A/N: Quickie post-ep scene for S7E5. I mean, how can this motley crew not be the subject of a bunch of fanfic?
They all lay around the fire's dying embers, catching a little rest. Jorah had the watch. It was quiet – quiet enough that he thought everybody might be asleep, until…
"Gendry, is it." The low rasp of the Hound.
"Yes. That's me."
"I heard all about you."
The boy sat up. "All about me?"
"Mm. From the wolf girl."
"The-…?"
"The wolf girl. Arya Fucking Stark. Don't you remember her? You told her once that you wanted her to be your lady." The Hound's amusement was cold and unkind. "She was about seven at the time."
Someone else stirred – Thoros. "Let me get this straight, Clegane." His voice was thick with drink. "You're saying that the girl who broke your heart... was too young for him?"
Snorted laughter, from a couple of places.
"You'd better watch yourself, Thoros, if you don't want to end up with my-"
"That's my sister you're talking about." They had woken the King in the North – or perhaps the King just never slept. He was lying down, unmoving, facing away. But he sounded clearheaded and alert.
"Oh, for fuck's sake relax," the Hound snarled. "Thoros is a drunk talking out of his drunken ass. I didn't fuck her. I didn't let anyone else fuck her. This boy here didn't have the balls to even try to fuck her." He sighed. "And I'm sure she's dead now, so you don't need to worry about anybody fucking her at all."
At that, Snow rolled over. "Arya isn't dead," he said. "She returned to Winterfell not long ago. She's with Sansa now."
"With-?" The Hound laughed. "You're not serious."
"Do I strike you as a joker?"
"Well bugger me." He laughed again – softer. "All right. Good on her. I didn't think she got away."
Beric this time, earnest and commanding as usual. "Got away from what, Clegane? What happened?"
"The Lannisters sent-… people. After us." He shifted in the dark. "Freak of nature. Bigger than me. I tried to buy the girl time to get away, that's how-…" He moved again. Gesturing towards himself, probably. Towards his limp and his missing ear and whatever damage his clothes concealed. "But I didn't think she made it."
"Well, she did." Snow's voice was tight. "And she is my sister, so can we please not talk about her in the way that you were doing."
Tormund Giantsbane spoke up: "But I thought all you southern kings like fucking your sisters?"
Jorah cleared his throat. "If we're all awake anyway, and rested enough to start brawling with one another, we might as well get moving."
Muttered curses from all around, but they got up.
The End.
It's too nutty a roster not to fanfic… but on the other hand, it's almost too nutty to fanfic! Let me know what you think.