Disclaimer: Mass Effect is property of Bioware and Naruto is property of Masashi Kishimoto, not me.
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Omega, it seemed like the most appropriate home for him considering his previous occupation, but it definitely wasn't his favorite place in the world… or galaxy.
It was all still hard for him to properly grasp.
Kill this guy, steal this thing, and protect this person, the jobs were all exactly the same as they were before and that was really all that mattered in the end.
The food may taste different, the people may not all be human, the clothing may look a bit different, and the technology may be slightly more advanced than radios with a ten-mile max operating range. But hey, in the end there was still ramen, orange still existed, and his jobs still paid for both.
Speaking of jobs, Omega was by far the best place for him to find one. Sure he could possibly go to Tuchanka and find more than his fair share, but a nuclear wasteland wasn't the most pleasing environment to work in. Omega may not have been the best place in the worl-galaxy, but even it beat that hellhole.
Nuclear war was no joke.
"They have arrived."
Naruto knew the comment was not directed towards him. Even amongst the potent smells of alcohol, sex, sweat, blood, and the bitter tears of self-loathing that dominated the club of Afterlife he could pick out the smell of a recently sterilized crew from across the station.
But, then again, he wasn't the only one which is generally why the smell was so uncommon. Newcomers were generally either too afraid to arrive or too ill-equipped to leave outside of a body bag.
The fact that these guys were able to make the fifty-yard trip from their ship to Afterlife without having gotten mugged was a testament to their skill.
Naruto held back a snort when the Turian guard opposite to him made a show of straightening his posture, puffing his chest out pompously as he fingered the trigger of his assault rifle in anticipation.
It was pretty easy to see why Aria wasn't all too confident in the effectiveness of her bodyguards. If anyone was going to make any sort of move against Aria fucking T'Loak that she couldn't handle herself, then there was no way in hell some greenhorn Turian and his Batarian buddies would be able to protect her any more than her fancy white coat did. They would become little more than two smears on the pavement within the first few seconds of the battle.
But apparently they didn't know that, which is exactly why they didn't cower in fear just from being within his very presence.
The fact that he was here meant that Aria was actually worried about someone that she thought could kill her. Sure she didn't outwardly show it, but that was also why she was so effective. You needed four things to last as a dictator: influence, intelligence, power, and the appearance of power.
Even if you were the strongest person in the galaxy, if you looked weak people would think they could kill you. Most would fail, but all it takes is one lucky bastard to get the job done.
But, apparently Aria didn't think this guy needed luck.
Shepard, if he remembered correctly.
And he always did.
Naruto didn't get where he was today by staying out of the loop, but even if you were you would have heard about this guy at some point.
Been with the Alliance since he was a wee tyke, the first human worthy to become a Spectre, stopped the dastardly villain Saren from ruining the galaxy, saved the Citadel from imminent destruction, able to shoot the eye of a Geth from some amount of miles outside of the atmosphere…
This guy was the most hyped up thing Naruto had encountered in quite a while and that was saying something.
"That's close enough."
Speak of the devil.
The sound of guns being drawn rose above the obnoxious club music as Aria's bodyguards did their best to discourage any movement from Shepard and his two followers.
Shepard didn't seem too fazed by the act of aggression, but he stopped nonetheless. He didn't signal his two guards to stand down though.
Cerberus.
That small yellow insignia on their outfits was unmistakable. The organization was quite liberal with their money.
All of the contracts he ran for them over the years had had massive payoffs and they hadn't even been all that challenging either.
The Illusive Man certainly didn't like to risk it when it came to hiring for a mission. If he wanted to kill a rabbit he would hire an atomic bomb just because he knew there was no chance of failure.
The man was also paranoid as hell. All of the contracts he had ever received from the man had been passed along by some random civilian that had been brainwashed. Usually they were under the impression that God himself had told them to deliver the slip of paper.
It actually turned out to be quite amusing when some of them were actually atheists.
Even with his extensive network of spies, it had been hard to dig up any amount of information on the head honcho of Cerberus.
Although, they did seem to be advertising themselves more and more lately. Shepard and his two lackeys were a testament to that.
'Basic build, light weight outfit focused on augmenting shields, handling a pistol, stiff posture…' Naruto smirked. 'The textbook biotic boy scout.'
Lazily shifting his gaze to Shepard's second companion, Naruto couldn't hold back a slight nod of approval.
'A firm C cup, full lips, tight butt, provocative posture, outfit revealing more than enough curves to distract any lesser man both inside a firefight and out.' Naruto's smirk grew. 'And an exceptional biotic also versed in the ways of the glorious pistol. I approve.'
"Stand still."
Naruto rolled his eyes at the overconfident Batarian as the thug began his scan of the fully armored legend standing in front of him. Not too surprisingly the scan came to an abrupt halt when Shepard seized the thug's collar before pulling him closer.
"Try it and you'll be scanning the inside of your colon." The gruffness behind Shepard's creative threat was only enhanced by the voice filters of his N7 helmet.
'Makes sense that he would want to keep himself covered up in a place like Omega.' Naruto thought, glancing at the visor of Shepard's helmet. 'Being on a sterile ship for any amount of time before coming here is likely to weaken your immune system enough to give you twenty different diseases after taking your first breath.'
'Although the other two seem to be doing fine; probably has something to do with their biotics.'
Naruto was soon cut from his musings, however, as Aria's voice rose above the background noise of the club.
"I'd almost pay to see that." She said, seeming to hold back a laugh.
Funny, Aria T'Loak didn't laugh.
Ever.
Apparently there really was something about this Shepard character that put her on edge.
"But it's not an option. You want to talk, you get scanned."
'And that ladies and gentlemen is why she was the local dictator. Such a flawless visage of calm confidence could only be achieved with true tact.' Naruto thought, seamlessly stepping out of his cozy spot in the shadows when Shepard hesitated in releasing the Batarian.
Swiftly taking hold of Shepard's wrist before anyone was aware of his sudden appearance, Naruto gave the appendage a quick twist, prompting the esteemed hero to reflexively release the disgruntled bodyguard.
"Hey, hey, we're all friends here." Naruto said, releasing his hold on Shepard's wrist before the man could attempt to remove it himself. "There's no need to be so hostile."
Offering Shepard a toothy smile as he stepped out of range of any possible attacks short of a bullet, Naruto held back a chuckle as the man began to gently rub his wrist through his armor.
Naruto could practically feel the heat of the man's glare as he attempted to size him up through his visor, but using a little burst of something special to discourage such an action Naruto coaxed the man into standing down.
"Good boy." Naruto muttered cheekily as the Batarian resumed his scan.
It was kind of funny. All of his sources had told him of how Shepard was the ultimate hero, helping old ladies cross the street when he wasn't busy saving the world. But yet, here he was, threatening a common Batarian bodyguard with unconsented penetration.
Maybe his personality curve had something to do with the fact he was reported dead for two years. Cerberus wasn't exactly above brainwashing people and the fact that an Alliance boy scout like Shepard actually even considered wearing their clothing certainly hinted at some form of psychological manipulation.
But, then again, his change of heart could just as well be attributed to either his environment or the person he was trying to talk to.
Many a good man had completely lost their bearings within clubs. Take Lee for example, that man truly became a beast when faced with both alcohol and scantily clad women in the same room.
Also, the fact that Shepard was attempting to talk to a tested dictator may have given him the impression that playing the tough guy act may have gotten better results than blatant ass kissing.
He was of course correct in that assumption, but if that threat was all he had in his 'bad boy' arsenal, creative though it was, that laugh of masked uncertainty that Aria just gave would be the best he was going to get tonight.
Especially after he backed off like an injured puppy after getting his wrist twisted.
"They're clean." The Batarian said, returning to his post as Aria finally turned to face Shepard.
"I heard you were the one to see if I had questions." Shepard began.
'A very passive start.' Naruto thought, taking position to the left of Aria. 'Looks like Shepard lost contact with his inner tough guy.'
"Depends on the questions."
'The flawlessly vague response of a true politician, what else would you expect from Aria.'
"You run Omega?" Shepard asked.
This time, Aria laughed outright, you could practically hear the tension in her body being expelled with each condescending chuckle.
Well at least Naruto could.
That was a textbook stupid question if he had ever heard one, but then again, when you've been dead for any amount of time I guess you can be entitled to at least a couple of those. But either way, that question along with his poor reaction to being manhandled had just taken Shepard a few pegs down on Aria's threat meter.
Anyways, Naruto made a point of shamelessly staring at Aria's ass while she made quite the show of strutting up to the edge of her personal balcony overlooking the club.
"I am Omega." She announced, making some grandiose gesture with her arms that accentuated her breasts quite well.
'It's hard to beat an Asari.' Naruto thought.
Once again turning to face Shepard, Aria took a few strides forward.
"But you need more." She said, making a point of maintaining eye contact with the commander as she came to a stop just within the limits of his personal bubble.
It was a testament to his willpower that he didn't look away and he did a good job of not backing up, but the sudden stiffness in his posture told Aria all she needed to know.
She remained there for only a split second before turning away and striding across the length of her balcony.
"Everyone needs more and they all come to me. I'm the boss, CEO, queen if you're feeling dramatic."
'Her voice was actually quite nice to listen to.' Naruto thought, his eyes trained on her hips as she continued her monologue. He was pretty sure both of Shepard's companions were glaring at him, but truthfully he didn't much care.
An ass like that is not something to be ignored, especially when it's on display.
'But it looks like the show's over.' Naruto thought, the object of his gaze being consumed by the soft leather cushions of Aria's booth. 'Damn it.'
"Don't fuck with Aria."
'Ah, the classic one rule speech.' Naruto thought fondly. 'She only gives that one to people she believes can fuck with her, all the others she just killed. Unless of course they could be useful, then she would just scare them into servitude.'
"Sounds like neither of us likes being jerked around."
'Oh, so Shepard still has some bite in him.'
"And on your ship that would matter. Here, we entertain my preferences."
'And Aria shuts him down like the pro she is.' Naruto thought as Shepard moved to take a seat on the opposite side of the booth. 'Really you would expect the first human Spectre to be a bit more tactful when negotiating with important people, but then again I suppose he has Councilor Anderson to do that for him now.'
"I'm trying to track down Archangel."
That broke Naruto from his thoughts.
"You and half of Omega." Aria said. "You want him dead too?"
"I'm putting a team together. He's on my list."
'Well shit.'
Killing Archangel was going to be his very next contract after this. In fact the only reason he wasn't on that contract right now was because Aria decided to flag him down before he had left.
She had said that it would only take a few minutes and that he would get to see a very interesting person.
And, she also said she would owe him one… She had said that with a particular glint in her eye and an impressive sway of her hips.
Naruto knew he had been manipulated, but he would be damned if she didn't pay up.
"They've got him cornered, but it sounds like they're having trouble finishing him off."
Oh right, Archangel.
He had had one other contract dealing with the local vigilante. Apparently one of his teammates tried to shoot the wrong person. Naruto was told to make sure he didn't do it again.
That was one of the more difficult jobs he had taken in a while, Archangel may be ruthless when it came to dealing with mercenaries, but when it came to his own teammates the Turian was nigh fanatical in keeping them safe.
It had taken Naruto three whole days just to get a sliver of an opportunity to kill his target. It would have probably been easier to kill the whole group, but that would mean doing extra work for free.
Naruto never worked for free.
He may have done it a couple times when he was younger, but as the years go on you learn that favors are a good thing to have.
Although, you want to get the favors from people you can trust. And for Naruto, he could trust everyone.
Why? Because, he had lots of very pointy objects that no one wanted to have lodged up their ass.
But the mercenaries weren't exactly paying him with favors. All three of the major groups had pooled their resourses trying to kill Archangel and his sidekicks. And, when that didn't work, they decided to pay Naruto to do it.
They had put quite a bit of money on the table and Naruto wasn't too keen on passing it up. But even so, fighting Shepard over it was not something he was all that excited about doing. It wasn't so much the fact that Shepard may have been an above average fighter, but rather the fact that both the Alliance and Cerberus might get a bit angry with him if he had to kill Shepard a second time.
'I'll have to work fast.'
"Maybe I'll come back later."
Naruto was once again knocked from his musings as Shepard rose from his seat and began to descend the balcony stairs.
"Maybe I'll be here." Aria responded smoothly, watching Shepard and his two companions make their exit before they were out of sight.
"Told you, you had nothing to worry about." Naruto said, plopping himself down on the booth a great deal closer to Aria then Shepard had even dreamed of.
"Don't you have somewhere to be?" Aria asked, her eyes refusing to acknowledge Naruto's existence.
Naruto chuckled at that.
"Alas my queen, indeed I do." Naruto said a tone of mock sadness in his voice as he made an obvious effort to close the distance between the two. "And now with Shepard seeking out Archangel, it seems even your payment will have to be delayed."
"What a shame."
Naruto laughed once more, draping an arm over Aria's shoulder before leaning closer to her ear.
"Don't worry my queen." Naruto whispered, a smirk dominating his features when Aria twitched against the touch of his golden blond locks. "This just means you'll have something to look forward to."
"Well you better not die then." She said, her eyes only now moving to watch as Naruto rose from the booth.
"There is no need to worry my queen, this fox didn't get where he is today by dying." Naruto said, flashing Aria one last grin before disappearing in a swirl of leaves.
The bodyguards gaped after the legend of a mercenary made his famous exit, leaving a smiling Aria in his wake.
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AN: Well there's the chapter hope you liked it.
This story just sort of came to me after I was reintroduced to Mass Effect with its third installment. The game was phenomenal by the way, but really that ending was just pathetic. It's really disappointing that Bioware would pull a stunt like that with possibly the greatest trilogy they ever produced. But, their making a new ending so hopefully that will provide for a more adequate ending to a more than adequate story.
Anyways, I would really like to now how you feel about the story. Do you like how Naruto is portrayed, do you want Shepard to be more of a renegade or paragon, do you want Shepard to keep his helmet on at all times so you can relate to him more, do you want him to be more of a secondary character, etc. Reviews are both encouraged and appreciated.
Until next time…