No More Drama
WARNING: An extremely angsty fic; will leave you, as my friend, who wrote it originally, said, 'an empty shell of a person.' May not get you the first time, but by the third...it will. I nearly bloody well cried...and I've only cried twice in my 18 years.
Song: No More Drama by Mary J. Blige ( kinda guessed that by the title, huh? )
So tired, tired of these drama
No more, no more
I wanna be free
I'm so tired, so tired
~*~
"Mrs. Maxwell? Mrs. Maxwell?"
Breaking out of her thoughts, Elizabeth looked at her lawyer. "Yes?" she asked softly.
"It's all done. Just signatures are needed." the lawyer slid the thin volume of paper towards her.
"Thank you." she rested her hands on the papers, looking down at them.
A momentary silence came down in the room. "Don't you think you should give your marriage another chance? I mean you're so young, you two could work it out."
"May I have a moment alone please?"
"Sure." the lawyer sighed, before walking out of the room and closing the door.
Pushing her chair from the table, she looked out the window of the high rise building. She felt so many things roiling inside of her: love, anger, depression, sadness. Like she had said in her vows she did want to stay with him forever; but not like this.
'But even forever doesn't last; it ends at some frigging point.' Her fingertips reached out and touched the cold glass.
She knew what would happen when she went home...one of two things. He wouldn't be there as usual...and if he was, he would cry, beg, for her back; he'd done it so many times before, and God, she'd tried. She gave him so many chances, giving in when she said she wouldn't because she believed in their love for one another, hoping, praying that things would change. But they didn't. The marriage was failing; she was done with Duo and the five years of bullshit she had to put up with. She wouldn't take it anymore and if this is what it took, then so be it. She would be strong for both their sakes' and end the constant hurt.
She turned back to the table and picked up the papers, the sunlight catching on the single diamond, making her pause before she put the papers in her bag and walked out.
"Mrs. Maxwell, do you need a ride?" her lawyer asked as she headed down the hall.
"No thank you; I'll walk." she said, heading for the staircase; it would do her good to clear her head and think about everything.
Stepping outside, she felt a cool breeze move softly through her hair, causing the red to glint. Sadly she looked down at her wedding ring, the sunlight winking through the faint cracks. They'd been through so much to be together. Maybe...maybe she should give him another chance; to prove himself to her.
'Yes; that's what I'll do.' If he could prove himself to be a man that he was or, at least, had been...she would take him back. If otherwise...
Then a hand rested gently on her shoulder, turning her around. Annoyance and shock took her over as she found herself looking at Nathaniel; her ex- fiancé.
"N...Nathaniel. What are you doing here?" she asked; he'd nearly scared her to death.
"I was taking off early from work. There's something about a Friday afternoon, you know?"
"Yeah." she smiled feeling a bit better. "That's partially the reason why I took the day off from work as well."
"Partially?"
"I had to see my lawyer."
"Oh. How's Duo doing?"
"Busy as ever." she replied, slight bitterness in her voice. "Busy, busy, busy."
"Hm." a displeased note came to his voice; he understood her implication fully. "Well...since we're here, how about we go to that little ristorante around the corner? Get biscotti and dinner?" he offered his arm.
She chuckled; Nathaniel always could cheer her up...just like Duo had. "Sure. I could use a chocolate dipped biscotti right about now." she took it and they walked down the street.
Quickly, Elizabeth glanced back at the building, before giving Nathaniel her full attention. 'Last chance Duo. Last chance.'
Rubbing his eyes, Duo looked at the clock. "Shit, it's nine already. Elizabeth's gonna be mad." he muttered.
He tilted back in the seat, stretching his stiff muscles. 'I hurt her too much.' The thought passed through his mind as he looked at the papers.
He did love Elizabeth, he truly did; but their marriage had become comfortable. He knew he worked far too much and couldn't make time for her, but work was important for him at this point. They were more than getting by, far more. But he wanted more, for them, and whatever children they might have, to not worry.
"Hm." he murmured with a smile, looking up at the calendar on his office wall.
Elizabeth's birthday was coming up soon, and he had booked tickets to Paris for a romantic vacation. And after the trip, he would tell her all about the custom built house he had made for them. That too was part of the reason why he worked so much; he needed money to pay for the house. He wanted it, hell, he wanted everything to be perfect for Elizabeth.
Broken heart again
Another lesson learned
Better know your friends
Or you will get burned
Gotta count on me
Cause I can guarantee
That I'll be fine
~*~
Playing with the hem of her tank top, Odelle looked out the window to see a vicious storm, rain pelting the windows; what had happened to the beautiful summer day outside? Lowering her gaze, she looked at Wufei; his feet were resting on the coffee table, legs stretched out. He had a beer in his hand, the remote lying between them as they watched TV.
For the first time in five years, she felt disgusted and thoroughly angry at him. It had been so long since he said he loved her, little over a year. How long had they been living together, Odelle waiting patiently to make it official? This was it for her. Taking the remote, she turned off the TV.
"What was that for?" Wufei asked slightly annoyed. "I was watching the surgery."
"We need to talk."
Wufei knew he was in trouble, he could take a hint. They'd been living together long enough. "All right."
"Wufei, why won't you marry me? We love each other, don't we?"
"Honey, it's like we're practically married." the moment he said those words, he wished he could take them back, the look of rage and deep cutting hurt in her eyes sliced his heart to bits.
"You...you just don't get it do you?" she choked, bolting from the couch to the main hallway.
"Odelle, wait!" he called, rising to go after her.
The words had come out all wrong, she didn't understand. He did want to marry her, sweet Nataku, he did; he just never knew if she was ready. He wanted her to give her time to think, to make the decision right for her.
"Odelle!" as he made it to the hallway, the sound of driving rain greeted his ears before the slam of the door.
Tearing open the front door, he saw the car headlights disappear down the road; he could barely see them it was raining hard, unable to follow; damn it, why did the other car have to be in the shop?! He stood there in the rain, long after she had gone.
'Where did she go? What have I done?'
Sitting in the car, Odelle clenched the wheel in tight fingers, just staring at the now foggy windshield. So that was it...after five years...that was it. That was all he wanted. Nothing more, nothing less. It hurt; it cut deep and hard. Starting to shiver slightly, she looked up at the dashboard to see the number. It belonged to the man who'd just started working with her. Quatre; Quatre Raberba Winner. He was really sweet and sincere when he'd asked her out to dinner. She had told him that she was involved and still he gave her his number, saying that maybe they could be friends instead; that alone was rare enough. They had talked frequently, becoming easy friends...but what a façade it was.
Numbness starting to work its way into her bones, she got out of the car into the biting rain and wind walking up to his doorstep and ringing the doorbell. She wished she had grabbed her jacket, she was really starting to get cold.
"Odelle!!" Quatre exclaimed, surprised at seeing her at his front door. "Jeez, come in, come in!!!"
"Th...th...th...thanks." she managed in between chattering teeth.
"Man, you're soaked through and through. Come." he said taking her hand.
She couldn't really protest, her muscles could barely move her to the living room where a fireplace was.
"Wait here." he said disappearing before coming back a few minutes' later, arms piled with towels, pillows and blankets. Silently, he dried her off as best he could, but her clothes dripped constantly with water. "Uh...the clothes have to come off Odelle; they're too wet and you can't get dry with them on. You'll have to wear a towel...I don't have any clean clothes you can borrow. They're all in the wash. Sorry."
She shook her head; it wasn't his fault she'd come on laundry day or that there was a storm outside. "T...to...towel." she managed, her teeth weren't chattering as much. "Now...t...turn around." she said as she took the towel from him.
He dutifully turned and a few minutes later she was clad only in her underwear, a towel wrapped around her dry but chilly skin. "Done."
"Hm." he turned around. "You're...still cold aren't you? Sit in front of the fire."
She nodded, sitting down carefully in front of the warm crackling grate. She had seen the look in his eyes before he lowered them; it made her skin feel all tingly. He was good looking there was no denying that, but-
"Huh?" she looked up, feeling a blanket settle around her shoulders.
Quatre smiled at her, a shaky smile. "You feel like a lump of ice." he murmured, touching her face gently.
"Hm." she looked away, feeling her face go red; it had also been awhile since Wufei had paid her any attention.
"Th...thank you Quatre." she gazed in to the fire, rubbing her arms beneath the blanket.
There came a rustle of cloth before he sat behind her, wrapping his arms around her. "What would bring you all the way here in such a bad storm? What's wrong?"
She stiffened a bit before relaxing; why the hell not? She certainly wasn't 'involved' any more. "I...don't ask." she said softly. "I'm going to start to rant and I'm sure you remember my rants from work, don't you?"
He chuckled a bit, his breath moving over her skin as a soft whisper. "You can talk and I won't say anything. Just get it all out."
"You asked for it." she began.
As she released all her anger towards Wufei, Quatre pulled her closer and closer eventually resting his head on her soft shoulder. Finally saying her last words, she looked back at Quatre.
"It's all out." she whispered looking into his aqua green eyes, heart pounding. She licked her lips nervously before looking away at the fire. Should she do what the small voice inside her head was telling her to do?
"Odelle?"
She looked back at Quatre for what seemed like forever before she saw him move forward, kissing her gently. She responded almost instantly; she'd been deprived for too long.
"I've wanted to do that for a long time." he whispered looking into her black brown eyes.
"So have I." she kissed him again, arching as his hands slid up her back underneath the blanket, undoing the towel.
Still kissing, she pulled him down on top of the blanket with her and by the heat of the fire, she forgot about the pain Wufei had caused her...temporarily.
No more pain (no more pain)
No more pain (no more pain)
No drama (no drama in my life)
No one's gonna make me hurt again
What a player fool
Go through up and downs
Nowhere and all the time
You wouldn't be around.
Or maybe I like the stress
Cause I'm young and restless
But there was so long ago
I don't wanna cry no more
~*~
Getting up from the bed, Zechs slid his pants on and headed for the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror, running a hand through his hair, feeling disgusted.
"Hey." came the soft husky voice followed by arms around his chest. "How was it?"
He glanced up to see their reflections in the mirror, his naked secretary resting her cheek against his shoulder. Before the feel of her skin brushing his would have turned him on, but now it was just a reminder of what he'd done. The full impact was crushing almost...it would be for her.
'What a slut. I've just done the worst thing to my wife. How could I? She doesn't deserve this...or me.' Abruptly, he turned away, going back into the room and dressing quickly.
"Hey...Zechs baby, where are you going?"
He paused at the bedroom door; he couldn't even look at her; where there had been attraction...lust even, was now replaced by disgust and revulsion. "You're fired." he said before walking out.
Getting into his car, he drove home. Phoebe wouldn't be there when he got back, she would be at the hospital, still working. That gave him some time.
He couldn't tell her, he couldn't hurt her even more, but he needed to tell someone. Wufei had known about the two month old affair and he swore he wouldn't tell; so far so good. The affair had been nothing more than attraction; no feeling, shallow and fleet.
Pulling into the driveway, he headed in, going to the shower immediately. As the hot water pounded down, he grabbed the bar of soap and began to scrub almost frantically. He had to wash her off of him, off his lips, off his body, he wanted to forget everything of the obscene night; but it would always haunt him, reminding him of what he'd done, of his betrayal.
Finally as the water began to run cold, he turned off the taps, hands against the red tile wall, head hanging.
'I've done the worst thing to my wife. How could I? I love her so much and I know she loves me and look at what I've done. I...I have to tell her.'
He looked up to see his own wavy reflection in the tiles, before he hung his head again, tears coming to his eyes.
'Adultery. The worst sin.'
Phoebe sat beside her patient, trying to console him. His wife had just left him for somebody else, even saying that she slept with him.
"She said it was only once." his face was swollen with tears. "How could she do this to me? I loved her so much."
"Hey, it'll be OK. You could take joint counseling sessions with her to get through this. More often than not, it's just a communication problem. Would you like that?" she asked gently.
He avoided the question. "What would you do if it was you?"
Phoebe paused for a moment. True, she and Zechs were busy, but they managed to make time for each other. Lately though, her hospital shifts had been wonky as they hired new doctors; she'd barely seen him in three months...if she counted seeing him fast asleep in their bed.
"Well?" her patient asked again with a sniffle.
"I don't know." she said softly. "It's never happened to me."
No more pain (no more pain)
No more game (no more game messing with my mind)
No drama (no more drama in my life)
No one's gonna make me hurt again
No more tears (no more tears, I'm tired of cryin' every night)
No more fears (no more fears, I really don't wanna cry)
No drama (no more drama in my life)
I don't ever want to hurt again
Wanna speak my mind, wanna speak my mind
~*~
*2 weeks later*
Everyone stood in Phoebe and Zechs condominium, waiting for Elizabeth to come by so she could see the surprise they had planned for her. Wufei, Odelle, Quatre, Naomi, Trowa were already there, milling around. Hannah and Heero were on their way.
Naomi looked at Trowa from across the room. He stood by himself, drinking the glass of wine she had given him when they'd entered the party. This was too much for her; this had gone on for long enough. She walked up to him.
"Trowa...we really need to talk." she said sweetly.
Trowa looked at her; now she decided to notice him? He still couldn't believe that his little princess could hurt him so badly. They had been married for three years and before that whenever a man walked by her she would have lowered her head, looked away. What had happened to her? He had loved her so much but now he felt as if that love wasn't returned; he wouldn't do anything for fear of jeopardizing their marriage. But pain was his only true companion; every time they went to the university faculty parties that were thrown occasionally, she would flirt with all the other men in the history department. She wouldn't even give him one glance much less a dance. So many times he waited in the car for her, unable to bear it. And the drive home was always uncomfortable, filled with that pained silence.
"Trowa?" she asked again.
"Yeah, we do. Does this wine taste funny to you? I don't think so. Even if it did you wouldn't notice."
Naomi looked at him; the bitterness in his voice made her notice he felt something like her. Why didn't he say something before? Couldn't he see that she was unhappy? He never talked to her about what was wrong. All it ever was with him was what she wanted, he never talked about his needs and wants; it was always her. She grew tired of winning every single argument; he never put up a fight. She even found herself wishing that they would have a screaming match once in a while. But that's why she flirted, pretended that he wasn't there. Damn it all she wanted was for him to say something so she would know how she felt. But always...it was silence.
"Why don't you say anything Trowa?" she started in a cracked voice. "I flirt on purpose, waiting for you to say something, anything, even if it is 'Are you having fun?'; but you never do. I'm tired of arguing with myself, you never put up a fight. You always want what I want, what I need. Trowa I need to hear from you too. Tell me what you need...tell me what you want." she was on the verge of crying now.
"You really want to know what I want?" he asked softly.
"Yes Trowa; that's all I want to know." she said, eyes, starting to get wet.
"I want to take a break from us." he said with weary sadness as he walked away from her.
Naomi watched his back as he moved to the other side of the room. And she realized for the first time that she had hurt him more than she thought possible.
Wufei saw Odelle by herself leaning against the wall. Since the exchange two weeks ago he hadn't seen her at all. The only form of contact he had was when she left him a brief note when she came to pick up her clothes from their house; she'd been staying at Elizabeth's...or so he thought. He didn't blame her for not wanting to see him, he had hurt her badly...but from her reaction he knew. She had been ready for marriage for a long time, but with Odelle sometimes, he just couldn't tell.
He walked up to her, ring box in hand. He was sure he had her; Odelle was a forgiving person by nature, she never really stayed mad...that was one of the reasons why he loved her. He got down on one knee and reached for her hand.
"Odelle...these past years spent with you have been absolutely amazing. I wanted to marry you, I just never knew if you were ready. Say yes. Marry me and be my wife?"
Her hand slid out of his slowly; the pain in her eyes was still there.
"Wufei...I can't. I'm sorry." she whispered softly.
Then he saw the figure behind her, holding two glasses. She turned to him and took one, walking away from Wufei, as the blond man put his arm around her waist, leaving him there on one knee.
The faint starlight glimmered off of the wine and whiskey bottles. Elizabeth still hadn't shown up and Wufei and Naomi had gone to the balcony to escape the atmosphere inside and the ones they hurt. The alcohol was really helping in that last department. The way they saw it now, they'd get good and drunk before the party started; not drunk enough to embarrass themselves, but drunk enough to tolerate the hurt so they didn't have to deal with their problems.
"Goddamnit I blew it." Wufei muttered after taking a drink of whiskey. "I had all the time in the world and I didn't use it; now I've lost her to some blond jackass. I knew I should have proposed, I knew it...but I can never really tell with her sometimes. Damn it, I should have proposed after that whole thing with Johnny five years ago. Then she would be mine."
Naomi gave a small laugh. "No, I'm not mocking you Wufei." she said when she saw his glare through faintly blurring vision. "At least you had her. Me, I went and fucked things up with Trowa real well. What the hell was I thinking? Flirting with all those men...they were no where close to Trowa. I just should have asked him. I had such a good thing and I had to go and spoil it. God, I love him so much but it's always me. Me, me, me. Never him." she took a swig from the wine bottle. "Ack! This isn't working!! Damn wine isn't strong enough. I'm no where close to buzzed."
"Naomi, meet my good friend the whiskey bottle." he handed it to her.
"There we go." she said, feeling the warmth spread over her. "I don't think wine works on me any more. Too many of the fancy parties at the university."
"Hm. Pass the bottle."
Sitting companionably on the bricks they drank, trying to make it all go away; at least for a night. But they knew that sooner or later that they would have to leave; they wouldn't be able to stand it for much longer.
"Jeez Louise, it's chilly out there tonight!!" Hannah exclaimed as she and Heero walked into the condominium building.
"Well, we can't have that can we?" he murmured, pulling her in for a kiss.
Hannah giggled. They had had their share of problems like every one else, but her friends jokingly said that her and Heero were the perfect couple. The irony. He was happier now since she told him that he would be a father. He wouldn't let her lift a finger. But he seemed more full of life...dare she say more...hell there wasn't a word for it. Even now she could remember the look on his face at Elizabeth and Duo's wedding when Duo said they would make Heero and Hannah the godparents of any children they had. Heero's face had gone pure white...probably from the thought of the words Maxwell and children together in the same sentence.
"Heero?" she asked as they walked into the brightly lit lobby.
"Hm?"
She smiled feeling his arm hug her closer. "Do you think...that maybe tonight we could...you know...have our-"
"Leave me alone you asshole! You wait until today of all days to tell me this!"
Startled they looked up to see Phoebe running through the lobby, tears down her face.
"Phoebe!"
Hannah watched as Heero stopped Zechs who was following her.
"What's going on Zechs?" Heero knew it was a dumb question, Wufei had told him everything, following a slight of tongue which he now cursed daily. And looking at Zechs he saw that recognition in his eyes.
"Nothing. None of your business." he replied immediately. 'He knows.' "Hannah I need you to take care of everything upstairs. Please? I have to find her, calm her down." he didn't even wait for a reply before taking off.
"I wonder what that was all about?" she wondered looking at the door. Heero had a funny look on his face. "Heero...do you know something?"
He looked down at her. "Don't worry, someone is bound to tell you with that grapevine you and your friends have."
"Well, why can't you?"
"I promised."
"Oh. OK."
They headed up, the terrible elevator music filing the silence. Soon enough they found themselves at the condo. Just as they took off their jackets, the door opened again.
"Surprise!" everyone yelled. "Happy birthday Elizabeth!"
Elizabeth didn't seem too happy, but she gave a smile anyway, Duo walking in behind her. After all the hugs and kisses, Hannah drew her aside.
"Megs...what's wrong?" she asked quietly.
"Nothing...hey, where's Phoebe and Zechs? Or Wufei for that matter? And who's the blond guy with Odelle?"
"I don't know about Wufei, but Phoebe ran out and Zechs followed her. I have no idea about the blond guy, I just got here too."
"Hm. Wonder what that was about?"
"You got me there." she replied. "I have no clue about what could have set them over the edge."
Phoebe sat on the park bench, trying to get a grip on herself. It would be awhile before Zechs would find her; she had her track days at school to thank for her ability to run fast.
"Hey, what's wrong? Are you OK?"
Looking up she saw Wufei; damn. Zechs must have asked him for help with finding her. Right now she didn't want to see anyone, not even a friend.
"Get out of my fucking way." she said softly, moving to sidestep him.
"I'm not moving until you tell me what's wrong." he said blocking her. He had all the time in the world now. He couldn't bear to see Odelle with...'blondie' back there; he had to leave.
"Ask my husband." she replied, trying to sidestep him again.
"He told you about the-"
"You knew!? You knew and didn't tell me?!" she screamed at him tears coming to her eyes; he'd tell Wufei but not his wife first? "What were you trying to do; protect me? From getting hurt? He touched her Wufei...he touched her and then came back to me when that wasn't enough! He touched her...and you knew this...and...you never..." she broke down into tears.
"Hey." Wufei tried to hug her, but she shoved him away, holding her arms, tears streaming down her face.
Phoebe didn't put up a fight as Wufei hugged her again; she simply buried her face into his shoulder crying for every thing she had been through with Zechs.
"So Odelle are you going to introduce me to your friend here?" Elizabeth asked with a smirk on her face; she loved doing this to her best friend sometimes.
"Huh?" Odelle turned around. "Elizabeth!"
"Hey! Careful chica; I need to breathe!" she wheezed as she was squeezed by a huge hug.
"Sorry." Odelle had a silly smile on her face. "It's been so long since I've seen you. Been hanging out with Nathaniel a lot lately, huh?" she winked at her; Odelle had been there that day at the wedding.
"Yeah. One must pass the boredom somehow." she looked at the blond guy who was watching their exchange with a smile. "So introduce your best friend already! Or am I going to have to introduce myself? That would be quite rude ya know."
"Would you stop exaggerating?" Odelle rolled her eyes. "Quatre, this is my best friend Elizabeth."
"Nice to meet you Elizabeth." he said shaking her hand.
"Likewise." she was now dying to hear the next part. She'd seen the way they were keeping to themselves in the corner.
"Elizabeth my...hi Duo!"
Elizabeth turned around to see Duo's violet eyes, twinkling with happiness. "Yes Duo?" she asked.
"Let's talk. I have a surprise for you."
Elizabeth let herself be led away by Duo happily. He wasn't going to be working so much any more, they would actually spend time together. Things would go back to-
"What's this?" she asked looking down at the two pieces of paper in her hand
"Look." he said
Opening one of them, her heart stopped; that was it. This was over now.
"Tickets for a European vacation, huh? How...hmm what's the word, oh yes, exotic." she said sarcastically before she shoved the tickets back to him.
"You aren't happy?" he asked puzzled.
"No Duo, I am not!" she exclaimed loudly. "Why are you always trying to buy me off, huh? Is that what you think? That you can buy me some fancy-smancy thing and everything will be all right?! You can buy me something to make me happy? Well I've got a news flash for you buddy, all I ever wanted, we had it all at the start. All I ever wanted was you."
"Elizabeth-" he began.
"I never wanted the bracelet or the earrings or the necklace! Those things never brought me happiness Duo...you did. Why can't you see that?" she took off the jewelry and flung it to the carpeted floor. "Oh that's right, because you were working all the time! Happiness for me was never in the things you bought Duo...it was you. But you know what? I don't think you saw that. Well guess what? I have a surprise for you too."
Angry, she stalked to the hallway and grabbed her bag and jacket, returning a few minutes later.
"Here!" she shoved a slim booklet of papers into his hands as well as her wedding ring. "See what your money has really bought you!!"
He watched as she paused at the hallway entrance.
"I hope you're very happy with it Duo Maxwell." she said in a sob before she disappeared, the sound of the door opening and slamming shut.
Duo looked down at the papers, his heart freezing when he reached the last page. There were two lines and on one was her signature, the end blurred faintly by a teardrop; the other one was blank.
She was divorcing him.
Phoebe walked into the hotel room, flicking on the lights. She had gone back for her car and drove around for about an hour before she checked herself into a hotel; she did not want to go back home tonight; she didn't know if she wanted to go back for a while, she didn't know...
'God, I don't know what to think, what to do...I don't know at all.'
Feeling weary and exhausted by her evening, she headed for the shower; she couldn't be bothered to draw herself a bath. She stepped underneath the warm water jets letting them massage away the tenseness in her shoulders. After what seemed like forever, she stepped out, putting on the fluffy white robe hanging on the back of the door, she didn't bring any clothing with her.
Going to the bed, she lay down looking at the lamp on the night table. She would have liked to go to sleep, but all her crying and yelling had given her a headache. Reaching into her bag, she took out her trusty Tylenol bottle and then called room service for something to eat. Then her cell phone rang.
She looked at it; she didn't know why she was going to pick it up when she knew who it was.
"Look Phoebe, I need to talk to you. Where are you?" Zechs' voice sounded distant, the reception was fuzzy like he was driving.
"Zechs...talking to you is the last thing I want to do right now." she said softly before flipping the cell shut.
A couple of hours later, she looked out he window, to see a dreary depressing greyish black drizzle over the city skyline. Tonight was perfect for her mood, she and the sky were weeping...so much weeping.
Then a soft knock came from the door. "Took long enough." she muttered; why did room service always seem to take forever?
As she opened the door it didn't reveal the bellhop as she had hoped. Her husband stood there instead, his long white hair wet and matted down, the scent of rain curling off of him as water ran down his face, leaving his features wet, and soaked his clothing. She stood there looking at him, she wanted to forgive him...she really did. Silently, she went to the bathroom and got him a towel and robe, letting him in. he disappeared into the bathroom and came out a few minutes later. In his hands was a single red rose, untouched by the tears of the sky. She looked back out the window. He walked up to her placing a hand on her shoulder gently. Taking the rose, Phoebe let him hug her from behind. They stood staring at the rain...watching as it cleansed away the dirt from the air and earth.
Picking up the receiver, Hannah dialed Phoebe's number. Every one had left for the night except for her, Heero, Naomi and Elizabeth who had come back; they all would be crashing there for the night. Odelle had left earlier with Quatre and no one thought that she'd be back.
'She's not picking up.' Hannah put the phone back down looking at it. 'Please let her phone be off the hook. This whole night was a whole fucking disaster; hell I think everyone but Heero and me had a fight. And we don't know where Duo is, where the hell Phoebe and Zechs disappeared to, Wufei has gone to Lord knows what bar, intent on getting himself good and drunk from what Naomi said and Trowa probably went home.'
Shaking her head, she went for the bottle of wine. 'Duh Hannah!! You can't drink that!!!'
Heero motioned her to the couch to come and sit beside him. Hannah came settling down happily in his arms and slowly they fell asleep in each other's arms.
Odelle looked over at Quatre's sleeping face. She was starting to feel bad; she didn't really love him, she had just felt so wounded that night two weeks ago. She needed some sort of vindication that she felt loved by someone. But deep in her heart, she knew that Wufei was the only one for her. No matter how much they may hurt one another, she knew it with every fiber of her being.
Slipping out of the bed, she walked down to the backyard in barefeet, sitting down on the grass and looking up at the moon. She had felt a strange sort of happiness with Quatre; she was happy, yet...she wasn't. She missed Wufei with every breath she had. He was the man she had fallen in love with completely; the one she knew inside and out. But why? Why hadn't he wanted to marry her when they had time together? He had hurt her terribly with that sentence and she in turn had slept with Quatre...she had...
'Oh sweet God no. What have I done?' The realization hit her like a ton of bricks now. She had slept with Quatre; she had betrayed her love in the worst way possible. 'Oh sweet Nataku. How could I do that to him? How could I? I have dishonored him and myself. I have... '
Tears coming to her eyes, she curled up on the grass weeping now. It was cold outside now at three a.m., but she wouldn't go inside; she didn't deserve warmth of any kind. None at all.
Bored, Elizabeth looked around the dark room from her recliner. Naomi was on the bed. Her marriage was over, all sealed by that thin little booklet she had given him earlier in the evening. She had tried to kill time by wondering why, just why, she had blown up at him; he was just trying to help. But she knew why.
'Oh Elizabeth, stop deluding yourself. Duo doesn't know what he really wants. All I wanted was him, just him; not the money or the constant excuses.'
With a sigh she looked over at Naomi. "Are you up Naomi?"
"Yeah." came her friend's barely heard whisper. "What do you want Elizabeth?"
"Pass me a pillow please?"
Taking the pillow, she looked at her friend. "Naomi?"
No response; not that she blamed her. Placing the pillow on the recliner, she closed her eyes trying to sleep and to not have to worry about her problems; they would still be there in the morning.
A soft noise came from the bed, as Naomi sat up. Elizabeth was fast asleep now. She almost envied her ability to drop off like that sometimes, she wished she had it now. The night kept replaying out in her mind, her first and last argument with Trowa, her flirting, their pain. He had just stood by the wall, trying to not cry, but he failed and for the second time she saw his tears; tears that she had caused this time. By the time he left in the cab, his eyes were red from tears and the alcohol he had gotten quietly drunk on. But now she only had tears left for one thing. It wasn't the impact the night had on all of them...well except Hannah and Heero, but for something else.
She looked down at her stomach, smoothing her hands over the still smooth surface. She never even got to tell Trowa that she was pregnant.
Phoebe broke the silence. "How?"
"I called around." a pause came. "I should have told you when it started..." Zechs began and Phoebe pulled away from him, stepping closer to the window.
"When were you going to tell?" her head was beginning to ache again; the damn Tylenol had said four hours, not two and a half. "When it started you told me it was only once." her voice was starting to sound edgy and slightly emotional.
"You didn't listen, you stormed out before I could tell you. I never wanted to hurt you." he said the last part in a cracked whisper. "I'm so sorry Phoebe. I'm so sorry."
She looked back at him for a second before she looked back out the window to the rain. "I always thought that I would be one of those women who lived to serve their husbands in every way, and if he cheated on me, I would forgive him. But you taught me to do what I had to do. What was important." her voice became quieter and quieter until it was barely heard above the soft sound of the rain.
Zechs held his breath, he knew it was coming, her pause was far too long. It was as if she didn't want to say it.
She took a deep breath. "We need to be apart. We knew this day was coming; we tried Zechs, we tried and it wasn't easy, being busy all the time. But the signs were there; we became so apart but didn't see it, didn't want to. The difference between me and you is that I didn't cheat on you; I was faithful the whole time."
Phoebe and Zechs didn't look at each other, yet their tears fell from their faces, for what they had and what they had lost and weren't sure if they still had.
Uh, it feel so good
When you let go
Avoid these drama in your life
Now you're free from all the pain
Free from all the game
Free from all the stress
So bye your happiness
I don't know
Only God knows where the story is
For me, but I know where the story begins
It's up for us to choose
Whatever we win or lose
And I choose to win
~*~
Red with blood. Every thing seemed drenched with the liquid. Trying to sit up, she realized it was her own. Her stomach felt as if it was being lacerated from the inside, the hot lancing pain bolting up and down her abdomen. She cried out in pain and the last thing she saw were the flickering lights.
"Where am I?" groggily she tried to sit back up and get out of the bed.
The room was so white, Heero and his brown hair standing out, while the nurse blended right in.
"Don't worry, it'll be OK. Don't try to do anything too strenuous." the nurse gently pushed her back down.
"What? Why? What's wrong?" she asked, voice edgy; she didn't care about herself. Why had her stomach hurt her so badly? Was their child OK? "Well?! Aren't you going to tell me?!" she anxiously demanded. "Tell me damn it!"
"Ma'am...I'm very sorry. You had a miscarriage."
Hannah looked at the nurse; how could she be so calm? She didn't believe what she just heard.
"There was a lot of bleeding. But we managed to control it. But...after this...you won't be able to have children. Ever."
Hannah watched as the nurse left the room quietly. Slowly she put her hands on her stomach; the bulge was gone. That did it, making her burst into tears. She had wanted to have a child and a family so much and now......
Still crying, she felt Heero hug her tightly, whispering into her hair, trying to comfort her; this must have been devastating to him too; he had always wanted children, had been so eager to be a father. Wrapping her arms around him tightly, she sobbed into Heero now, both of them mourning the loss of their unborn child.
Entering the waiting room with a bouquet of roses, Trowa looked around; he had just heard the news about Hannah. 'Poor girl. She was so happy.'
Naomi, Elizabeth, Odelle Quatre, Phoebe, Wufei, Duo and Zechs were already there.
He walked up to them. "How is she?" he asked no one in particular, hoping to get an answer from Naomi. He hadn't seen her since the trial separation. His hope was answered.
"She's fine. But she lost the baby." Naomi said softly.
"That's horrible. How's she taking it?"
"We haven't seen her yet, but from Heero's expression, not too well." Phoebe said wearily.
Zechs looked at her, she looked like she would drop any minute now; he knew it was because of him. He'd been losing sleep over it as well. "You should get some rest Phoebe, you don't look too good."
"I'm fine really." she gave a small cough. "I just need to sit down."
Zechs shook his head as he walked her over to the seats at the opposite. "Why do doctors never see themselves as sick when they are?"
"Hush you. You aren't helping much. And I'm not sick." she said before coughing a bit.
'Wow. She does look like shit; poor girl.' Wufei wished he had told her about Zechs earlier.
His gaze swung around to see Odelle letting herself be held by Quatre, but there was a strange sense about her...something inordinately pained. Like she was just letting Quatre stoke her hair to calm him down, to make him happy. Yet she seemed utterly miserable. Turning away he headed out leaning against the far wall; as far as he could tell, he wasn't mistreating her; if he had been it, would have been a world of pain for blondie. It didn't mean he was thrilled seeing them together...well with blondie who had his hands on Odelle.
'As if he can protect her; who does that ass think he is? I need a frigging drink. Stupid hospitals don't have any bars; damn hygienic bastards, they should at least carry alcohol.' He leaned against the wall closing his eyes, calming his mind.
More than once he felt gazes on him, more particularly Odelle's. His skin always felt electrified whenever she even gave him the slightest glance. Damn he loved her so much...so much time apart now, blondie in the way.
"I think they're going to let us see her soon. I'm going down to the gift shop; anyone want to come?" Duo asked, rising from his seat; he obviously wanted to get out of the slightly stifling atmosphere.
Zechs got up to go. "I'll be right back OK?" he said to Phoebe before giving her a kiss on the forehead.
He watched as Phoebe gave him a little smile before he walked away; at least they were working things out. Now he could see Trowa and Naomi walk off to a corner, discussing pressing matters. Blondie was still stroking Odelle's hair and Elizabeth was standing in another corner thinking.
"Hey." he said walking up to her. "How've you been doing?"
"Oh fine." she gave him a weak smile.
"He's been going nuts without you, you know? Keeps me up at night with his constant crying 'I want her back'; sometimes I want to get out of bed and kick him or tell to fuck off in the middle of the night."
She laughed; sometimes she just had to love Wufei's blunt sense of humor. "What about you? Dating yet?" she still had trouble believing that Odelle didn't want to see him ever again; she had gotten the feeling that Odelle was lying when she said that she was perfectly happy with Quatre. Her and Wufei, they just fit too well together.
"Yeah. See I just met this great girl, the only problem is, is that she's still in love with her husband and won't give him another chance."
"Really? Well why don't you just go for it?"
Now it was his turn to laugh; Elizabeth and Odelle they always could understand his humor...Odelle even more so when he said it in Chinese and she got the full implications. Once he had her laughing so hard that she snorted; it was the most, he hated using this word but it fit perfectly, cutest thing he had ever seen.
"Seriously though. Meet anyone new?
"No; just...chilling." he paused looking back at Odelle. "No one can take her place." he murmured.
"Hey." Elizabeth touched his shoulder gently. "I know she still loves you. Call it whatever you will but I know my best friend. She still does. But something else is bothering her though."
Wufei nodded his head. "I can't figure out what though."
"Hm." was all Elizabeth replied back; she was really worried about her buddy.
Zechs and Duo came back with large teddy bears and flowers just as the nurse entered the waiting room and told them they could see Hannah. Everyone walked in giving them kisses and hugs, trying to be there for the two who had lost the greatest; their tear streaked faces were only a tiny indicator of that. The room eventually fell silent, no one trying to break the hush. Then one by one the tears escaped from Heero Yuy's eyes.
"Oh Heero." Naomi said hugging him; she understood how he felt. If she lost her child to her own carelessness with the alcohol from that night... "It'll be OK. Really." she whispered.
But she and everyone else knew that was a partial lie. Nothing could ever be the way it was before all this tragedy.
A few days later Hannah was released from the hospital; she never wanted to experience this type of pain. Ever again.
No more pain (no more pain)
No more game (tired of your playin' game with my mind)
No drama (no more drama in my life)
No more, no more, no more
No more tears (no more tears, no more cryin' every night)
No more fears (no more waking be up in the morning)
No drama, no more in my life
~*~
Coughing a bit, Wufei picked up his prescription from the pharmacy and headed for the car. He had just visited his doctor who had prescribed him some antibiotics for the late summer cold he had just caught. He was at the stage where all he felt like was crap. Plunking himself down in the driver's seat, he tossed the pills on the passenger's side
He hadn't really want to come out and get the medicine...but he'd done it anyway, knowing that Odelle would have gotten them for him if she was still there. He knew she was at Quatre's now, and every single day he told himself that he would go, talk to her, explain, make her see. Those month old words had separated them long enough in his opinion. He would put an end to this; just as soon as he got better.
Weary, he turned on the ignition. It was a foggy pitch black night and he would be glad to get back to the warm house and crawl into bed...even if it had been painfully empty with just him in it.
Driving to the curb, he paused squinting in both directions to see through the fog; nothing.
"Odelle." he sighed driving forward.
Then came the screaming horn from nowhere before the truck slammed into the sedan. The last thing he thought was Odelle, his breath pushing her name from his lips one final time.
No more drama, no more drama
No more drama, no more drama
NO MORE DRAMA
~*~
Elizabeth stood there listening to the Chinese priest talk while Odelle's quiet voice translated the words. It was all so pretty and flowery; he would have hated it. Even now it was tough to believe that he wouldn't be there anymore; no more of those nights when he, her and Odelle would make bad political cracks, no more listening to their heated exchanges in rapid fire Chinese.
No more.
Feeling a hand slip into hers and give a gentle squeeze, she saw Duo, giving her a wane smile.
'Be strong' it said. 'For yourself and for her.'
She smiled back just as wanely. She had to be strong for Odelle; her friend who had already been depressed about something and melancholic, barely saying anything, had now lapsed in to complete silence, the pain in her eyes like an open book for any one to read.
'I will be strong for her and for myself. Wufei, I will watch out for her like you did.'
NO MORE DRAMA
~*~
Trowa stood there, the smooth syllables flowing over him. His best friend gone; just like that. One day he was there, the next he was lying in the morgue cold, lifeless, another one of the many stiffs there. How ironic that he was the first to find out by going down to the med school morgue and accidentally opening the wrong door.
Wufei had never believed in that sort of thing; the concept of fate. He had always said that a warrior creates his own path. Trowa could believe that. The war against OZ and then Mariemaia...those had been the most trying for him and he had triumphed in the end.
He looked over at Naomi who had tears in her eyes. He had been a good friend to her as well, giving her help when she needed it desperately and he hadn't even known her back then.
'I miss him already too.' she mouthed to him, making his throat stick.
She always could read his face sometimes; her and Wufei. Looking up at Odelle he saw it etched in her face already, maybe it had been there faintly before, but it was clear as day now; the loneliness. The heart wrenching loneliness; she had just lost her soulmate; and she wasn't even thirty.
'Wufei..you always told me how you cherished her laughter. I'll try to make her happy...make her laugh for you one last time.'
NO MORE DRAMA
~*~
Hannah looked up at the sky. It was blue now, not a cloud in sight. Before it wouldn't stop raining; how fitting that there wouldn't be a cloud in the sky. He always said that the rain made him too cold. At least this was one thing he couldn't complain about. Even now, she remembered that one night when a brief spat of rebellion had rose up once more and she started bitching about it. Wufei had told to shut up, go outside and take a good look around; she'd see something worth fighting for. And she had seen what he was talking about. Of course when she came back in, he'd started grumbling and complaining right away.
Complain; how could he do that any more?
'Well of course he can't you dumbass.' She felt like smacking herself, but she knew the priest wouldn't be thrilled with any interruptions. What a callous thing to say any her friend was hurting as much as her.
Odelle never really showed her pain, but this was one of the few exceptions. Every line in her body spoke of sorrow, pain, regret, love, heartache, devotion...the thing that Wufei had seen and fallen for in her: her ability to feel and help him to feel.
That probably wasn't such a good thing now. The car accident had been almost two weeks ago and, she knew this was a bad thing to say but, Odelle had actually shut up for once in her life; she didn't even snore lightly. It was pure silence that enshrouded her now like a cloak.
She leaned in closer to Heero, wishing to help her friend somehow. She looked up at him, those prussian blue eyes finding hers.
'She'll cope in her own way. Give her time.' his eyes said before he hugged her even closer, remembering how he had almost lost her that night, that one terrifying night.
There was nothing that they could do to help Odelle now until she was ready to receive it.
'Odelle...I don't think you see what he's given you. When you're ready I'll help you to see it.
NO MORE DRAMA
~*~
Zechs looked at the priest, seeing the bright colours of the robe and the vibrant red of Odelle's dress outfit. Red...Wufei had liked that colour on her, the Christmas party when he could barely keep his hands off of her, fresh in his mind. Or that time after the incident with Johnny that he'd gotten into that live televised fight with the reporter who had made that lewd comment about her. Never would he forget the look of anger and intent on Wufei's face before he launched himself at the man. Odelle had tried to pull him off, but when it was all said and done, Zechs could see from her expression on the TV that she was proud of Wufei.
'You were a good man Wufei; a good man. You loved her and she loved and loves you very much.'
He twiddled with his fingers feeling a bit uncomfortable; his death made no sense. He was going to help Wufei pop the question to Odelle again.Wufei had wanted something simple, like a picnic in the backyard or a stroll down the beach; he recognized his mistake...he was going to show her hers.
'Damn it.'
They would have been so happy together, had a bunch of screaming kids that he and Phoebe would have looked after...life was supposed to turn out good, not to spiral down into the hell it had been for the past month. So much had happened, he didn't know how they all made it through.
Feeling a soft touch on his hand, he looked down to see Phoebe's hand in his, clasping it lightly. She gave him a tiny sad smile before she leaned against him and he wrapped his arm around her shoulder.
'We've all been through so much, suffered so much. I hope and I pray that this is the end of it all; for all of our sakes. I truly hope so.' With a sigh he rested his chin on top of Phoebe's head before he closed his eyes in sadness. It sounded like the priest was almost done.
'For all our sakes.'
NO MORE DRAMA
~*~
Standing like a rock, Odelle watched the coffin lower into the ground slowly, feeling as if her heart, body and soul should be there in that coffin with Wufei. She hadn't been able to swallow her wounded pride and hurt to listen to him after that day. She never was good at doing that and now she cursed it as the coffin went lower and lower into the ground. Then came the thud, making everything stop to her. It was all a whirlish blur as she let a handful of dirt fall from her hand on top of his coffin, the priest saying the final few words. Her hand fell back down to her side limply as the rest of the funeral was completed.
The murmurs of her friends reached her faintly; she knew they meant well and were probably even worried by her behavior; she certainly had been talking less...
'That must make Hannah happy.' The weird abstraction floated through her mind. 'Not having me prattle away...awake or asleep.'
Now she could hear them all walking away; they were going to Zechs condominium for the memorial service...well the guys' quiet voices at least were moving away.
"Odelle?" came Elizabeth's gentle voice. "Are you going to come with us now?"
She didn't answer, looking dumbly at his gravestone. It was a shiny new black...he would have liked it, preferring something along the lines of his family colours though.
"Do you want to stay here for a bit?" Hannah asked resting a hand on her shoulder.
Still she didn't reply.
"We're heading to Zechs' afterwards." Phoebe said.
"Phoebe! She knows that already! Don't be such a dumbass!" Naomi hissed.
Even that failed to get a response from her. She just stood there like a rock.
Eventually her friends disappeared from view, leaving her alone with the gravestone and the hole in the ground. Like hell she was leaving; those words she had said on the battlefield during the small uprising echoed across her mind punctuated by the explosion of missiles around them.
'Damn you onna! Why didn't you just listen to me and stay put at home like I told you too, huh?! What would I have done if you had died?! What would I tell your friends?! What would I do!?'
'And why don't you listen to me Wufei?!I mean it; when you go, I will follow you into battle. I will not sit around like some trophy while you fight and risk your life! If I can fight for peace, for us, I will! Wufei, I would follow you to the ends of the Earth if I had to. Where you go, I follow!'
The gravediggers came now, filling up the hole with the dirt that was burying her beloved forever in the cold earth. Soon enough the last shovelful of dirt was patted down before the diggers walked away. Tears came to her eyes, even as she tried to hold them back. She had already dishonored him once...would she further do so by weeping openly in public?
But her tears started to come more evenly. She gave a little half choked sob before she fell to her knees with a cry on to the fresh dirt, holding her face in her hands.
He was gone and he was never coming back. Never again would she argue with him, laugh with him, hold him in her arms on the cold nights, make love to him...
'I shouldn't have run out that night. I should have stayed and listened; damn my fucking pride, look at what it has got me; a guy I had to dump and my love dead.'
If she had been there that night with him, she would have made sure he stayed in bed, fussed over him and gotten some mumblings in return. But he had had to drive himself and look at where he was now.
'It's all my fault. It's all my fault, it's all my fault that he's dead. I've paid for my betrayal. Oh sweet Nataku, it's all my fault! I loved you and let my pride separate us. Wufei, you always were too good to me, I don't deserve you and I don't deserve this life. I've done nothing with it except waste it, unlike you. You taught me of honour and to do what I felt to be the right thing in order to have something worthwhile in this world.'
Sniffling, she drew herself up reaching into her jacket pocket and taking out the gun. She looked at the barrel, running her fingers along the smooth surface.
'But now I am nothing. I don't have you...I don't deserve you, I have not a single shred of my honour...I have nothing left. I have nothing to lose and nothing to live for.'
Now she could hear her friends' voices coming close now; she had better get this done and over with.
"Odelle are you done?" came Elizabeth's soft call.
Reaching into her jacket pocket again, she took out an envelope and placed it on Wufei's black gravestone. Her entire property would be taken care of by the contents of the envelope. Everything she owned would remind her of him, all just a painful reminder. It was better this way.
'White, purity, death.' She looked down at the envelope. 'How far I have fallen.'
"Odelle?" Elizabeth's voice sounded even closer now. "Odelle?"
'I should have told you when I had the chance my Dragon. Wo ai ni.' Slowly she raised the gun barrel to her head, cocking it.
"Odelle?! Odelle, no!" came Elizabeth's frantic yell followed by the sounds of her running scrambling feet. "Odelle don't do it! Odelle please, no!"
Her eyes fluttered shut as she squeezed the trigger, her last breath pushing faint words past her lips. "Wo ai ni, airen. Wo ai ni."
No more drama in my life
So tired, tired of these drama
~*~
~OWARI~
Note
Wo ai ni - Chinese for 'I love you'