Title: They Knew
Author: Ashnan Etana
Summary: Jean and Logan pay for their mistake.
Disclaimer: I don't own them. If I did… sigh …makes my skin tingle just thinking about it.
Rating: PG-13, for implied sexual situations.
Feedback: Si me amatis, debetis me laudare!Yes, please. It always helps to know what others think, even if it's bad. But be supportive; don't flame just to be cruel. All flames will be used for BBQ. Oh, how I love BBQ ribs.
Author's Note: A combination (or will be) of Movie verse, comic verse and AU.
They Knew
Jean and Logan had been sent on a routine mission. It was so simple. Find the young mutant that Xavier had seen; offer him a safe place at the mansion, among other mutants who were like him.
It was so simple. Yet that mission had changed the world as they knew it. They had arrived early, a good two hours early. As they waited for the teen to return to his home, they made a mistake. There in the blackbird, a second home to the team, they took their flirtation too far.
After, they were disgusted with themselves. It had been a mistake. They knew it immediately. They may not have had sex, but the touches had been enough to be a betrayal. They knew it would never happen again, that it shouldn't have ever happened.
Marie
She knew. She knew when he didn't say it. She and Logan had a ritual, a little lover's game they played. Whenever one of them went on a mission, regardless of how mundane it was, they always met each other in the hanger. She would look into Logan's eyes and say "I missed you." Logan would kiss her and say "Missed you too."
Nothing worthy of a great romantic tale, but it was their ritual. This time, he broke it. He had taken her into his arms and held her tightly against him. He buried his face in her hair and inhaled her sent. He groaned into her ear, "I love you, Marie. God, how I love you!"
In that moment, in something so small, she knew.
Scott
He knew. Jean had come home from a routine mission and debriefed as usual. Everything was normal. Not a hint of anything being different. Not until that night.
He and Jean made love that night. Contrary to popular belief, their passion was not always gentle and slow. They liked to be rough, dirty and sweaty as much as any other couple. But that night, Jean wanted to make love. It was soft and beautiful. Normally, when they lay together, spent physically, Jean would open the connection and they would show each other mentally just how much their love meant. That night she didn't open the connection.
In that moment, in something so small, he knew.
Breakfast.
The next morning, everyone shared breakfast as if nothing had happened. No one around them saw anything out of the ordinary. But if they had looked hard enough, it was there. Logan and Jean never let their eyes so much as stray toward the other. The two couples sat together. Logan focused on his breakfast, occasionally grunting when the conversation called for a response. Jean focused her attention anywhere but at Logan. She chatted with Storm and Xavier. She smiled, if just a little too brightly, at those around her. No one around them noticed.
Scott and Marie noticed. At some point during the meal, Scott's eyes met Marie's. In that fleeting moment, each knew that the other knew. Knew that things had changed.
A Week Later.
A week later, Jean and Logan were again sent on a routine mission. Marie and Scott were left at the mansion to deal with their unspoken heartache and doubts. .
Scott was wandering around the mansion, letting his demons free reign inside his head. He entered the rec room and saw Marie. She was curled up in the corner of the sofa, a blanket wrapped tightly around her shoulders, starring blankly at a movie playing on the television.
Scott sat next to her. Neither spoke. They sat together in silence and misery. After a few minutes, Marie leaned into Scott and started to cry; hard, deep, gut-wrenching sobs. Scott gently stroked her hair, tears running down his cheeks. When the sobs subsided and the tears ceased to flow, Marie leaned back and looked up at Scott, and a decision was made. They knew. They both knew they couldn't actually bring themselves to carry out the act, but they could make their spouses believe they had.
Logan
He knew. Marie had met him in the hanger. They had performed their ritual as usual. Everything was right in his world. He hadn't messed up this time, hadn't had any desire to. He was relieved to know that everything was going to be fine.
He and Marie were going to be just fine.
As soon as he stepped into their room, he knew. He knew that everything was very wrong. He could smell it. Smell Marie, Scott and Sex. His eyes snapped to hers. He saw in them everything he feared he'd see. Things had changed. He felt real fear. He knew it was his fault. His fault that her eyes held that look of pain and anger. He just didn't know the truth. That Marie had spent hours in the bed Scott and Jean shared, by herself, making sure to carry that smell to the bed she shared with Logan. That she had washed the sent off herself as soon as she could.
She waited for Logan to rage at her. But he didn't, he couldn't bring himself to. He was dealing with his own pain. The pain he felt he deserved. He loved her so much, he was sure they could get past this. He would deal with it tomorrow, when he could think somewhat more rationally; Marie deserved that much. For now, he'd carry on as if nothing was wrong.
In hind sight, that was his biggest mistake. She had wanted a confrontation. He'd made her feel that he didn't care enough to bother. He'd pushed her away unknowingly.
Jean
She knew. They'd debriefed as always. She and Scott had returned to their room. Scott had wanted it rough that night, untamed. It had been wonderful. As she lay beside him, basking in his love, she opened the connection. That's when she knew. Instead of seeing his love for her, he projected another image. The image of Marie, in the same position Jean had been in only moments before. Scott behind her, his hands tangled in the brown hair with white streaks, unmistakable even through the red haze that clouded all his images.
Her eyes snapped to his. She saw in them everything she feared she'd see. Things had changed. She felt real fear. She knew it was her fault. Her fault that his eyes held that look of pain and anger. She just didn't know that he'd projected the image he wanted her to see. The image he'd wanted her to lash out at him for.
Jean had rolled over and feigned sleep. She'd find a way to deal with the pain, both hers and his, tomorrow. She loved Scott, and she knew that he loved her. They could get past this.
In hind sight, that was her biggest mistake. He had wanted a confrontation. She'd made him feel that she didn't care enough to bother. She'd pushed him away unknowingly.
Gone.
The next morning, they sat alone at breakfast. Scott and Marie's chairs were empty. An emptiness that extended into the souls of those left behind. Jean and Logan's gazes only met once. Each looked at the other with guilt and hatred. They blamed each other; they blamed themselves. They just couldn't bring themselves to blame them for leaving. Because they thought they knew.