Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon or the song 'Everything Burns' by Anastasia featuring Ben Moody. I do however own the plot to this.
One-shot
She sits in her corner
Singing herself to sleep
Wrapped in all of the promises
That no one seems to keep
She was sitting in the corner of the placed she called home her knees tucked under her chin as she rocked back and forth. It wasn't much of a home in a sense of the word and she knew that in a few years she would look back and spit on the fact she called it that. The only way it was a home was in the meaning of the word. It was in that sense a lousy home. This placed she lived in was far from a home' it was a rut her ex-boyfriend had called their apartment. It was always damp from the fact that rain would pour in from broken windows and soak through spots on the ceiling; it was dark and looked like a wreck, beams from the walls or ceiling had falling and were lying about, plaster was peeling off the walls and the light fixtures looked as if they were from some horrid sci-fi movie. She had known something of a home when she was younger though even now sitting in the corner of this hell hole it didn't seem like a home; but it was better then the home she supposedly lived in now.
She had started humming to herself; it was a song she had learned as a child. It was from a music box; her favorite and only one to be exact. It was one of the few things as a child she had gotten from her mother. She closed her eyes picturing the small wooden box in her mind. It was painted white with black, pink and red ribbons painted all over it never ending it seemed. She wasn't sure why but it always helped lull her to sleep. Her long damp purple hair was pulled out around her. She opened her blue eyes trying not to remember how it had become wet but it still came to her. She was sitting on a park bench looking down at the ground under her trying to forget her problems if only for a little while; her small hands were clasped in her lap. She hadn't even noticed it was raining she was so caught up in forgetting. It wasn't until she felt a large rough hand wrap a strong grip around her small arm did she come out of what she was doing.
Her head shot up looking at the man who was standing over her. He pulled her up in one quick movement twirling her so she faced him. "How about we get you inside and dried girlie we wouldn't want you to get sick now would we." He said whatever alcoholic beverage he had drank before coming off of him in a strong smell. It had taken one very strong yank but she had gotten her arm free from the man's grasp. Within seconds of being free she ran for this place she called home; running and never stopping until her frail body had slumped down in the corner of the bedroom.
She placed her head into the crack between her knees as far as she could still humming the tune from the music box thinking back to when this hell had started. It was when her mother had promised her as a child that she would always look out for her and always lover her. Though it had turned out to be a lie, just a lie; she knew though somehow she just knew it wouldn't be the first lie she heard and she knew it wouldn't be the last. She thought about her life would be okay though when she meant her the boy she had called her boyfriend. Thought maybe when he told her that he loved her and that he would always protect her he was telling the truth; God how she wanted to believe that. It turned out to be a lie as well baring its evil face with a vengeance.
She no longer cries to herself
No tears left to wash away
Just diaries of empty pages
Feelings gone a stray
But she will sing
Bringing her head out from the in between her knees she looked down at her wrist at the pink and red hue scars. She had started the nasty habit when her now ex-boyfriend showed his true face. She wasn't sure why but she knew she should have left him the first time he hit her; the first time he commanded her to use her body to make them money but she couldn't. He had been the only thing from keeping her dead and on the street. She didn't cry though. She didn't even cry when he left her for some slut he had meant and decided would make him more money. She was sure he was right after all she was so skinny from not eating that her purple hair had lost the shine it once had, her wrist and arms had scars all along them that were clearly visible. Not once had she cried. It was actually why she had started to cut; she wanted to feel some kind of pain because long ago she had stopped feeling pain; so she wanted to know she wasn't numb; and she just couldn't cry she had no tears left to cry; so she wanted to release what she felt some way.
She couldn't draw; it was out of the questions her hands would shake every time she picked a paint brush or a pencil up. She couldn't even write in the diary she had found. She looked over to the book that was in her thoughts; she knew it was just filled of nothing, nothing but empty lifeless pages. The first one bending easily because she had opened it so many times to try and write; to try and figure out what she was feeling. But it had just come to nothing. She couldn't figure out her feelings and every time she tried and couldn't it would only make her more depressed then she already was.
She moved out of the position she was in using her skinny weak arms to push herself off the ground. Standing up she walked over to a window wiping the dirt that had found its way on there somehow so she could see out the window. Her blue eyes scanned about; she knew she would be evicted soon; she knew it was a matter of time before she was out on the street. Walking over to the small crack in the floor she bent down her small fingers prying the floor board up. Reaching her small hand in she felt around for what she was looking for. Once she found it she pulled out in between two of her fingers a small razor. It was the one she used to cut. It was stained red from her blood because when she put it back she didn't bother or have the time to clean it off.
She didn't know what to feel anymore hell she didn't know what she was feeling. She knew one thing though. She wanted her life to end; as plain and simple as that. "All I am is a waste of space" She said to her self as she stood up the razor clenched in her one hand. She didn't mind or realize she had started to bleed as she walked out of the place she had called a home for years. Looking back once more with blue eyes she closed them. Turning her head back she opened her eyes as she walked out the door and away from this place forever.
Till everything burns
While everyone screams
Burning their lies
Burning my dreams
All of this hate
And all of this pain
I'll burn it all down
As my anger reigns
Till everything burns
She had walked for who knows how long until she found a place that she assumed no one would see or could see. It was an alley on the side of an abandoned warehouse. Sniffing around she could tell it was used to store food of many sorts; she was sure though just like everything else in this town it had sold out or moved out. Sitting down on the boxes and trash that was next to a dumpster she opened up her now small bloody and pale hand to reveal the razor. At some point as she sat there the rain had started to fall harder; the small pellets beating against her already cold skin. Her blue eyes looked down at her hand the rain mixing in with her blood as it dripped down to fall on her purple dress. She knew one thing that would make everything stop; all the lies and all the betrayal.
She placed the razor on her wrist sharp side pressing down slightly into her skin; smiling at the sight of the blood coming out of the cut. It was one of the few things that soothed her no matter what it was from; it let her know she was an actual person even though she didn't seem to be on the outside. Pressing now harder she moved it down her arm in a straight line causing more blood to pool out of the cut she had made mixing in with the rain that was falling. With a satisfied smile she took the razor into her other hand and placed it once again sharp side down onto her other wrist pressing down slightly in the skin. She could feel the burning sensation from the other cut start to fill her body as she lost more blood and it mixed with the rain. Ignoring it for now she moved the razor down her arm causing more of her blood to pour out.
Dropping the razor on the ground as the burning filled her body she laid her head against the brick wall letting it consume her. She could hear people walking on the sidewalk that was outside the alley she was in; she could hear others running for cover as the rain poured harder trying to keep themselves from either getting sick or just wet she wasn't sure. Closing her eyes she let the noises around her sooth her; the mothers screaming for their children to come inside; the people's feet hitting the ground as they walked. She was finally happy and in a place she didn't care to be.
She had finally burned out the lies everyone had told her; the dreams she had once had for herself as a little girl. 'It was so simple.' She thought to herself as she opened her eyes for what she thought to would be the last time. She got ride of everything; the hate, the pain it was simply gone. She loved the burning feeling that had washed it out; made it all no more simply because of two small cuts she had made. Her blue eyes opened slowly for what she thought would be the last time. They were filled with anger; not at herself no never at herself but at the people who had caused her to feel this was the way out "The only way out" She said in a slurred voice. Closing her eyes she let the burning sensation completely take over her body letting it take her to hell; she knew that was where she was going and she accepted that with open arms. After all it had to be better then the life she was leaving.
Ooh, oh
Walking through life unnoticed
Knowing that no one cares
Too consumed in their masquerade
No one sees her there
And still she sings
The rain had finally stopped; it was as if the sky and the Earth knew what she was feeling and was sad for her. Sad for the fact she had lived the life she had lived; for the fact she wanted to end it. Many people had walked by the alley she was slumped in and all ignored the blood and rained soaked girl. It didn't matter to anyone that she was there; that she was dieing slowly. Though two people did; two cops that were patrolling the old abandoned warehouse had come across her. The one frantically got on his radio calling for an ambulance while the other one kneeled down next to her checking for a pulse. He sighed in relief when he found one though it was weak it was a pulse none the less; it was the thing keeping her alive, showing them that she was still alive; still in this world.
She had woken up in a bright white colored room her world spinning as she sat up. 'Is this heaven?' she thought to herself as she looked around. It wasn't until her vision cleared up more did she see all the machines around the room. Some were hooked up to herself by tubes or wires and others were just in there it seemed. "Did someone find me?" She asked out loud her voice sounding choked and unused. Blinking a few times as she sat there her back up against the pillows looking down at her wrists that were bandaged in white gauze she thought about her past, the present and most of all the future she apparently now still had. Pulling whatever tubes and wires that were attacked from her she had made her choice. She was going to live and she was going to get revenge on those who deserve her wrath.
Pulling her blankets off of herself she quickly ran to the window. She could hear the sound of feet running; resounding off the walls. Opening the window she jumped unto the window sill looking down. So it seemed she would be getting her exercise was the thought going through her mind as she jumped out of the window land perfectly her knees bent and her one hand placed on the ground so she didn't fall forward. Looking up at the window that she counted to be about five windows up she smiled as she walked away the wind blowing her hair as she went.
She looked around the city at all the people as she walked around trying to find a cheap place to get clothing of any sort. She shook her head sadly at them; did they really know what life was or better yet how life truly was. She didn't think they did and if they did they just pretended their life was perfect hiding behind a mask. She laughed to herself so that's what it was life was a masquerade why hadn't she figured it out before she would never know. They didn't see her or bother her as she walked down the sidewalks in only a hospital gown and if they didn't they didn't show it. Closing her eyes softly for just a second she started to hum the song from the old music box once again as she continued to walk.
Till everything burns
While everyone screams
Burning their lies
Burning my dreams
All of this hate
And all of this pain
I'll burn it all down
As my anger reigns
She had finally found a cheap shop that was own by a nice elderly lady. She was kind enough to give her a nice dress the actually fit her small figure because of the state the young girl appeared it. So it seemed not everyone was cold heart but she was still on a mission and she was going to full fill it as best she could. Her eyes scanned the street she was on. She had asked if the elderly lady knew where a good and cheap possibly free gym was; to her happiness the lady had and was kind enough to tell her how to get to it. When her blue eyes spotted the place she walked up to it. "It must be new." She mussed to herself as she looked at the brightly colored bricks and the fresh looking paint that was on the sign. It read simply 'Work hard and it's on us' "It can't get any better then that." She said to herself as she walked into the building.
She could see the machines and the simple things used to exercise and train for fighting littered around the front room. The few men that were scattered around the front part of the building looked at her as if she was a ghost; though she couldn't blame them because she was sure that a girl especially on as frail looking as she herself was, was never spotted in a gym. Let alone a gym that had a sign hanging on its window that said work hard and it's free. But she ignored the stares and the screams that were now coming out of the back room. She assumed it was a fighting ring because when someone had walked out of the room she caught a glimpse of what looked like one. One could never be sure but the scream had proved that someone had just lost a fight in an agonizing way.
Walking over to the first punching bag that was free she grinned happily at it feeling just an ounce of pity for the poor thing that was soon to be punched at. Taking a fighting stance she began to take out her feelings on the bag; allowing herself to feeling that same burning feeling she had come to love that night in the alley next to the abandoned warehouse. It had once again washed through her burning out all of the lies she was told from people; all the dreams she had built as a child for herself that was crushed in seconds and most of all for all the emotions she couldn't let out anymore, as well as the tears. It was apparently as simple as beating the living day lights out of a bag that hadn't done a thing to her to get that felling back. Her reflexes were amazing thanks to the side of her she had gotten from her mother she was sure since she never really knew her father.
Closing her eyes for a split second she imagined the bag being her ex as she hit it allowing the pain he caused and the hate she now felt for him out. Pelting the bag as hard as she could with her tiny fist throwing punch after punch after punch not noticing that the skin on her knuckles had stared to split and the bandages around her wrist started to turn a reddish brown color in a straight line. It didn't phase her because she was glad to be getting the anger out; the pain and the sadness of what her life had turned into out.
(All fade away)
Everyone screams
Everyone screams
(Watching it all fade away)
Oooh, ooh
(While everyone screams)
Burning down lies
Burning my dreams
(All of this hate)
And all of this pain
I'll burn it all down
As my anger reigns
Till everything burns
She had gone back to that gym on many occasions especially when she wasn't working at her job. It had been a few months since she had tried to kill herself and she was living in a better place then before. It was a cheap studio apartment with walls and ceilings that didn't look like they would fall on her any day. Her small fragile figure had turned for the better; she no longer looked frail but she looked small and strong. A week of continuously going to the gym the owner went up to her and asked her if she wanted to try fighting in a match. She was glad she did because it brought the feeling she loved so much back in a stronger feeling.
She had purchased a pair of Sais with the money she had earned working at a bar in the center of Japan. She would finally be able to start her plan; her choice. Putting the hilt for the Sais's on her upper thighs she placed them in and jumped up to the roof a grin plastered on her face. She had gotten a call for the ad she had placed out the other day; it read 'Are you in an abusive relationship and need help getting out. Look no farther. Well kill for whatever you can afford'; she was just waiting to buy her weapon of choice. She watched the world fade as she jumped from building to building her eyes turning a dangerous dark blue at the thought of killing someone who deserved it.
In the back of her mind she could hear the man in front of her scream as she pulled the now bloody Sais out from his chest but she paid no heed to it. She wanted to get revenge and burn the men who would not only harm women but who would lie to them letting them believe that they would love and protect them and then change as fast as you could make a penny. Her dreams as a child had burned down in a flaming grave but now, now she had new dreams for herself and she wasn't going to let them die as easily as they had done before. With one final blow she severed the man's head from his body blood spraying everywhere, including the outfit she was wearing but once again she paid no heed to it as her mind wondered back to the past back to the pain and the hate she still felt but knew with every kill and every time she went to the gym it would burn away for awhile as she released her anger out on the people who ruined the lives of women.
If the man behind her was still alive he would have seen the fire that was burning in her at the thought of it all. He would have feared for his life more then he had the moment he saw her walking towards him a sick and twisted grin plastered across her face.
Watching it all fade away
(Oooh, ooh)
(Everything burns)
Watching it all fade away
She walked down the street walking back to tell the women she had no need to fear for her life anymore and that she was free to live how she wanted. She knew whatever life she wanted as a child had faded away and she didn't seem to mind as much now since she never got to live it; never got to know what it would be like to have happiness except for when she felt the burn the burn of everything going away. She found it stupid that she would miss something she never had; something that no matter what she did would never happen.
And she knew that when she told that women she had kill her boyfriend and that she was free that everything would fade all of it the world, her safe haven, and especially the feeling she had accumulated while killing the man; the feeling of everything burning out of her. Her blue eyes scanned the street making sure no one was around as she walked into the alley the woman was told to meet her at. She left soon after the woman happy and crying that her life would once more be okay. Though the purple haired girl knew, just knew that life would never be okay and would one day completely fade away.
Though she believed that, it wasn't until one day at the gym she meant a man that started to train. Mamoru was his name and for some reason she couldn't get him off of her mind. He had treated he so much more differently; he had even trust her enough to not kill him when her eyes turned a dangerous dark blue color while they were fighting in the ring. She didn't trust people easily especially men but some how she didn't know how he had wormed his way into her heart. It wasn't until he was in a fight in the ring and he had missed a punch causing him to fall out of the ring back into a bench did she realize what he meant to her. He had been her only friend through the months; she had even told him about her second job besides the bar and he hadn't mind even though he didn't know her past he had a feeling she had a reason.
"Are you sure you're okay?" She asked him for what seemed to be the hundredth time. She was walking him home after they had found a piece of wood had splintered and stabbed his back.
"Yes Usagi-chan I'm fine no need to worry." Mamoru said placing his arm around her shoulder. "Would you like to go out with me?" He asked her completely out of the blue. He could tell though she was surprised because her blue eyes looked up at him in shook or denial he wasn't sure.
"I don't know." She said in a small voice looking down at her feet. She hadn't moved away from his arm whether because she didn't mind it there or she just forgot her had placed it there was unknown to him.
"I won't hurt you. Why would I, I like you too much; plus I know you could hurt me if I did anything stupid or cruel to you." He said stopping dead in his path when he felt her wrap her small arms around his waist, her head nodding up and down. He smiled in a relief as he wrapped his large arms around her happily.
Years later she would look back at this day and know it was the day her child hood dreams came back and she knew it would be the day everything around them faded away into nothing but the two of them and her past was worth living because she had meant him.
A/N: To all of those reading New Chance I am sorry it is taking me so long to write you see I am at lost as to how to write my last few chapters. Though chapter 15 has finally been started it will be my last chapter of that story until I can figure out how to finish is in a great way. Plus I promise with that NOT to end it with a Clift hanger. Plus I will be writing out the chapters to my other story Face Down. Thank you and please review and tell me what you think.
