September 2009

The premiere of season five. Something really big, we never thought we would come that far.
But we've already filmed five episodes, the first one would air tonight. Any moment.
I let my eyes wander around the room, spotted everyone besides her.
Why wasn't she here? Those opening nights were nothing without her.
She and I had the same humour, especially after some glasses of wine.
I had been excited all day long, curious about which dress she would wear, how her hair would look.
But I waited for a whole hour before she came.
Of course everyone started applauding as she stepped inside, she was the main actress, her character was the main character, the character after which the series was named. I was nothing compared to her but for some reason I didn't care. She was the main person for a good reason: her stunning looks.
And she really did looked stunning tonight.
She was wearing a black dress, that almost reached to her knees. I swallowed. She had beautiful legs.
*Get a grip, David! You're married. And she's your best friend!*
Her hair was done up and her smile was breathtaking as always.
But there was something strange about her. She looked tired, even sad.
I walked a bit closer. She looked more pale than usual (not that she was always pale but fact was, I've never seen her tanned) and her eyes looked swollen.
Something wasn't right.
Even though she always looked beautiful, even pale and with swollen eyes, she seemed a little done today.
She smiled as everyone took pictures, greeted everyone and tried her best to look happy. To others she probably seemed happy but she couldn't fool me. She was a good actress but I knew her too well, I knew she hated those premiere-parties, so I went over to her.
Her faked smile turned into a big and honest one as soon as she saw me and not for the first time I asked myself:
*Does she feel the same as me?*
"David!" she called and pulled me into a hug.
Pictures were taken, pictures on which Emily kissed my cheek.
I knew that some fans would go crazy after those pictures would go online.
And Jaime would go crazy too, she would scream at me again, wanting to know if I was sleeping with my co-actress. I would say no but my wife would not believe me again.
I could understand why she didn't.
I talked about Emily too often.
"Hi, Em," I said in reply. "You're here, now the party turned out really nice eventually."
Her cheeks flushed and I took her hand. I loved it when she looked flustered.
"Let's get some wine?"

Two hours, the Harbingers in a Fountain episode and some glasses of wine later, she announced that she would leave.
She had just returned from the toilet and looked even more done than before. Now her eyes looked reddened.
"What's wrong?" I asked and pulled her close, caressing her cheek. She was my best friend. I didn't want her to cry. "The airing was a great success, everyone congratulated us to the first episode!"
"I ... I'm a bit tired, that's all."
Her answer was whispered and she avoided my eyes.
"I don't believe you," I responded and pulled her out of the room, down the hall and into another room. I made sure it was empty, before I closed the door.
"Emily," I said forcefully. "I know you. You're my best friend. What's wrong with you?"
And then something happened, something I hadn't expected.
She burst into tears.
My mouth went open, as Emily just broke together in front of me, her beautiful face buried in her hands.
I fast forward quickly, taking her into my arms. Leading her shaking body over to the couch in the middle of the room, I caressed her back.
"Shhh... it's fine, Em. I'm here. You can tell me. What's wrong, tell me."
I sat down on the couch, pulling her with me. I rested her head on my chest, still caressing her back.
She sobbed madly. I was shocked, during all those years of spending day after day with her, I had seen her totally pissed off, angry, happy, crying of laughter, PMSing (that was what she had told me, I still didn't think it was an emotion), tired and in love. In love with her fiancé.
But I had never seen her that sad. So helplessly.
"Emily," I whispered in shock and she lifted her head.
The tears had destroyed her make up but she still looked beautiful to me. She would always look beautiful to me ...
"David, he ... my fiancé -," she stammered, "my ex-fiancé..."
"Ex?" I whispered. "Oh no, Em ... he broke up?"
Emily nodded and buried her face in my chest again.
"He ... he said he needed a break from me ... I've done nothing wrong, David ... I've been the perfect girlfriend, I've ... I've given him everything he wanted ..."
"Of course you've done nothing wrong!" I raged and suddenly felt burning hate for the other David. I had never really liked him but now he had broken this amazing woman's heart. How could he have done that?
"I'm scared ... that I ... that he maybe thought that I ..." Emily continued crying in my chest. "That I ... I can't tell you ..."
"Hey, I'm your best friend," I said gently and she looked at me. "Your best male friend. Hm? Or do you want me to get Michaela?"
"No," Emily whispered and grabbed my shirt, which wasn't white anymore. Traces of her mascara were on it now. Jaime would so kill me.
"Tell me." I smiled at her and she blushed again.
"I'm scared that I'm not good in bed. I had a boyfriend in high school who told me I wasn't. He had been my first one though but ever since then I've been scared that I'm bad ... oh god, why did I tell you? This is so stupid."
"Yes, it is. Stupid of everyone who told you that you're not good in bed. I'm sure that's not true, I'm sure you're a goddess."
"Mhh..." Emily smiled a bit. "If you weren't married, I would show you."
I laughed. "You should head back home. You can't return with a face like that."
"What's wrong about my face?" she asked, faking to be offended.
"Everything's right about your face," I replied gently and caressed her cheek. "Hey, I know what to do. I'll go back and tell them you've already left, then I'll pack my stuff and go after you ..."
"Back with me?"
"Of course. I don't want you to be alone now."
Emily smiled.

Said, done.
I closed my jacket over the dirty shirt before I went back.
Michaela was the first to ask me where her friend was.
"She didn't feel good," I replied and Michaela's face fell immediately.
"Don't tell me that David really broke up now," she whispered.
"She's told you already?" I asked and the other actress shook her head.
"She ... She mentioned that David and her have been fighting over the last weeks but Emily also said that it was because of the wedding preparation. Oh no, what a bastard."
"She said that he only needed a break," I sighed, "but I know what it means if a guy says he needs a break. I've broken up with that sentence for many times."
"You're an asshole," Michaela stated but for some reason it sounded gentle. "Will you stay with her tonight?"
"No, why?" I lied and Michaela grinned.
"Because, dear David, because I know you. You're head over heels into her and you see her as your best friend. You couldn't leave her alone."
"Kayla, my wife will kill me if I -"
"Hm, interesting," Michaela interrupted me. "You haven't denied it. So you are head over heels into her?"
"What? No! I mean, who wouldn't be, look at her ..."
Michaela grinned. Shit. I had lost. I was busted.
"Just give her some comfort," she said and put her hand on my shoulder. "Do what your heart tells you. Do whatever she wants you to do, and if she wants you to stay with her, do it. I hate helping you with that but Em is our best friend. I'd also do everything for her."
I smiled at my co-worker. "It seems like the character of Angela was invented by you," I said. "You're so alike. And I mean that as a compliment."
Michaela laughed and hugged me.
Then I went to Hart and Kathy and told them the same, that Emily had left already and that I would return back home, back to my wife.
What a lie.
I drove right to Emily's house, hoping that no one would follow me.
How lucky I was. No one followed me, no one saw me on my way from the car to her house.
She opened the door immediately as I rang the doorbell and my heart stopped beating for a few seconds.
She had completely removed her make up and changed from her black dress into a silky, purple nightgown.
"Hi," she whispered and slung her arms around me, pulling me inside.
She closed the door with her leg and smiled at me.
"Emily, you look stunning," I said with a dry mouth.
My mind was going crazy, my insides were jumping and an inner voice was screaming at me.
*YOU'RE MARRIED! DON'T DO IT, DON'T DO IT AGAIN!*
But there was something else. Another voice, whispering,
*But doesn't Jaime already think you're sleeping with Emily?*
I wasn't proud of it but that second voice won. I let myself pull into the bedroom.
She was my best friend. Of course I was in love with her, madly, but she was still my best friend.
But then we had reached the bedroom and all of a sudden I was on top of her, she had let herself fall down and pulled me with her.
I looked down at her, looked into her beautiful eyes.
And then I captured her beautiful lips, kissed along her perfect jawline, caressed her stunning curves until I reached the edge of her panties, which I took between my fingers and pulled down.
"Show me, how good you are in bed," I whispered against the spot where her jaw met her throat, before I kissed down her neck, shoulder and collarbone.
And she did.
I had never thought I would be making love to my best friend but I did.
And she was good in bed, way too good.
Way too good to leave her.