Middle Ground
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or its characters, they belong respectively to Stephanie Meyer. These words however are my own.
AN: There is just something about Jake that I really and truly adore. He has flaws and conflicts and suffers from everything a teenage boy usually does—despite being part Werewolf of course. He isn't perfect. And that's probably what I love about him the most. But it's for those exact opposite reasons that I love Edward, because he pretty much is perfect. But looking at it from Jake's perspective I could see how that could get a little frustrating don't you? But as always with this little Fan Girl head of mine I'm usually torn with conflicting pairings and this case is no exception, which is why I wanted both Edward and Jake to find some middle ground as well as a few things to be resolved with Bella.
P.S. This one is for my good friend Nikki-Chan—I heart you!
He didn't know what he was going to do without her.
The muscles in his legs screamed at him to slow down as they worked in an over time effort to keep up with his racing heart. It was the same heart that was now slowly breaking into a million little pieces and he doubted if he could ever put them back together again.
"He's the one I want Jake. He came back and I love him" A roar tore from his lips and scattered the birds in the nearby trees into a squawking flying frenzy. Why couldn't he be the one she wanted? The one that she loved. He wanted so desperately to just hold her and be the one to chase her fears away. But Jake wasn't completely devoid of wanting her happiness, he kept telling himself that maybe if she was content he could learn to accept it.
It would be so much easier if her boyfriend wasn't his sworn enemy.
Jake didn't want her to become one of them either. It would be a fate worse then death in his eyes to live an eternity devoid of the simple pleasure of being human--of being a living human. He may be part werewolf but at least he still had that part right.
Switching onto a rocker path Jake dimly felt the jagged stones biting into the soft pads beneath his feet digging in to leave his paws raw only to quickly heal and start the entire process all over again. Even the moon didn't seem to be on his side this night, the familiar orb was high and fat and yet somehow distant and powerless unable to offer its usual comfort.
Jake never wanted to hold Bella in his arms more in his life.
From his left the grass suddenly swayed and whispered in an odd fashion, it was as if a whirlwind had just struck it. His ligaments tensed and he took a deep breath almost gagging from the stench of it.
Vampire.
Oh he was so in the mood to fight.
"I'm not here for that" the voice was cold and smooth and it sounded somewhere off to his far right. Jake turned sharply and snapped his jaws furiously; he pawed the ground anxiously waiting to strike.
"What the hell do you want?" he shouted in his mind knowing that the feral bloodsucker would surely cringe because of it. The thought almost made him smile—in a wolfish way of course.
"Bella was worried about you. She wanted to make sure you were ok"
Jake veered forward towards the sound of his answer but his steps were not as careful as before and he missed closing his teeth around the Vampire by mere inches. Edward moved back and feinted sideways keeping his movements so that he was always just out of reach.
He snorted angrily.
"Where is she?"
"She's coming"
"How?"
"She's with Alice"
Despite his best efforts Jake couldn't help but sniff the air again, he examined it carefully and sure enough there was the faint smell of Bella's strawberry like scent mixed in with the ghastly bloodsuckers that now filled his senses.
"Her heart is breaking in two right now Jake" Edward was closer but he kept his movements careful "Bella really cares deeply for you and she hates herself because you're suffering".
Jake kept deathly still his breathing came in slow even movements as he tried to relax his muscles from pouncing on instinct. "I hate that she has to feel that way. I hate that she had to choose and that she chose…" a lump formed in his throat but he forced it down harshly.
"But it wasn't you're decision to make. It was hers" the reply was simple but just hearing the words from his lips stung making everything seem even more real and even more permanent.
"Don't you think I know that already!?" he snapped and closed his eyes for a moment to keep the sinews from trembling with restraint "You're not good for her…". A weak chuckle escaped Edward's lips as the bushes surrounding him trembled "You know I've told myself that very same thing a thousand times over. It was for that very reason that I left this tiny town that I had come to call home in the first place and uprooted my family and their peaceful lives in order to protect the fragile life of the one I loved. But I was wrong and it was dumb of me to think I could be without her and to never realize the agony I was truly causing her when I left"
The werewolf kept silent, listening as he continued on.
"But that's where you came in. You saved Bella in so many ways that I never could and probably never will for the rest of my existence. You were there when she needed someone the most Jake; you protected Bella and offered her a world of sunlight and kind words to ease her pain. And for that Bella will always be grateful…and so will I"
Jake's mind was spinning now and his heart gave a few dull throbs letting him know that it was still there. How could those words seem so wrong and yet so right at the same time? Was this how it was all really going to end?
"I still don't want her to be a bloodsucker like you though" he argued quietly, he was sure of that "I want her to live a full and happy life without all the complications of being a Vampire".A gleam of white lunar light shone from the corner of his eye causing Jake to turn his head a little to see the thing he loathed by instinct and with the heart of a teenage boy smile at him sadly.
"Neither do I" His bright eyes were amber and full of ancient knowledge and it was clear he was struggling to make this whole situation better.
"Then why let her!?" Jake shouted in bewilderment, full of desperation to make him see that he had options. To make him understand that this wasn't the best choice. "Spare Bella the misery and keep her the way she is".
The way I have always known and loved her…
But the Vampire just smiled sadly again "I don't really have a choice do I? Bella is rather stubborn" he chuckled at that softly before becoming mournful "This is what Bella want's. How am I to deny her that?"
"But you have t--" The Werewolf's words were cut off as the Bloodsucker looked away and to the right.
"Bella's coming" Edward interjected his face unreadable, obviously hearing the thoughts of his sister to. Jake smelled the newcomers before he heard them and backed up a little. It probably wouldn't go over to well if he looked as if he was about to tear Bella's fiancé's head off.
In a moment both Alice and Bella were there beside them. The dark headed vampire looked like she should have been crushed from carrying the slightly taller human but she easily held her own and let her passenger slide down from her back. Bella stumbled a little and fell on her butt. Jake chuckled to himself despite everything that was going on she was still the same old Bella. His heart gave a painful pang; he was so going to miss that. Dusting herself off a little Bella looked to Edward and then to Jake, her face portraying her emotions of relief knowing that both men were safe.
"We'll leave and let you two talk" Edward announced as he walked to his sister's side who glanced at him and then to Bella.
The one known as Alice bit her lip with a nervous tension "Will you be alright?" she asked with a hint of worry obviously not approving of her brother's plan.
Jake snorted once again and Bella looked over at him so that their eyes connected "Yeah, don't worry. I'll be just fine" her hand was then grasped by Edwards and given a small squeeze. Jake looked away, not being able to stand it.
In a moment both Vampires were gone leaving Jake and Bella completely alone.
"I'm glad your ok Jacob I was really worried about you" she never moved any closer but her words forced him to look at her "I never meant for this to happen you know. I don't want you to feel sad because of my choice…you know I'll always love you to"
Yeah… But not as much as you love him…He thought sourly looking away once again. This time Bella did move closer and in a few small strides closed the gap between them to wrap her arms snugly around his furry neck. Her strawberry sweet scent mixed in with the crushed pine and he found himself trying to etch the memory of her smell into his mind so that he would never forget it.
"I never wanted any of this for you. Please Jake you have to try and understand that I never wanted to hurt you like this" he could feel a few unheard sobs shudder through her chest as tears fell from her eyes.
Who was hurting whom now?
Angry with himself Jake moved back and away but his intentions were misinterpreted because Bella tried to tighten her arms around him on reflex and gave a soft cry "Please don't go Jake! I don't want you to run away anymore".
The sound, if possible, made his heart break even more.
Jake stopped moving and snuggled his head over her shoulder and pulled back mimicking a hug as best as he could in his wolf form. When Bella calmed he tried again and this time she let go fully, he glanced back at her a moment indicating that he would be right back and trotted off into the woods. It was there he morphed back into his human skin while walking towards a gnarled looking tree as he felt his bones give the now familiar snap and crunch as they went back into place.
Crouching down Jake silently thanked Embry to himself as he dug through the forest floor a little to find a pair of shorts stuffed inside a plastic bag, he shook it a little to air it out before slipping them on and making his way to where he left Bella. She looked relieved when he came back into view again.
"You came back" She smiled, she seemed truly happy despite her tear-stained face.
Her expression made him smile to "Yeah, I figured you might need a little light in all this darkness" he was of course referring to the many times she had called him her 'own personal sun'. Jake's face then fell a little and struggled with the words he was about to say "I didn't mean to hurt you either Bella…it's like…I just…" his throat constricted and he had to forcefully take a deep breath. He turned his gaze to her, watching as she waited patiently for the rest of his words "I'm going to miss you so much".
Bella was there then; she had run to his side and was now tightly clutching him around the waist and crying into his chest. Jake sniffled a bit to and patted her head gently murmuring a few soothing words to calm them both down. After a few failed attempts Bella looked up a little "I'm going to miss you to Jake but you'll always be my friend" she stopped and smiled "My best friend".
They were both silent for a moment before Jake sighed.
"It's getting really late"
"Yeah, I know"
"Charlie is probably really worried about you"
Bella murmured something incoherent into his chest and Jake pulled away silently "Did you want me to get that bloodsu—I mean Edward for you? He might be in range of hearing my thoughts if I shout them".
But Bella just shook her head and stepped back "No thanks, I'll just call him" she pulled a sleek black phone from her pocket and punched in a few numbers, after a moment she was done talking and shut it with a snap.
"Its all set then" she said stuffing the phone away and looking at him with a small smile.
Jake nodded a little "So, is he on his way now then?" he silently prepared himself for the awful stench that was sure to come.
"Actually…" Bella began, her mouth twisting into a larger smile "I was hoping I could get a ride home with you".
Jacob blinked a few times in astonishment "You want me to take you home?"
Bella nodded "Well yeah, werewolf style would be cool. You would be just like a horse…except faster and hairier and for the fact that you could probably eat one in one gulp". She laughed and Jake found himself laughing to.
"Are you sure he won't mind though?" the last thing he wanted to do was cause her to be in any trouble.
But Bella just shook her head once again "No Edward said whatever makes me happy is fine with him".
Jake's gaze softened then and he knew in his heart that Bella would be just fine. As much as it pained him to think it he knew the two loved each other very much and though he could never condone Bella being a Vampire he suddenly felt a little better about everything.
"I guess he isn't such a bad guy after all…" he mumbled to himself not realizing that Bella had heard him until her eyes widened.
"Really Jake? Do you actually mean that?" she asked, her mouth a gape a little to match her bright stunned orbs.
The teenage Werewolf shrugged and smiled "I guess you could say that you're our middle ground. All we really want is what's best for you and despite our differences we both share that one thing. So how bad could that bloodsucker be?" He laughed as she made a face at the word 'bloodsucker' and hugged her once more. They then parted and Jake shuffled his way back into the woods to undress and stuff the clothes back into its hiding spot.
When he returned Bella was right there waiting for him.
Crouching down low Jake waited as Bella clumsily scrambled up onto his back and wobbled a little before steadying herself by grabbing a few tufts of his now shaggy wolf hair. "See, this isn't so bad" she told him "You're nothing more than a big old puppy dog".
Jake looked back with mirth in his eyes and stretched his lips into a canine grin, Bella returned it and with a nod that seemed to say "Hold On!" Jake had taken off into the woods.
And as the trees around them blurred and his passenger gave a nervous laugh of exhilaration Jake wondered if maybe now he could begin to pick up the pieces of his shattered heart. With Bella by his side, even as just a friend, he thought that maybe it just might be possible after all.