Chapter - Bittersweet.
He left me. He told me he didnt wan't me anymore. I started walking in the direction which he headed in. I say walk when in reality I stumbled and fell every step I took ending up with grass stains encasing my clothes in a green blanket.
"Edward! Please. I love you. Edward please!" I tried to call out but it was barely a whisper. For almost the eighteenth time I fell but this time I just couldn't get back up. I couldnt get up I just couldn't. I let the tears overtake me then, I couldn't fight it any longer. I still couldn't get my head round this. It didn't make sence. Nothing was astray and Edward had been his over protective self. But the look on his face before made it very clear he had not intention of being with me forever anymore. I just wanted him to come back now telling me it was a mistake and he'd stay with me forever never leaving my side. Of course that wouldn't happen - he doesn't want me. I don't "belong" in his world. Maybe he is going to come back when I'm so much more older and visit me on my deathbed. He wants me to live a human life and forget him - one theory. I wasn't good enough for him - he needed a vampire. More realistic theory. Either way I'm still lost in this woods. Pitch black. Fucking brilliant. A strong wave of anger suddenly passed through me. I had to go to his former home see if he was hiding there from me. I will find my way there. I pushed myself up off the ground and continued stumbling and tripping but this time I was heading for the Cullen Mansion.
After at least two hours of crying, stumbling and gaining more grass stains on my clothes I arrived at the drive way. To my utter surprise a car was still there - one I hadn't seen before. I felt fear slowly creep into the back of my head. What if it's Victoria? What if she knew they'd gone and I'd come here? For as long as I have known the Cullens I have never once seen this car. I pushed aside the idea that Victoria was here and stepped up to the porch window which looked into the kitchen. It was empty - nothing as there and everything was spotless. I moved my eyes to the wide open front door. The Cullens would never leave their home wide open. I stepped through the door and felt a small smile grace my lips however my heart felt moment was shortened by the sound of a woman sobbing. I walked towards the living room and found a vampire dry sobbing. I took a step back wishing my legs would take me out the front door. They looked up at me. Esme! Esme was still here. Her face lit up like the sun and she was immediately hugging me and stroking my hair. My second mother was still here and still loves me. But. She'll be gone soon like the others. It wasn't until she was wiping my tears away did I realise my eyes were waterfalls. Her eyes wern't liquid honey and they were as black as the night but even now they still showed her motherly love and compassion.
"Bella." She whispered, looking me up and down. "I don't know what to do. Your my daughter and I can't leave you but Carlisle I do love him and the rest of my children. Bella, you must understand. Edward." It burned my mouth a little when she spoke his name. "Does loves you he doesn't want to go he wants to stay here with you and live with you here. Alice is forcing him to go though. She''s forcing all of us. She's seen something that is a danger to you if we were to stay, so we're going but we're not aloud to come back." She paused and looked as if she was in deep thought. "Oh Bella! Bella! I wish ever so much you could come with us dear. I have to leave soon but I must stay in contact with you. I can't loose you." She placed a small silver phone in my hand and wrapped my fingers around it while looking me in the eye. I put the phone in my pocket and sighed. At least I had Esme. She made me feel like everything is going to work out perfectly in the end.
"So Edward does love me?" Were the first words to leave my mouth. I immediately felt guilty and blushed. I'm proud though, my voice didn't break when saying his name. She nodded with a loving smile then she became a blur darting around the house.
I decided to head up to Edward's room. His name still not causing me pain. The stairs had lost the decorations which were symbols of the Cullen history and the photos had been taken with them too. I open the door to his room with my eyes squeezed shut. It was empty. Nothing was here everything was cleared out. His books, CD's and furniture. On a ledge by the window there was picture frame. I walked over and picked it up. In the wooden frame was a photo of Edward and I grinning at each other like chesire cats. I set the photo back down and went into his walk in wardrobe. His clothes and been taken with him and replaced with clothes that I have worn, bought for me by Alice. Each rail on both sides were stocked with clothes I had worn and most of them I had never seen. Shoes, bags. Everything a dream shopaholic would want. All in here. But why? Why keep those here?
"Edward couldn't bare to take all of this with him. It would drive him mad with your scent." Esme's voice startled me but she continued talking whilest settling the large empty boxes on the floor. "We're not supposed to come back so him having clothes covered in it wouldn't help him. He took a photo of you and a blue blouse you wore at your first date. I suppose I shouldn't tell you this but I think it will help you. Knowing he loves you back and is in the same position as you dear. Alice would scold me if I didn't give you these clothes to take home. Now Bella, you start packing these clothes and I'll gather some other items that you should need." She flitted out the room and was soon darting around the place. I began at the back being quick yet careful. I couldn't crumple these clothes that are worth more then enough. Esme was right it does help to know he's hurting too, knowing he doesn't like this distance either. I walked back to collect the photo and placed it in the final box then shut the lid.
Esme came in and packed the boxes in the car flitting up and down. Even when moving so fast I couldn't see her, I could tell she was smiling. I made my way to the car outside. Well at closer inspection it was bigger then a Jeep and to me - that was pretty massive. Esme noticed my expression and grinned.
"It's not my car. It's Emmett's dear. I would much rather have something that didn't prefer going offroad. Nether the less, no one will know it's me and that what this is meant to achieve." She stopped and turned to look at the house. She looked heartbroken but smiled. "I built this house from scratch. No other house I have made has felt like a home to me. I don't think I want to say goodbye to Forks completely Bella. This is my home now." She looked down at her shoes before gracefully sliding into the not so elegant car.
"Don't worry dear, I follow the speed limit." Esme reasurred me and pulled out of the drive. The expression on her face looked as if she was in alot of pain. I have never met someone who could compose themselves so quickly. She was the ideal role model for what girls my age should aspire to be - perfect wife, perfect mother, perfect friend. She really was this wonderful woman and now she was reaching out to me, making me like I really was wanted when everyone who I loved had just left. One question however was etching it's self into my head.
"What's going to happen?" Esme sucked in an un needed breath and I felt immediately guilty. Esme sensed this and smiled warmly at me.
"I'm going to Carlisle and we're going to London for a change of scenery. The rest of family will be heading up to Alaska to be with our extended family. Well everyone expect Edward." Her smile was replaced with a sad frown. "He can't be around anyone. He hates Alice now but I hope he forgives her for this. Bella dear. You're going to stay here and finish High School. You'll meet a handsome man and have the wonderful life I have always wished for you. I'll call you every week and visit every so often. If I am able to tell Carlisle that I'm staying in contact with you he will come visit you with me. You can contact me in an emergency. Your family loves you Bella." She smiled warmly then pulled up outside my house. Charlie's cruiser wan't there. "He's at Harry's. I told him you were at our leaving party whilest you packed the clothes away."
She was suddenly not even in the car and flitted in and out of my house putting the boxes inside. I got out of the car but she was done already. I could never get used to the vampire speed and grace. I couldn't hold in the tears any longer and I let them flood my eyes. Esme pulled me in for a motherly hug and began stroking my hair. "Bella. I love you. Please look after yourself. For me. For everyone. Here are the keys to my car. No arguements dear, your truck will break soon so this car has come in handy. Also here are the keys to the house. I want you to live there with your handsome man." She winked and I put the set of keys she had given me in my pocket. She looked me deep in the eyes and I could see the internal debate she was having with herself. She sighed and pulled me in for another hug. "See you soon Bella" She kissed my hair and she was gone. I felt my knees buckle slightly so I locked the car and got into the house as soon as possible before my legs gave way. I'm okay. I didn't feel like I was going to break down. I felt... stronger. I felt like even though they're not here I'll always be connected to the Cullens. I headed up to my room deciding to start packing everything away but to my surprise Esme had already hung all the clothes up and placed all the shoes on the shoe rack Alice bought me for my birthday. I looked over to my desk and raised an eyebrow at the new laptop sitting prompt looking out of place on my old wood desk. I noticed there was a sticky note placed on top of it.
Bella.
I thought you would like mine and Jasper's emails.
I've added them to your email address book.
Much love.
I don't understand why she would give me Jasper's email. Why would I want? We were never close because of diet and we tended to keep our distance. I know he felt guilty about what happened at my birthday but it really wasn't his fault. Edward was the one who was stupid enough to throw me into a glass table with glass vases on top of it. Regardless. It was a mistake, and no one should dwell on it. Mistakes are made so we could progress as people. Even vampires, they may be set in their ways but they still learn. No body is perfect. I contemplated that thought for a moment. Vampires at a first glance do look indeed perfect but when your around them for so long you start to see their complexity and their human like qualities. Of course this only applied to the Cullens. I'm sure nomadic vampires like James enjoyed not having human weakness. I looked down at the scar on my wrist and sighed. This will be hard, there is defiantly no denying it but at least Esme and maybe Carlisle. I won't have to miss all my family. There was no pain... yet. I was skeptical of when it would make it's entrance. I noticed the photo of Edward and I had been placed by my bed and another one, one I hadn't put in one of the boxes. It was a photo of the whole family smiling away. These two photos reflected this situation extremely well. It was bittersweet. The keys Esme had given me were now digging into my leg so I put them next to the photo of Edward and I. I took the phone out of my other pocket and noticed I had a message from Esme:
I hope your in bed now Bella. I would hate for you not to get sleep.
Keep safe, I love you. XX
I smiled and placed the phone on my pillow. I remembered that I was encased in grass stains and moss. I felt disgusted so I hopped in the shower. I tied my hair in a bun and put on of the nighties Esme had given me. It was green which was rare. Alice only dressed me in blue. Weird. I shrugged and crawled into bed and before I knew it my body succumbed to sleep.
"Edward!" I called out in fear. A blonde haired red eyed monster - well vampire was making their way towards me smiling warmly. I kept stepping backwards untill my back was against a wall. I was in some kind of cream marble throne room. I surveyed the people in the room who were wearing cloaks making it very obvious that they were vampires as the light was streaming through the glass roof. I looked around the room and finally found Edward who was reaching out to me but was being held back by two very bulky looking vampires. I screamed his name again which made the red eyed monster growl. He was now face to face with me and his scent was oh so intoxicating. I noticed from the corner of my eye Edward was being ripped limb from limb. I felt the tears spill over my cheeks. The monster looked heartbroken - as if it was brother being killed. Seconds later he had his arms wrapped around my waist and his face buried in my hair.
I jolted up and shook my head. "Fucking hell. That was just pure creepiness." I muttered and fell back asleep.
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