HEWWO. This is not a DUSK chapter.
GUN: *shoots me down*
Lucario: *uses Psychic and throws them to an uncharted island*
Thirty-year old Patton Drilovsky grinned to himself, sneaking back into the bedroom that he shared with his wife, Fanny Fulbright-Drilovsky. In his arms was a rubber snake, some tacks, and a jar of toenails.
He considered this payback, what he was doing. The week before Fanny had purposely switched his Army Navy underwear for Rainbow Monkey ones when he wasn't looking, added pepper to his coffee and switched around the places of all his scrapbooks for every person he was close to. She had also dyed his beanie pink, and tied into knots the wires of his laptop with the help of Hoagie Gilligan. Now, he was out for sweet revenge.
"Heh heh heh…" Fanny was out on a shopping spree with Rachel and the other ladies, so he was free to do as he wished. Panini was out with her mother – apparently today was a mother and daughter bonding day for all the previous KND operatives, and if they didn't have daughters, they brought along their reluctant sons – and Francis was probably with Cheren at Moonbase.
Patton opened Fanny's underwear drawer. He grinned while sliding the snake into a position that made it seem as if it was living in that drawer before closing it shut. He then went to the computer, and opened the computer's Word program before typing something. On the chair, he put the tacks.
What did he do with the jar of toenails? He took one of her older Rainbow Monkeys – for some reason Fanny never grew out of them – and made it hold the jar open before displaying it on a shelf for Fanny to see.
"This'll be good!" Patton snickered, sneaking out of the room only to bump into his son, Francis.
Francis yelped, waving his arms around. "I SWEAR ON NUMBUH ZERO I DIDN'T PUT SPIDERS IN PANINI'S DRESSER!"
"… Spiders?" Patton stared at his son. Except for the orange hair and freckles – inherited from his 'darling' mother – he was Patton's carbon copy, down to the hair style and the beanie – which was black instead of orange – and to the height. "Francis, just what did you do?"
Francis looked down. He was just nine years old, and Panini was eight. "I-I put fake s-spiders in Panini's dresser drawer… then I glued together all of her Barbie dolls by their hair…"
"Oh no…" Patton paled. It was no secret that Panini had inherited Fanny's explosive temper – hey, she was her carbon copy except for the fact that her hair was pitch black – and the fact that they picked the same day to prank the two would make for an explosive reaction. "You know what happens when Mommy gets angry, right, Francis?"
Francis paled as well. "Yes, Daddy…"
"And you know what happens when little Pansy's angry, right?" Patton said.
The young boy nodded. "Daddy… what do we do?"
"We've got at least one minute to get away from here. I saw them coming a block away." Patton calculated before the door swung open, revealing Fanny and Panini. The mother was looking pleased while the daughter looked sulky, wearing an Irish themed dress. "Oh, hey Fanny! Hey Panini! Francis and I were just about to go out!"
Fanny stared at her husband. He looked jumpy. "An' jus' where do ya think yer goin'?"
"We're gonna go beat Cheren and his dad at Space Zoids!" Francis babbled, tugging on his father's sleeve nervously. "C'mon daddy, let's go! Or else we'll lose the bet!"
Patton saluted to his wife and daughter before he and Francis zoomed towards the boy's SCAMPER, flying for Moonbase. Fanny and Panini stared upwards before shrugging and entering their rooms.
Then, the world exploded.
"EEEEEEEK! MY BARBIE DOLLS!"
"TOENAILS! DISGUSTING!"
"Daddy…" Francis asked quietly as his father maneuvered the SCAMPER to Moonbase.
Patton focused on the sky. "What is it, son?"
"Why is Mommy scary when she's mad? Why is Panini scary when she's mad?" Francis asked curiously.
Patton flinched as he heard Fanny and Panini screeching from a COOLBUS flying alongside them. "Because they're ladies, and ladies shouldn't be messed with. That's a lesson you should keep for your whole life."
"Then why did you marry Mommy?" Francis asked slyly.
The man looked at his son. "That, Francis, is another story."