A/N: This is fairly angsty Craig/Manny.
So, uh, be warned... and junk. Please RR and be polite, if not
nice. Flames will be put out by way of me pissing on them. And then
I'll pee on your grave. but not really. I'm odd. Truly, truly odd.
Enjoy the story.
Me, You, Us
by HHH
Between the two of us, we've done so much damage. We are like twin wrecking balls, smashing into everything we can find. But some things aren't easily broken, and somehow we find our way back to one another. And we crash together again. It's not fair to everyone else, I know. I can't stop myself, and afterward I feel drained. And it's not really about you; it's about me. How I'm hurting everybody even now and I know it and I still won't stop. I don't want to.
And in those moments, when we are connected, I feel you fully. Your heat, your light, your beauty; all of it comes sliding into view, deep focus and cherry lip gloss. Your heart is open, in these moments, and you read mine like an open diary. I see you, and the world around me fades. Everything is centered in you.
I realize I feel things a bit too deeply. You bring it out in me most. Ashley could never quite reach that deep. She tried though, and I blame myself too. For not really loving her. For shoving her away. I thinks she assumes it was easy for you, or at least easier. But what she doesn't understand is that you didn't just take something away, and I didn't just leave. You had me all along. And you were constantly letting me go. And I had you, but I could never quite give you up to the world. I was selfish that way, am selfish. And we came around again, back to each other. Only I was still with Ash, and you were hopeful and alone. And I almost broke that part of you; that hope that I love so much. I never could've forgiven myself if I had done that.
When I gave Ash back the guitar, she stared at me as though I didn't really exist. As though I never had. And I knew before that that I had chosen you. I knew the moment we kissed, and it was wrong, but we were right. She doesn't talk to me anymore, just silently hates me. And I know I was wrong, but how can I stay in my self loathing when you are here and smiling your hopeful smile?
It's been a difficult situation. One where nobody wins, because in some small way, we were all to blame. And we all feel bad. There's no other way to put it. I feel bad for betraying Ashley. She feels bad for being betrayed. And you feel bad for hurting her. And there's nothing we can do but revolve around each other silently. Ashley out there somewhere, silent and sad. And on the other side, we are there. Quiet and repentant. Me, you… us.