Tokyo Recipe

Summary: Aoshi. Kaoru. Food. Problem.

Disclaimer: Do you really think sessha owns anything besides sessha's sakabatou?

"There's something wrong with the food."

I watch around the table and regard the different reactions to my statement. Himura is uneasy. The Kamiya girl is emanating a frightening ken ki.

Yahiko is laughing.

I realize I should have kept quiet.

T_T

It all began some weeks ago, when Misao received a letter from Tokyo.

"Aoshi-sama, guess what! The Kenshingumi's going to spent some days with us!" she said in her usual cheerful tone. I went back to my meditation, giving her a very flat "For what?".

"It says that Himura's visiting Tomoe-san's grave. Oh, it will be SO cool!! I'll take them to the festival and oh my god I almost forgot those shops I wanted to show Kaoru-chan and that brat Yahiko I'll annoy him to no end--" She goes on with her babbling. I sighed deeply, knowing that when she started talking, it would go on to no end. And that's precisely why I got near petrified when she stopped abruptly. However, I was able to understand her last words.

"--Himura, but he can distract you, of course."

Now that was enough a reason to get petrified.

After reflecting a bit on the matter, though, I decided I shouldn't mind. Probably Misao was going on a shopping trip with the Kamiya girl and didn't want Himura around during their girl time. For me, it would be ok. It has been a long time since the red-haired swordsman and myself became something similar to "friends". I mean, we are able to stay in the same room for more than fifteen minutes without getting on each other's throat. In my head, I simply planned having some tea and nodding to his comments about the weather.

I would never imagine there was an intricate plot being built behind my back.

T_T

Days have passed, the visitors arrived, and Misao kept that damned smirk upon her face every single time she saw me. She had a plan, one didn't need to be an onmitsu to notice. Yet what was gnawing at me was that mystery surrounding her. In other occasions I had been able to guess what she was planning. This time, I just couldn't get it. Perhaps because that was the first time she involved outsiders on her little evil plans.

The thing is, now it wasn't just her. Yahiko, the young boy who claimed to be a "Tokyo samurai", was also smirking an awful lot. And my warrior instincts told me it wasn't a good prediction. At least Himura and the Kamiya girl seemed to be oblivious to that, or at least they knew as much as I did-- nothing.

And anyone who had been okashira of the Oniwabanshuu for ten years doesn't like surprises.

T_T

The afternoon went more or less calmly. More or less, because while Himura and I had our cup of tea on the veranda, I swear I heard a female yell "die, damned radish". My ears weren't playing a trick on me: right after that Himura got up and said, "I'll see if Misao-dono needs help with dinner."

He was back a minute later, with a very quizzical look on his face.

"What happened", I asked, already fearing the worst.

"Strange... Misao-dono didn't let me go inside the kitchen, de gozaru yo."

I gulped.

T_T

And dinner time came, much to my displeasure. There were all of us around the short wooden table: Okina, Shiro, Kuro, Omasu, Himura, the Kamiya girl, Misao, Yahiko, and I. The two youngers of the group held that same malignous smirk. When everybody was settled down, Okon came in with the dishes.

Apparently, it consisted on stewed beef dice mixed with boiled vegetables. Apparently. I had the misfortune of being the first one served; as I received my bowl I discreetly sniffed it, just in case. The smell wasn't very nice, but the food itself didn't look dangerous to me.

That is, until I tried it.

Several colours passed through my face. I suddenly had the urge to puke. My vision seemed distorted. 'That's it, Misao poisoned me with true-telling serum', I thought. 'In two minutes I'll be answering anything she asks me - things like "do you like my legs" or "do you love me" or "do you have naughty dreams with me" - and that certainly will be my end.'

The poison had a quicker effect, though. I actually told them what I had thought of the food.

T_T

I look from Himura to Yahiko to the Kamiya girl then back at Himura. "What--"

"'Something wrong'..." I am interrupted by the girl's furious mumbling. "... I work so hard to prepare this special Tokyo recipe of sukiyaki and he says 'there's something wrong'..."

I release my breath. At least it wasn't Misao's doing.

But I soon have to catch my breath again, when the Kamiya girl flyes in my direction with her bokken in hand. I hardly have any time to think before dodging and protecting myself behind the nearest solid material...

... which happens to be Himura's body, unfortunately for him.

"... oro...", the poor man groans in pain. This woman is probably the only human capable of beating Hitokiri Battousai - which is one reason why I should envy her, but there is no time to do so right now.

"Eek! Kenshin!" She goes to his aid, giving me the opportunity to escape. "Shinomori Aoshi!! You complain about my food, make me hurt my fiancé and now you are trying to run away from your punishment?! Grrr!! I'll get you for that!!" By then the chaos is already estabilished. In the main room, the Oniwabanshuu members try to help an agonizing Himura, while Yahiko laughs hysterically and Misao, still with the mysterious smirk on her lips, admires the result of her scheme.

T_T

"How embarassing, Misao."

Later on, Misao explained everything to us. She secretly invited Kamiya to prepare a traditional Tokyo dinner for us that night. Knowing the girl's 'talent' with food, my reaction was predictable.

"Oh, but it was fun to watch." She says while applying camphor to the bokken bruises on my back and arms. Yes, I ended up confirming my previous supposition about Kamiya's strenght.

"It didn't seem fun for me at all. Neither for your friend." Neither for Himura, I add mentally.

"Don't look at it this way. Now you have a delicious camphor scent on you." She giggles, snuffing my nape. Thank God there wasn't true-telling serum on that food. If Misao knew that she makes my blood boil when she gets that close to me...

She picks the medical accessories from the floor and walks to the door, but stops dead when I call her.

"Misao..." She turns to me. "Please... don't let that girl put her feet on our kitchen again."

She chuckles then turns again, leaving my room. The smirk is surely back to her face while she tells me, "don't worry about that, Aoshi-sama. I myself will make sure you have an unforgettable dinner tomorrow."

That weasel girl... since when does she read minds?

Author's Notes: Very silly short fic I just HAD to write or I'd go nuts. I promise I'll finish the other fics now... ^_^
Ah, the "T_T faces" concept © Misao Silent-mode. She used Kenshin emoticons ( ^_^x ) on her fic, "The Bulge". Read it, you'll roll on the floor laughing (I did)!

Love, Prudence-chan

On 01-12-2002 (on holidays! Hurray!)