I'm sorry...no im not

It was three o'clock in the afternoon on a Wednesday. Skye sat alone in the lounge area of the playground, on her laptop. Just like every day for the past week, Skye silently hacked her way into security cameras at the one SHIELD prison they had managed to take from Hydra and use, which was conveniently right next to the playground. She told Coulson it was so that she could make sure Hydra didn't come back, but they both knew it was for a different reason. She wanted to see Grant.

After a lot of thinking on her part, what Grant was telling them, and a couple readings of his file, she was starting to have doubts about having him locked in prison for the rest of his life. She had learned that he wasn't lying about his brothers, or his parents, really he didn't lie about anything in his past. He just didn't mention certain points to her, points that may or may not have had to do with John Garrett.

Eventually in interrogation he spilled everything. From the few Hydra plans he knew about, to how he met Garrett. Skye had heard all of it, and had nearly used a whole box of tissues while listening. Ever since then, she made a point to check in on him every day at the exact same time. Just to make sure he was okay, and that no one was hurting him. It was always the same situation, she hacked into the security camera in his cell, watched him pace around, sleep, or cry, she would cry a little, take one last glance at him, then shut off the computer.

However, as she hacked into the camera on this day, he wasn't in his room.

'That's odd…' She thought to herself as she stared at the footage for a moment, seeing if he came back 'His breaks aren't scheduled for this time…'

After looking at the screen for just a second more, she switched to the camera in the prison cafeteria and scanned the crowd gathering there for late lunch. He wasn't there either.

'Okay there is one other place you could be…' Skye thought again before switching the camera to the court yard and scanning that crowd too. 'What?' she thought when she didn't see him. 'Where are you Grant?'

Quickly she flipped back over to his cell, he still wasn't there. Getting more than a little bit worried she started flipping through all the cameras the large prison had. She gasped a little as she found him on one of the cameras. Looking back one last time and making sure it was him, she ran to get Coulson.

Grant Ward hated life. He'd always hated life but now, he really hated life. He'd lost everyone and everything that he had ever cared for. He was a terrible human being, a monster. He had lost his brothers and sister years ago, he had now lost John, and the ones that hurt the most was the team. The team he betrayed for some man that didn't give a damn about him. The team that he had slowly learned to love. And the one team member that he really truly did love. But that didn't matter. They all hated him now. He didn't even know if FitzSimmons were still alive, or how anyone was doing. Nobody would tell him.

Right now he just knew he couldn't live like this much longer. He couldn't live hating life every second of every day. He just couldn't. So, he made a plan.

He got a bathroom break every hour, and if he didn't have to use the bathroom, sometimes they were nice and would let him go into the cafeteria or the courtyard with the other inmates. He hoped today they would be nice.

To his relief, they were. They let him out of his cell, and led him towards the stair case with a nod and telling him that he knows how to get there.

Grant definitely knew how to get there. You just went down the stairs and took a right. But as he stood at the landing between floors, he made his mind. And with a sigh, he started going up, and up and up, until he got to the door of the roof. With shaking hands, he turned the door knob and walked outside into the bright sun and the fresh air.

He took a moment to turn and look around him, taking in the sights of forest from every turn. He noted how the birds sang, and how the squirrels hopped, and he sighed again. Taking one last glance, he walked over to the end of the rooftop, and stood up to the ledge.

He closed his eyes and breathed in for a moment, letting all the good and bad memories come back to him.

'You're weak Grant! Weak!' he heard Johns voice yell.

'You're to go into Coulsons team and gather information. But you cannot get attached to anyone. Understood?' he heard Johns voice again, a little bit softer, but still firm and demanding.

'You seem nervous, Agent Ward' Skyes voice filled his head next. Of course Skyes voice would come back into his mind.

'She's such an ass- wait asset?' His own voice filtered through and the memories kept coming.

'She'll need a supervising officer…' 'Alright. I'll do it.'

'How can you run, if you're curled up in a ball?'

'I am trying to protect you.'

'I believe her, sir'

'I'm Agent Grant Ward, and I just jumped out of a plane without a parachute on and saved your life' 'actually it's a bit more nasally…'

'Say it Ward. Say it.' 'You sunk my battleship.'

'Wow! A compliment and a smile!'

'Please don't die.'

'I'm shadowing my supervising officer'

'You know where I live'

'I've seen first hand what you can do…'

'I'm not blaming myself'

'We're her family…"

'You were brave'

'It was to protect HER.'

'You thought he was going to…' 'To hurt you!'

'Yes, when we make it out of this, let's have a drink.'

'You said you might die, so what the hell.'

'We have to start somewhere…'

'I'm not a good man Skye.' 'Yes you are…'

'Hail Hydra.'

He wasn't surprised when all his memories started surrounding around Skye. He was however surprised when he thought he had heard her voice coming from behind him. Too bad he wasn't hallucinating.

"Grant…" Skye began walking carefully towards him. "Grant get down from there. We're fifteen stories up, you're going to die if you fall."

"That's the point." He replied numbly back, hearing Skye gasp a little in shock.

"No, Grant trust me! You don't want to do this!" Skye pleaded with him.

"Yeah I do."

"No you don't! Grant? Please. For me?" Skye started sniffling a little as she kept a close watch on Grant.

"Yeah I do." He repeated "Everyone hates me."

"I don't hate you! Please Grant get down from there!" Skye started yelling through tears that had begun to fall down.

"Yeah you do. You hate me the most out of all of them." He mumbled, barely loud enough for Skye to hear. But she did.

"Grant, No! I don't hate you! Now please, get down and come here!" Skye yelled at him with as much force as she could muster.

"Well you should hate me. I-I'm a monster."

"I'm not going to lie Grant, you did some shitty things that are unforgivable but I can not hate you. Ever. So please just come here!" Skye started sobbing as he stood even closer to the edge. Only letting up a little as she heard Coulson run up behind her.

"Grant? Please we want to help you!" Coulson began pleading with him.

"I'm beyond the point of help." Grant turned around on the edge so that he was now facing them. He had tears running down his face as he looked down at Coulson then at Skye, who was crying just as much as he was.

"No you're not Grant! Please just come here!" Coulson kept going as Skye looked like she was unable to talk.

Grant closed his eyes and drowned out the yelling from his former commanding officer. He started imagining a life that could've been. Him and Skye would've lived happily ever after, they would have a house, with a big backyard and a dog, a smart loyal dog just like Buddy. They would have the whole team over for barbeques during the summer, and during the winter they would set up a Christmas tree and watch sappy movies, and play in the snow. Then a little later down the line there would be two little kids, looking up at him and calling him 'daddy' while he read them a bedtime story and Skye stood in the door way smiling.

That was a life Grant Ward had always dreamed of. That was a life Grant Ward would never get.

He opened his eyes again and looked at Coulson.

"I'm sorry…" He whispered at him.

"Grant…" Coulson warned as he took a step closer to him.

Then he looked at Skye, he looked at her and his heart skipped a beat, he looked at her and he felt as if the world had stopped spinning. He had one more chance.

"I love you."

That was the last thing Grant said, as he took a step backwards, and started falling. He closed his eyes, pretending he didn't just hear the shout and the pain filled scream filling the air, and he waited, waited for a peace that he would finally be getting, after all those years of pain and suffering. and for once, he got what he wanted.