember live every day like it is your last, because you'll never know when you'll take that last breath. I love you all. I'll be watching over you all and can't wait to see you on the other side."
When Alice turned off the player there wasn't a dry eye in the room. Emmett, Jasper, Jake, Paul, Demetri, Alec, James and Seth stood and waited by the casket as everyone filed past and said our final good byes. They closed up the casket and carried him out to the hurst. As they slid him into the back and closed the hatch I fell to my knees and started to scream his name. Carlisle and Dad pulled me up and sat me in the back of Carlisle's car beside Alice and Esme slid in beside me. I buried my head into her neck and just cried and screamed. Alice laid her head on my back and cried with me.
The sun was shining when we made it to the spot beside the lake he loved so much. I was still crying as they lowered him into the ground and covered him with dirt. More people came and hugged me as they headed up towards the house.
"Bella, honey, we're going in the house to feed our guests." Esme said as she sat down beside me.
"I'm going to stay here for a little bit longer ok?" I whispered, my throat raw, my voice hoarse with emotion.
"OK dear." She replied as she squeezed my shoulder and Carlisle took her hand and walked with her to the house. I was finally alone with my husband.
I stretched out on the ground beside him. "Edward, it hurts so much here without you. I keep waiting for you to walk into the room when i'm there or sit down beside me here by the tree. What am I going to do without you?"
I laid there and cried some more until I was cried out. I have no idea how long I had been out there or when I fell asleep when I was shaken awake.
"Bella, sweetheart, you're going to catch cold out here. Wake up."
I opened my eyes to find Jasper standing above me. He held out his hand to help me up. I dusted myself off and noticed it was dark out.
"What time is it Jasper?" I asked
"A little after nine." he replied, He noticed when I started to panic, "Don't worry darling, everyone is gone. Let's get you inside." he said as he put his hand on the small of my back and led me inside.
"Bella, are you ok?" Alice asked as we made it inside.
"Yeah, I just needed some time alone with him. I'm going to crash ok?"
"Hey Bella."
"Yeah, Rose?"
"We will get through this, but won't forget Edward, or his memory."
"Thanks Rose." I said weakly.
I headed up the stairs to the room I shared with Edward. I laid in bed just staring at the ceiling replaying our memories in my head when the best idea ever hit me. I jumped up and ran down the stairs.
"Esme, Carlisle. Everyone, I know what we're going to do." I said with a little excitement. They all just stared at me like I lost my mind. "We're going to open a music camp and run it in Edward's memory. We had talked about it before he got sick. It will be for terminally ill children."
Two years later
"Ms. Cullen, Ms Cullen. I did it I did it." cheered Betsy as she wrapped her chubby little fingers around the neck of the guitar.
"That's great sweetie." I said as I smiled at her.
As I looked around I couldn't believe that in the two short years since Edward left us we opened Edward's Sunshine and it hadn't been easy but here we were. It was on another distant part of Carlisle and Esme's property and we housed fifty kids our first year and here in our second year we nearly doubled that . We chose our kids based on referrals from local childrens hospitals. We were entirely non-profit and the whole family volunteered. I stared up at Edward's picture up on the wall of the Mess hall and smiled. I could almost feel him here beside me smiling at me.
"I won't forget you I promise. I love you." I whispered as I went back to helping Jasper with Betsy and the other kids with learning to hold their guitars.
A/N: Like I said tissues are needed right? I felt I needed to do this. I want to think everyone that has been on these crazy rides with me I hope you continue to ride this train with me. I would love to think my twifey Sharon Warner. She pushes me to write without her I don't think I would get much done. Go check out her work you can find her on this site under shazwarner she's an awesome author. Well hope you enjoyed this. Lots of twilove to you all.