Every word I speak is the truth. It is what is in my heart. But sometimes, my rage gets the best of me. That is when I will admit things I regret.
After becoming friends with Kurt, I took the word 'fag' out of my vocabulary. The day I got to his house, however, I just snapped. I did not want to live in fear of what he was in my own bedroom. I was not about to share a room with a guy who was attracted to me.
Oh, yes, I know.
Sometimes I will catch him watching me from across a room, just smiling to himself while I speak or laugh with another member from Glee club. There is a sparkle in his eyes that is the same one Rachel gets when I watch her observe Jesse. The one with which she used to look at me.
Whenever I catch Kurt, though, he will either avert his eyes or wave at me. My mother and I left Kurt's house after his father yelled at me.
Never did I think I would use the word 'fag' around one of my closest friends. All of the weight on my shoulders was just building up until I took it out on the one person who had been actually trying to make it easier for me. He was just trying to help.
It may not be totally comfortable, but I can sympathize with his feelings. You cannot stop yourself from liking somebody. The images and fantasies just arise, you catch yourself smiling when you hear the person's laugh… and you get carried away.
As much as I want to be friends with Kurt, I know it hurts him. But he tries, so I will too. That starts with getting our parents back together and ensuring his safety around me. To do that, I will have to lighten up and hold everything inside once again.
When my anger resurfaces I hope that I do not take it out on the wrong person.
Author's note;
So after watching a buncha episodes of Glee I was inspired to write this fic.
I believe that there is more to Finn than even he knows, and I hope I made that clear.
Glee is awesome. But so is my Glee Beta; A Scarlet Rebel. She read this and that and more to come. ^^
Your wonderful reviews are always great. (: