Author note- this is my first attempt at a Mentalist fanfic, I've been watching the show a lot recently and this wouldn't leave me alone, so here it is.
"Jane, what the hell did you think you were doing in there earlier?" Lisbon's tone was unmistakably angry, and the hand gestures that accompanied her words were less than friendly, lots of poking fingers at her consultant, who looked no less than happy. If the bullpen wasn't empty at the late hour and her door wasn't closed then she would have been seriously worried about how loud she was being, but no one could hear her except him, and her anger was aimed at him anyway, so it didn't really matter.
"Well, Agent Lisbon, I was under the impression that I was getting you information that would help you catch a man who has killed 3 teenage girls in the past week."
He was unflappable and she knew it, but this was a new step even for him. He genuinely thought he hadn't done anything wrong.
"Did you have to traumatise the witness to do it? I mean look at her, she was barely holding herself together before, and you just made her relive her friend being murdered in front of her using techniques that are not only immoral and an invasion of privacy but actually illegal. Illegal, Jane! I could get fired if anyone finds out what you just did in there. Fired, Jane!" she hissed, her voice growing louder as she went on.
She would often repeat herself like this when she got upset, and Jane remained calm throughout her outburst, keeping a neutral expression that neither added to nor reduced her anger. When she got angry like this she could be unpredictable, even in the face of his mental prowess, so neutrality was nearly always the best choice.
But not today. His neutrality seemed to anger her even more, stoking the flames of her fury, and she shoved an accusatory finger at him before continuing with her rant.
"Don't you ever think about anyone but yourself Jane? I mean, do you even consider what consequences your actions might have on other people?" she was just getting angrier with every second as he remained stoically silent, and his refusal to answer her questions stoked her into a full blown fury.
"Seriously Jane, do you ever think about me, about how many times I've put my neck on the line for you, about how much I have risked for you?"
He still refused to answer, his face an impassable mask of cold silence.
Wrong move.
"You don't ever think about me at all, do you Jane?" now her words had taken on a desperate quality, and he could tell that his answer would now mean more to her than just an end to this argument. Lisbon wasn't just asking if he didn't care about her in a professional way, she genuinely thought he didn't care about her at all. His carefully maintained mask slipped, and something inside him snapped.
"You're the last thing on my mind before I go to sleep and the first thing I think about when I wake up. I dream about you for god's sake! So no, I don't ever think about you, I always think about you, more than anyone else in the last ten years. Happy now?"
It rushed out in a wave of withheld feelings whose restraints had snapped with her words, and he had said it all before he had the chance to think about it, before he had the chance to consider the possibly catastrophic consequences to their partnership if she didn't feel the same way, which he was pretty sure she didn't.
Lisbon stopped dead, whatever witty comeback she had been considering dying on her lips. Patrick Jane, the bane of her existence, had just admitted that he cared about her. He cared about her more than anyone else, and not just in a professional capacity. Wow.
She stood in silence for several moments, a look of shock on her face as she tried to process what he had just said, a million questions swirling in her mind.
The only response she managed to come up with was "Oh"
Jane, completely unaware of the debate raging in Lisbon's mind, took her silence to mean that she was trying to find the words to let him down easily, and her shocked expression did nothing to quell his fear. So thinking of damage control he spoke before she did, forcing his voice to remain level when all he wanted to do was get up to his loft and cry or hit something, maybe smash a fist through a wall. Most of all he just wanted to be alone with his thoughts. But if he wanted to make it to the loft he would first have to get past the still frozen Lisbon, and explain where he was going. So he said "Look I didn't expect you to feel the same, I just didn't want you to feel like I didn't care about you, because I do, so much it actually scares me" Damage control Patrick, don't make this any harder than it already is. He took a deep breath and rushed through the rest of what he had to say, not pausing to give her, or him, time to think.
"What I'm trying to say is don't feel like you have to do anything about what I've said, right now I'm going to go sit in the loft and try to forget this ever happened, which I'm guessing is what you're going to do to." he walked rapidly past her to her office door, hoping to reach the loft or at least be out of her sight before the tears her rejection had inspired could spill from his eyes. He hadn't been that upset and disheartened in nine years.
As he walked away from her he barely heard her whisper "What if I don't want to forget?"
His words had spurred her into action, his assessment that it was impossible she felt the same forcing her to say something. So she had just said the first thing that popped into her head, keeping it quiet so that he could ignore it if he chose to.
He didn't ignore it.
The tall consultant spun in his heels until he faced her, and took long purposeful strides forwards until he was stood one pace away from the agent.
"What did you say?" The feelings her words had inspired washed over him, and he couldn't keep the hope she had inspired from exploding onto his face, stretching his mouth into a smile wider than any Lisbon had seen since she had known him, and his blue eyes were infused with brightness as he stared down into her face.
"Maybe I don't want to forget." She said it clearly this time, her blue eyes lifting up to meet the gaze of his vibrant blue.
"Why wouldn't you want to forget, my dear Lisbon?" The hope in his smile and eyes had now spread through his entire body, and he was staring at her with the quiet adoration he always did, though he didn't try to hide the emotion in his eyes as she gazed into him, and she realised that she had been painfully oblivious to his feelings for her for at least a year, maybe two, quietly ignoring the blatant affection that he barely hid behind his solid mask. It seemed as though the entire time she had been harbouring, and repressing, feelings for him he had been doing the same for her and the revelation that she had finally got a chance with him caused a massive grin to erupt on her face, a twin to the one Jane wore.
"Because if I forgot what you had said then I wouldn't remember that I can do this."
With that she launched herself up at him, grabbing his shirt's collar for leverage as she crashed her lips against his, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck and pulling her flush against his body at the same time. They both groaned at the feeling of years of unresolved tension finally coming to fruition, and when he moved to back her into the couch behind her she made no move to object, instead pulling him further into her as he pivoted them around and pulled her down into his lap on the couch.
He kissed everywhere he could reach, exploring the skin around her neck and shoulders as she did the same to him. Every time he moved she did the same movement in the same moment. After all these years it seemed like they were finally on the same page.
Then Lisbon pulled back, placing a hand on Jane's chest to still him as she drew back. He whimpered in protest, his sad eyes boring into her as she leaned away from him.
"Jane are you sure that this is what you want? I mean absolutely sure that this is what you want for longer than tonight or this week?" She needed to know that he meant what he had said, that this was not going to be a one-time thing that was brushed under the rug in the morning, their dirty little secret.
She cared about him too much for that. She would rather never have him than have him once and that be it. That way she would have actual experiences to draw from, which would make it even more difficult to pull back. No, if he wanted this he had to want it for a while.
He did want it for more than a while.
"Lisbon, I want this, hell I want YOU, for more than this night or this week. I want this for as long as you are willing to give it to me. I want this, and you, more than anything else in the world."
His confirmation of his feelings again brought a smile to Lisbon's face, and she stepped back from him and went to get her coat.
"If you really do want this Jane than you better go get your coat."
He raised an eyebrow at her in the way that he did when he got confused, a habit that she used to think was annoying but now considered one of his most adorable features.
"Well Jane, you said you dream about me, and I certainly dream about you, and I want to see if the reality matches up to my fantasies. Most of which do not involve the couch in my office. Let's go to my place, where there's a warm, big, comfy bed with a wrought iron headboard. We might need that, if you're up for it."
He never moved so fast in his life.