Hey, lookit me. My first post here and what do I do? Post a…Happy Noodle Boy fic. …oy. Ah well, read it anyways! And review, so my ego becomes more bloated and I actually get self-esteem! …*a-hem*
I wonder if anybody here would know me from the IZ section… ah, I dunno.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, not a thing, zip, zilch, nada, nil, Ect., Ect.
---
It was another fairly normal day. The psychopath that was known widely as Noodle Dude, also known as Happy Noodle Boy, walked through the park, whistling and carrying his trusty soapbox to another day at work.
Finding a place that he judged was good enough to play host to his insane rantings today, Happy Noodle Boy dropped his soapbox in front of a bench with two old people sitting on it. One of the old people was getting attacked by a pigeon.
Happy Noodle Boy cleared his voice, then started his usual yelling.
"Stupid flamers, ye dare make my brain hurt! PATHOS!! Eat your Ugleee candles for fresher breath! I hope yer stomach burn! 5, 3, 2!"
A small crowd was starting to form around Noodle Boy's soapbox. Choosing a random geeky guy with bad skin and extra-thick glasses, Happy Noodle Boy jumped down from his perch and grabbed the geek in a stranglehold, deciding that the geek was a flamer.
"PLAGERISMERS," Noodle Boy shrieked, "May eat mulch, for I can smell their collective asses! Whew, do it smell! Grape nuts!"
The geek was thoroughly terrified as Happy Noodle Boy dragged him along, screaming through the park.
"Fffuck, you Toaster!" Happy Noodle Boy then tossed the geek, spreading his arms and yelling some more. "I hope you rot in toasty hell! Mm, buttered toast! May shower mold gnaw on your head!"
A police officer ran through the gates of the park, having no trouble spotting Happy Noodle Boy. "Hey, Noodle Dude, You're insane n' stuff!"
Happy Noodle Boy stopped all movement, staring at the police officer before uttering his ending line. "……..Hello?"
The Police officer pulled out a gun and shot Happy Noodle Boy.
End
