A/N: Written while I anxiously wait for what the winter finale has in store for us.
Spoilers: For 3x09 Closure.
Disclaimer: I own my own strength, what little exists, not the rights to Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
He wasn't strong enough. He couldn't do it. Couldn't take the agony. The pain of hearing her screams. He thought it had been bad when she had disappeared without a trace for six months, but this was worse. This, knowing that she was just a few rooms away being tortured, and he couldn't do anything about it, couldn't do anything to stop it, to stop the people that were hurting her. That was the worst feeling yet.
Being in danger came with the job. A job they both loved. But being in love that was even more dangerous. It meant you had a weakness, a weakness that could be exploited, by the likes of Ward and Hydra.
He had always thought that love was supposed to make you stronger. You would be two for all the heavy lifting, would have someone to lean on. The flourishing lightness, and immense happiness would be kept tethered to the ground by the strong bond between them. There were supposed to be strength in numbers. But ever since he had acknowledged his feelings, he'd felt nothing but weakness, helplessness, and despair.
Love was not strength, but nor was it weakness. It was undefinable. It contained hope, but that hope was very easy to quench. It didn't take much to extinguish that little flame and spread a wildfire of heartbreak instead.
Sometimes if you loved someone, being weak was the only way to remain sane. If being strong meant listening to them slowly, and painfully killing Simmons for information that might be valuable to some, then he couldn't do it. Information might be important in their business, but not as important as a human life, and in his world there was absolutely nothing more valuable than a loved human life.
For her he would give up his strength in a heartbeat, even if that made him look weak in her eyes, if it meant keeping her safe and alive he didn't care. It was the right choice, the only choice.
A/N: Written mostly at work today (don't tell my boss), just learned that yet another friend of mine died of cancer yesterday. This has been some very crappy months.