The Horror of FUNimation!!!
By: Special K-chan
WARNING: The following fic contains terrible yet true facts about FUNimation. I mean that this is a real sick story and may not be suitable for any Otaku.
Somewhere, a man and his company wait. They have destroyed the lives of our heroes but have yet to be killed. They show up periodically and leave a while later. Goku and the gang tried many times to locate their hideout but failed. There is nothing they can do but defend themselves.
It was a sunny day at Kame house. The bright mid-day sun shown brightly. The waves lapped up against the beach. A cool breeze blew and the scent of tropical flowers filled the air. Seagulls were squawking loudly as they fought each other for fish. Everyone was enjoying themselves at the barbeque. Goku was starring at the hamburgers as Kuririn flipped them. ChiChi was making sure Gohan got a little studying in before dinner. Bulma and Vegeta were arguing again. And Kamesennin was reading some "magazines."
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a humongous ki was felt. But this was an evil ki. More evil then Radditz, the Ginyuu Force, Freeza, King Kold, the Artificial Humans, or Cell. This was a ki so evil but what was it??? Was it them? They were back already?!?
Suddenly, horrible mono tone background music filled the air. Everyone held their head in pain. "Noooo! Make it stop!" Cried Kuririn. This just wasn't any music. It was horrible music from an electronic keyboard that had no tempo, no words, or even a good beat. It was more horrible then hearing fingernails against a chalkboard.
"This can't be happening! Those fools are back already???" shouted Vegeta as he powered up to Super Saiya-jin. Goku looked over at his fellow Saiya-jin, and then at Gohan who went SSJ2. Goku himself powered up. "They are back. Vegeta, Gohan! I want you two to fight your best this time, we've been training and maybe we can stop them this time." Vegeta and Gohan nodded. Goku's eyes widened in surprise. as Gen Fukunaga flew out down from the sky with his henchmen and his assistant Barry Watson. "They will not leave this time. It ends now!" Vegeta said angrily.
Goku, Gohan, and Vegeta got in a defense stance. All of a sudden, Goku's rage exploded and he let out an ear splitting scream. "YOU....YOU...BAST-"Just as he was going to say "bastards" his lips formed into a different shape and he yelled out "You dirty rats!" Everyone stared at him in disbelief.
Kamesennin looked up. Suddenly Gen walked over to him. "What are ya reading, Master Roshi?" he asked. Even though Gen was very evil and powerful, Kamesennin stood his ground."First of all, my name is Kamesennin or Muten Roshi. Not Master Roshi. And I'm reading a magazine." Gen's lips curled up into an evil snarl. Suddenly he ripped the mag out of the old man's hands and examined it. His beady little eyes narrowed. "This content is unsuitable for the children of America." he said as he pulled out his Digital Paintbrush version 5.0 and began to paint up Kamesennin's reading material. "Oh noooo..." he cried as bathing suits were painted upon the nude women. Smirking, Gen walked over to Bulma. Barry folded his arms and laughed insanely.
"It seems you are showing off too much skin miss. Kids might get the wrong idea." hissed the psycho. Just as Gen was going to attack Bulma with his censoring device, Vegeta grabbed his wrist. "Do anything to her punk and you'll be dealing with me." the Prince of all Saiya-jins said in a harsh tone. He looked over at Bulma. "Run, now!" he commanded. Bulma looked up in disbelief. "Vegeta No! You'll get hurt!" Vegeta looked back at her seriously. "If it means I can protect you, it's all worth it." he said bravely. "...Vegeta..." whispered Bulma, on the verge of tears. She looked back one last time and ran over to safety near ChiChi.
Gen simply smiled. "Get 'em boys." he said as he gestured towards Vegeta. Suddenly Vegeta's scream was heard. It was so loud it drowned out the background music. In a few minutes, Vegeta's "remains" stood in his place. Bulma ran back over to him. "Why... Vegeta? Why did you have to..." unable to finish her sentence, she cried silently against his shoulder. "Bulma wait it's dangerous!" yelled ChiChi as she came over to comfort her friend. She sat beside her.
Where Vegeta's normal Saiya-jin armor was, a low cut purple velvet dress stood in it's place. He had painted on breasts. A blonde wig adorned his head. Red lipstick covered his lips and blush smothered his cheeks. Eye lashes were painted on and so was a fake smile. Ruby slippers and a matching headband completed the outfit. "It's a little trick we picked up from the our friends at DiC who dubbed Sailor Moon." Gen said, smirking. "How to make a man a woman." Vegeta eyes shown shock and terror. Bulma looked up at Gen. "Why? Why are you so evil?" she asked though her tears. "We are what we are and that's that. Nothing will change FUNimation." Gen said cruelly as Bulma tried desperately to comfort her husband. Then he walked over to Goku.
"You evil son of a-" Goku said through clenched teeth. But then he was once cut off. "Son of a monkey." he finished. His eyes flashed with anger. "How could you do this???" Gohan and Kuririn walked behind him while Kamesennin went over to Bulma, Vegeta, and ChiChi. Goku and Gohan looked ready to attack. They were both charging up for a kamehameha attack.
"Ka....me..." Goku started. "Ha...me..." Gohan followed. As they were just about to scream "HA!" Gen cut in. "Kamehameha? You mean "Camayamaya, right?" he laughed evilly and The two Saiya-jin's once powerful attacks began to change. At the same time they both started screaming "Camayamaya." and firing weak ki blasts. The Gen laughed again. "And what about you, Krillin?" "How about a destructo disc?" he asked. At once he started attacking. Gen, Barry, and the others absorbed it along with Goku and Gohan's blasts. After a long time, the tired warriors fell.
"Oh no...what has he done?" cried ChiChi to Bulma. Both women were shaking in fear. They both started to cry when all of a sudden the eternal dragon, Shenron, appeared.
"This is the last time you have caused trouble to this world." he growled. "True, I am summoned by the Dragonballs but since you painted them over I had to come here on my own. Say your last goodbyes." All of a sudden, his eyes flashed red and there was a white light...
Birds chirped and butterflies floated all around Kame House. Bulma and ChiChi were chatting while Goku and Gohan were sparring. Vegeta was sitting down quietly watching the waves. Kamesennin was looking at his pictures with interest while Kuririn tried to keep a decent conversation with him."Great day, huh Gohan?" asked Goku cheerfully. "Yeah dad! It had been great!" Gohan replied laughing.
While all this happened, Shenron watched. "I have rid you and your memories of FUNimation...now I will return." With that, he left.