Tok'ra Love

Author: Shlane

Disclamer: If I owned Stargate I wouldn't be as worried about been a student. in case any lawyers didn't understant that it means I don't own Stargate (much as I might wish to). I doown this story though and if you want to archive it feel free but let me know first so I can come and visit.

Summary: The events of the Tok'ra 1&2 from the Tok'ra's POV and especially Garshaw's.

Rating: PG/K+ (Think I've got the new rating system right)

Pairings: Garshaw/Selmak

AN: Could been seen as a prequal to Why the Tau'ri like doors. Italics is the symbiote and host talking to each other

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Garshaw somehow managed to contain the tears that threatened to fall as she walked from Selmak's quarters; she could not and would not cry in front of the other Tok'ra. She was the Grand Council, it was her job to lead the rebellion and she couldn't show weakness, not even in the face of this. To show weakness would upset and disturb her fellow Tok'ra and she wouldn't do that, Selmak wouldn't want her to.

"It's alright to cry when you're about to lose someone close to you" Yosuuf whispered to her symbiote.

"Not in front of the others." Garshaw insisted as she made her way quickly to her quarters. Once alone she broke down and didn't try to conceal her tears.

"I will miss them also." Yosuuf said, "Selmak and Saroosh have been my friends as well."

"I know that it's just that Selmak and I-" Garshaw broke off unable to finish.

"I am sorry Garshaw, but the idea of a female lover just makes me too uncomfortable. I am sorry for coming between you and your mate."

"Do not blame yourself Yosuuf. When we take the vow we know that our hosts must come before our mate. And besides Saroosh was just as uncomfortable"

"Master Garshaw!" Cordesh's shout brought Garshaw and Yosuuf out of their shared thoughts. Quickly Garshaw wiped her eyes before turning towards the opening.

Standing there were Cordesh and Martouf, they both bowed their heads to her in respect, "Forgive the intrusion but the Chaapa'ai had been activated, four people emerged. All unknown to us." Cordesh reported.

"Put the base on alert, take a security detail and meet them at the rings. I'll be in the meeting room." Garshaw ordered.

"Is it too much to ask, for a little peace so I can mourn the passing of my mate?" Garshaw asked her host rhetorically as they walked towards the meeting room. Yosuuf knew better than to answer, she pitted the next person that annoyed Garshaw, stress and grief were not a good combination.

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Garshaw was sitting to one side of the room, away from the pools of water, between two guards. She was not happy about their presence when all she wanted to do was be left alone with her grief but she herself had put the base on alert and the rules stated that when the base was on alert she must had a guard.

The four strangers, two unblended humans, a Jaffa, and a woman who had once been blended, were brought to her and introduced.

Yosuuf felt Garshaw's anger at been called a Goa'uld and tried to calm her, with limited successes. She also shared Garshaw's surprise and humour at the young man's reaction to the name of the Tok'ra.

Garshaw spared a look for Martouf/Lantash when the woman, Samantha Carter, told them of Jolinar's fate. She knew that Martouf still held onto a tiny hope that she was alive even though Lantash had given up hope weeks ago, when they had found the village destroyed by death gliders and what was left Rosha's cremated body in nearby forest.

Garshaw knew how they must be feeling, she was about to loose her mate and it was all she could do to keep going. Still she forced herself to keep listening with horror as Samantha Carter told them that she had been an unwilling host. Cordesh seemed to be under the impression that the Tau'ri had killed Jolinar but both Garshaw and Yosuuf doubted it seen as how the host was still alive. It took very advanced technology to kill a symbiote without killing the host and they both doubted that the Tau'ri had advanced that far in a few thousand years.

One thing that was serious beginning to annoy Garshaw was that the older man with grey hair,

"O'Neill." Her host reminded her

O'Neill seemed to have serious problems telling Goa'uld from Tok'ra, a fact that worried Garshaw greatly. Finally she snapped at him, "We are NOT Goa'uld."

"You know it probably didn't help that your eyes flashed you know."

"I can't help that I'm really angry and… hold on a minuet did he just compare us to snakes? I'll give him snakes!"

"Deep breaths Garshaw, try and explain it to them, they have never met one of us before except for Jolinar and that didn't go too well." Yosuuf told her symbiote in a soothing voice

"We have symbiotic creatures within us, yes." Garshaw told the humans. It didn't help, in fact it only seemed to make O'Neill more annoyed, the younger man intervened and tried phrase his superiors point more diplomatically. Garshaw briefly wondered why the younger man wasn't in charge.

Garshaw explained that her host and indeed all Tok'ra hosts volunteered to do so freely, but they didn't seem to believe her, though Samantha Carter seemed to listen to Martouf when he spoke.

"For Egeria's Sake, you deal with them Yosuuf, they might listen to you." Garshaw said and pushed her host to the fore. Perhaps that wasn't the kindest thing to do since Yosuuf was quite shy, but it worked and the humans believed what she said.

"Finally!" Garshaw thought as she sat back and watched, if she'd know they'd listen to her host she'd have given control to Yosuuf ten minuets ago. It did occur to her that they didn't seem to notice that out of Martouf and Lantash it was the host who was normally in control, no one had seen much of Lantash in the weeks since Rosha's body was found.

Garshaw took another look at Jolinar's final host, Samantha Carter. She, of all her team was the first to trust them, indeed despite her unwilling blending with Jolinar she had believed in them from the beginning. While Yosuuf lead them to Selmak's quarter Garshaw studied Samantha Carter and she noticed how often her gaze turned on Martouf and also how often he looked at her. Garshaw wondered just how much of Jolinar remained in the young woman.

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Thanks for reading, more coming soon. And it'll come even sooner if you send me a review (hint hint)