Silence
Mello/Near, PG, 600 words.
And as he wraps his arms around me, I can do nothing but breathe in and close my eyes.
This wasn't planned, and maybe that's why I'm so unsure of what to do.
And maybe that's why I find myself so interested in him. His lack of logic, his total unpredictableness, maybe that's his allure.
He's an unsolvable puzzle, even for me.
He didn't knock on the door, but I knew it was him. Those footsteps. Nobody else's.
He opened the door, and I looked at him from the bed.
He was glaring at me, the pale light from the hallway caressing his hair, his eyes angry and confused and demanding and begging at the same time.
He didn't say a word, and I figured I didn't need to either.
He stood there, just there, and I knew he was waiting for my reaction.
I didn't give him any. I just turned the other way.
The noise of the creaking wood told me he had sat on the floor, next to my bed.
I wanted to ask why, I wanted to tell him it was too cold to stay on the floor, I wanted to sleep in peace.
I couldn't. How could I fell asleep with those eyes staring at my back? Asking, waiting, what are you waiting for, Mello?
I didn't say a word. I knew that anything I'd say would make him angry. It was always like that.
Maybe there was something wrong with my voice, or with my tone. However, the wisest thing to do was to let him do what he had come for, whatever it was.
After a while, he got up, sighed, and sat on the bed.
I felt the heat radiating from him at the base of my spine, and the sudden urge to arch my back. I didn't.
And he was still looking at me.
What are you searching for, Mello?
I saw his shadow on the wall. He leaned on me. A hand put his hair behind his ear, and then reached out to me.
It didn't touch me; it just lingered in the cold air. Then he retrieved it.
What is it that you want, Mello?
He sighed again.
Finally, his movements became faster, as if he had taken a decision.
He slid under the covers behind me.
I froze immediately. That was the last thing I had expected.
I could feel his breath on the back of my neck, and it was… Hot, and really fast.
Are you scared, Mello?
Then he got closer. I had never even thought it was possible to be this close to him.
Maybe… Maybe I should have spoken up, and made him go away. Maybe I should have faced his fury one more time. But then… Nothing would have remained anymore, just me, alone, in the dark.
I do believe I have one or two things to learn from him. He would never believe it if I said this out loud, but he has something I lack.
Therefore, it was only proper if I let him stay there for a while, just to study him.
But when his legs intertwined forcefully with mine, when his hands grabbed my shoulders, when his chest pressed on my back, my thinking became erratic.
He's holding me, there's no other way to put it.
His hand slips under my shirt, and comes to rest on my heart. He feels it's beating much more than normal, but he doesn't say anything.
And it's fine.
At least for now.
Our silence speaks louder than any of us could.
A/N: I can't write in english, I know. But I did it anyway. bricked