Mothers
Authors Note/Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Once Upon A Time, that credit is due to go to the writers/creators.
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Summary: A little talk about mothers.
Part 1
Snow gently ran her fingers over the cover of the brown storybook in her lap; listening to the sound of Neal's breathing from the bassinet beside her, the little babe had fallen asleep listening to the tale of Cinderella. It was the true tale, not the version in this world, she wanted Neal to know the truth. Her eyes ran over the sleeping babe, it was the simple things she missed most when in the underworld, reading to him was just one of the few. It was nice to have these moments back though her heart ached for those she had left behind, the rest of her family was out there.
Family. Snow glanced at the other end of the couch, eyes resting on Roland curled under the blanket. Regina had only asked for her to check on him, but it was clear when she saw him in the church asking the fairies for his father, that she had to take him home. He was her family now, and with Regina and Robin gone, it was her duty to care for him.
Snow's hands tightened around the book in her lap, watching his eyelids flutter as he dreamt. She couldn't help but think back to the conversation they had at dinner. She hadn't expected that Roland, the shy quiet child, would be incredibly inquisitive. It appeared that he had concerns, and questions that he had been desperately wishing to speak to someone about, she just wondered why it had to be her.
"Can I ask you a question?"
Snow glanced up from her plate, lowering her fork from her mouth as she glanced at Roland. "Of course you can, honey."
Roland chewed on his bottom lip, cautiously mauling over his thoughts. "Do you have a mommy?"
Snow swallowed, her eyes closing for a moment as she took a deep breath to focus. Her heart pounded in her chest, it had been many years since someone had asked her a question like that. "Well," She wasn't sure how to answer. At one put in her life she had a mother, Eva, who was taken from her when she was not much older then Roland, however she do not think of her everyday anymore. It was not because she had moved on completely, no, Snow knew that she would always love Eva but thinking of her brought back memories that were either to painful to think of or they seemed to anger her.
"Sorry, I didn't mean…"
Snow blinked, giving Roland a soft smile. "Oh, it's alright, honey. I just, well, I don't think of my mother often that is all. I do have a mother, or I did. She died when I was young."
Roland's eyes filled with sadness. "My mama is dead too."
Snow reached across the table to take his hand in hers. "I know, I am incrediably sorry to hear that Roland. I am sure she was a wonderful mama, a very special lady."
"I miss her." Roland admitted, closing his eyes. "Do you miss your mama?"
"Yes." Snow did not hesitate, the feeling of missing her mother would never disappear. "Where has this talk come from, honey?" It was a reasonable question, especially when she realised that Roland probably hadn't brought this up with his father.
Roland's eyes were shining with tears. "Can you have more then one mother?"
Snow felt her heart drop at the sound of the question, not believe it was wrong but because she had once asked the same question, and her father, Leopold had scolded her for thinking such a thing. In this moment she had a decision to make, unsure of what Robin would say, how he would explain it made it difficult. The thought of stepping on another parents toes was horrid, so there was only one thing she could do, it was to share her experience with him. "After my mother passed away, my father married another woman, she was…is my stepmother."
"Do you call her mother? Does she love you?" Roland's eyes seemed to come alive with curiosity.
Snow's smile was bittersweet. "I did call her mother, sometimes, and perhaps at one point in her life she loved me."
"Did she do things with you? I want a mama to do mama things."
Snow patted his hand gently, seeing the longing in his eyes, the same longing that once filled her soul. "When I was younger she used to braid my hair and tuck me in at night." Snow closed her eyes. "And, she taught me the most important lesson in life, to never give up." The memory came to the forfront of her mind, of Regina telling her to get back on the horse. "When I as a mere child she saved me, and since that moment I've loved her."
"Wow."
Snow reached out to tilt his chin, so that she could look into his eyes. "Your father is an amazing man, Roland, and he loves you very much. Having a mother…"
Roland chewed on the bottom of his lip. "I love papa but I want a mother." He inched forward on his chair. "Does your other mother live here, in Storybrooke?"
Snow nodded slowly. "She does." In truth she found herself unsure if she should tell him the truth. How would he react to the knowledge that she was Regina's stepchild?
"Will I meet her?"
Snow reached for her glass of water. "You already have, my stepmother is Regina." She told him, taking a sip of the water as she watched his face show a look of surprise and she wondered how he had not suspected.
"I thought Regina hated you." Roland blushed. "Sorry, that was rude."
"It's alright." Snow assured, picking her fork back up. "I do not believe Regina hates me as much as used too." She spoke the words quietly as her mind filled with images of Regina from the Enchanted Forest until the present time.
Snow blinked as the conversation flowed through her mind, her eyes never leaving Roland. He wanted Regina as a mother as well. It all made Snow's heart hurt. She was Henry's mother, undoubtedly she would one day be Roland's and potentially at least a stepmother to Robin and Zelena's child. Snow felt her heart drop, she was going to be their mother but she would never be Snow's and for that Snow felt deflated, envious.
Even after everything, the heartache, the torture, the death…she still loved Regina as any child would love their mother. The pure thought of Roland getting that love but never having it herself made her feel completely envious. She wanted the love that Henry had from Regina, that Roland was already gaining.
Snow heard Neal whine in his bassinet and she turned her head towards him. If they could be as they were then their family could be so much more.
Thoughts?
Much Love. x