Disclaimer: I don't own the phone company, or X-Men Evolution.
Will You PLEASE Hang up?
The phone rang at the Xavier institute. "I got it!" Evan got the phone. "Hello?"
"Hey Loser!" A familiar voice quipped. "I hear you're staying. What's the matter? Forgot where your house is? Of course with your memory I'm not surprised."
"Pietro…" Evan growled.
"That's my name!" Pietro crowed. "Personally I prefer it if you called me "His Most Royal Highness, Prince Pietro King of Coolness!"
"What I'd really like to call you is -----------"Evan shouted.
Pietro winced. "My my Daniels! I see someone hasn't been hanging around his friend Mr. Dictionary lately."
"Well better than those loser friends of yours!" Evan snapped.
"Well at least my loser friends are more interesting than your loser friends. But that's not what I'm here to talk about."
"No usually you like to talk to hear your own voice!" Evan snapped. "What do you want Maximoff?"
"Well I'd like world peace," Pietro quipped. "A supermodel girlfriend and for you to spontaneously combust into flames. But since that's not gonna happen, I'll just settle for tormenting you! Yes I'll have to settle for the simple satisfaction of making your life miserable as you made mine."
"I'd have to be an idiot to give you anything!"
"Cool, give me five bucks."
"I'd rather give you a knuckle sandwich!"
"Oh that's original," Pietro rolled his eyes. "You should become a bone doctor, you have the head for it!"
"What's amazing is that your swelled head can hold such a puny brain!" Evan shouted. "You are a total zero Pietro, in fact I'd call you a minus one!"
"Very good Daniels," Pietro mocked. "You've finally learned how count negative numbers. Those extra tutoring sessions have finally paid off. I hear you might actually pass a class this year. Not that you had any class to begin with!"
"I've got…" Evan began.
"Dorkitis!" Pietro said.
"No I got…"
"A terminal case of Geekdom!"
"No I got…"
"Bad breath that would flatten Toad!"
"Will you let me finish?" Evan grunted in exasperation.
"No," Pietro said. "You're as interesting as an algebra problem. You're a bigger loser than Loser Larry, King of the Losers. I've seen scarecrows with more brains than you have. You're so dumb Blob could outsmart you! You're about as complex as a paper napkin. I looked up 'empty' in the dictionary and there was a picture of your head! Oh that's right. You don't know what a dictionary is do you? Let me tell you it's a fun little book that has all these interesting words that describe you. Words like, loser, moron, simpleton, dweeb, idiot, ignoramus, dunce, dunderhead, milksop, nancy-boy, lummox, bumpkin, buffoon, mongrel, cur, blunderbuss and smellfungus."
"That last one is not a word! You made it up!"
"Nope it means case buster. Actually that applies more to Summers. You're more of a poltroon. Which means chicken! Bawk!Bawk!"
Evan slammed the phone down. He was about to walk away when it rang again. "Hello?" He asked.
"Bawk! Bawk!" Pietro made chicken noises. "Just trying to talk to you in your native tongue! Bawk!"
"Oh you are so dead!" Evan shouted. "You hear me dead!" He slammed the phone down. He stormed into the library and saw a few of his teammates. "Hey, anybody know where I can find a dictionary around here?"