This is my own twisted take on Grandmaster's arrest and kicking out party from the WWF. It's really me rambling, but with my Great writing skills *rolls eyes* I turned it into his view. Of course it's got a little bit of conspiracy in it. Lately, I've been questioning something's, so of course my muses decided "Lets make all of Sarah's new characters paranoid! Yay! That'll be fun!". Thanks muses.... I hold no grudges towards Jerry Lawler. I just think Brian might, so I wrote about it... No flames! The couple of people he mentions is Stacy (The Kat) Dad/Jerry/the king (Jerry Lawler) Mark (Undertaker) Glenn (Kane) Brian (Road Dogg) I mention Spike Dudley for Tracy ;) You're welcome! Hehe. There might be a part 2 if people like it (Hell, I can't just LEAVE him in jail, can I??) So please review and Rock on! The WWF owns most of these characters (Grandmaster is now his own person. But I bet he can't use that name anymore... Damn lawyers) and The Wallflowers are owned by themselves, cuz they're cool and Mario is hot. :)
The last hooray of the Lawler dynasty has ended. Sigh. Sometimes I wonder about that so called 'dynasty' Dad was always talking about. Honestly and truly it was always me and him. Well, us and Stacy. She's more or less who got us into this mess. The reasoning of why, I her stepson is sitting in this cold, hard jail cell next to some scary guy named Bubba. He's even more scary then Mark and Glenn together! Woah! Riiiiight, Come'on Brian back to the story... My father, the ladies man. You ever see the tv show, Titus?? Well, that's my dad. Minus the drinking and smoking. He taught his children how to be grownups at in a short amount of time. Oh yeah, and the women. Every week it was a new 'mother'. They would always be sweet to me, but the second Dad turned his back... They turned ugly. Even uglier then the short amount of clothing they called clothes. Finally he settled down with Stacy. I have no complaints there. She's always been very nice to me.
This all started at an early age. I was the least athletic of the sons, so Dad picked on me. He was The King after all. As soon as I hit puberty my dad started showing me the ropes of wrestling. My other brothers all were really into the sport as teens, but as they grew up, they found other jobs that they were better at. One became a Wall Street suit. The other a freelance writer. And I, Brian Christopher, the one that no one thought could do anything with my life, I started wrestling. Through out my relativity short life span, I have been the SWA Heavyweight Champion, Southern Heavyweight Champion, Texas Heavyweight Champion, USWA Tag Champion, Mid-America Heavyweight Champion and the Tag-Team Champion a couple times. Yet as my father ever taken the time to say "Congrats Son"??? Nope. Wow, to say that I'm his son.... There's a stretch of the imagination. He's made Tony Williams and Scott Taylor into honorary "sons" but not me. I've gotten better. My doctor, she tells me not to think about it to much.
Anyway, enough of me and my screwed up family life. What is the reason I'm in a dark, old Canadian jail cell, you ask?? Family problems. Yep. Ya see, not to long ago, people started thinking that Stacy had been getting to full of herself, that being Joanie's little mini-me had gone to her head. Well, it hadn't. The all powerful Vince McMahon, excuse me while I roll my eyes, he never liked her to much and finally found a good rumor to use. Well, my Dad, I'll have to hand it to him. The second. And I mean SECOND, he heard about his wife being fired, he marched (all right ran) down the hall and wanted some answers. Sadly the answers he got was Vince's mind games and my Dad (thinking Vince wouldn't be stupid enough to go through with it) quit. My Dad came home to Tennessee waiting for the call to come saying "Haha. April fools." Sadly it wasn't April and it wasn't a joke. Then my Dad realized that he was never going to get his job back, so he made a large stink about it to many different reporters and of course his web page. This got Vince ANGRY... I mean even madder then when Sable sued the company a while ago. I guess my dad did have more fans then first guessed, because calls, letters, signs in the audience (well before they were confiscated anyway) all told him that the fans wanted Their King back. Vince had no where to put his anger, so he aimed it at the last remaining Lawler. Thanks dad. Well, poor Scott hurt his neck real bad and to let him go and get surgery, Kurt Angle "snapped" his ankle. From an 'injury' like that... I think when Scott heals, he won't be coming back. So there was just me left. I've always been the quiet one, so for a while nothing happened. Then I was paired up with Steve Blackman. That guy is scary. You could beat him up for 4 hours and he still wouldn't flinch. Well, then for some weird reason, the fans seemed to like the odd pairing of us. Sadly Steve and I weren't the only one's to see that. Vince was angry as hell!
Oh then it got worst. I let my emotions get the best of me and Vince's old...umm.... female friend, decided she thought I was cute. I won't lie, I am quite a handsome devil if I do say so myself. So now, not only was I a Lawler, but I was dating the boss's ex. The spiteful boss. The vengeful boss. Tonight I was supposed to be in a match with Steve and Trish. I was driving to the arena and stopped. *Someone* called the cops on my car. Seems I had some "illegal contraband" in the truck. Bull! I'm a role model to millions of kids! I would NEVER (to steal a catchphrase from Chris Jericho) Eveeeer! do something so Stupid like that! The only drugs I've ever taken, were the allergy kind. Oh yeah, they found those too. They think I was popping them. What the hell?? Please! You know.... This sure sounds like a set up. Perhaps it's cuz I've been watching a lot of Walker Texas Ranger, maybe.... but it could also be because I am the bastard son of Jerry the King Lawler. I'm going to take the $600 Alex. God! I should've known something like this would happen! The guys in the locker room all said this is what happened to poor Brian. Sigh. Well, that's why I'm in this hole. Vince paid somebody off really well, I'm not even aloud to make a phone call. That's why I'm writing this all out on this paper. I've told *glurp* Bubba, if something should happen to me, to give this to my dad. Just my luck I find one of his fans in a county jail, huh? Well, hopefully Bubba will give this to him. If not... well... I don't know what I'm going to do. No one knows where I am, I'll never be able to call them, I'll die in here, God why me? Why'd you pick me to be a Lawler? Well, at least I did follow my dad's footsteps, I'm kicked out of the WWF. This means (if what happens to my dad happens to me) I'll never be able to talk to anyone. No Steve, none of the Chris's, even little Spike Dudley. None of my friends. A Wallflowers song comes to my mind. ~~And I can't break away from this parade. But there's got to be an opening. Somewhere here in front of me. Through this maze of ugliness and greed~~ from One Headlight. Yep. At least the greed and evil of the wwf will be over. Maybe Daddy will let me wrestle at his Memphis shows. I can see it.
The last hooray of the Lawler dynasty has ended. Sigh. Sometimes I wonder about that so called 'dynasty' Dad was always talking about. Honestly and truly it was always me and him. Well, us and Stacy. She's more or less who got us into this mess. The reasoning of why, I her stepson is sitting in this cold, hard jail cell next to some scary guy named Bubba. He's even more scary then Mark and Glenn together! Woah! Riiiiight, Come'on Brian back to the story... My father, the ladies man. You ever see the tv show, Titus?? Well, that's my dad. Minus the drinking and smoking. He taught his children how to be grownups at in a short amount of time. Oh yeah, and the women. Every week it was a new 'mother'. They would always be sweet to me, but the second Dad turned his back... They turned ugly. Even uglier then the short amount of clothing they called clothes. Finally he settled down with Stacy. I have no complaints there. She's always been very nice to me.
This all started at an early age. I was the least athletic of the sons, so Dad picked on me. He was The King after all. As soon as I hit puberty my dad started showing me the ropes of wrestling. My other brothers all were really into the sport as teens, but as they grew up, they found other jobs that they were better at. One became a Wall Street suit. The other a freelance writer. And I, Brian Christopher, the one that no one thought could do anything with my life, I started wrestling. Through out my relativity short life span, I have been the SWA Heavyweight Champion, Southern Heavyweight Champion, Texas Heavyweight Champion, USWA Tag Champion, Mid-America Heavyweight Champion and the Tag-Team Champion a couple times. Yet as my father ever taken the time to say "Congrats Son"??? Nope. Wow, to say that I'm his son.... There's a stretch of the imagination. He's made Tony Williams and Scott Taylor into honorary "sons" but not me. I've gotten better. My doctor, she tells me not to think about it to much.
Anyway, enough of me and my screwed up family life. What is the reason I'm in a dark, old Canadian jail cell, you ask?? Family problems. Yep. Ya see, not to long ago, people started thinking that Stacy had been getting to full of herself, that being Joanie's little mini-me had gone to her head. Well, it hadn't. The all powerful Vince McMahon, excuse me while I roll my eyes, he never liked her to much and finally found a good rumor to use. Well, my Dad, I'll have to hand it to him. The second. And I mean SECOND, he heard about his wife being fired, he marched (all right ran) down the hall and wanted some answers. Sadly the answers he got was Vince's mind games and my Dad (thinking Vince wouldn't be stupid enough to go through with it) quit. My Dad came home to Tennessee waiting for the call to come saying "Haha. April fools." Sadly it wasn't April and it wasn't a joke. Then my Dad realized that he was never going to get his job back, so he made a large stink about it to many different reporters and of course his web page. This got Vince ANGRY... I mean even madder then when Sable sued the company a while ago. I guess my dad did have more fans then first guessed, because calls, letters, signs in the audience (well before they were confiscated anyway) all told him that the fans wanted Their King back. Vince had no where to put his anger, so he aimed it at the last remaining Lawler. Thanks dad. Well, poor Scott hurt his neck real bad and to let him go and get surgery, Kurt Angle "snapped" his ankle. From an 'injury' like that... I think when Scott heals, he won't be coming back. So there was just me left. I've always been the quiet one, so for a while nothing happened. Then I was paired up with Steve Blackman. That guy is scary. You could beat him up for 4 hours and he still wouldn't flinch. Well, then for some weird reason, the fans seemed to like the odd pairing of us. Sadly Steve and I weren't the only one's to see that. Vince was angry as hell!
Oh then it got worst. I let my emotions get the best of me and Vince's old...umm.... female friend, decided she thought I was cute. I won't lie, I am quite a handsome devil if I do say so myself. So now, not only was I a Lawler, but I was dating the boss's ex. The spiteful boss. The vengeful boss. Tonight I was supposed to be in a match with Steve and Trish. I was driving to the arena and stopped. *Someone* called the cops on my car. Seems I had some "illegal contraband" in the truck. Bull! I'm a role model to millions of kids! I would NEVER (to steal a catchphrase from Chris Jericho) Eveeeer! do something so Stupid like that! The only drugs I've ever taken, were the allergy kind. Oh yeah, they found those too. They think I was popping them. What the hell?? Please! You know.... This sure sounds like a set up. Perhaps it's cuz I've been watching a lot of Walker Texas Ranger, maybe.... but it could also be because I am the bastard son of Jerry the King Lawler. I'm going to take the $600 Alex. God! I should've known something like this would happen! The guys in the locker room all said this is what happened to poor Brian. Sigh. Well, that's why I'm in this hole. Vince paid somebody off really well, I'm not even aloud to make a phone call. That's why I'm writing this all out on this paper. I've told *glurp* Bubba, if something should happen to me, to give this to my dad. Just my luck I find one of his fans in a county jail, huh? Well, hopefully Bubba will give this to him. If not... well... I don't know what I'm going to do. No one knows where I am, I'll never be able to call them, I'll die in here, God why me? Why'd you pick me to be a Lawler? Well, at least I did follow my dad's footsteps, I'm kicked out of the WWF. This means (if what happens to my dad happens to me) I'll never be able to talk to anyone. No Steve, none of the Chris's, even little Spike Dudley. None of my friends. A Wallflowers song comes to my mind. ~~And I can't break away from this parade. But there's got to be an opening. Somewhere here in front of me. Through this maze of ugliness and greed~~ from One Headlight. Yep. At least the greed and evil of the wwf will be over. Maybe Daddy will let me wrestle at his Memphis shows. I can see it.