Disclaimer: I don't own Wicked or Pirates but I do own the little twist I threw in there just to make it humorous. Oh for the love of Goodness, just read it. You'll enjoy it and when you do, you should thank me in a review. ;-)
Pirates: (Sung) Good news! She's dead!
The Pirate Witch of the West is dead!
The wickedest pirate there ever was
The enemy that caused all the buzz
Is dead!
Good news!
Good news!
Pintel: SPOKEN Look, it's Elizabeth!
Elizabeth: SPOKEN It's good to see me, isn't it? Pirates agree No need to respond. That was rhetorical. Fellow pirates:
SUNG Let us be glad, let us be grateful
Let us rejoicify that goodness could subdue,
The wicked workings of you-know-who
Isn't it nice to know
That good will conquer evil?
The truth we all believe'll by and by
Outlive a lie
For you and-
Marty: SPOKEN Elizabeth! Exactly how dead is she?
Elizabeth: SPOKEN Well, there has been much rumor and speculation...innuendo, outendo...but let me set the record straight. According to the Time Dragon Clock, the melting occured at the thirteenth hour; a direct result of a bucket of water thrown by a female child. Yes, the Wicked Pirate of the West is dead!
Ragetti: SUNG No one mourns the Wicked!
Gibbs: No one cries, they won't return!
Pirates: No one lays a lily on their grave.
Cotton's Parrot: The good man scorns the Wicked.
Giselle: Through their lives our children learn.
Pirates: What we miss when we misbehave.
Elizabeth: And Goodness knows
the Wicked's lives are lonely
Goodness knows
the Wicked die alone.
It just shows when you're Wicked
You're left only on your own.
Pirates: Yes, Goodness knows
The Wicked's lives are lonely
Goodness knows
The Wicked cry alone
Nothing grows for the Wicked
They reap only
What they've sown.
Scarlett: SPOKEN Elizabeth, why does wickedness happen?
Elizabeth: That's a good question; one that many people find confusifying. Are people born wicked, or do they have wickedness thrust upon them? After all, she had a childhood; she had a father, who just happened to be a Lord.
Beckett: I'm off to the assembly, dear.
Elizabeth: She had a mother, as so many do...
Beckett: SUNG How I hate to go and leave you lonely!
Tia Dalma: That's alright, it's only just one night.
Beckett: But know that you're here in my heart,
While I'm out of your sight!
Elizabeth: SPOKEN And like all families, they had their secrets.
Lover: SUNG Have another drink, my dark eyed beauty,
I've got one more night left here in town.
So have another drink of rummed elixer
And we'll have ourselves a little mixer.
Have another little swallow little lady
and follow me down!
Elizabeth: SPOKEN And of course, from the moment she was born, she was...well...different!
Midwife: SUNG Ahh! It's coming!
Beckett: Now?
Midwife: The baby's coming!
Beckett: And how!
Midwife: I see a nose!
Beckett: I see a curl!
Both: It's a healthy, perfect, lovely little...they scream
Tia Dalma: SPOKEN What is it? What's wrong?
Midwife: How can it be?
Beckett: What does it mean?
Midwife: It's attrocious!
Beckett: It's so unfair!
Both: The baby has an unnatural looking scar!
Beckett: Take it away...take it away!!!
Elizabeth: So you see, it couldn't have been easy!
Pirates (Elizabeth): SUNG No one mourns the Wicked
Now at last, she's dead and gone!
Now at last, there's joy throughout the land!
And goodness knows (Goodness knows)
We know what Goodness is (Oooohhhh)
Goodness knows, the wicked die alone (She died alone)
Woe to those (Woe to those)
Who spurn what Goddness is, they are shown!
No one mourns the Wicked! (Good news!)
No one mourns the Wicked! (Good news!)
No one mourns...the Wicked...Wicked...Wicked!!!
Elizabeth: SPOKEN Well, this has been fun! But as you can imagine, I have much to attend to, what with the Pirate's unexpected departure. So if there are no further questions...
Gillette: Elizabeth, is it true you were her friend?
Pirates: GASP
Elizabeth: Well, I...you see...um...yes.
Pirates: (Gasp Louder)
Elizabeth: Well, it depends on what you mean by "friend". I did know her. That is, our paths did cross...at school. But you must understand, it was a long time ago and we were both very young...