It was a slow day at Beef Head Videos, and their lone employee Bishop Shidux just read some old porno mags he had over and over again to pass the time. He was actually contemplating joining some suicidal cult group when, lo and behold, Travis Touchdown entered the building...and he had a dark-skinned girl with a white afro following him. Bishop quickly tossed his magazines behind and exclaimed, "Travis, my man! I'm so fuckin' glad you came! Seriously, man, I thought I was gonna go crazy with boredom!"

"Just shut up and take the tape, man. That little bitch that works here keeps bugging me about being late with returning my rentals..." Travis grunted; he was obviously in a bad mood. Looking over the assassin's shoulder, Bishop watched as the girl with the white afro bent down to pick up a video on the floor, which allowed him to catch a glimpse of her panties.

Travis noticed this and snapped, "HEY, MAN! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

Bishop winked at his friend and whispered, "You know, man, you once told me you hated cosplayers because they 'besmirched' the true essence of anime...but now you come in here dragging along the cutest cosplayer girl I've ever seen! Awesome job, man!"

"...What are you talking about?" Travis asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Seriously, Travis...that girl looks so young and cute, you could actually mistake her for a high-school girl instead of a grown woman dressed like one..."

A sweatdrop went down the side of Travis' face as he replied, "Dude...that IS a high-school girl. Her name is Shinobu. We're...we're dating."

Bishop blinked a few times without a word. Then, he asked, "Wait...Travis...hold on, man...you and that girl...you're...? How old is she, man?"

"We're only nine years apart, dammit!" Travis hissed, making sure Shinobu didn't over hear their conversation, "Besides, we have alot in common...and she saved me once."

Bishop was about to ask what Travis meant, but then the girl named Shinobu walked up and asked, "...Do you sell anything that ISN'T pornographic here?"

"Well...what else would you buy? Actual movies?" Bishop asked sarcastically with a scoff. Suddenly, Shinobu had such a glare that if looks could kill, poor Bishop would have been blown to shreds from a single blink.

Tapping her on the shoulder, Travis said, "It's okay. We can watch something back at my place. I still have at least one tape about your father left somewhere..."

Almost immediately after Travis spoke, Shinobu calmed down and the fear of death ceased to linger over Bishop's head.

As Bishop watched Travis and Shinobu converse a bit, he could see the shimmer of true love flash in their eyes. 'Damn...they really are in love...age difference and racial difference mean nothing to them...I am so jealous of them...' he thought.

Travis broke Bishop out of his depressed inner monologue when he interjected, "By the way, tell Diane I said hi...unless she's pissed at me, then don't mention anything to her."

After saying goodbye to Bishop, Travis and Shinobu quickly left the store and drove off together on the Schpeltiger.

Bishop almost felt like crying. 'Dammit, Travis! Why are you always the lucky one?' he wondered sadly.

Suddenly, he had an idea. Grabbing his cellphone, he input a phone number, held it up to his ear, and said, "Uh...hey, Dr. Naomi! I was...uh...I was thinking, how about we go on a date together-"

"No."

Then she hung up...and Bishop was bored again. Suddenly, he had another idea.

"Hey, Diane-" Bishop called into the storage room in the back.

"No." came a reply.

"But..."

"NO!"

Bishop sighed and smacked his head against the wall a few times...and then he lost consciousness.