~Part 1~
I've always been a loner. I've lost track of how many times I've been hurt; I keep saying I never want to love again. But it inevitably happens, and it's happened again. Yesterday I caught him staring at me again. When we're on missions he's overprotective almost to a fault. I've gotten under his skin and we both know it. I need to be closer to him; want to wake up next to him, but I'm terrified to let him in. Maybe he is too. I love him too much - can just being best friends ever be enough?
~Part 2~
I've been recovering from the emotional rollercoaster of the ordeal with the Unas and discovering Rothman was dead. I'm feeling better now, thanks to SG-1's patience and friendship, especially Jack. Lately I've been thinking about the episode in the elevator before all that happened. He reached for me and adjusted my glasses. Guess he forgot for a moment that Sam and Jacob were standing right there. It was one of the most intimate (non-sexual) touches I've ever received. It was only our audience that prevented me from stepping into an embrace with him. Something's got to give, and soon.
~Part 3~
Today Sam came by to see how I was doing. After a few minutes, she brought up the 'glasses in the elevator' incident. Not a lot gets past her... She said she thought Jack and I were doing a great job of concealing our relationship, but even to an 'untrained' eye, that one was a little obvious. She didn't believe me at first when I said there wasn't one. So I finally confessed my secret to her. She agrees that Jack must feel the same way about me. She's going to help me decide what to do about it.
~Part 4~
Sam's funny, she's in full 'plot' mode now. I think she wants to see Jack and me together as much as I do. She says life is too short to waste time when you've found someone you love. I don't want to just blurt it out or catch him completely off guard - that'd be too risky. Our plan is, I'll ask Jack out to dinner this weekend, nothing unusual about that. We'll both be relaxed, and I'll start talking about the relationship we have. Hopefully I'll be able to judge by his reaction whether to tell him sometime later.
~Part 5~
Dinner with Jack went well. We agreed that each of us is the best friend the other has ever had, and that it's sometimes difficult for people like us to be as close as we are. We've both been hurt too many times, are afraid to really let people in. There was so much more I wanted to say to him. It can wait. Somehow it seemed like there was more he wanted to tell me as well, an air of wistful hesitancy. I don't know if I imagined it - could it be possible he feels the same?
~Part 6~
I told Sam all about my 'date' with Jack. I described his facial expressions, the tone of his voice, while we were talking. She thinks something is up, but isn't sure since she wasn't there. Sam is a great friend too - like the sister I never had. Like Jack, she's a little overprotective at times, but I know she has my best interests at heart. She worries that if I don't get my feelings for Jack off my chest, I might end up compromising us on missions. I think she could be right. Now to get the courage...
~Part 7~
While Sam and I were talking, pretending to be working on a translation, Jack came by and invited us to his house tonight for an impromptu barbecue. He said Teal'c had already agreed. We're wondering what's gotten him in such a good mood. Sam said she saw a twinkle in his eye when I said yes. I'm glad I get to spend more time with him off-base. Just make sure he drinks enough, but not too much... I'll get him alone somewhere, tell him while Sam and Teal'c are there. That way if things go bad, they'll be there.
~Part 8~
Sam and I have agreed on a plan. We will all be drinking, of course. I'll make sure to pace myself, and we're sure Jack will be his usual happy and affectionate self when he drinks. When it's appropriate, she and I usually try to wait to give Jack bad news until he's off-base and "happy drunk." When we've been able to, the results have always been better than if we had said something while he was in Colonel persona. I just hope that his behavior follows previously observed patterns, and he doesn't figure out we're up to something.
~Part 9~
Jack is giving me no end of hell for writing in my journal at a party. I fibbed, telling him I was writing down some thoughts on today's translation. He's truly in his bailiwick; playing host to your dearest friends is more fun than more formal occasions. He is talking and laughing easily, and looks gorgeous in dark green silk and tight jeans. Oops, better be careful what I'm thinking about. Don't want to get a hard-on now. That would surely ruin things. I actually feel pretty confident this will go well. I hope I'm not wrong about this.
~Part 10~
I have got to be the luckiest person in the world. It took all my resolve to tell Jack I love him. I thought for a moment that he was going to faint. Well, before he took my face in his hands and gave me the sweetest, most intense kiss of my life. I may have lost a lot in my life, but now I have Jack and he's the most important thing I can think of. And it looks like he won't be going anywhere anytime soon. Now all we have to do is start planning our future.
I've always been a loner. I've lost track of how many times I've been hurt; I keep saying I never want to love again. But it inevitably happens, and it's happened again. Yesterday I caught him staring at me again. When we're on missions he's overprotective almost to a fault. I've gotten under his skin and we both know it. I need to be closer to him; want to wake up next to him, but I'm terrified to let him in. Maybe he is too. I love him too much - can just being best friends ever be enough?
~Part 2~
I've been recovering from the emotional rollercoaster of the ordeal with the Unas and discovering Rothman was dead. I'm feeling better now, thanks to SG-1's patience and friendship, especially Jack. Lately I've been thinking about the episode in the elevator before all that happened. He reached for me and adjusted my glasses. Guess he forgot for a moment that Sam and Jacob were standing right there. It was one of the most intimate (non-sexual) touches I've ever received. It was only our audience that prevented me from stepping into an embrace with him. Something's got to give, and soon.
~Part 3~
Today Sam came by to see how I was doing. After a few minutes, she brought up the 'glasses in the elevator' incident. Not a lot gets past her... She said she thought Jack and I were doing a great job of concealing our relationship, but even to an 'untrained' eye, that one was a little obvious. She didn't believe me at first when I said there wasn't one. So I finally confessed my secret to her. She agrees that Jack must feel the same way about me. She's going to help me decide what to do about it.
~Part 4~
Sam's funny, she's in full 'plot' mode now. I think she wants to see Jack and me together as much as I do. She says life is too short to waste time when you've found someone you love. I don't want to just blurt it out or catch him completely off guard - that'd be too risky. Our plan is, I'll ask Jack out to dinner this weekend, nothing unusual about that. We'll both be relaxed, and I'll start talking about the relationship we have. Hopefully I'll be able to judge by his reaction whether to tell him sometime later.
~Part 5~
Dinner with Jack went well. We agreed that each of us is the best friend the other has ever had, and that it's sometimes difficult for people like us to be as close as we are. We've both been hurt too many times, are afraid to really let people in. There was so much more I wanted to say to him. It can wait. Somehow it seemed like there was more he wanted to tell me as well, an air of wistful hesitancy. I don't know if I imagined it - could it be possible he feels the same?
~Part 6~
I told Sam all about my 'date' with Jack. I described his facial expressions, the tone of his voice, while we were talking. She thinks something is up, but isn't sure since she wasn't there. Sam is a great friend too - like the sister I never had. Like Jack, she's a little overprotective at times, but I know she has my best interests at heart. She worries that if I don't get my feelings for Jack off my chest, I might end up compromising us on missions. I think she could be right. Now to get the courage...
~Part 7~
While Sam and I were talking, pretending to be working on a translation, Jack came by and invited us to his house tonight for an impromptu barbecue. He said Teal'c had already agreed. We're wondering what's gotten him in such a good mood. Sam said she saw a twinkle in his eye when I said yes. I'm glad I get to spend more time with him off-base. Just make sure he drinks enough, but not too much... I'll get him alone somewhere, tell him while Sam and Teal'c are there. That way if things go bad, they'll be there.
~Part 8~
Sam and I have agreed on a plan. We will all be drinking, of course. I'll make sure to pace myself, and we're sure Jack will be his usual happy and affectionate self when he drinks. When it's appropriate, she and I usually try to wait to give Jack bad news until he's off-base and "happy drunk." When we've been able to, the results have always been better than if we had said something while he was in Colonel persona. I just hope that his behavior follows previously observed patterns, and he doesn't figure out we're up to something.
~Part 9~
Jack is giving me no end of hell for writing in my journal at a party. I fibbed, telling him I was writing down some thoughts on today's translation. He's truly in his bailiwick; playing host to your dearest friends is more fun than more formal occasions. He is talking and laughing easily, and looks gorgeous in dark green silk and tight jeans. Oops, better be careful what I'm thinking about. Don't want to get a hard-on now. That would surely ruin things. I actually feel pretty confident this will go well. I hope I'm not wrong about this.
~Part 10~
I have got to be the luckiest person in the world. It took all my resolve to tell Jack I love him. I thought for a moment that he was going to faint. Well, before he took my face in his hands and gave me the sweetest, most intense kiss of my life. I may have lost a lot in my life, but now I have Jack and he's the most important thing I can think of. And it looks like he won't be going anywhere anytime soon. Now all we have to do is start planning our future.