-1Severus Snape trudged along the old dirt road feeling as if his legs were made of lead. If there was anyone there to see him they would've witnessed a dark-haired man who was heavily cloaked with his head bent, walking with an undeterrable determination, though the progress was painstakingly slow. And if anyone would've gotten close enough to se his face, they would have seen tears of self-loathing sliding slowly down his sallow, haggard cheeks.
As he walked a low rumble sounded overhead and the sky opened up upon him.
Even the skies weep for her… he thought. I could have saved her…I was a coward and a fool for telling the Dark Lord of the prophecy…I was stupid to think he would spare her… I hate myself for letting her go…I hate myself for making her hate me…I hate him for loving her…and her for loving him…
He clenched his fists as he turned into a child's playground. It was saddened with age, and the swings hung limp in the torrents of rain, but still he dragged his feet toward the center one.
Shaking he fell to his knees and whispered, "Lily…please forgive me…"
And so with only the skies as his witness he lamented the death of the only person in this world or the next that he could possibly have loved.
She gave him faith, when he refused to believe, comfort when his world shattered, and humility when he refused to be humbled.
"Lily…why did you leave me here…"
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10 years later…
"Severus, I know what you want to believe, and what you want to feel but, the boy is more like Lily than you could ever imagine."
Snape sniffed and turned his attention back to the cauldron of Veritaserum, that he was preparing for the ministry. Yes it was true that he loathed the boy that had no right to bear Lily's eyes…not on his face…
He was a reminder of the love that never was and never could be, and never was.
"Albus, I promised you anything for her safety, and yet they trusted the wrong person, and she was killed for his sake, I cannot help my feelings toward the little hell-raiser."
"Severus…"
"But I will mask them if it is what you wish…"
"Well though many have tried I can't remember a single person that has managed to change another's emotion, so if that is the best you can manage than so be it."
He did not look up from the cauldron as the tall, midnight-blue robed old man swept out of the room for he knew that he did not have the courage to face him.
That accursed Boy Who Lived…
It is not you who deserved to live…