Worth Fighting:

Things were not looking good for the planet Osgil. The forces of Chaos were rampaging unchecked. The Space Marines were nowhere to be seen. The Imperial Guard Regiments continued fighting, overextended and overtaxed. The sound of gunfire echoed in the ears of men. Mortars were fired. Lasguns tore through line after line of Cultist and occasionally Chaos Space Marine. Yet there seemed no end in sight. For all their valor the Imperial Guard had not the strength to fight the forces of chaos. Already the final attack had begun on the desiccated carcass that had once been a city of life and beauty.

Amidst the endless screams and fury of battle, a Kasarkin crept up a slope. Looking through his sight he spied the oddest thing he had ever witnessed in his entire life.

Two Orks was hanging onz to a ledge, and each otherz the Imperial Boyz fought it out with the Chaos Boyz. Their names were Slugga, and Shoota. The skyscraper theyz was hanging onto fell over beneath a barrage of artillery. Down they crashed, and landed in the rubble dazed. The Imperialz Boyz and the Chaos Boyz closed in around, firing weapons at eachother en masse.

The nearest Ork Waagh was well over twenty thousand lightyears away and they knew it. 'I'z can't kills all des humies Slugga!' said Shoota. He fell exhausted against the side of a wall. The Imperial Guards fired volley after volley into lines of Chaos.

'I knowz! By all rights we'ze gotz nothing ta do with dis fighting!' said Slugga. 'Boyz in those old fightz had lotz a chances of turning tail and running away with their pointy tailed between their legz! We'ze not got tails, but dats besides da point! Da point is, theyz was hanging onz ta something!'

'Whatz we'ze got to hang on toes Slugga? Da buildings are all-'

'QUIET! I'mz telling da story!' Roared Slugga as a grenade exploded nearby. 'But I'ze think I understands now what dey were hangin onto!'

'Who dat?' The Orks were momentarily distracted, as a dark presence made itself known.

A Chaos Sorcerer now stood atop the ledge, framed against the falling sun and a blood red sky. His staff sent forth unholy specters as he summoned to him all evil. And around him the Cultists and Chaos Space Marines rallied. A final brutal assault upon the waning power of the Imperial Lines was now beginning.

And at that moment it was as if the Kasarkin could see everything that had happened, and that would happen. One long chain of events stretching far back across a thousand worlds. The forces of Chaos would pillage and burn, and tear apart or twist all that had once been green and good in this world. Then Chaos would reign, and the only option remaining would be an exterminatus.

If the Sorcerer lived, this ruin would be his world. And all that he loved would be lost. He raised his gun and pulled back the loaded before firing a single shot. It echoed throughout the cityscape as the shot sped through the air in almost slow motion-

And missed completely the Chaos Sorcerer. It did, however, blast the Chaos Lord climbing up the ledge behind. He fell backward, the shot piercing his left eye. 'Helmet technology guys. Look into it.' muttered the Kasarkin.

The Lord of the Chaos Space Marines reeled and spewed blood. And the Imperial Guard pressed their advantage. The Chaos Sorcerer sought to rally his confused forces. He bade them press forward and gain victory with ease by a critical mass of bodies.

But then something happened the Gods of Chaos did not intend.

'Dat dere's some good in this universe Shoota! And it's worth fightin!' And then Slugga and Shoota charged the Chaos Boyz. They hit the resident Chaos Sorcerer across the face so hard that his head was swept clean off. It went careening and spinning away to land in an unfortunate rabbit hole. And thus the battle was won for the Imperial Guard, and the game of Chaos Sorcerer Golf invented in the same moment.

Unfortunately, it never became much of a hit. The supply of Chaos Sorcerers became very short with the Orks hunting them for their Helmets.

Shortly thereafter a group of Space Marines arrived to aid with the mop up. Their Captain, finding little to warrant his direct attention, called for a debriefing.

'You are to be commended for your heroic defense of Osgil.' He said. 'However, I must for the record inquire after the exact nature of your victory. Your records state that it was a Kasarkin who shot the Chaos Lord. However, they fail to state how the Chaos Sorcerer was slain. How do you explain this discrepancy?'

'...Well...'

'...You're not going to believe this.'

'An Ork killed him.'

'There was a Waagh in this Sector as well?! How is it that none of the orbital relays gave us this data?! This is a criminal lack of communication, gentlemen.'

'No, there wasn't a Waagh. There were just two Orks hanging from a ledge. Then the Chaos Marines blew up the skyscraper the ledge was one. The Orks got angry, and they bowled over the Space Marines and knocked off the head of the Sorcerer.'

'...I see. Well the next subject of business-'

'What, that's it?! You're not going to call me a liar or-'

'I have been Captain of this Space Marine Company for twenty years. I have led five separate invasions against Ork Waaghs of various sizes. Often they involved the taint of Chaos. In those engagements, the first thing I learned about Orks is that nothing about them makes sense.

Bring up the next item on the agenda!'

'Sir yes sir!'

And that was the end of that.

Authors note:

Not much to tell. It was just a fun idea that occurred to me. It seemed in character with Orks, given how random their actions can be. Perhaps some may take issue with the Space Marine Captain. But each Captain is different. Chances are there is at least one in the innumerable Space Marines who fits this persona. And if not, it's my own custom Space Marine Squad.

This is why Warhammer 40K is awesome. It's so large scale, the campaigns, and battles you fight are effectively cannon. Anything can happen, with a very few exceptions.