OK people! This is one of the oneshots I thought of while writing 50 Ways for Jasper to Abuse his Power. Enjoy!

PS! THIS STORY PLOT IS COPYRIGHTED! XD I looked around and I can't find any other stories like this, so it is all MINE! MWAHAHA!

This is a sister story to that chapter in the 50 THINGS AND WAYS series of mine where I cut off at 32. This makes up for the 18 missed points. Worth it, right?

Jasper POV

I sneaked around in the bushes, searching for the spot I had chosen earlier to hide my... sneaky objects.

Following a trail of my own scent from earlier this week, I reviewed the plan in my head. I doubted that it would work at all, but it was worth trying because if it did, it would make me a legend – and a force to be reckoned with; respected and left alone in our sibling prank rivalries every April first.

I recalled with a shudder the day two weeks ago when the clock had struck midnight...

"Okay, kids, I want a nice fair game!" chided Esme, as the clock ticked with agonising slowness away from 11:59. "No targeting Bella, as this is her first time, and don't overwhelm her with anything. If you must take advantage of her blatant disability," here she looked pointedly at Emmett with a disparaging look, "do not make it a physical joke as she is obviously able to die."

"I second that motion. No hurting my fiancée," said Edward coolly, but not in a warning way, more like an 'if you value all your body parts you won't cross me' kind of way.

"A fair game, sure," said Rosalie dryly. "This is coming from the woman who called the FBI on us last time when we ruined your garden!"

Carlisle shot her a 'don't go there' look, and glanced at the clock. A few more seconds to go...

"Oh, and Bella!" said Alice chirpily. "Don't forget that vampire April Fools goes until 12 at night, not in the morning. It's an all-day thing!"

Bella halfway blanched, and I laughed. She had no idea what she was in for otherwise she would have been on the ground screaming – it was going to be a long day for her and she was a first-timer. Poor Bella!

Yeah, poor Bella my ASS. She was the most diabolically gifted GENIUS I had ever encountered! Her pranks were a thousand times worse than normal ones because everyone was perfectly willing to help her because she was human, AND nobody ever expected her to play them!

Well, revenge was sweet and Edward and Bella were going to get a mouthful of their own medicine – only I'm adding poison.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Once I was in my special spot, I sat down cross legged and concentrated. I got out my sneaky objects (sealed bottles of bear and lion pheromones) and sprayed them distastefully around me. I waited for the animals to come, cautious so that I would be able to control them as they showed up in search of the nonexistent female whose scent they had caught.

I pushed out with my mind, feeling the animals and their mediocre emotions. This would have to be timed well if it were to work.

I closed my eyes and stood up, sending out strong waves of interest that would draw all the grizzlies and lions to me. They all advanced slowly, with faraway looks in their eyes.

I then pushed at them gently with territorial inclinations that led them to defend themselves around the Cullen mansion. This was the most dangerous part because if they broke free of my rigid directing they would turn on each other.

Everything was going smoothly as I focused completely on keeping them on track to the house. We started running and I monitored them all carefully to make sure they weren't going to take a chunk out of their fellow tools of my destruction.

Once I had them all assembled together around the house, all itching to kick ass for encroaching on their turf, I carefully and oh so slowly injected small amounts of fury into their emotional spoons.

When I was still able to keep them still, I tentatively topped off the fury with regular anger and wild energy. I pulled them all underneath Edward's window and made sure that they could all smell him and Bella...

Then I let them go.

Now, I'm sure you can imagine the hectic chaos that ensued, but in case you are exceptionally unimaginative or just want a play by play recount, I'll broaden it for you.

Mountain lions and bears are both creatures exceptionally adept at climbing.

They leaped furiously onto the wall and with manic energy pulled themselves swiftly upwards towards the window where the smell was stronger. A brawny, slight bear made it first and pulled back a huge paw to smash the window in.

I heard with satisfaction two gelled screams – Edward's bass to Bella's soprano.

I backed away slowly, then turned and scaled a tree to better see into the havoc.

Well, well, well. Efforts well rewarded! Bella was backed into a corner, terrified, while Edward furiously attacked each animal that was pouring in the window. I contemplated slipping Bella some dare so she would try attacking one of them herself, or maybe making Edward slow down so that one of them would get a shot at Bella.

But I wasn't that heartless... maybe.



I settled to watch as he destroyed each animal, feeling slightly guilty for their destruction, when another thought struck me.

Edward had no problem with the blood; being used to Bella's, this was very tame smelling in comparison. He would not get thirsty. Same for me and the others (who were all out of the house today anyway). But Bella... she would get sick from the smell.

Aw, crap. This was going to be unpleasant... I had wanted to get back at her but this would just be mean. Sad face... I wonder if I should call my troops off.

Bella was handling ok, though. She had her eyes squeezed tightly shut and was breathing through her mouth in short, clipped breaths. Practical.

Edward was faring ok, shooting wild glances behind him to Bella to make sure she wasn't sick. He seemed to deem her ok, because he threw himself back at the animals with doubled force and drove them back out the window. They fell to their deaths and he quickly disposed of the other corpses out of the window too.

He spun around, looking at the blood, and made his way to the bathroom, presumably for water and bleach, but just before he did...

He turned slowly, looking straight at me, piercing. His eyes were a flat black, and his upper lip curled over his teeth which were glistening in an extremely intimidating way.

"I'm coming for you," he breathed with malice, drawing one long finger slowly across his throat. I heard and saw him clearly.

At that point, I did have the sense to run.