Eenie Meenie…
By firechild
Rated K
Category: drabble(ish) (well, okay, not really, not even close, but I can dream, can't I?)
Warning: um… do not read if allergic to cats?
A/N: This is for Classy, who said she was in the mood for something from me…
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creak
"Hey, do you think she's really out?"
"Shhhh, Al! Between your metal and your mouth, you'll wake her for sure, and then she'll be cranky and won't want to work on us at all, or she'll just do something mean, like stick us in school or something."
"Aw, I'm sorry."
soft sigh
"No, I'm sorry, Al, I should have remembered that coming to this world always makes your joints stiffen. I wish I'd oiled them for you. Do you see anything around here that would do?"
"No, but that's okay, Ed. I'll be fine for awhile. Hey, didn't she say something once about having a brother near here who works with motor oil? Maybe he'd have something he'd let us use; I bet he's as cool as she is."
"Not a bad idea, brother, not bad at all. We'll try it later. Man, she does have some weird stuff in here!"
"Uh… Ed… should we maybe move her head off the keyboard? That can't be comfortable."
"Hmm, I don't know. Do you think her husband will mind if we move her?"
"Well… he loves her, right? He'd want her to be comfortable."
"Good point. She must fall asleep at the computer an awful lot, to keep bunk beds in here. Let me clear off the bottom…"
rustling
"Wow, I've never seen so many envelopes in my life! And she's drawn on every single one… it's like a sketch diary a la lick-n-stick. Oh, wow, remind me to get her to introduce me to this lady… Okay, there's enough room now; can you bring her over here? Careful, don't wake her!"
"I know, I know, I'm being careful… Wow, she's so little, she hardly weighs anything at all… There we go, all tucked in."
creak
"Ed, sit down there in her desk chair; you need to rest."
"Oh, yes, sir, sergeant, sir!"
soft groan
"Okay, so I admit that does feel better. Whoa, look at all the stuff she has over here by the computer! All these drawings… I don't think her fingers ever stop moving… Wow, here are some really good ones of Trunks, I'll have to tell him about them… and some poor kid with big hair and bigger feet, oh, that has to be alchemy gone wrong, that just can't be natural… something with a lot of black and white rectangles… um, dude, there's a whole stack of drawings of potatoes buried in here, is that normal for people in this world to draw food wearing pajamas?"
"Uh… I don't know, Ed. What's that thing over there behind the speaker?"
"Where? What thi-- Oh, this? It's… a jar of peanut butter. Which is funny, 'cause I didn't know peanuts had butter. But, okay. Hmm… Actually kind of smells good. I wonder what-- Oh, I remember, this is what Jess was talking about! Classy loves this stuff--she lives off of it! Wonder if I should try some… Oh, don't give me that look I know you want to give me, Al; I won't take her food. What have you got over there?"
"I don't kn-- Eww! Olives, a whole jar of them! I may be out of the food loop, but I've never understood how anyone could eat these things. They're gross!"
wary pause
"Uh, Ed?"
"Yeah, Al?"
"You… you don't suppose she eats them… together, do you?"
"I don't know… but it sure would be an interesting experiment…"
"E-e-e-ed! That's gross!"
"Congratulations, Al, only you and Winry could turn a two-letter name into four syllables. Al, what's wrong? I know that silence--something's up. What is it?"
"Uh, Ed… Something keeps brushing up against the backs of my legs."
"Lemme see… Oh, yeah, that's the cat. Heh, I think she likes you, Al. Well, either that, or she's drunk. I don't know, the way she keeps weaving…"
"Oh, ha ha. You think you're funny, Ed, but trust me, you're not. Can you, you know, distract her, do something, make her stop? She's making me nervous."
"Ya know, for a guy with no nervous system, you sure got a lotta nerve."
thwup
"Al… dude… you just beaned me with a kitty chew toy. Should I take this as a cry for help or a request for a steel wool noogie?"
"Brother, once we get you put back together again, remind me to dismember you."
"Yeah, I'll do that. Hey, do you think she'd mind if we took a little… souvenir?"
"What do you mean, a souvenir? We can't just take something--she's our author, and besides, that wouldn't be very nice."
"Aw, come on, Al, where's your sense of adventure? Besides, we're her current thing, we give her hours of pleasure, she knows us so well, shouldn't we have something of her in return?"
"Wellllllll… I guess it would sort of satisfy the law of equivalent exchange, wouldn't it?"
"Yeah, that's the spirit! So, look around, which one do you want?"
"But… but they're all so good. It's hard to pick."
"Yeah, tell me about it; if you can't choose, just play eenie meenie meine mo…"
rustling
"Okay, little brother, I've got mine, I'm taking this picture of Di. What about you?"
"Hmmm, I don't know, Ed, there are so many. But… I think…"
"Got one?"
"Mmhmm. I'm ready; let's go now before we slip up and wake her."
"Okay--hey, Al?"
"Yeah, Ed?"
interdimensional portal opening
"Which one did you pick?"
"Just one I like."
"No, but which one?"
silence
"Oh, come on, brother, I told you about mine. Here, I'll even show it to you. See?"
"That's nice, Ed."
"But--"
"No, Ed, I'm not going to tell you."
"But I'm your brother, Al! I take care of you, I talk to you, I l…l…love you, even!"
"And I love you, too, Ed."
silence
"And that doesn't count for anything?"
"It counts for a lot, Ed."
silence
"Al?"
"No, Ed."
"But…"
silence
"Which--"
"Forget it, Ed."
silence
"You're really not gonna tell me, are you?"
"No, Ed."
silence
"But--"
"Drop it, Ed."
"I thought being all mysterious and tight-lipped was my job."
silence
"You're really not--"
"No, Ed."
"I'll give you… a free lube and tune."
"Ha. Ha. Ha."
"Oh, come on, it was the best I could do! I'll… I'll… When I get your body back, I'll
give you better hair. How's that?"
silence
"Al…"
"Sorry, Ed."
silence
"You're a real brat, you know that?"
silence
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