A/N: I wrote this while I was literally half high at my dad's cabin, bored out of my mind, and it is complete and utter crack. Maybe it will become a series, but who knows. This is an au where Sam and Dean are not brother and have a kid names Jack.
Sam walked into the house with his senses tingling. Something was wrong. Very wrong.
"Dean?" he called. "Jack?"
"Yeah, Sam?" Dean poked his head out of the kitchen. He looked out of breath.
Sam raised a brow. "Where's Jack?"
"Right here, Dad!" Jack stepped up next to Dean with a bright smile spread across his face.
"Why was it so quiet when I came in?" Sam asked, dropping a kiss on Dean's lips as he passed him on his way into the kitchen.
Sam missed the frustrated glare Dean sent their son, busy hunting through the fridge for something to eat.
"Sam, please tell your son that he needs a haircut. And don't eat yet; we're meeting Bobby, Ellen, and Jo for dinner."
Sam raised his head to look at Dean, then at Jack's shaggy ginger hair. "What do you mean he needs a haircut? It is a perfectly fine length for a fifteen year old boy."
Dean glared at Sam. "Sam, he needs a haircut. It is way too long."
Sam brought a hand up to his own shoulder-length brown hair. "My hair is longer than his," he protested.
Dean shot a glance at Sam's hair, distaste marring his features. "Which reminds me- when you take Jack to get his haircut, you need to get one too."
"What?" Sam said. "When was this decided?"
"Yesterday. When I made the appointment."
"Without even asking me first?" Sam arched an eyebrow, staring at his husband. "It's my hair, though!"
"And I'm the one that has to deal with it in the shower!"
There was a long silence, during which the parents glared at each other, and the poor child was left to wonder who would win this new war in the Winchester household.
Then, Dean smirked, and with a final glance at Sam, left the kitchen to find his wallet. "Fine, Sam," he said. " We have to go meet Bobby; I hope you're okay with sleeping on the couch until you cut your hair."
Jack followed Dean out to the car, leaving Sam in the kitchen, bewildered, wondering if he would ever sleep in the same bed as his husband again.
/
A few years later, Sam is still sleeping on the couch, his stubborn streak showing every day. Jack had given up long ago, cutting his hair to match Dean's.
Sam broke when his hair got stuck in the car door. Dean smiled the entire time Sam sat in the chair, chatting away to the hairdresser as she cut away year's worth of hair.
That was the first night in three years that Sam slept in the same bed as Dean once again.