Hi! Revamped version of my fic. I have still no beta reader though… still please read and review! Hope it is not too bad.
I have read so many fics lately that I hope I have not unwittingly plagiarised someone... please let me now if you feel otherwise.
Disclaimer: I don't own YnM or any of the characters. I hopefully have invented Sacha and Anya though.
(POV changes throughout. The first paragraph is from Hisoka's point of view-may not be too clear! Thanks Ruby-tears for pointing out! And %=memories and italics=thoughts)
Muraki. Things always started and ended with him. Like his own life. What did he have to do with all this. Why now. He had let down his guard he knew. The shock. The fear. The fear that Tsuzuki… That's where he had gone wrong.
%"You. of all people. You disgust me. Stay away from me. I hate you!! Stay away from me!"%
Why did I say that. The despair in the amethyst eyes. The sobs. The despair in Tsuzuki's heart. He should have looked at that. Instead he had only paid attention to his own fears. His fear of pain. Of pain from Tsuzuki. He must have forgotten what pain really meant then. But Muraki hadn't failed to remind him.
From the bed soaked in blood, Hisoka turned his gaze to the window. Where were they. This wasn't Japan. How long had it been...
"Two weeks. No news." Watari said absent-mindedly to his owl. Two weeks when no work had been done. Even by Tatsumi. They had searched the country far and wide and all they had come up with was that Muraki had left the country. With Bon. Two weeks when Tsuzuki had been in a state of shock. He kept repeating that it was in fact his fault. Tsuzuki hadn't said what happened, but he could guess. "Since he doesn't want you anyway, I have come to get him back. For good, maybe" He could guess the reaction as well. Hence the stroll in Chyou that had got Bon kidnapped. Had Muraki guessed too? Had Muraki thought that the curse was on the way to be broken? Maybe then he would give bon back alive. But in what state?
The door of the apartment had slammed. That's how he always knew when Muraki was back. Back for more pain and horror.
%"But this is the final time, boy"%
After taking what he wanted from him again, he had cut far and deep with his knife, and written some words on his neck. And now his wounds weren't healing. He was bleeding to death. He smirked as he thought the man had in fact little imagination.
So this was the end. Reminded him of that time in Nagasaki. But this time, no Tsuzuki bursting in, not here, not after what he had said.
%"I hate you"%
And Tsuzuki must hate him too now. I hate you. The last words Tsuzuki would remember him saying. For eternity. But this can't be. Shouldn't be. He gathered all his remaining strength.
The walk had taken them to St Paul's cathedral. It had been one of those rare sunny days in London. It was dusk now, fewer people walking around the church. Not many people to stare at the dark red pool and the semi-naked boy on the steps. Dirty white of the steps. The red of the blood. Pale white skin. A deja-vu had hit Sacha like a running train. Anya had just stared at him. "He should be dead. But he is breathing." "He is one of us. A shinigami like us." In the whim of a moment Sacha had made him invisible. When the man in white had walked into the square she had known why.
He was beautiful. Could have looked like an angel. If she hadn't been able to feel the darkness inside that was. Like the deepest of pools. One she had no intention in diving herself in. He was courteous and might have looked concerned enough about the boy. If she hadn't felt the fury inside, the fury that the boy had escaped him. Sacha shivered. Anya and her had just made a far too powerful enemy.
Tatsumi burst in without knocking. Very unlike Tatsumi. "You should come to Kacho's office." His face promised no good news. Tsuzuki heart sank. Really he hadn't known it could sink any deeper. But here it was at a new lowest. Because as he followed Tatsumi he already knew. Because as he confronted the stricken faces of Konoe and gushojin and Watari he already knew.
"Kurosaki-kun is dead."
Hisoka was dead.
And he had been wrong again. His heart sank even lower.
He vowed Muraki was going to die for this.
Sacha's eyes scanned the screen. Every line of this boy's life story was like a stab to her heart. She let tears flow from her eyes. All shinigami had fucked up stories. All shinigami had suffered, or else they just didn't get here. But this was beyond belief. Anya's gaze instead was fixed on the line at the top of the page. Deceased, it read. Soul entered Meifu 15th May. "So we only saved a remnant. Great" Her voice sounded hurt. She too had wanted to help. "We should report to above. It's their territory. They will get so much shit. A foreign shinigami dies on their territory and they didn't even know he was there." "He wasn't reported missing. How stupid of them. Should have let the pride go for once." Sacha's voice was like a whisper. "HIs friends are here. Or rather up there whatever. Have been enlisted to help look for Muraki. Can you imagine if they saw him... No point really. His body will die soon enough, with nothing but the remnant of a soul. Let's just wait until it's over." Anya glanced at the boy. A young boy. Raped and killed and then raped and killed again. "Muraki should pay for this."
Tatsumi looked out of the window into the clouds that covered the sky, as usual in London. He and Tsuzuki were having a hard time working with the English shinigamis. For one thing he personally blamed them for the death. Tsuzuki rather blamed himself which was good in the way that he wasn't going to return the favour by killing some of the local shinigamis. Just how much his own affection for Kurosaki-kun had grown he had not known until now. And now it was too late. When he had first heard of his reaction to Tsuzuki's confession he had felt rage at the boy. But now he understood. And now it was too late.
Anyway, even though he now was no longer laying low, Muraki was proving hard to find. Not that they had a clear idea of what to do if they found him. All had proved insufficient up to now. Tatsumi had a feeling Tsuzuki would try to use Touda again. Who was going to jump in the flames to save him this time. Tatsumi? Even if he did, he doubt his friend would accept to come out.
Another useless day. And the pain wasn't getting any less.
"Ok. This is not happening. Yesterday I felt his dreams. And now he's conscious. He is meant to be dead. A remnant. He is here. He is alive."
"You sure? He is not looking at us, not talking to us."
"He is blind. Mu-whatever the guy is called- made him blind. And he is scared. Who wouldn't? He can't trust us. But I can feel him. I can't penetrate his barriers, he is stronger than me. I feel him trying to penetrate mine. And yours too for the matter."
"A kagemusha then? Gee, I don't want to meet that guy for sure."
Sacha didn't reply. "Sach? What's up?"
"I am up. Konnichi wa, Anya-san." A chilling voice cut the air like a knife and Anya turned to look at the man in white standing at the door.
"You have to come. Now." Taylor stood at the door, looking pannic-stricken. Staring at his section chief like he was transparent. "Anya's here. Covered in blood. Her own. She's talking... she's saying Muraki did it." Tatsumi had understood enough to nudge Tsuzuki to move. The girl was really covered in blood. And trying to fight back a panic attack. But she spoke Japanese well enough for them to understand the important bits. "We should have told you earlier.. But we thought he was a remnant. He was barely alive when we found him. He didn't die and then he regained consciousness this morning and we were going to tell you and then the guy Mu-something showed up. And Sacha teleported herself and the boy out of trouble but he is going to find them soon." Tsuzuki couldn't believe his ears. He must be dreaming.. "Are you saying.." The girl looked straight at him and cut him short "Yes. Your partner is alive, that's what I am saying. But if you do not go soon and try to stop the man in white, your joy is going to be short lived."
Muraki had found them again. He couldn't see him of course, but he knew he was there. The barrier the girl had put up was strong. But it wouldn't hold for long. So was it the end again? How many time had he thought that lately? And who were these girls anyway? Anya and Sacha. He had heard about them. the way you hear about legends. The first shinigami to go freelance, a trend that had't caught up in the far east at all. Experienced, powerful. They still couldn't stand up to Muraki. How could they then? How could he, blind as he was?
"Muraki". A voice hissed from the darkness that was now all around him. A familiar voice. A warm and loved voice. It couldn't be, could it? He stretched out to feel for him. "Long time no see, Tsuzuki-san."
He had come despite all. He had come again. Come for him.
The shiki weren't helping though. Muraki had become even more powerful. How did he do it. Still a mystery. Tsuzuki looked over to his partner, on the other side of the room. Anya had mentioned he was blind. He was so far away. He would have liked to hold him just once, before going. Because there was no way out of this, Muraki was so in control this time. And the girl, Sacha, had taken over again with her magic, but she was at the end of her tether, wasn't she. One more hit... And there she goes. Tsuzuki looked at Muraki as he was getting ready to take his last strike. Directly at him. He met the silver eyes, full of arrogance and powerlust.
Hisoka felt something.
Listen to me. You are more powerful than I am. I am experience but magic is more a thing you feel than a thing you learn. And you can do it. You can face up to him. Goddamit, it doesn't matter that you are blind, you are a bloody empath! You have come all this way so he would know you don't hate him, but this way he is never going to."%
%"HIsoka.. I love you." "Stay away from me I hate you."%
%Hisoka.. I love you"%
And Tsuzuki felt something.
Muraki's eyes widened in surprise when his spell met a strong barrier. The girl was crouched on the floor half unconscious. Who was holding the barrier up? Could it be... "But you are blind"
"I am an empath, I don't need my own eyes." Tsuzuki's are fine actually, he wanted to add. %You feel magic% Hisoka turned his face to where he knew the tall man stood. He let the power flow and send him crashing again the wall. For the first time in a long time Muraki actually looked scared. He hit as strong as he could. He was facing Muraki and he hesitated. He had killed only once before... But that moment of hesitation was enough for Muraki to teleport himself out of trouble. "Damn"
They hadn't died and Muraki was gone for the time being. And Hisoka was alive.
"Hisoka.." Just saying the name filled him of joy. Whether he hated him or loved him it no longer mattered. He was alive and that was enough. He was ready to leave Meifu and reincarnate now if that was what the boy wanted. Automatically Tsuzuki motioned towards the boy... Then he stopped. %Stay away from me. I hate you%
Hisoka felt him stop. He felt the hesitation, the unconditional care, the joy, the desire to hold him and the will to restrain, forever. And he felt his own trepidation and joy and care and did what made sense. he flung himself in the arms of his partner and started to cry. "Gomen...I lied. I don't. I don't hate you. I...just got so scared."
"I don't care anymore. I will do whatever you want. Disappear from sight now, stay forever. I don't care if you love me or hate me, you are here. You are alive. That is enough. For me to carry on." Tsuzuki let his tears mesh with that of his blonde love as he wrapped his arms around him. If this moment lasted forever, that would be bliss, he thought to himself. He stayed there, oblivious of Tatsumi whose eyes had also turned watery, and of the girls who were trying to get up and couldn't stop smiling.
And Hisoka stayed there also oblivious. Just happy to be with the man he had finally admitted to himself he loved.