A/N: So this one shot is something I have been working on for a very long time. I said in a one shot of mine a few months ago that I was going to release this soon, but for some reason, I just never finished it. When I did finish it, it ended at 41 pages! Holy crap! So just beware that this is a long read. Sorry if that's an inconvenience for any of you!
I was inspired to write this after listening to Long Live by Taylor Swift. I hope you all like it!
Without further ado, enjoy the story!
I do not own Fairy Tail! Nor the song, Long Live or Snow Fairy.
'Thoughts'
"Speech"
"Flashback/Dream"
Long Live
-O-
"Long live the walls we crashed through
I had the time of my life, with you
Long, long live the walls we crashed through
How the kingdom lights shined just for me and you
And I was screaming long live all the magic we made
And bring on all the pretenders
I'm not afraid"
- Long Live, Taylor Swift
-O-
"Live a long, wonderful life. A life that cannot simply be written down. A life that is celebratory every day. A life where you smile as much as you cry. A life where you have endured, but still succeeded. Live a life where every day is an adventure that never ends."
-O-
"Natsu-nee! Natsu-nee!"
25-year old Natsu Dragneel was shaken from his thoughts as a feminine voice rang through his ears. In front of him stood 19 year old Wendy Marvell, his essentially adopted little sister. She was accompanying him to the tailor, where he was measuring his suit size.
"Huh?" The older man asked quietly as he shrugged off the jacket from his shoulders.
"I asked if you liked the black or charcoal grey better?" Wendy pressed, clutching the grey jacket to her chest. Natsu rubbed the back of his head, chuckling slightly.
"Oh! Umm, black, don't ya think? I've always looked better in black."
Wendy eyed her senior with suspicious eyes. They had been shopping around all day, spending some much needed time together after a long period of time of separation.
They both attended the same academy, Fairy Tail Academy. Natsu was her senior by six years. He was now in grad school, Wendy just finishing her first year at Magnolia University. He also attended Magnolia University, but left the city of Magnolia because he couldn't bare to stay in this town anymore.
She didn't blame him.
"You've always loved the color black." She smiled sheepishly at him, giggling.
"It just suits me better, especially with my pink hair." The pink haired man laughed as he grabbed the black coat from the younger girl's arms. Natsu Dragneel was blessed with a head of cherry pink hair and dark onyx eyes.
"Of course, Natsu-nee."
The young Marvell watched her adoptive older brother and the way his usually energetic and bright, charming face turned dazed and lost.
"Are you okay, Natsu-nee?" Wendy asked as they exited the tailor's store and headed towards her car.
"What? Yeah? Of course!" He smiled his pearly whites at her, but Wendy wasn't buying it much.
"Are you sure?"
"Wendy, I'm fine!" He ruffled her hair, which she no longer put into pigtails. "Don't worry about me so much! Besides, good times are coming right?"
He laughed, jumping into her car.
What Natsu didn't know was that Wendy could hear the uncertainty in his voice as he posed the question.
Later in the day, after all their shopping had been done, they arrived to Natsu's apartment, bags full in their hands. And unlike Wendy's suspicions, his apartment was especially clean today. But she supposed when two people lived together, their home would be either very messy or very clean; and very clean was the latter in this case.
"Wow. It's actually very clean in here." The blue haired teenager commented.
"Haha. I guess that happens when you live with a girl. They're so bossy!" Natsu frowned, "Always wanting you to pick up and ordering you to do chores."
"Yes, I suppose that is true." Wendy giggled in agreement.
"Want something to drink?" The man offered.
"Water would be nice! Thank you!"
Natsu walked into the kitchen, his mind with heavy thoughts. The man was not a thinker, if high school was any indication to that. He relied on gut and will, his emotions and feelings to do the thinking for him.
So whenever the man was in deep thought, his friends knew it was important.
"What time is Erza-san coming over?"
Natsu mentally slapped himself as he forgot completely about the fact that his friends were coming over tonight. His mind had been in so many places that his friends were the last thing on his mind.
"Uh, I think she said 8? What time is it now?" He asked, putting the glass of water down in front of Wendy.
"It's 7:30 right now."
"Natsu! Open the damn door!"
"Guess they're here early."
Said man sighed, cringing, and knowing the voice on the other side of the door too well.
"Shut up! I'm coming, you damn prick!"
But before he could get to the door, it swung open, revealing a half-naked man with a silver chain hanging from his neck. His dark, unruly hair mopped over the top of his face. He was frowning, arms crossed in front of him.
"What the hell, stripper!? I was coming! Can't you wait?!"
Gray Fullbuster, Natsu's best friend and number 1 rival since their academy days, burst in the room, his scowl never leaving his face.
"You take too long, flame brain!"
"Your patience just sucks ass!"
"Its cause' you're too fuckin slow, moron!"
"Too slow? Ha! Don't make me laugh! You could never keep up with me!"
"Bullshit!"
Wendy sat in silence, giggling as Natsu and Gray threw insults at one another, locking arms, fighting as they always had. Their childish banters had streamed from their polar opposite personalities, clashing and disagreeing at every moment.
There was only one person who could truly put a stop to them.
"Cut it out, the both of you."
The young Marvell sighed in relief as the one person who could stop the two men stepped into the room with her marvelous, but intimidating aura emitting into the room.
"ERZA!"
Both men stopped immediately, chills running down their spines. Throughout their entire lives, Natsu was only frightened by one person and that was Erza Scarlet. He had tried multiple attempts to challenge her and beat her, but each and every single time was unsuccessful.
"Honest to God, you are both so childish. You are both 25 years old. It's time to grow up!"
"Aye!"
"Honestly, Natsu, you choose Gray to be your best man, and Gray you agreed. Yet, you both fight continuously as if you despise each other."
Natsu and Gray both mumbled under their breaths, frowning.
"Hello Erza-san!"
The fierce Erza turned towards Wendy, her demeanor changing completely. Instead of the thin, grim frown, she was now bearing a sweet smile as she took a seat next to the 19 year old.
"Hello, Wendy. How are you?"
"I'm fine. Just enjoying my summer off. My first year at Magnolia was pretty tough."
Erza and Wendy continued their conversation as Natsu fixed his shirt, glaring at his best friend/rival.
"I don't know why I ever choose you to be my best man. I should have chosen metal face." Natsu commented as he crossed his arms.
"You know you'd rather have me, pyro. Gajeel would be a terrible best man." Gray defended.
"You're just slightly better. You both are still complete shitty people."
"I'm just going to pretend you being a complete asshole is pre-wedding jitters." The dark man stated as he glared at Natsu.
The young Dragneel shrugged his shoulders. "This wedding stuff is a lot of work. I'm not cut out for this."
"Well that's why your best man here is going to throw you the best bachelor's party." Gray smiled slightly as he padded the back of his entrusted friend, who gave a skeptic look.
"Besides, it helps that she's doing most of the work. I swear, girls are crazy about that stuff. Levy was all over hers, not letting Gajeel touch a thing."
"Yeah…" He started, "L-"
But Natsu was interrupted as Erza's booming voice cancelled his out.
"Natsu, I want to see the suit you bought."
He complied, gesturing towards Wendy to grab the bag next to her. "Give me a chance to change! Don't make a mess anywhere!"
As the pyro walked away, Gray, Wendy, and Erza chuckled slightly as the words left the younger man's lips. The old Natsu Dragneel would have never cared about the messiness of a room.
"My, my. Natsu has certainly grown up, hasn't he?" The scarlet woman stated as she gazed towards the door to Natsu's room.
"It's hard to believe flame brain is already getting hitched. I figured he'd be the last of us too." Gray added as he looked down at the countertop.
"I think it's good for Natsu-nee. He'll have something to look forward too again." The youngest of the group chimed.
"Wouldn't everyone?" Erza duly noted as a far off look appeared on his face.
"Alright guys! What do you think?" The pink haired man walked out of his room, suit clinging to his body, rather nicely.
"It's a little tight around the arms, but I think for only wearing it once in my life, I could work with it, neh?" A small smile was on his lips as Erza came to him, examining him from head to toe.
"Not bad, pyro. I almost want to say you look kind of decent." Reluctant to fight with Erza in the room, Natsu shrugged off his comment and glared at the icy bastard he called his best friend.
"Like I said at the store, it looks great Natsu-nee! It just needs Erza-san's approval." At that statement, the onyx eyed man sweated nervously as he watched the one person he's always looked up to in his life come over towards him.
Natsu's eyes went wide as he felt Erza encompass him in a hug. "It fits you perfect, Natsu."
A gentle smile fell on said man's face as everyone in the room fell into comfortable silence.
But there was still a void, a void that could never be filled.
-O-
You held your head like a hero
On a history book page
"Neh, Natsu?"
"What is it, Lucy?"
19 year olds Natsu Dragneel and Lucy Heartfilia were standing against the rail of Natsu's balcony, enjoying the fresh air of the summer night. They were the best of friends, since elementary school. It was rare when the two weren't together. So it was only natural that the two attended the same university after the academy days.
"What if one day, I disappeared?"
"Eh? What kind of question is that?" The pinkette turned to the blonde with a look of confusion and slight irritation.
The young Heartfilia had an ambiguous aura around her, her eyes stoic and dim, not the usual bright brown they always were. She seemed… off, to the pink haired almost adult. He would say she looked almost wistful.
She turned towards him, a small smile gracing her pink lips. "I guess it is a silly question, huh?"
"Why would you disappear, Luce? I would never let you disappear!" Natsu slammed his fist down on the rail, his eyes burning brightly. Lucy disappearing? Please. If there was ever a sheer chance of his best friend disappearing from his life, he'd squash it down immediately.
"If somehow you did, WHICH YOU NEVER WILL!" He so confidently proclaimed, "I would go through hell and back to bring you back because you're my best friend, Lucy. I would never stop! I'd turn over every rock, search every mountain, every forest, every city, every single square inch of this planet if I had too!"
"And you know I wouldn't do it alone. Erza, the ice bastard, Levy, Juvia, metal head, Cana, Mira, EVERYONE from Fairy Tail would be with me. Because you're Lucy, Lucy Heartfilia. But most importantly, you're Lucy, Lucy from Fairy Tail. And we take care of our own!"
There was a moment of silence as Natsu finished his bold speech, his onyx eyes filled with confidence and determination, dancing with fire as they always had. His best friend was the most important person to him (behind his cat Happy of course), and to hell if he would let her disappear from his life.
"Huh? Lucy! Why are you crying!?"
Said girl had tears brimming at the rims of her eyes, a complacent smile etched on her face. She was smiling, smiling and crying as she lunged herself at the pinkette teen, who in turn, blushed profoundly.
"You're the best, Natsu. You know that?" Lucy stated as she pulled away from him.
Natsu blushed at her smiling form, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment.
"Geeze, you're such a weirdo."
That earned him a very powerful "Lucy Kick," which sent him flying through his apartment while the blonde mumbled something about the injured boy "ruining the moment."
-O-
Lisanna Strauss walked into her apartment, setting her keys down on the table next to her. She sighed, tired from the stress of the past week. She had a lot on her plate, between work and the wedding, she was overwhelmed.
The lights were off, meaning that he wasn't home.
She was somewhat relieved.
Ever since the wedding had been drawing nearer and nearer, the relationship between the two had strained somewhat, awkward tension hanging in the air. She was doing all the work, handling the flowering arrangement, the guest list, the venue, the dress, her bridesmaid's dresses, etc.
Lisanna wondered sometimes if this was what he even wanted.
If he was doing this because he wanted to, not because he felt obligated to.
Curiosity got to the best of her, deciding that this was a conversation that was pivotal, defining what would be the rest of their lives together. When her fiancé arrived home early one night, she approached him, asking to talk to him about something that would define their future.
He had, at first, given her a look of skeptism, which she wasn't surprised with. But then, with his loving smile that she loved so much (which always looked so tired as of late), ushered her to continue with her question.
When Lisanna had got around the basics and asked the question, the conversation took a deep dive south.
-O-
"What are you talking about?"
"Do you even want to marry me? Do you even love me?"
His confused gaze turned sour as a glare was etched into his face. His eyes burned and turned dark. A grim line settled on his lips.
"What the hell? What kind of stupid question is that!?"
Lisanna flinched at his tone of voice.
It scared her to see him like this.
The only times he had ever gotten like this were when he was fighting with individuals he wasn't fond with, or with individuals he outright hated.
"You just seem so distant about all of this! Like you don't care! Yes, you smile and laugh and hold my hand. Yes, you kiss my cheek and hold me close. But you only do that when were in public, around our friends, the people we've met. But it all feels so… fake. Like it's all pretend! Like it's something you're forced to do."
His disgruntled look changed immediately at the words Lisanna was saying. His eyes fell, his brows tightly knit.
"Lisanna, what are you-"
"In front of others, you smile. You laugh. You joke around. But as soon as they look away… you stop." Her voice began to break. "You pull away, and push me away also. You act like this isn't something you want. So tell me Natsu, is this something you want? Because if not, you have to let me know."
Natsu opened his mouth slightly, but no words were spoken. Her words hung in the air as he tried to come up with a response.
But nothing came.
"I have to go look at the catering list. I want to make sure that the fire rolls are on there."
And without another word, the pink haired man stood from his chair and walked away, leaving Lisanna completely heartbroken.
Because she knew what he wanted.
And it was not her.
-O-
"Lis!"
Called girl quirked at her name, jumping slightly from fear.
"Mavis! Mickey, you scared me!"
Mickey Chickentiger (strange last name, Lisanna knows), Lisanna's coworker, giggled as she hugged her friend from the side. "Sorry I showed up a little early! I was already in this part of town so I thought it would be best to just stop by now."
"Sorry! I know I was supposed to come a little later to help you with the wedding decor but I was already in this part of town so I figured I come now. Unless your fiancé was home and you wanted me to give you two some alone time?" Mickey suggested with a smirk and wriggle eye brows.
Lisanna half smiled as she looked at her friend.
"He's not here. So you're safe."
Mickey noticed the way Lisanna's face fell as her light blue eyes turned melancholic. She immediately detected something wrong with her silver haired friend.
"Trouble in paradise?" The purple haired friend asked, as she shut the door behind her.
The youngest of the Strauss siblings sighed as she set her keys down, a sad frown settled on her pale skin.
"I don't know, Mickey." Lisanna started.
"What do you mean?"
Both young women sat down on the kitchen bar stools and Lisanna traced circles on the marble, like any confused child would. Mickey watched in slight worry, thinking of the odd behavior one of her best work mates was showing.
"Is it pre-wedding jitters?" The woman asked. Lisanna shook her head.
"I don't think-" Lisanna stopped herself midway, correcting her next choice in words, "-No. I know Natsu doesn't want to marry me."
Mickey gasped, her eyes widening at the bold statement Lisanna made.
"Lisanna… that's a pretty bold claim to make." The hazel nut haired woman said as she clasped the hands of her friends. "Why would you even think that? Natsu's a total babe! He's a friendly, outgoing, go getter type of guy who is nothing but sweet to you! Not to mention, your fiancé is totally hot! I've seen him without a shirt and I just have to say, you're one lucky girl."
Every word Mickey spoke cut straight through Lisanna's heart. Natsu was a horrible liar, and an even more horrible pretender. How he had perfected the art of lying and deceit she would never know.
Lisanna laughed, making the brunette stare at her with perplexion.
"Why are you laughing, Lis? I don't really think it's something to be laughing about."
"Oh Mickey…" Lisanna gave her a sad smile, a smile that was absolutely heart breaking. The silver haired woman stood from her bar stool and walked towards the living room. Mickey watched as Lisanna crouched to the bottom shelf of their entertainment center, shuffling through some books and movies.
"Lis, what are you doing?"
"Just give me a sec." She could hear her friend shout. Mickey got curious and walked to the living room, looking over the shoulder of the blue eyed woman who had half her body in the shelf.
"Found it."
And what Lisanna found was a picture album book, bigger than the girl's lap. The brunette's eyes went wide as the silver haired woman wiped away some minor dust. She could see the small, sad smile return to Lisanna's pretty face.
But what Mickey thought was more devastating was the melancholy and sadness in Lisanna's normally bright blue eyes.
Lisanna stared at the picture album book, its weight heavy on her legs. It had been some time since she had seen this book. And an even longer time since it was last opened. Her fingers were tracing the front cover, which was embroiled in some interact designs and patches were plastered all over; all the patches were from their academy, the Fairy Tail insignia in different colors.
What no one would know was the each patch represented every single person that was in the book. There were so many patches, ranging in all sorts of colors. Lisanna smiled fondly as she traced her own white Fairy Tail patch, the memories of their academy days hitting her like a ton of bricks. She spotted Gray's and Erza's and both her older brother's and sister's matching stickers. And when her eyes stopped on Natsu's bright, red Fairy Tail patch and a pink Fairy Tail patch, she couldn't stop the smile that fell from her face.
"Lis? Is everything okay?" That's when the youngest of the Strauss siblings broke out her thoughts and looked up to her friend.
"Lis! Why are you crying! Are you okay?!"
Said girl went wide eyed as she reached for the tears that she didn't even notice were falling from her eyes.
Now she knew why Natsu buried the book to the very back, for it to never be opened.
Lisanna laughed, wiping the small tears from her eyes. "Oh gosh. I'm sorry. I didn't even realize I was crying."
"Lisanna, what's going on?"
"Give me a quick second."
The youngest Strauss didn't realize the breath she was holding in until she sighed when she fingers touched the corner of the album. With a heavy heart, the silver haired beauty opened the book, her eyes immediately landing on the first picture that she spotted.
"Oh my Mavis! Is that Natsu and your friend that strips all the time kissing!?"
Lisanna shrieked (and jumped) when Mickey squealed in her ear. She let her ears ring out before she could answer Mickey's question, who was gushing (while her nose was bleeding a little) at the picture of Natsu Dragneel and Gray Fullbuster locked in lip locked (not romantically of course).
"Oh I remember that day so well!" She laughed, the memory so clear in her mind, "It was in middle school! Natsu and Gray had been fighting like they always did and Erza intervened, telling the two to stop fighting at once."
-O-
"Natsu! You stupid, slanted eyed pyro! You knocked off my shaved ice from my table!" Fourteen year old Gray stood up from his table, yelling at the pink haired boy who was on the floor as a result of Gajeel Redfox pushing him.
"It wasn't my damn fault! Metal head pushed me into the table!" Natsu retorted.
"All you did is piss me off, stupid flame freak!"
"The feeling is mutual, you damn pervert! Stripping everywhere! You're such an eyesore!"
Juvia Lockser, an overdetermined admirer of Gray, nearly fainted at the words that left Natsu's mouth, yelling something along the lines of "Gray-sama is perfection!"
That was when the two locked arms with each other, wrestling on the floor, punching each other whenever the other had a chance. Everyone in the classroom ignored the pair of boys, the bickering amongst the two being an everyday thing in Fairy Tail.
"You idiots!" That was when Natsu and Gray felt their soul leave their bodies as the ferocious and abominable Erza "Titania" Scarlet grabbed the two boys; Natsu by his shirt and Gray his shoulder (since he had lost his clothes).
"I had already broken up a fight between the two of you earlier today! You dare to try another under my watchful nose!?" The two boys squealed in fear, sweating bullets as they watched their short lived lives flash before their eyes.
"It was his fault!" They both shouted as they pointed fingers at one another, sending murderous glares to each other.
"Oh I'll show you fault this very second." Erza, with her powerful arms and deadly voice, pushed the two boys together, meaning to knock each other with their own heads, but instead, the consequences left the entire class deathly quiet and wide eyed.
Because in her arms, Erza had accidently caused Natsu and Gray to give each other a kiss on the lips, much to their utter dismay and ultimate embarrassment. Even the scarlet Titania was blushing as she looked down at her two surrogate brothers locking lips.
"WHAT THE HELL!?"
Natsu and Gray quickly broke away from each other, all the color from the face drained. Natsu began to wipe away at his lips furiously while Gray was on all foura, choking and spitting.
Somewhere in the background, Gajeel Redfox was bursting into tears from laughter as the quiet bookworm Levy McGarden hushed him for ultimately causing the scene and Juvia Lockser wailed in agony as she screamed something about her "precious Gray-sama" being into "hentai boy to boy" amongst other things.
-O-
Both Lisanna and Mickey were dying of laughter as the Strauss sibling shared the story. Mickey had fell to the floor gasping for air while Lisanna wiped small tears from her eyes, thinking to how easy and simple things were back in the academy.
"Natsu and Gray couldn't look at each other for weeks after that! And Erza, oh poor Erza. She was so sorry that she let the boys punch her for retribution. Which they enjoyed because neither Natsu nor Gray had ever been able to beat Erza in anything. But nothing angered Natsu more than when Gajeel pulled out the picture and blackmailed him with it."
"Geesh Lis. You guys had some crazy times!" Mickey commented as she looked at the other pictures on the page.
Lisanna's eyes fell, thinking that they really did. She shook out of her own thoughts and returned to the book, going back to what she had originally opened this book for.
"So this is a collection of pictures of you and your friends back at Fairy Tail Academy?" Lisanna mmhmed as she skimmed through the book, looking for that picture.
"It's so big! There are so many pictures in here!" She silently agreed, nodding her head as she finally landed on the page she was looking for.
Her eyes skimmed the page, settling on the picture that made Lisanna's heart crumble each and every time she looked at it. The silver haired woman's fingers traced over the picture, sighing sadly.
"Who's that?"
Mickey, who was now sitting across from Lisanna, pointed towards the mysterious individual in the picture.
"I've never met her before." The brunette commented. "But she sure is beautiful."
"That…" Lisanna started, her bright, blue eyes crestfallen, "… is the love of Natsu's life."
Mickey blinked, digesting the words that Lisanna had just said. Then suddenly, her eyes went wide.
"What?!"
The brown haired woman's mouth hung from her jaw as she looked at the mysterious woman in the picture, than back towards Lisanna. She was lost for words as Lisanna sat in a state of solemn.
"What do you mean she's the love of his life?!"
Licking her lips, Lisanna sighed, knowing that she was going to have to explain. Her co-worker looked lost, confused, dazed.
"Her name is-" but Lisanna stopped herself midway, biting down on her lip, "-was Lucy Heartfilia."
The young Strauss realized that this was the first time she had said Lucy's name in a very long time. For it was absolute taboo to bring her name up anywhere near her fiancé. And not only for her fiancé, it was heart wrenching for her also.
"Lucy… Heartfilia?" Mickey questioned as she drawled out the mysterious girl's name.
"Lucy Heartfilia went to school with us, joining Fairy Tail when she was about 10. You might recognize her name because her father, Jude Heartfilia, owned the Heartfilia Railroads over ten years ago." Mickey shook her head, not having knowledge of who the Heartfilia's were. Though it didn't surprise Lisanna as Mickey was a few years younger than the Fairy Tail gang.
"Natsu and Lucy immediately became the best of friends when she arrived. Albeit, Natsu often called her Luigi instead of Lucy at times. But that didn't matter because those two became attached by the hip; closer than anyone would imagine any two would grow. You would never find Natsu without Lucy or Lucy without Natsu."
That's when Mickey noticed the other pictures on the page beside the one Lisanna had her finger on. In every picture, Lisanna's fiancé and this Lucy character with her blonde, shimmering hair, and lively brown eyes, and curvaceous body were either right next to each other, locked in arms, fighting, or just simply in each other's company.
"Yeah, I see what you mean. But Lis…" Mickey looked up towards her friend, "-that doesn't mean this Lucy character was the love of your fiancé's life."
Lisanna laughed.
"Mickey, look at this picture. And tell me what you see."
In the picture, it was Natsu Dragneel and Lucy Heartfilia, much older than in the other pictures on the page. Lucy was leaning against a bridge railing, laughing with a bright smile etched on her pretty face. It must had been windy because her blonde locks were swaying lightly with the wind as she had a single hand hold her hair back while the other was gripping the rail. The blonde haired beauty was wearing a simple, light blue, sun dress that hugged her body in all the right places.
Instead of laughing like his blonde haired companion, Natsu Dragneel was doing something else entirely. The pinkette was staring adoringly towards the blonde with his soft dark eyes. Unlike all the other pictures, where he grinned like a mad man, showing teeth and squinting, Natsu had his eyes half open with a small loving, toothless smile that spoke over a thousand words. The pinkette was wearing the white scarf that was always hanging from his neck with a button up shirt and a matching blue vest to the blue dress the blonde was wearing.
Mickey felt like she was intruding on something personal, like she had just seen something that was only meant for Lucy Heartfilia's eyes.
"Lis… I hate to break it to you, but I think your fiancé is in love with another girl." Mickey said, not really thinking about the words coming from her mouth. She was too dazed by the picture. "I mean, I would do anything to have a guy look at me like that; look at me like I'm the single most important thing in the planet and nothing else matters."
Lisanna bit her lip, her heart aching.
"I know. I would too."
Mickey looked up towards her friend and saw the tears streaming down her face. The brunette immediately felt awful. Instead of reassuring her friend, she had only made it worse.
"Lisanna! I'm sorry! I'm sure that Natsu looks at you like that! I'm sur-"
But she stopped her word vomit when Lisanna laughed once again. Mickey didn't think there was anything funny with the situation that her silver haired friend was in.
"Natsu has never looked at me like that. Not once." The youngest of the Strauss siblings wiped her eyes, looking at her friend with overwhelming sadness. "Natsu will never look at me the way he looked at Lucy Heartfilia. He loved her with everything he had. He was so blindly in love with Lucy. Even if the fool didn't realize it till later."
This is where Mickey had enough listening to Lisanna go on and on about her fiancé loving someone else. And it was clearly eating away at one of her best friends because Mickey could not recall ever seeing Lisanna look so dejected in the time she's known her.
"Now listen here! If that good for nothing fiancé of yours is so in love with this Lucy tramp, then why isn't he marrying her instead of you!?"
"Don't you dare call Lucy a tramp!"
Mickey Chickentiger gasped in astonishment as Lisanna Strauss channeled all her grief and anger towards the brunette. The silver haired girl was fuming with anger as her eyes raged with irritation. The brown haired woman had never seen Lisanna look so upset in the time she's known the silver haired woman. She was always so sweet and nice with such a bright smile and joyous laughter. Lisanna never showed anger to the level she was at the moment.
"Don't you dare say Lucy was a tramp! Lucy Heartfilia was the kindest, most selfless, caring person anyone could ever know! She was so down to earth and easy to get along with. Her personality was so lovable and she never hurt anyone with purpose. Her soul was pure and beautiful! She never gave up on you. And did everything she could for others! And the love she had for people was incredible. And the love she had for Fairy Tail, even more!"
Lisanna now had tears in her eyes once more, her heart tugging at the memories of her friend racing through her mind.
"Lucy was a great friend, an even better person. I can't count the amount of times she's been there for me because there were so many times. She never let me down and always encouraged me to never give up! Because that's who Lucy Heartfilia was!"
Mickey was wide eyed, her eyes as big as saucers as Lisanna went on a tangent about this Lucy Heartfilia. But Mickey was confused. How could she talk so well about someone who had the heart of her fiancé in the palm of her hand?
"Lis… I was only trying to defend you." She muttered quickly.
"You know why Natsu is marrying me instead of Lucy in a few short weeks?" Lisanna in took a deep breath, her emotions stirring higher than before.
"Because Lucy Heartfilia is dead."
-O-
The night you danced like you knew our lives
would never be the same
She was standing there, a light blue, strapless dress adorning her curvaceous body. There was a glint in her eye as she clutched the water cup close to her chest. He couldn't stop the silly smile from gracing his lips as he watched her vibrate with laughter.
They were at their close friend's wedding party, in a beautiful courtyard in the middle of a Magnolia summer. Laxus Dreyar and Mirajane Strauss were to be married within a week and everyone was excited, especially his blonde haired best friend. Lucy was asked to be a bride's maid, to which she happily accepted. Natsu was asked to be part of the groom's men, and he couldn't deny the opportunity to pair up with Lucy at the wedding.
He was so hopelessly in love with Lucy Heartfilia.
At that moment, said girl turned towards him and smiled, waving at him to join her and her blue haired best friend Levy McGarden.
He couldn't deny the request of his best friend.
"I will see you later, Lu-chan?" Natsu could hear Levy say as she glanced over towards Natsu and smiled. Lucy merely smiled in return, giving her best friend a quick hug.
"This party is such a drag." Natsu commented, with Lucy furrowing her eye brows.
"Natsu, don't say things like that."
He smiled. Her heart thumped.
"The only great thing here is the free drinks!" The blonde rolled her eyes as she smiled.
"Honestly, what am I going to do with you?"
Even at 21 years old, some things never change, they both concluded. Natsu was still immature, brash, and somewhat compulsive, but he was strong willed, reliable, and charming. Lucy was still as stubborn as ever, with her bossy nature coming out at times and her need to control, but she was still as radiant as she had always been with her down to earth personality and her optimistic smile that always saved the day.
They were standing on a small bridge, looking over the party, watching as all their friends laughed and smiled. Natsu couldn't stop himself from taking his eyes off her. She was speaking, commenting on the budding romances she saw around the party- he sometimes thinks she got that from Mira. Lucy was adamant about making sure everyone was happy.
But Natsu's job was to make sure she was happy.
Lucy was his light. She pulled him from the darkness. Even on his lowest days, when the pink haired man didn't think he could keep going, she was right there next to him, whispering "You can do it."
As the pyromaniac watched her, the butterflies in his stomach caused his heart to race.
"Dance with me?" She asked, shifting towards him slightly as she reached for his hand.
He grinned.
And accepted.
When they danced, he felt like he was floating, having Lucy so close to him. She meshed perfectly with his, almost as if the blonde was his other half. He knows it sounds corny, he does, but with Lucy, that doesn't matter.
"I love you." He would whisper to her.
She would give him a smile, a smile that spoke thousands of words.
"I know."
They never needed a label for their relationship. They never called themselves boyfriend or girlfriend. They were simply Natsu and Lucy. They were best friends who were completely in love with each other.
And that was okay.
When she laid her head against his shoulder as the soft music played in the background, Lucy was all that mattered. No one else.
So when she pulled away and smiled at him sadly, it confused him.
When she told him "I love you," he didn't understand. Lucy had never told him she loved him. Natsu knew she did. He knew, but she never said it.
When he received that call in the middle of the night, he finally understood why.
-O-
There was something soothing about cemeteries. It was morbid, he knew. A cemetery brought nothing but despair and sadness. It was the final resting place of loved ones, of fallen heroes, of strangers, of people who never had a chance.
But to him, it was some sort of sanctuary.
Because it was here where he felt closest to her.
And he needed to feel her. Now more than ever.
"Hey Luce." He said, his voice soft and broken.
"How are you?" There was a small, sad smile creeping on his lips. "I hope you're doing well." Natsu knew if Lucy was here right now, she would be praising him for his good grammar.
Natsu crouched, looking at the picture plastered on his best friend's tombstone. She was smiling, as always. Her smile was so infectious, so contagious. It was a damn shame that Lucy wasn't around to smile anymore. The world was missing out.
"I'm getting married in a week."
His heart tugged at the thought. Doubt crept into his mind, sorrow filling his heart. It wasn't that he didn't want to be married.
Natsu looked forward to the day he could get married.
For the day he could spend the rest of his life with the person he loved. With the person who came as close to his soulmate was possible. With the person who annoyed and infuriated and irritated him, but he still loved this person to bits and pieces.
And eventually, have younger versions of him and her running around, causing mischief and mayhem just like their father and being stubborn and intelligent like their mother.
Yes, Natsu Dragneel wanted to get married.
But he wasn't marrying the girl he wanted to marry.
"Isn't that weird? Me? Getting married? Who would have thought I would be getting married at 25?" Natsu commented, "Gray's my best man. I know he's a piece of shit, but he's also the only guy who has been there like my entire life. And it makes sense that he is my best man. Besides, he's better than Gajeel. That guy will ruin everything on purpose."
"Lis planned the whole thing. I didn't really do much work, except for picking out the food, yah know?" The pyro chuckled dryly, "Juvia, Mira, and Evergreen helped her with all the decorations, the venue, the music, and you know, all that. Mira is Lis's maid of honor, which makes sense. The other person would have been Juvia had it not been Mira."
He gulped, feeling a knot form at his throat. "Asuka is going to be our flower girl. Remember Asuka? Alzack's and Bisca's daughter? Remember when everyone found out she was pregnant? You were so excited. You were the first one to insist on throwing a baby shower. And how you would babysit her whenever the two wanted to go out." The pink haired man's smile fell.
"But you never got a chance to meet Asuka."
There was a silence that rang throughout the cemetery. Natsu shuffled in his position, his mind racing with thoughts that he couldn't comprehend. His mind was moving at 100 miles per hour, too fast for him to understand what was going on.
There was so much going on in his life that he didn't know where to start. Whenever he felt lost, felt himself sinking, felt himself falling backwards instead of moving forward, Natsu always turned to his best friend Lucy Heartfilia.
But for four years now, his best friend was 6 feet under, with a headstone to her name.
"This isn't fair." The pinkette whispered, "It's not fuckin' fair." There was a snarl at his lips. Natsu was so angry. He was always so angry. Angry at life, at the world, at Lucy, at himself.
"How could you do this to me, Lucy? How could you just leave me?" He could feel the hot tears streaming down his eyes, burning his cheeks. "You were the one. You were the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. You were the one I wanted to be with forever. How could you be so selfish and just die?!" He clenched a fist and punched the floor as a growl erupted from his lips.
"And then you made me promise you such a stupid promise! How could you!? How could you do that to me?! Do you know how much it hurts!? Knowing that the person I'm spending the rest of my life with isn't you!"
Natsu Dragneel was always very outgoing, with an optimistic grin always plastered on his lips. Even though he was sometimes too violent, or brash, or stubborn, he was known as the guy who could always make you believe in something, anything.
He was always strong, never backing away from a fight; even fights he knew he would lose. The pink haired man carried the world on his shoulders, never bending or kneeling to anything life threw at him. He squared his shoulders, lifted his head, and marched into the chaotic swing of life, ready for whatever the hell it threw at him.
But he never expected this.
"How could you just die on me, Lucy? How can you just leave me like this? We always talked about forever, about all the things we said we would do in our lives. You always talked about leaving Magnolia and going on adventures so you can write about everything we saw! And then sharing them with everyone!" He chocked, holding back a sob, "You had so many dreams! I had so many dreams! And you were in them! We had a future planned out, you and me, Luce."
"Tell me. Tell me how am I supposed to stand at the altar and watch Lisanna walk down the aisle while I am imagining it's you the whole time? Tell me how I am supposed to say I do and kiss Lisanna while I imagine it's you the entire time." Natsu buried himself into his hands and clutched his hair tightly. "I had my whole life planned with you. Everything I looked forward to, everything I saw in my future, and it had you in it! So tell me, Lucy Heartfilia, how could you just die on me and leave me here by myself when I am so in love with you?"
There it was.
All the pent up turmoil and emotions he had dug away and buried deep, deep down inside had finally resurfaced. The gates were flooding and he couldn't stop the word vomit that poured from him. For the past four years, Natsu had been so angry, so pissed off at life. The pink haired adult felt nothing but resentment in himself. He was sad and missed Lucy so damn much. He had done an excellent job at concealing his inner turmoil, masking his true emotions with a smile.
But those of Fairy Tail knew better.
They knew his constant smiles had been fake and his laughter forced. Even the woman who he was marrying knew that he was faking. Lisanna Strauss knew he wasn't in love with her. Yet, she was still marrying him. Natsu like liked Lisanna; he thought she was a great girl, but he did not love her like she loved him. And she was an absolute fool for marrying him; a shattered, brokenhearted, grieving man whose heart belonged to a woman that was dead.
The onyx eyed man could stop the wedding now. He could drop this entire thing at this very moment. Natsu could call Lisanna and tell her that he was done and didn't want to get married to her. Or he could wait a week later and tell her no at the altar. But that would be an asshole thing to do and everyone at the room would murder him.
But he couldn't do that. He made a promise.
-O-
Hold on to spinning around
Confetti falls to the ground
May these memories break our fall
"You knew all this time and you didn't say anything!?" Natsu shouted in the bleak hospital room. A beeping noise was going off in the background, sounds of footsteps shuffling around outside the hallway, voices mumbling around the background.
Lucy sighed, watching as Natsu exploded with his fists tightened, gritting his teeth, his eyes blazing with rage and frustration.
"The only person who knew was Levy, and then Gajeel by default. He wasn't supposed to know, but Levy ended up telling him because he was beginning to grow suspicion of the things that Levy was helping me with."
Those words didn't help ease his anger, especially because Gajeel Redfox knew before he, Lucy's best friend, that Lucy had cancer.
"Oh great! Because that makes perfect sense!" Lucy flinched at the sudden rise in Natsu's tone of voice.
She glared at him, gripping the sheets under her tightly.
"This is why I didn't tell you! Because I knew that you would have exploded like this!" The blonde yelled back, her brown eyes glossed over with irritation.
"Of course I fuckin' did! I have every right too! Especially when my best friend has fuckin cancer!"
Natsu's words echoed throughout the room, Lucy holding his glare quite victorious. His breathing had become very jagged, his chest rising up and down visibly.
"And not only that! You've had it for two fuckin years! And you didn't even think to tell me!" The pink haired man's voice had dropped significantly, his clenched fist beginning to tremble. "Unbelievable." He spat.
The last thing he saw before storming out of the Lucy's room was tears that were cascading down the blonde's pretty face.
But Natsu wasn't gone for long.
He needed to wrap his head around the fact that his best friend and the girl he was hopelessly in love with had cancer. Natsu needed to walk away before he said something Lucy that he couldn't take back. So 21 year old man went off on a walk to clear his head and let the harsh reality sink in.
Lucy Heartfilia had cancer.
His best friend for eleven years had cancer.
The woman he as in love with had cancer.
The pink haired man didn't know the details; he didn't stick around to hear the details. He wasn't quite sure how severe it was. For all the former pyro knew, it could be completely gone after the past 2 years of treatment. Or, it could be fatal.
But he didn't want to think about the latter in this situation.
When he returned an hour later, the onyx eyed man was standing outside Lucy's hospital room, frozen in spot. On different occasions he tired knocking, but his fist never connected with the door. And he didn't like hospitals very much either.
The last time he was here, his father had died.
Natsu hadn't seen his father in over 10 years. Igneel Dragneel disappeared from his life when he was seven years old, leaving him in the capable hands of Makarov Dreyar. For ten years, the man wondered what he did wrong for his father to leave him, to abandon him.
But he never got a chance to find out because at the age of 19, Natsu received a phone call about his father's passing. Apparently, his old man had died from a heart attack. He wished he could have been so insensitive about the situation, but Igneel was still his father. And despite abandoning him at the young age of seven, he was a damn good father for the first seven years of his life.
So it was obvious that Natsu didn't like hospitals.
And it scared the shit out of him that his best friend was in one right now.
The pinkette inhaled deeply and knocked slightly, opening the door at the same time.
"Lucy?" He called out softly, only to find an empty bed.
That's when he heard a clattering noise coming from the bathroom. Immediately darting for the bathroom, Natsu could hear retching noises, followed by groaning. The retching noises started again, followed by more groaning.
The door was creaked open, the bathroom light poking through the small slit. The onyx eyed man could see a body on the floor, hunched over the toilet. Natsu didn't need clarification for the patient in the room because her striking blonde hair was already confirming enough.
Lucy didn't noticed Natsu come in as he opened the door and she continued vomiting into the toilet. There were tears spilling from his best friend's eyes, one of her hands clenching the ring of the toilet. Rushing to her side immediately, Natsu put a hand to her back held her hair back with his other.
With tired eyes, Lucy looked at him and faintly smiled. She opened her mouth to say something, but he merely shook his head.
"I'm here, Luce." There was another retching sound as Lucy leaned into the toilet, puking her the nonexistent contents in her stomach. Natsu sat, rubbing her back, and holding her hair back as she heaved and groaned.
When the brown eyed woman was done wrenching her guts, she requested for Natsu to call a nurse. He did as she wished and a nurse came in and helped Lucy wash up, change, and put her back to bed. The pinkette cold only imagine that Lucy must really despise this. She hated being pitied on, being taken care of. She already had enough of that growing up.
"Alright Miss Heartfilia. If you should feel anymore discomfort, just press this button and I'll have someone assist you." Lucy smiled slightly, grabbing the control from the nurse. The nurse gave a quick goodbye before leaving the room, with only Natsu and Lucy in the room.
There was a stretch of silence as Natsu sat at Lucy's bedside, both minds racing with thoughts. There was so many questions he had. But where to start?
"Are you feeling better?" That was a safe question to start with, he figured. Lucy looked over to him with an indescribable gaze.
"It hasn't been that bad in a while. Usually I can take the nausea and pain in my stomach from the chemotherapy, but this last time around, it felt awful. I'm guessing it's because the concentration of the chemo was higher than last time." She explained.
"Oh." There wasn't much else he could say. Natsu still couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that this was happening to him, to them.
She sighed tiredly, causing him to shoot looks at her.
"I was diagnosed with have acute lymphocytic leukemia two years ago." Lucy began, Natsu listening tentatively. "Acute lymphocytic leukemia is a blood cancer that results when abnormal white blood cells grow in the bone marrow. The sick cells replace the healthy cells and are carried into the bloodstream to other organs and tissues in my body. It grows and divides quickly, spreading everyone throughout the body."
"I had been feeling sick for a while, but didn't think anything of it. Remember we both thought I caught the flu?" Natsu vaguely nodded. "I went to the doctors to see why I had been feeling so awful. And it was later that day that I found out I hate leukemia. The doctors were concerned with some abnormality in my red blood cell count and the low count of my white blood cells. They did some testing and found that I had cancer in already in my bloodstream."
"They gave me many different numbers and urged me to go see an oncologist immediately. The next few days, I missed my classes and went to see several oncologists and specialist. They looked at my scans and said that they had caught it too late and that I had a 15% chance of getting out of the year alive." Natsu's stomach dropped immediately at the number Lucy read off. "I was at lost for words and was ready to give up. But then I got a call from Dr. Jura, an oncologist from Hargean Hospital. He told me that he could give me my best chance at living. He said it would be pricey, but he could give me a chance to live. I took it, obviously."
Money was not a matter to Lucy. She came from a wealthy family, though the blonde never flaunted it. Lucy actually disconnected herself from her father after the passing of her mother because he father had become so power and money hungry over the years. It wasn't until Lucy was 18 that she reconciled with her father. But shortly after, he died from a stroke. So the entire inheritance of the Heartfilia Railroads went to Lucy Heartfilia.
"Remember when I left for a few days with Levy, saying that we were going on a girl's trip? Well, we were actually going to Hargeon to meet up with Dr. Jura. And the reason Levy was the first to know was because she had come over to my apartment and found some of my pamphlets from the hospital. It was almost next to impossible to lie to her at that point. So Levy accompanied me to Hargeon and I met with Dr. Jura and he broke everything down for me, explaining what exactly my cancer was, what form it was, why other doctors told me my survival rate was the number it was, what me best options were, and how I could beat it."
Lucy took a drink of her water, and cleared her throat before continuing.
"He gave me a treatment plan; a detailed layout of everything I should do. I was so thankful. I didn't think I would have a chance to fight it. And he was giving it to me. He was giving me a chance to live." That's when Natsu noticed the tears forming at her eyes. "And I was doing so well for 2 years! I was beating it! Every PET scan I had showed decreasing cancer cells. I was doing everything right! I was taking my medication, doing chemotherapy, watching my diet, everything! It was practically gone."
"And then the night of Mira's wedding, I knew something was wrong. I could feel it in my body. Something didn't sit right and I felt light headed and dizzy. Next thing I knew, I woke up in a hospital room." The blonde remained silent for a moment, "When I saw Dr. Jura enter the room, I already knew. I knew it was back. Before you got here, Dr. Jura showed me my scans and tests."
Lucy didn't have to finish the rest. He already knew.
"The cancer cells in my blood grew more rapidly than last time. The abnormal white blood cell count was shooting through the roof. The blood cancer had made its way through most of my internal organs. It's only a matter of time before it reaches my heart or brain. Dr. Jura said my chances were even slimmer than last time."
And that was when reality was beginning to set in.
This was real. This was absolutely real.
With his head in his hands, Natsu was trying to wrap his mind around the entire situation, trying to comprehend what it was that was happening. Lucy explained it all to him, but all he got out of it was that Lucy had cancer for two years, and she got better. But then the cancer came back and now her chances of surviving were 0 to none.
What the fuck?
What kind of sick joke was this?
"I know I should have told you. And I'm so sorry that I didn't ahead of time." Her voice was trembling now, and Natsu could tell she was close to tears. "I just didn't want us to change. I love what we have. And I didn't want us to stop being us. I didn't want us to revolve around me having cancer. It was my burden to bare."
Natsu's head snapped, his eyes glowering with anguish and sorrow and anger. He glared, gritting his teeth together, gripping the sheets underneath his hands.
"You're burden to bare? You're fuckin burden to bare? Seriously, Luce? That's what it was!" He understood where Lucy was coming from. As she explained her reasoning, it made sense to why she didn't tell him. Was he still pissed off as hell that she didn't tell him? Hell yeah. But that didn't mean he didn't understand.
Until those words left her mouth.
"This isn't some small mishap that we dealt with in the academy days, Natsu! This is bigger than those petty incidents! This is real!"
"I know that it's real! Just looking at you makes me know it's real!"
"You don't know a thing, you idiot! This disease I have, this cancer, it not only sucks the life out of me, but out of everyone around me! Poor Levy-chan had run herself ragged from helping me! Levy-chan was falling behind on her studies because she was so focused on helping me, so intent on reading cancer books to find some ways for me to get better, researching for the best hospitals in all of Fiore! If it wasn't for Gajeel, Levy would have failed her classes!"
"I couldn't possibly tell you because you would kill yourself helping me! And don't try to protest against me Natsu Dragneel because I know you better than anyone. You would be at my side at every second, watching over me like a hawk. You wouldn't have attended your classes, you would have been in mine. You wouldn't have gone to work, resulting in you getting fired. You would have been at my every step and that's not what I wanted! For you or for me! And that's now what I wanted for us! I wanted something in my life to remain constant, normal! And that was you! I didn't want us to change. It was my burden to share and mine only."
"But that's what makes us, us, Lucy! We share our burdens with each other! There had been plenty times in our lives where you would carry the weight of my decisions, where you would take my burdens upon yourself! And I was the same way! Because that's what we do for each other! We take the good and the bad together."
Natsu was trembling, his voice shaking. He was livid, and frustrated. How could Lucy do this? How could she hide this from him?
Lucy looked down at her hands, biting her lip. He wished he could tell what was running through her mind. Because she wasn't talking to him. And that was a first because she always talked to him. The blonde never kept him in the dark about anything.
Until now.
"They say my chances of survival is only 5%. And that I only have 6 months left."
His heart felt like it was being crushed by a boulder and his breathing was heavy. Natsu's mouth went extremely dry and the trembling increased.
But he had to be strong.
Because even if he was scared to death, even if he was scared about this whole damn thing, he needed to remain constant for his best friend. Natsu needed to let Lucy know that 5% was better than nothing.
"Then we'll take that 5%. And we'll fight like hell." Natsu claimed as he grabbed Lucy's hand and smiled with determination. "We're going to kick cancer's ass, Lucy."
Instead of tears, Lucy smiled with fierce determination, one that resembled that of Natsu's. She nodded, gripping his fist tightly in hers.
Natsu leaned forward and kissed Lucy firmly, reassuring her that he was going to be here every step of the way. She returned the kiss, almost as needy as the one he gave her. They loved each other, and that was enough.
Suddenly, that 5% meant everything.
-O-
A sigh left his lips as he slipped on his black coat. Taking a double check at the mirror, he looked over his appearance and nodded. Noticing that his bow tie was a bit tilted, he moved it slightly, so that it wasn't too noticeable.
He smiled, knowing that it was the "best day of his life." But his reflection had never showed more truth than now. His reflection casted a broken soul, a soul who had been tampered with, stepped on, and torn into millions of pieces. His reflection showed the ghost of what use to be Natsu Dragneel.
"Are you sure this is what you want to do, Natsu."
Said man turned to meet the stoic gaze of his best man and number one rival, Gray Fullbuster. The pinkette smiled, answering with "Of course."
The raven haired man gave him an unwavering look, his dark eyes bearing into his onyx colored irises. Automatically, it was evident that Natsu and Gray didn't get along with one another. They fought at every moment, even if it was over sharing the same breath of air with another. As they grew older, the violence and physicality had lessened, and it fell back on throwing insults and jabs one another.
But Gray and Natsu understood each other on an emotional level, having both lost people close to them. They silently understood one another and could speak with their body language to one another. The pair of men didn't need words spoken between them.
So Gray Fullbuster knew better than anyone that Natsu Dragneel did not want to marry Lisanna Strauss on this lovely spring day. The dark haired, stripping prince had a strong inclination that the former pyromaniac only had eyes for one woman.
"Don't bullshit me, you idiot." Gray started, "You can still walk out, you know? You don't have to go through with this. No one will judge you for walking away right now. Everyone knows, everyone understands."
Natsu stood, mulling over his friend's words. The pinkette knew that his rival/best man was right. That Natsu could walk away scotch free and there would be no repercussions with his actions.
But he had to keep his promise to Lucy.
"I know." Releasing a sigh, he brushed past his best man. "But I have to do this."
"For you? Or for her?"
Natsu stopped as he reached for the knob of the door, biting down on his lip. How did he answer that question? There really wasn't a way too.
"For the both of us."
The pinkette walked out of the room, the noises and voices engulfing his ears immediately. He could see the rows of family and friends filled from top to bottom. There in the back, Elfman Strauss, the middle of the Strauss siblings, was crying, blubbering on about his baby sister growing up so fast. Next to him, he could see the brute's wife, Evergreen, scolding him for his childish behavior. Cana Alberona was drunkenly cackling at the freakishly big man's crying habits. Levy Redfox was nursing her now swollen belly as she sat next to a very worrisome Gajeel Redfox.
Plenty of friends from over the years had gathered here today for the matrimony of him and Lisanna. He couldn't embarrass her like this, leave her at the altar. And he had a promise, a duty to fulfill.
"Ready?" Gray clasped his shoulder tightly, giving him a reassuring squeeze. The pinkette nodded.
"Let's get this party started." He grinned his signature grin, giving his best man a thumbs up.
Makarov Dreyar, headmaster of Fairy Tail Academy, stood on a pedal stool, grinning like a mad man, excited to wed some of his most favorite students to grace the halls of Fairy Tail. Natsu took his position at the front of the altar in solitude. The music began and the pink haired man inhaled sharply.
First to come out was Asuka as the precious flower girl with Laxus and Mira's boy, Riku, their ring brear, following the young girl. Evergreen and Laxus were the first from the wedding party to make its way out. If it was any other wedding, Laxus would have walked out with his wife, but his wife was the bride's maid of honor. Behind them was Juvia and Gajeel. After, the maid of honor, Mira Dreyar, made her way through the hall with the best man, Gray Fullbuster, hanging off her arm.
And finally, the wedding hymn began.
Natsu looked up to see Lisanna walking down the aisle with Elfman at her side, holding in his tears. She looked beautiful, the white dress making her bright, blue eyes pop. Back in the academy years, Lisanna had short white hair, but she let it grow a bit over the years. Now, it reached her shoulders.
He smiled, his hands feeling antsy and clammy. After this, there was no turning back. Gray's words were circling in his head, his doubts growing louder. His chances at breaking this entire thing off were slimming down by the second.
When Lisanna finally reached the altar, Elfman was standing next to her, tears spilling from his eyes. Natsu internally sighed, thinking of how much a crybaby the brute of a man was. The three turned towards Makarov. The older man nodded and smiled.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union of Natsu Dragneel and Lisanna Strauss in holy matrimony, which is an honorable estate that is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently and soberly." Makarov began.
"Marry me."
"Into this estate these two persons present come now to be joined. If anyone can show just cause why they may not be lawfully joined together, let them speak now or forever hold their peace."
"Natsu."
"Who gives this woman to be married to this man?" Makarov asked, as he shifted his gaze towards Elfman.
"My big sister, Mirajane, and I, Elfman." The white haired man gave Lisanna away to Natsu, who had his arm reached out for her. "Natsu, you are a man for marrying my sister! My sister and I are putting her in your hands, so you better take care of her." Lisanna giggled and Natsu gave a sheepish smile.
"I'll try my best."
"Lucy, marry me."
After the snow white haired man's mini speech, he left the altar and Natsu and Lisanna locked hands, staring into each one another's eyes. But as the pinkette stared into the abyss of Lisanna's blue irises, all the man saw was a faded chocolate brown.
"Natsu, do you have your vows?" The older man commented, with said man nodding his head. The pinkette pulled out a small piece of paper, his messy handwriting scribbled on it.
"I'm not marrying you."
"I, Natsu Dragneel, take thee Lisanna Strauss, to be my wedded wife, before these witnesses I vow to love you and care for you as long as we both shall live. I take you, with all your faults and your strengths, as I offer myself to you with my faults and my strengths. I will help you when you need help, and will turn to you when I need help. I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life. To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, honor, and cherish, 'til death do us part."
"Don't be a weirdo and say yes."
"Lisanna, please recite your vows."
"You're the one being weird, asking me to marry you. You're only doing that because time's running out."
"I, Lisanna Strauss, take thee Natsu Dragneel, to be my wedded husband, before these witnesses I vow to love you and care for you as long as we both shall live. I take you, with all your faults and your strengths, as I offer myself to you with my faults and my strengths. I will help you when you need help, and will turn to you when I need help. I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life. To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, honor, and cherish, 'til death do us part."
"I would marry you even if time wasn't running out."
"If he may, will the ring bearer please bring forward the rings?" The oldest Dreyar asked as Riku, his great grandson, came forward with the pillow that had the wedding bands resting on it comfortably.
"I'm not marrying you."
Makarov reached forward, grabbing one ring, before reciting the symbolism that is the Exchange of the rings. "The wedding ring is the outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual bond which unites two loyal hearts in endless love. It is a seal of the vows Natsu Dragneel and Lisanna Strauss have made to one another. May she and he, who give them, and who wear these rings, live together in unity, love and happiness for the rest of their lives."
"I'm not marrying you."
Makarov handed the pinkette boy- no, man the first ring. He received it with a smile, shifting his gaze back towards Lisanna. He knew. Natsu knew that once these bands were placed on their fingers, the deal was sealed and there was no turning back.
He would live up to Lucy's promise by placing this wedding band on Lisanna's finger.
"Natsu, repeat after me." The headmaster of Fairy Tail Academy recited the Exchange of the Rings, where Natsu followed suit right after.
"Marry me. Please, just marry me."
"Lisanna Strauss I give you this ring as a symbol of our vows, and with all that I am,
and all that I have, I honor you. With this ring, I thee wed."
"No. I'm not marrying you because I'm dying."
The old man turned to Lisanna and repeated what he had told Natsu. She grabbed his hand with a silly smile on settled on her beautifully glossed lips. He felt no warmth, no spark, no connection as the blue eyed maiden gripped his hand tightly.
"Natsu Dragneel, I give you this ring as a symbol of our vows, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you. With this ring, I thee wed."
In the background, the wedding hymn began, and Natsu's heart jumped to his throat. With this kiss, his fate was sealed.
"To Natsu and Lisanna, two of my most prominent students at Fairy Tail Academy, I wish you nothing but the best in your new life together. May you live long and full of grace." If they were close enough, they could see tears in the eyes of the man wedding them. "You may now kiss the bride!"
Natsu and Lisanna locked eyes, onyx clashing with blue as they leaned towards one another. Lisanna was still wearing her smile, with her heart on her sleeve. As they grew closer together, Lisanna's pale white face turned to a peacher color, her snow white hair transforming to a bright blonde, and her sparkling blue eyes turned to a light, chocolate brown.
Lucy was the girl he wanted to marry, not Lisanna.
But he couldn't marry Lucy because she was dead.
When the couple's lips touched, he could hear the cheering and screaming in the background. Lisanna's lips still felt so foreign to him. But as he kissed his new wife, he just imagined that his blonde haired best friend was the one he was sharing the special stepping stone in his life with.
"I'm asking you to marry me because I'm in love with you, not because you have cancer."
When the two broke away from each other, the youngest of the Strauss siblings was blushing, giggling like a mad school girl. And he grinned with her, no matter how fake it was. Because he wouldn't spoil the day for Lisanna. This girl deserved to have the best day of her life.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Dragneel!"
"Lucy Dragneel. Has a nice ring to it, huh?"
-O-
But if God forbid fate should step in
And force us into a goodbye
The forbidding, beeping noise in the background kept going off, the static of the old TV humming in the background. Natsu watched with tired eyes as the nurse helped Lucy lay back down against the bed, holding her tubes and IV stand.
Lucy flinched slightly as she laid back against the bed, her body frail and weak from all the medication and treatments she had undergone the past 6 months. Her once curvaceous, glowing body was now pale and frail. Her once long, blonde, shimmering hair was now dull and short. After all, there was no point in keeping your hair long when you were a chemo patient.
Once the nurse had Lucy back in her bed, she left some quick instructions and walked out the door, leaving the two to themselves.
It destroyed Natsu to see Lucy like this; so weak and helpless. She couldn't do anything to help herself. Everything Lucy did, it caused physical pain. The pink haired man had become her rock, her pillar of strength.
And it had worsened once Lucy decided that she didn't want chemotherapy anymore.
That led to a shouting match with Natsu as he insisted that she continued with treatment to kill the cancer, to get better. He had told her how she was just giving up and letting the cancer defeat her. But Lucy fired back with the consequences and side effects of the treatment and how it made her want to kill herself every day. How the chemo made her vomit all the time and how she couldn't keep anything down. How the medication made her feel so sick and left her groaning in bed rather than being able to live her life.
Natsu remained quiet, Lucy's words settling in the air. It was ripping him apart, not being able to do anything for her. All the pink haired man could do was sit beside her and make sure she was comfortable. And hope that the treatment was enough to kill the cancer in her body.
"Hey Natsu."
Said man perked at the mention of his name. "What's up, Lucy?"
"We fought a hard battle, don't you think?" She smiled weakly at him, and his heart shattered.
"What are you talking about, Luce? You're still fighting hard? I've never seen someone fight as strong as you." He said as he wiped her bangs from her side. Lucy's scoffed slightly, a ghostly smile on her lips.
"I'm getting really tired of fighting."
"Just a little longer, Luce. A little longer and then we'll be in the home stretch. And then you'll get better. You just have to keep pushing forward." Natsu reassured.
There was a soft smile playing on her lips. He was sure he seemed desperate. His best friend was hanging on a thread, barely pulling to stay alive. These past few months had been so hard. When Lucy said cancer sucked the life out of not only her, but everyone around her, she was absolutely correct.
It was evident that all those who helped Lucy were exhausted. Levy, already knowing the hardships of helping a cancer patient, spoke from experience and gave tips to everyone. Gray, Wendy, Erza, Levy, Gajeel, Lisanna, Mira, Cana, himself, they were all there for Lucy and whatever support she needed. But it was taxing. And everyone could tell that Lucy had withdrawn from their help because she had noticed how tiring it was for all those who were at her aid.
Natsu, out of all the Fairy Tail gang, was the one who saw the worst. He saw Lucy at her weakest, her most vulnerable, and her most helpless states. He was there for her at 3 in the morning while she was puking the contents in her stomach out, while she was experiencing loss in memory, cognitive dysfunction, when she couldn't walk to save her life, when she had exploding headaches at 4 in the afternoon, when she couldn't eat for days at a time, and when she began to lose her pretty blonde hair.
But he never complained.
The pinkette wanted to be there for it all.
Lucy had tried to push him away, shutting her out, giving him the excuse that she was letting him go and not holding him to any promises. That she wasn't going to hate him if he decided to walk out while he could. And Natsu would kiss her and assure her that he would climb through hell and back if it meant spending every minute he could with her and helping her beat this disease and come out victorious.
"Natsu, I'm dying." The young Heartfilia said, with a smile etched on her lips. Natsu scowled, not understanding how she could say something like that to him with a smile on her face.
"Don't say that. You're not dying."
She sighed. The smile dropping from her face. "We've tried everything. Every medication, every treatment, chemo, everything. And it can't stop how quickly the blood cancer is racing through my body. We kill it in one place and it resurfaces not even a week later. I think it's time we accept that were fighting an already lost battle."
"No!" Natsu stood up, tears beginning to fall from his dark, onyx eyes. "I refuse to accept that! I refuse to let you give up! Not when we've gotten this far! Not when we've gotten through so much!"
"Please don't give up yet, Lucy. Please, fight just a little longer. Because I can't lose you. I can't. You are the only person in my life who hasn't left me, who hasn't abandoned me. So please, please don't leave me." The tears were freely running down Natsu's face, his voice trembling. He collapsed on the chair at Lucy's side. He could feel Lucy cradling his head to her chest, stroking his pink locks lovingly.
The pinkette wrapped his arms around his thing, fragile body, pulling her closer to him.
"I'll fight a little longer. I won't give up yet. I'll keep fighting."
The pair sat in silence as they embraced each other with such dependency. Time was a formidable foe. Each second was mocking them as the sixth month period was coming in to a close end. Each minute that passed was a minute taken away from the two and they knew it.
Natsu knew Lucy was dying.
He could see the way her tired eyes fell, her body ached from the consequences from chemotherapy, the way her voice was always dipping dangerously low, the way her once beautiful, glowing eyes had dimmed, the way her radiant smile was now barely tugging at her lips.
He knew there wasn't much time left.
But he wasn't ready to accept that.
He wasn't ready to let go.
A few weeks had passed, and Lucy showed no signs of recovery. With Lucy refusing chemotherapy, it didn't help the acceleration of the blood cancer cells. The blonde haired maiden was under excruciating amounts of pain. When Dr. Jura had come in and examined her, he informed her that her body was preparing itself for organ failure. And he warned Lucy that it only got worse from here on out.
There was a solemn air hanging around the former members of Fairy Tail as they sat in the waiting room, going in to talk to Lucy one at a time.
They didn't know how much time they had left with their beloved blonde haired friend. But neither of them wanted to miss an opportunity to spend as much time as they could with Lucy.
Natsu was silent, his head cradled in his hands. He was overwhelmed with inner turmoil, anguish, and misery. There was nothing else that could be done. They've tried everything, absolutely everything. They fought a hard battle, pulling out all the tricks in the books, doing anything they could do to survive.
But in the end it was a hopeless feat.
Because there just wasn't a cure for cancer.
And it was hard, with the other members of Fairy Tail being around. They looked at him with pity, whispering, talking in hushed tones. He was grieving, not death, Natsu would remind them all.
Though it wasn't fair to lash out at the others. They had all been affected by Lucy's diagnosis as well. Some more than others, but they all felt the same pain.
"I condemn you."
Erza's strong, booming voice filled the endless void in his ears. The pinkette remained still in his hands, but was listening inventively to the words that the fierce Titania of Fairy Tail spoke.
"You have been there for Lucy since the start. You have sat at her bedside, 24/7. You've seen more than any of us could have handled. You are the reason Lucy keeps fighting, the reason Lucy has survived this long. You have become her pillar of strength, her beacon of hope. You have become her anchor, Natsu Dragneel."
"Why are you telling me this." Natsu spoke, his voice breaking.
"Because I could not do what you did."
The pinkette turned, and out of the corner of his eye, he could see the endless stream of tears cascading down the cheeks of the fierce and abominable Erza Scarlet. The scarlet haired woman had a hand covering her eyes as she clenched her teeth tightly.
Natsu had never seen Erza this way.
As he scanned the room, it was then he realized how much Lucy's diagnosis really affected everyone. Wendy was crying her eyes out to Jellal, who wore a grim expression. Laxus was sitting cross armed with heavy sadness in his eyes. Levy's face was buried in Gajeel's shirt as he rubbed her soothing back, his own solemn expression matching that of Laxus. Gray was off to himself, his head down casted, a grim line at his lips while Juvia cried to herself close by.
And here was so many others.
"Natsu, she wants to see you."
Called man looked up to see the Strauss siblings standing over him. Mirajane had silent tears falling from her azure blue eyes, while Elfman was sobbing like a baby. Lisanna had a hand to her mouth as she held back a chocking sob.
The former pyromaniac stood up slowly, and made his way to Lucy's room. All eyes were on the man's figure, knowing that after his visit, the inventible was coming.
Natsu entered the room without knocking, the chivalry and politeness not mattering anymore.
"Lucy?" He called out. Said girl was laying on the bed, a book in her arms.
When Natsu looked closely, he realized it was the picture album book that she had started back in the primary years at the Academy.
She looked up at him and smiled weakly.
"I needed something to make me smile, and I figured this would be the perfect antidote. Besides you of course." The blonde chuckled to herself. The pink haired man sat down in the chair next to her and looked over towards the album book.
"There are a lot of precious memories in this book. Whenever I need to lift my spirits or whenever I just need to laugh, I pull this out. And my day is instantly better." The young Heartfilia gazed over her… best friend and noticed the emptiness in his eyes, the fatigue finally catching up to him.
"Natsu, will you take care of this for me after I'm gone?"
His head snapped, his tired, empty onyx eyes locking with her dimly light, crestfallen brown eyes. Clenching his jaw tightly, Natsu gripped at the material of his jeans under his palms.
He didn't want to think about Lucy dead.
Opening his mouth to reply, no words were able to be said. His voice was stuck in the formidable knot in his throat.
"You're angry at me, aren't you?" The blonde asked quietly, her eyes losing focus. "You're angry with me because I stopped fighting it. Because I basically gave up."
Was he angry at Lucy for stopping treatment?
Absolutely.
But he didn't blame her for feeling what she felt. It wasn't her fault she got cancer.
"I can't be angry at you, Luce." Natsu finally spoke, grabbing her soft, fragile hand. "I just don't know what to think anymore. About any of this. I feel like we, you, fought so hard, for so long. You gave it your all, you're absolute best. And it still wasn't enough!"
"It's driving me insane! I tried researching all over the web, finding, searching, looking for something that could cure you, something that could give you a few more months so they have more time to find a cure. We've tried so hard and we still ended up short. I feel like I've failed you, like I've let you down because I couldn't do anything for you in the end." His voice was trembling again, shaking with every word.
"That's not true." She whispered, "You did so much for me. You gave me so much. You gave me real, true, unconditional love. You gave me a chance to fall in love with someone as amazing as you. You gave me so many memories. You never gave up on me, nor abandoned me. I learned so much about you these past few months that previously took me years to find out."
"You gave me forever within 5%, Natsu Dragneel. And I love you so much for it." Lucy reached over and kissed Natsu soundly, her own tears hot on her cheeks.
The pinkette needed to feel her close to him. He was desperate for her kisses, savoring each peck, each kiss. Because he knew that it was only a matter of time before he would never be able to kiss Lucy Heartfilia again.
A few hours passed as the couple fell asleep with one another. Natsu was woken up with a startling jump from Lucy. She was screeching, panting for air. She was trashing around, gasping, barely whispering of how much pain she was in.
Natsu immediately called Jura, to where they quickly wheeled Lucy away, running every test possible. After almost an hour, Lucy was wheeled back to her room, asleep in her bed. She had to be put to sleep with a tranquilizing medicine because she couldn't handle the pain.
It was then that Dr. Jura told him to prepare for the worst because Lucy's final, vital organs were beginning to shut down on her.
His worst nightmare was happening.
Natsu watched her sleep silently, rubbing his hands together with angst and anxiety. He needed Lucy to wake up soon so he could tell her, tell her how much he loves her and how much she had always meant to him his entire life. And he sat for what seemed like hours until the blonde groggily woke herself up.
After asking for water and Natsu assisting her, they remained silent, the clock ticking away, stealing all their previous time again.
"I can't lose you." Natsu started, "We haven't even had a chance at us yet. We've always said we don't need labels, that we don't need to be defined by "boyfriend/girlfriend." But I wanna be able to call you my girlfriend. I want to be able to call you my fiancé in the future. I want to be able to call you wife, then the mother of my children."
"I want to be able to explore the world with you. To see things that others had never seen before. To try all sorts of meals from other countries, to do everything and anything our hearts told us too. I want to be able to go on never ending adventures with you."
The room remained silent as Lucy's heavy breathing filled the silence.
"Promise me something will you?" The blonde haired maiden whispered.
"What is it?" Natsu asked as he laid beside her.
"Promise me that you will love again. Promise me that you will find another girl to love, another girl to give yourself too. Promise me that you will show your kids pictures of me, and tell them stories about us. And tell them all the havoc you wrecked while dragging me through it. Promise me that you won't let me dying hold you back from living your life. Because Natsu, all I have ever wanted for you was too live a happy life. And I really wanted to be part of it. I really wanted to live it with you, but it seems God has other plans for me. So promise me that you won't let me stop you from living a fulfilling life."
Natsu was taken aback by Lucy's request. Was she really making him promise her such a thing? How could Lucy possibly think he was going to be able to move on in his life? Find another woman to love? Marry some who wasn't her.
"I can't promise you that. I won't promise you that." He said sternly.
"I need you to promise me that, please Natsu. I can't leave this world knowing that you're going to drown yourself in misery after I'm gone. I can't leave knowing that you won't live a fulfilling life because of me. Please, promise me that you will find someone else to love, that you will get married and have little Dragneel's running around. Promise me you won't stop living the moment I take my last breath."
"How can you make me promise you something like that? I can't fall in love with another woman. I can't marry another woman, nevertheless father children! Lucy, you're the only one I want. You're the only person who I can truly live a happy life with. If I can't have you, then I don't want anyone else." Natsu retorted.
But he could see as those words left his mouth, Lucy's heart was breaking with every word he spoke.
"Natsu, I'm dying. I'm dying right now, at this very moment. This is real, so real. I'll be lucky to make it through the night. And if I do, I certainly won't make it through the end of the week! So grow up! And face reality! I am dying! And I can't leave this earth knowing that my best friend, the love of my life, the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, is wallowing himself in self-pity, in agony, in suffering! I can't leave knowing that you are killing yourself."
"I need you to live for me, Natsu. I need you to live for the both of us, for the life we could have had! I need you to continue moving forward for us. So I need you to promise me that you will do as I ask! Because God help me I will come down from heaven and knock some damn sense into you if you don't!"
Lucy was right. He didn't want to accept the reality that she was dying, and that she could very well die tonight. Natsu didn't want to accept the fact that Lucy Heartfilia would no longer be in his life.
"So please, I am begging you. Please, please promise me that you will continue moving on forward and have a life for yourself once I'm gone. Please, Natsu. This is my final request. This is all I'm asking for."
How could Natsu say no?
The pinkette crushed the blonde in a bear crushing hug, inhaling her ever scent, taking in every part of her body as he meshed their bodies together. He needed to feel her next to him.
"Okay, I promise Lucy. I will live for the both of us."
She sighed in relief, smiling into his hug, hugging him back with the little strength her frail body had left.
"I love you, Natsu."
"And I love you, Lucy."
Later that night, Lucy Heartfilia took her final breath.
"Our adventure never ends."
-O-
It was a beautiful day outside, despite the frigid temperatures. A young child around eight years old hummed to herself a she walked along the frozen garden. She had light, faint pink hair with striking blue eyes and pale white skin. Her pearly whites and small grin resembled closely to her father's signature grin.
"Fairy, where are you going? I'll gather up all of the light to shine on your tomorrow. Snowing, I could smile honestly because of you, because it was you."
The child sung as she walked along the sidewalk of the grass. It was a song that she very much enjoyed. Her daddy had sung it to her a few times, always dedicating to the person he called her "guardian angel." Her daddy said that her guardian angel would always watch over her, protecting her, ensuring that no harm came to her. He had showed her pictures of her guardian angel, and Nami couldn't agree with her daddy more.
Her guardian angel really did look like an angel with her pretty blonde hair and beautiful brown eyes and peach colored skin. Nami Dragneel wish she could have met this pretty lady. In all the pictures her daddy had showed her, she was always smiling and she could tell that this pretty lady and her daddy were best friends.
And the stories that her auntie Juvia and uncle underwear man (she meant Gray) and auntie Levy and uncle bolt head (She also meant Gajeel) had always made this Lucy Heartfilia person seem to be like the sweetest, most kindest, funniest person ever.
Her mommy had always referred to her as her "auntie Lucy," who was in heaven with all the good angels. Her mommy, Lisanna Dragneel, had told her that God calls back his good angels to heaven when he doesn't have any more angels to watch over children like Nami.
Nami knows that it makes her daddy and mommy sad when they talk about the pretty blonde lady. The blue eyed child could see the way her daddy's bright eyes dim and he loses his great big smile and the way her mommy starts to cry a little bit.
"Cast magic on me who had forgotten how to laugh, you who changed everything with a single smile are my Fairy Snowing, I could smile honestly."
The child of Natsu Dragneel and Lisanna Strauss sung as she continued on her path. The young one already knew where she was off too, having been here too many times. The light pink haired child was sure she knew this route better than she did the one for school.
"Nami! Be careful not to fall!" Called child could hear her father cry from behind her. She turned around and smiled at her dad, a smile that resembled Natsu Dragneel's signature grin so well.
"Daddy, you're taking for-ev-er! I wanna see Auntie Lucy already!"
Natsu Dragneel faintly smiled as he watched his oldest daughter run towards Lucy's resting place. Being a father of two, teaching elementary school children, and keeping his family happy and supported had taken a toll on the older pink haired man. Once filled with endless energy and wonder, Natsu Dragneel had certainly settled down and calmed as an adult.
After being married for 10 years and having two children, it ages one. He was still optimistic and stubborn, but he didn't act first or rush into things anymore. When raising two kids, he realized patience and tactic was the key.
His oldest daughter, Nami, was certainly a "firecracker," as Screw for Brains (Gajeel) would like to say. She was always full of energy and jumping on the walls. The link pink haired girl was always wearing a grin and her eyes were always filled with curiosity and wonder. She was somewhat of a tomboy, always playing rough with the boys (specifically Gray's and Erza's boys) and wasn't afraid to get dirty.
Sora, his five year old son, was a bit more sensitive than his sister. He had white hair like the Strauss siblings, but had his father's striking black eyes. His smile resembled his mother's more than it did his fathers, but he certainly did have similar facial structures as Natsu. Sora was a bit more quiet and enjoyed staying inside, reading through Natsu's lesson plan's and Lisanna's notes on her patients (animals, keep in mind). The snow white haired boy enjoyed running around outside occasionally, but he was already showing signs of being far more intelligent than his older sister.
Natsu loved both his kids with all his heart. They were his entire life. Even when he and Lisanna weren't always on good terms, his kids were who brought him out of the darkness. They were his pride and joy. From Nami's energetic attitude and her excellence in sports to Sora's intelligence and excitement in wildlife, Natsu couldn't be a more proud parent.
Married life with Lisanna had ended up being a lot more fulfilling than he thought it would be. Any time the couple had something they needed to discuss seriously, they always did it away from the kids. The two never tried having shouting matches or throwing profanities at each other (it was beyond difficult for Natsu). The last thing the two adults wanted to do was fight in front of their children.
Over time, he grew to care immensely for Lisanna, even love her. But the pink haired man never fell in love with his wife. It was a sad thought, to not be in love with your wife, but Lisanna understood and took what she could from him. And Natsu couldn't ask for more. While he and Lisanna did have their fights, the youngest of the Strauss siblings was nothing but good to him. She gave him two beautiful kids, a lovely home, and a steady life. He couldn't really ask for more.
Except, secretly, he did.
As the older pink haired man watched his daughter kneel over Lucy's grave, close her eyes, and mutter a quick prayer, he let the smile fall from his face. Sometimes, he imagined having this life with his best friend and love of his life, Lucy Heartfilia. Nami and Sora still in the picture of course, just with Lucy as their mother. Sora would have Lucy's beautiful blonde hair and Nami would have her mesmerizing, soft brown eyes.
Was it cruel? To imagine a life with another woman?
Absolutely.
But Natsu couldn't help himself sometimes. Lucy was such a huge part of his life. The blonde was a constant variable. She was always there to clean up after his messes, and never once complained about it. And he tried his hardest to not let it affect him. He tried his best to move on.
But he never truly got over Lucy's death.
It came like a vortex, causing havoc and panic, disrupting their once peaceful lives. It came in, sucking the life out of everyone, not caring who and what was sucked into the tunnel of misery.
And it hit him the worst.
"Daddy! Do you have anything to say to Auntie Lucy?" His daughter asked as she tugged on his sleeve. He smiled at baby girl.
"Yeah, I do."
"Well then get over here! I've already told her how I beat up Silver (Gray's son) because he thought I couldn't beat him in a wrestling match!" Natsu laughed, remembering the angry phone call he received from the underwear prince. He couldn't have been a more proud father.
"Okay, okay!" The now school teacher said with a small smile. He kneeled down in front of Lucy's headstone and smiled weakly.
Natsu closed his eyes and the rambling began.
"Hey Luce. How's it going? Have you annoyed all the others up there with your constant tantrums and crying?" He chuckled to himself, causing Nami to lift a brow at her father. Natsu could already imagine Lucy's cheeks puffing in embarrassment, her diligently saying she wasn't a cry baby.
"Sorry for Nami's rambling. I'm afraid she gets that from me haha. But I'm sure you already knew that." Natsu paused. "She's getting so big, huh? I still remember the day she was born. She was so tiny and I was so scared to hold her because I thought I would drop her. But I knew, somewhere up there, you were telling me to stop being a chicken and to hold my daughter. And you haven't even seen how much Sora has grown yet. He looks like Lis a lot, but everyone says he has my face."
"Life is good. I'm still teaching. I'm teaching 2nd graders this year. They have endless energy, and are nonstop. Now I understand how much of a pain in the ass I was." Natsu paused, reminiscing on his younger, rebellious days. "Levy's kid in my class and I always have to remind her not to call me Uncle Natsu. She called me that once and now I have the whole class calling me Uncle Natsu. Kind of embarrassing, but eh, it's no big deal in the end. Lisanna is still working as a veterinarian. She loves her job. You know how much Lis has always loved animals. And I'm pretty sure Sora is taking right after her. He is so fascinated with her notes and pictures. He's always asking me to pull up pictures of dogs and cats. Recently, he's become obsessed with marine animals. I have to always remind him that Lisanna isn't that type of doctor."
Nami noticed the way her father's face had suddenly turned melancholic. Whenever they came on special days, like today, she noticed that he got really sad. And she didn't like it. The blue eyed Dragneel didn't like seeing her daddy, the greatest person on this earth, with sad eyes. The oldest Dragneel had only ever seen her daddy cry once, and that was when Sora was really sick as a baby. Her daddy, who was always so strong, was pleading with his life for God not to take her little brother from them. And she could have sworn he said something like "not again," in that sentence.
Something that Nami noticed was her father never spoke out loud during his prayers. The oldest Dragneel was always silent as he bowed his head and closed his eyes. And Nami would know this because she was the one that accompanied her father all the time. Sora only came once or twice, not really understanding who Lucy was and why they came. And her mommy was too busy to visit sometimes, though, she would visit at least once a month. So in the end, it was always her daddy and her that ended up coming.
"It's hard to believe that it's been 14 years since you died. I still feel like I will wake up one morning and learn that this was all a terrible nightmare. That I'll jump out of bed, get ready for school, and meet you outside my house so we could walk to Fairy Tail together, like we used too." He gulped, clenching his teeth tightly. "But then I wake up and realize that it's real. That you're really gone. That you've died and left me behind."
"I try my best to keep that promise we made. I've had a life. I'm married, with two kids, and have a job that I enjoy. I've talked to kids about you, about our adventures. I've showed them pictures, and even told Nami and Sora that you're there guardian angel. But, it still hurts Lucy. It hurts knowing that you and I never got a crack at life before it even started. I feel like we pulled the shortest straw, and picked the wrong side of the coin."
"I miss you so much. I think about you all the time, even when I don't think I do. I wish that God never took you away from me. I wish we could have had a chance. I wish I could stop hurting so much, but I don't think I could ever recover." Natsu could feel tears filling at his eye rims, which he couldn't allow. Not when Nami was standing only a few feet from him. He couldn't cry. He wouldn't cry.
"I won't be able to recover. You're death hit me the worst. I think a part of me was lost forever. And nothing will ever bring it back." He shifted his eyes towards his oldest daughter and grinned at her, causing Nami to throw her father a look of skepticism. The pink haired former pyromaniac reached out towards his daughters and ruffled her pink hair, making her giggle, squealing "daddy!"
"But you give me the strength to continue moving forward. And whenever I'm struggling or losing myself, I think of you, and I get right back up. I try my hardest every day because I know that if you were here now, you would be too. And I can't let you down, Luce. Not you, not my kids, not Lisanna, not myself. So I have to continue looking forward."
"Daddy! Can we go get some hot chocolate now?" Nami Dragneel pleaded with her big, soft blue eyes as she tugged on her father's jacket, causing him to chuckle.
"Yeah. We'll bring some for mommy and Sora too." He answered, her eyes glowing with glee. Natsu grinned, padding on his daughter's head.
Nami Dragneel jumped in excitement and began to trail on towards the ice cream parlor. She said a quick goodbye to Lucy and was already imagining the different pastries she could get with her hot chocolate. The older pink haired man hauled himself up and looked down at Lucy's headstone with a small smile.
"I'm going to do my best to continue living. And making something out of it." There was a sudden chill in the air, and Natsu closed his eyes, feeling the wind moving around him. It felt very familiar, as if he wrapped in the arms of a long lost lover.
"I love you, Lucy."
"Come on, daddy! We don't want the shop to close, right!?" She grabbed him and pulled him towards the exit of the cemetery, where Natsu was bellowing in laughter as his daughter dragged him away.
"Okay! Last one to the coffee shop is a rotten dragon egg!" Natsu shouted with a mischievous glint in his eye.
"You're on, old man!"
Both Dragneel's sped off, out of the cemetery's gates and towards the street that led towards their favorite coffee shop. Natsu felt like he was 10 years old again, racing Lucy to the small candy shop outside the doors campus. But this time, 25 years later, it was his daughter.
Natsu would keep on living, making the best of his life. He would make his family proud, keep his kids happy, and treat Lisanna with what she deserved. He would keep on moving forward.
And eventually, somewhere in the far off future, meet Lucy Heartfilia again.
"Snowing Fairy, I gather all of the light that you gave me and I'll shout, Snow Fairy… Don't say goodbye."
-O-
Singing, long live all the mountains we moved
I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you
And long, long live the look on your face
And bring on all the pretenders
One day, we will be remembered
A/N: I think I have a thing for writing depressing stories where Lucy dies because this is the third one I've written where Lucy dies. Maybe I just like to make Natsu suffer. I don't know haha. Anyway! I hope you all enjoyed this one shot! The format is a little new from what I've done before. But I think it works out in the end!
And yes, the song Nami Dragneel is singing is "Snow Fairy," Fairy Tail's very first opening song (taking it WAY back). I was going through the lyrics and I thought it fit very well for the very end. Don't mind Nami and Sora Dragneel too much. They are just quick OC's I came up with. Not going to lie though, Sora was named Sora because I have an obsession with Kingdom Hearts right now so yeah!
The wedding scene wasn't confusing for you all right? The italics during the wedding ceremony was a conversation between Natsu and Lucy, where he asked her to marry him. Just so you all know. If you still are confused, go ahead and just let me know in your reviews and I'll explain in a message.
I hope I didn't make Natsu seem like a jerk at the end when he was imagining Lucy in his future or during the wedding. Because ultimately, Lucy was the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. And Lisanna knew that. But because Lisanna is a sweetheart and loves Natsu dearly (at least in my story), she was willing to throw away the fact that she was his 2nd option. It's tragic on both ends. Natsu married another woman when his heart belonged to one that was dead while Lisanna married a man who would never be in love with her.
Anyway, hope you all enjoyed this VERY LONG one shot! Reviews, comments, concerns, criticism are always acceptable! Let me know what you guys think! More one shots are to come! Just be patient
Until next time!
- Dark Waffle
