I will not and cannot apologize for this. I will admit that I don't know where it came from.
Its when she's on her feet that he finds her most annoying.
Because when she's on her feet, she talks and when she talks, she just...well, he hates it when she does that. Because she's nice and she loves him and all this crap he just can't handle. He doesn't want to hear how she desperately clings to that lovers fantasy, where he should be the one to pitch woo.
Because he won't
There is no love.
There is only scotch and bourbon and that tangy perfume she dabs behind her ears that drives him wild and tastes bitter on her throat where sweat drags it along her pores.
She's not special, never will be, to him at least. Sure, there is someone out there thay would love a sweet, confused girl like her. A girl that thinks a broken man like him even had the capacity to love.
In truth, he supposes there is some form of love there, or maybe its just lust. Because she has no limits like most of the broads he's been with. She does whatever he wants and well, savagery is a part of the package. Its routine now, once he gets her past the bedroom door and has her cornered and begging for it. For anything.
He has nights where he talks, but only after she's half concious and incapable of anything but mutters. He doesn't want her to hear him or his ramblings, his confessions, his concerns. Doesn't want her to hear how she actually is pretty, how he hates her caring attitude when he tells her that this is it.
He doesn't want her to know that he cares.
Shkrt, and still no apologies.