Rating: PG13
This story take place in Season 6. Joey is living by himself and working at Central Perk, Rachel is living with Phoebe,
and Chandler and Monica are living together.
INTRODUCTION
Central Perk - Everyone is there except Chandler. The girls are on the couch. Rachel, Phoebe, and Monica, respectively. Ross is sitting in the chair to the right of Monica. Joey is standing next to Ross with his menu pad.
RACHEL: So Mon, when is Chandler coming back from his business trip?
MONICA: He'll be back tomorrow. (pause) He's been gone for almost a week. (pause in thought) I didn't realize I could miss him this much. (Phoebe gives Monica a look of disbelief.)
PHOEBE(giggle): Yeah, I mean it's Chandler!
MONICA (Monica response angrily): What is that suppose to mean? That's it Phoe! You've been making snide remarks about Chandler ever since you've known him and more since we started dating! Go ahead, spit it out! What is it about him that you don't like? (Without giving Phoebe a chance to talk.) He's a great guy! He's sweet, he's funny, he's smart, he's ....
PHOEBE: Okay, okay, I get it! Whoa, boy are you cranky without your Chandler fix. (Monica's mood change to apologetic.)
MONICA (apologetic): I'm sorry Phoebe, I guess it's because I miss (Phoebe finishes her sentence.)
PHOEBE (sarcastic): Chandler. (with a mischievous smile) Maybe, I should try to get to know him better, spend more "QUALITY" time with him, maybe then, I'll see what you see(Monica gives Phoebe a jealous look and Phoebe rethink her teasing) ... And then again, maybe not.
PHOEBE (turns to Rachel and whisper): All this fuss over C.B., (with a look of revelation) It's probably P.M.S. and just being Monica.
ROSS: Look Mon, just keep yourself busy, then you won't miss him so much.
MONICA: Good idea Ross! How about you guys come over tonight and I'll cook a special dinner, we can play games and have a sleepover. It'll be fun.
ROSS (whisper to Joey): She ignore us for months, and now she wants us.
RACHEL: Actually, I can't tonight. I have a date.
MONICA (grabbing Rachel's hand): Rach, please come, it won't be any fun without you.
RACHEL: Okay, (pull her hand back and start rubbing it, as if in pain.) I'll come, (whisper to Phoebe) it was just a male model anyway. (Phoebe gives a knowing look then turn around and mouth quietly to Monica and Ross, "liar".)
JOEY (putting his hand out): I've got rehearsal tonight.
MONICA (patting Joey's hand): You have a good time there, Joey.
SCENE: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Ross and Rachel are sitting on the sofa, Phoebe is on the barkalounger, and Monica's on the floor across from R&R. They are in a middle of a Monopoly game. Chandler comes in the door looking real cute in his business suit.
MONICA (jumping up): Sweetie you're home! (She runs over and gives Chandler a hug, it turns into a kiss which turns passionate).
ROSS: Hey guys! "BIG BROTHER" sitting over here!
PHOEBE: Yeah, get a room! Oh yeah, this is your room.
RACHEL: Awww. Just like in the romance novels, I wish someone would kiss me like that.
ROSS (teasing): Hey Rach, I'm available for some heavy smooching (making funny lip movements which Rachel finds disgusting).
RACHEL: No you're not, you're still married to me.(Chandler and Monica break apart).
MONICA: Sorry, I guess I just missed (everyone yells out "Chandler", Monica gets all embarrassed.)
CHANDLER: Wow, I should go on business trips more often.
ROSS: C'mon Mon, let's get back to the game.
MONICA: You know guys... I'm really kind of tired... let's say we quit the game and call it a night.
ROSS: Did you say quit the game? Oh my gosh! It's invasion of the body snatcher. So where did you hide the real Monica?
MONICA: Ross, I want to spend some time with Chandler.
ROSS: Oh no you don't, I'm winning over here, I've got Boardwalk and Park Place.
PHOEBE: And, I've got all the railroads! C'mon Mon, you promise us a game and a sleepover.
RACHEL: Yeah and I broke a date to be here.
ROSS: It's your turn Mon.
CHANDLER: Go ahead and play, I have to go unpack anyway. (Chandler goes into the bedroom).
PHOEBE: Wow, Chandler must be tired. He didn't make fun of any of us. (Monica looks over to her bedroom door, she sits down and rows the dice. She moves her play piece and land on Rachel's square.)
MONICA: Wow, I'm afraid I don't have the money. Here Rach you can have everything I own. (Monica gives everything to Rachel) I guess I lose. (Monica gets up and walks over to her bedroom)
ROSS: Hey, that's not ... (Monica went into her bedroom and closes the door). fair!
RACHEL: Maybe, we should go home.
ROSS (conniving look): No, that is what she wants us to do. We can't let her win! (Rachel looks at Phoebe with a
disgusted look.)
SCENE: Chandler and Monica's Bedroom - Chandler's taking things out of his luggage. Monica walks into the bedroom and closes the door.
CHANDLER: That was a quick game, did everyone leave?
MONICA: No they're still here, I lost.
CHANDLER: You, MONICA, lost a game. I didn't think that was possible.
MONICA: Okay, I cheated.
CHANDLER: Wow, you really did miss me. (He pushes his luggage to the floor and his clothes falls all over. Monica looks at it and you can see her fighting the urge to clean it up. Chandler grabs her and they both land on the bed kissing.)
MONICA: I like it when you're aggressive. (They kiss each other passionately, it starts to get intense and then you hear in the background).
ROSS: Pay up Rach! You landed on Broadwalk!
RACHEL: Making your wife pay! What kind of man our you???!!!
ROSS: Just cough it up!
CHANDLER: I don't think this is going to work.
MONICA: We can go to your old bedroom. Joey's not home.
SCENE: Chandler's old Bedroom - Monica and Chandler are laying on the bed. Monica has her head on Chandler's shoulder. Monica has Chandler's shirt on and Chandler is wearing his t-shirt and shorts and of course his socks.
MONICA: I can't believe how much I've missed you while you were gone. I... (All of a sudden they hear the apartment door close and some talking, you can only hear muttering in the room).
MONICA (whisper to Chandler): Sounds like Joey's home.
CHANDLER (whisper): And he brought a friend. (You could hear giggling, laughing and Joey and his lady friend going right into Joey's room, making all kind of kissing noises.)
MONICA (whispering): Boy, he's fast.
CHANDLER (whispering): Faster than a speeding bullet. It's Super Lover Boy alias Joey Tribbiani!
MONICA (laughing quietly): Shhh! They might hear us. (It gets real quiet and they start hearing things too clearly.)
MONICA (whisper): Boy, these walls are super thin. Oh my gosh, that mean Joey can hear us when we're...
CHANDLER: Don't worry, we usually did it when he was asleep and he can't even hear a train go through his room when he's like that. They sit there for a few second.
MONICA: We really shouldn't be listening to this, let's go back to our apartment.
CHANDLER: Wait a minute, I recognize that groan. (Chandler sits there trying to figure out who it is).
MONICA: You can't tell who it is from a groan.
CHANDLER (smiles at Monica): Well groans ARE hard to distinguish, screams are easier to define, I can definitely tell (smile at Monica) your screams. They have a certain pitch. (Monica blushes and slap him, playfully. She is about to retort when Chandler whispers excitedly.)
CHANDLER: I got it! No, no, oh no. I can't believe Joey would do this ... It's Kathy!
MONICA: No way, Joey wouldn't go out with her again. (All of a sudden you hear on the other side of the wall.)
Yes, yes, oh yes CHANDLER!
MONICA and CHANDLER: Oh my gosh!
SCENE: Joey's Apartment the living room is empty. Monica comes out of Chandler's old bedroom with her shirt on and carrying the rest of her clothes in her hand.
MONICA (whispers back into the room): C'mon Chandler, before they come out.
CHANDLER (whisper back) : I can't find my pants. Monica walks across the room, when she hear noise coming from the other room, she ducks behind the kitchen counter. Joey comes walking out of his room in his robe followed by Kathy in a large t-shirt.
KATHY: I'm sorry Joey!
JOEY: I've had women call me all kinds of name, but Chandler! That hurts!
KATHY: I guess it's just being here, it brought back memories.
JOEY: But, it's been two years. Don't tell me you're still thinking about him? Are you still in love with him?
KATHY (embarrassed): Of course not... it's been two years. (Getting a sudden thought) Chandler isn't here is he?
JOEY: Well, I told you he's doesn't live here anymore, he's... (A sound comes from Chandler's old bedroom, as if something fell over.)
JOEY: What was that? (Joey and Kathy walks over and looks into Chandler's room, at the same time, Monica is sneaking out the front door. Joey turns on the light and sees Chandler trying to put on his pants.)
JOEY: Chandler, what are ...??? (Chandler finish putting his pant on act as if everything is normal. He walks discreetly pass Joey and Kathy.)
CHANDLER: Hey Joe, Kathy, sorry to interrupt you two, I lost my favorite pants and here they are in my old bedroom, well Monica's waiting for me. It was nice seeing you again Kathy. Bye bye then (While he is talking, he is making his way out the door).
JOEY: Hey, you moved out months ago...(Chandler is already gone. Chandler meets Monica in the hall, Monica is trying to straighten up her clothes).
CHANDLER: Well, that definitely WAS NOT a Kodak moment.
SCENE: Next morning, Chandler and Monica's apartment. Chandler and Monica are sitting at the breakfast table eating breakfast. Joey comes bursting through the front door.
JOEY: Okay, man. What were you doing in my apartment last night???!!!
MONICA: Sorry, Joey, I thought you would be gone all evening.
JOEY: You were there too! So, did you guys... umm ... hear anything (uncomfortable).
CHANDLER and MONICA (at the same time): No! No! (trying not to look at Joey.)
CHANDLER: The guys were over here, we just wanted some privacy. But, what were you doing with Kathy?
JOEY: She's my wife.
CHANDLER and MONICA (at the same time): What???!!!
JOEY: In the play. We went out for drinks after rehearsal and I don't know we just ended up at my apartment.
CHANDLER and MONICA (at the same time): So are you planning to see her again?
JOEY: Whoa, you two been together too much. (Chandler looks at Monica, she gives a hand signal for him to go ahead and talk.)
CHANDLER: Joey are you going out with her again?
JOEY: Yeah, she's fun to be with. Why? Does it bother you? I mean you have Monica.
CHANDLER: No, it just, you know strange.
MONICA: And, she might end up hurting you like she did before.
JOEY: I don't have feeling for her like that, we're just having fun.
MONICA: That may be true for you, but I think she still has feelings.
JOEY: What are you talking about? She dump me for Chandler.
MONICA (looking at Chandler): I think she still has feeling for Chandler. I think she wants him back.
CHANDLER: No way! (With his ego boosted he smiles.) Really! (see the frown on Monica's face, he changes his expression to serious) Really.
JOEY: You sure you guys didn't hear anything?
SCENE: Apartment Hallway. Kathy is leaning against Joey's door. Chandler comes up the stairs. He tries to be cordial to Kathy.
CHANDLER: Oh, hi there.. Kathy.
KATHY: Hi Chandler. I guess I'm early, Joey isn't here yet.
CHANDLER: Joey hasn't learn to tell time yet. (Chandler goes to open his apartment door)
KATHY: Chandler would it be okay if I came in?
CHANDLER: Wha...Why?
KATHY: I really need to use your bathroom.
CHANDLER: Sure, of course, who am I to refuse a call from nature. (Kathy walks into the apartment followed by Chandler. Monica is over by the stove cooking).
CHANDLER (feeling guilty): Oh hi honey, look who I bumped into, in the hallway.
MONICA: Oh hi Kathy. Joey told us you two were doing a play together. Did you come over to rehearse?
KATHY: Yeah, that and other things. Joey told me, you two are living together. I never would have thought you two... I mean you two are ... Anyway, can I use your bathroom?
MONICA: Sure, you know where it is. (Kathy walks into the bathroom, Chandler waits until she close the bathroom door and walks over to Monica).
CHANDLER: Sorry Mon, she wanted to use ... (Monica put her fingers on his lips)
MONICA: She always seem, to need, to go. (Monica leans in and kisses him, passionately. He kisses her back. He was going to stop but Monica keeps kissing him. After a few seconds, Kathy comes out of the bathroom and see them kissing).
KATHY: Sorry, to disturb you two. (Kathy walks out the front door and closes it).
CHANDLER: You did that on purpose.
MONICA: I wanted her to know that you are not available.
CHANDLER: You still think...
MONICA: She is, definitely, after you.
CHANDLER: Monica, you are so good for my ego.
SCENE: Central Perk another day Ross, Rachel, Phoebe are sitting there and Joey is working. Monica and Chandler comes walking in a little flustered.
PHOEBE: Hey guys, what's wrong?
MONICA: It's Kathy.
RACHEL: What about Kathy?
CHANDLER (embarrassed): Monica, thinks she still wants me. (Ross, Rachel, Phoebe starts giggling).
CHANDLER: Hey, stop that, I could be lovable. Monica tell them I'm lovable. (Which cause more fits of giggle from the gang.)
JOEY (walks over): Hey guys, what so funny?
PHOEBE: Monica, thinks Kathy is hot for Chandler's bod. (Phoebe starts laughing, some more).
JOEY: Oh, that again.
ROSS: What make you think, she still wants him?
MONICA: Well, she followed him home from work.
CHANDLER: She was waiting in the hall for Joey.
MONICA: She use the bathroom excuse.
CHANDLER: She had to pee. (Wanting to prove her point. Monica blurted out.)
MONICA: She yelled out Chandler's name when she was doing it with Joey.
JOEY: You did hear something! (Phoebe and Rachel looks stunned).
ROSS (jumps up): That doesn't mean anything, so she called out the wrong name. That can happen to anyone. You can't jump to conclusion just because of a little slip of the tongue. A lot of people make mistakes like that. You can't hold it against them for the rest of their lives. (Ross notice that everyone is staring at him and he sits back down, quietly).
RACHEL: Calling out someone's name, in your sleep, no. When you are awake, maybe. But, we are talking about Chandler here, I am on the fence on this one.
CHANDLER (sarcastically): Thanks.
ROSS: It didn't mean a thing, it didn't!
MONICA: What do you think Phoe?
PHOEBE: I'm with Ross. She was probably thinking about all the guys she did it with and she was up to the "C's".
MONICA: Okay, who's up for a bet on this one, I'll take you guys on.
PHOEBE: Yea, easy money, I'll bet a hundred.
ROSS: I'm with Phoe, put me in for a hundred.
JOEY: Yeah, what girl would date me just to be near Chandler? Put me in for a hundred. (Looks over at Phoebe) Can I borrow 98 dollars?
CHANDLER: Betting rather I'm lovable or not...I want to vote yes, but I'm going to have to vote no.
RACHEL: Ummmm....I'm with Monica.
ROSS, JOEY and PHOEBE: What???!!!
RACHEL: I like the thrill of the odds.
SCENE: Phoebe and Rachel Apartment. Phoebe and Rachel are there.
PHOEBE: There's Janice.
RACHEL: Yeah, but she's strange.
PHOEBE: Yeah, she even did it with Ross.
RACHEL: There is nothing wrong with Ross! Ross can be pretty darn good especially with his hands. Yeah, there was the time when he (Rachel looks off dreamily) did this thing with his fingers...(looks over at Phoebe and gets embarrassed.) anyway, what were we saying about Chandler?
PHOEBE: What is it about him that might make women, stay in love, with him?
RACHEL: Yeah, look at Monica, what happen to her? What did he do to her?
PHOEBE: Maybe it's his kisses? Wait, you kissed him!
RACHEL: Well, you did too!
PHOEBE: Yeah ... well, that's definitely not it. (Phoebe looks at Rachel mischievously). So who's a better kisser. Chandler, Joey or Ross?
RACHEL: I didn't kiss Joey.
PHOEBE: Yeah you did ... remember last year, New Year.
RACHEL: Oh yeah ...
PHOEBE: Well, I guess it's between Chandler and Ross.
RACHEL: Actually it's unfair. I was in love with Ross when I kissed him.
PHOEBE: Yeah, you're right. Ross does kiss pretty good.
RACHEL: How do you know that?
PHOEBE (looking at Rachel, apologetically): Yeah, well,it was a long time ago, way before you even came to town. We just got swept up in the moment, we almost...(Phoebe looks at Rachel) never mind.
RACHEL: Phoebe, is there something you should tell me?
PHOEBE: So what do you think it is about Chandler?
SCENE: A nice restaurant. A round table for four, Chandler and Monica are sitting at the table. The other two seats are empty.
CHANDLER: So tell me again, what are we doing here?
MONICA: We're going to get Kathy to admit she still has a thing for you.
CHANDLER: And how are we going to do that? It's not like she gonna come after me with you sitting here.
MONICA: Don't worry I have a plan, just follow my cue....oh, here they come. (Joey comes in with Kathy).
JOEY: Hi guys, sorry we're late.
CHANDLER (has his arm around Monica): No problem.
MONICA: Yes, Chandler great at keeping me entertained (Monica leans into Chandler affectionately
and gives him a kiss on the cheek, Chandler looks at her confused she gives him a look and he acts like
oh yeah I get it, but he don't).
SCENE: Same restaurant. Another table, this one for three, Ross, Rachel and Phoebe are sitting at it.
ROSS: So tell me again, what are we doing here?
RACHEL: We want to see what happens.
ROSS: Why?
PHOEBE: Because this is more interesting than staying home watching TV.
RACHEL: And I want to see if I win our bet.
ROSS: I could be at home watching "Who wants to be a millionaire?" So far I've answered all the questions right! I could have been a millionaire many time over.
RACHEL: Shhh Ross, I can't hear anything.
ROSS: We can't hear anything anyway we're on the other side of the restaurant.
PHOEBE: Well, you don't expect us to sit at the same table! (Ross has this disgusted
look on his face) On second thought, we could be sitting with them. Rach, why aren't we
sitting over there with them?
SCENE: Back to Chandler and Monica's Table
CHANDLER: You know this is a good idea. I mean if you and Joey are going to date we got to get past the ex-girlfriend stuff ... and all be friends, right Mon?
MONICA: Yes, so you dated Chandler. It's in the past. I mean let it go ... go on with your life. Which is what you are doing, right?
KATHY (looks at Chandler for a second): Yes, of course.
MONICA (jokingly): Good. Because Chandler is mine now and I don't like to share.
KATHY: What??!!
MONICA: I was just joking.
JOEY: Enough of the small talk, let's order, I'm starving.
SCENE: Rachel and Phoebe's Table:
RACHEL: We need to speed this up.
ROSS: Maybe I should leave. I'm not into this sort of thing.
RACHEL: You can't go, how would it look if you walk out on us. We would look pretty pathetic.
ROSS: Well, don't you think it looks bad already, I mean two girls having dinner with one guy. Kind of kinky don't you think?
PHOEBE: Then you should stay Ross, we are making you look good.
ROSS: That is true.
PHOEBE: Ohh, ohh... I got an idea. (Phoebe whispers to Rachel and they both get up and
walks off, leaving Ross by himself)
SCENE: Rachel and Phoebe's Table - The girls sit back down at their table.
ROSS: Where you girls go?
HOEBE: To speed things up.
ROSS: What?
RACHEL: Shh! I thinks it's working. (The camera zooms over to Monica and Chandler's table from Ross and Rachel's view. A waiter comes up to Monica and she gets up and goes with him. A few second later another waiter comes up to Joey and whisper something in his ear and he gets up and leaves. Camera comes back to Rachel and Phoebe's table the three are staring in the direction of C&M's Table).
ROSS: How you get them to do that?
RACHEL: Monica is going into the kitchen to get some cooking tips from the chef.
PHOEBE: And Joey is going outside cause some hot chick was asking for him.
RACHEL: Now, this is where I win the bet.
ROSS: Or, we will.
SCENE: Chandler and Monica's Table - Chandler and Kathy are sitting at the table alone.
KATHY: How strange, that both of them get called away. Actually, it's a good thing... this gives me a chance to talk to you, privately.
CHANDLER: What... why there is nothing...
KATHY: I wanted to apologize to you, for hurting you like I did... you know with Nick.
CHANDLER: Don't worry about it ... It's in the past.
KATHY: I was just so upset when we had that fight when you accuse me and then when
you didn't call. What I did was stupid and I really regretted it, I still
regret it. I mean you were the best thing that ever happen to me, so sweet, so real ...(Kathy puts her hand on
top of Chandler's hand).
SCENE: Ross and Rachel's Table - Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are staring at Chandler and Monica's Table.
RACHEL: Ohh look, she's touching his hand.
ROSS: Touching his hand is not even first base. He's probably giving her pointers on how to soften her hands. (Rachel and Phoebe looks at Ross with a "You got to be kidding look")
ROSS: He's actually very good at that. (They turn back to look at C&M's Table)
RACHEL: Darn, Monica's back.
SCENE: Chandler and Monica's Table - Chandler and Kathy are sitting at the table. Monica comes back to the table and Kathy pulls her hand back.
MONICA: It was the strangest thing. The chef wanted to give me a tour of the kitchen. So, did I miss anything? (Monica sits down and snuggle up next to Chandler, Kathy looks uncomfortable).
CHANDLER: No honey, nothing important.
KATHY: I was just telling Chandler how bad I felt about cheating on him. Just think if I didn't. He might be with me right now ... instead of you.
MONICA (with a false smile): I don't know about that, what I have with Chandler is very special.
KATHY: Yes, it's so special it took YOU 11 years to figure it out.
MONICA: Well, that is true, but at least, I haven't cheated on him.
KATHY: The relationship is still young! (Both girls are mad and Monica looks like she is ready to retort when Joey comes walking back in, very confused).
CHANDLER (relieved): So where you go Joe?
JOEY: The strangest thing, the waiter told me (he looks at Kathy) ...forget it. Did
they serve dinner yet?
SCENE: Ross and Rachel's Table - Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are still staring at Chandler and Monica's Table.
RACHEL: Did you see that! I wonder what those guys were talking about?
PHOEBE: It's Monica, anything can set her off.
RACHEL: I bet you it's about Chandler.
ROSS: Chandler?? Why are all you girls so obsessed with Chandler? I mean he's no Tom Cruise. He's not even a Cameron Mathison (Definite hunk on daytime soap).
PHOEBE and RACHEL: Who???
ROSS: You know... Ryan on All My Children. (Rachel and Phoebe starts to giggle) Never mind.
SCENE: Chandler and Monica's Table - Chandler, Monica, Kathy and Joey are sitting at the table eating dinner (they all look very uncomfortable). It's very quiet.
JOEY: Why, are you guys so quiet? We are suppose to be having fun here!
CHANDLER: Yeah, so Kathy, how long is the play suppose to run?
MONICA: Sweetie you got some sauce on your cheek, here let me get it. (Monica take her napkin and rub it against Chandler's cheek, affectionately. Kathy jumps up.)
KATHY: That's it, I can't take it anymore. Chandler your point is made, I'm jealous, okay. I still love you. I want you back. You can stop pretending with Monica.
CHANDLER and MONICA: What??!!
KATHY: This act, you know pretending you're a couple. Why else would you be spying on Joey and me... and going through, the trouble of, this charade with Monica, if not to get me to admit my feelings.
CHANDLER: We weren't spying on you?
KATHY: We?
CHANDLER: Monica and I wanted a little privacy because the gang was in our apartment.
KATHY: You mean Monica was there??? (Kathy sits back down.) You mean you two are really together?
CHANDLER: Yes.
KATHY: No that can't be... you guys are friends, she taught you how to make love to me??? It doesn't make sense.
MONICA: It's true Kathy, I love Chandler and he loves me.
KATHY (looking at Chandler and ignoring Monica and Joey) : But, you still love me, I can't be wrong about that, I can see it in your eyes.
CHANDLER: Kathy, I love Monica.
KATHY: Yes, but you love me too! If I'm wrong then look me in the eyes and tell me. (Chandler looks into Kathy's face. Monica seeing the hesitation, gets nervous.)
MONICA: Tell her Chandler.
CHANDLER: I can't.
MONICA: What???!!!
CHANDLER: I'm sorry Monica, I can't. (Monica looks into Chandler's face and see the pain in his eyes. She gets up and walk out of the restaurant.) Monica, wait! (Chandler runs after her. Kathy smiles.)
JOEY: Kathy, I don't think we should see each other anymore!
ENDING SCENE: Ross and Rachel's Table - Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are looking at Chandler and Monica's table. They are all excited and curious.
RACHEL: What is going on over there??!!
ROSS: Monica looks upset and why is she running off like that? (A waiter is walking by when Rachel flags him over.)
WAITER: Yes, may I get you something? (Rachel pushes him into the vancant chair at their table.)
RACHEL: Yes. I mean no. Just tell me what happen over there (pointing to Monica and Chandler's table. Phoebe adds in.)
PHOEBE: And don't leave out the details. TO BE CONTINUED