I am no way associated with BioWare or EA. All of these lovely characters belong to them.
Stay With Me
"Remind me," Garrus Vakarian huffed as he and Jacob Taylor shuffled their cargo as they waited for the Normandy's decontamination procedure to finish. "to never, ever volunteer for a supply run again."
Jacob chuckled. "I hear that. Think I'd rather run through an entire Eclipse base with nothing but my biotics than go grocery shopping. "
Garrus sighed as the airlock finally hissed open and granted the duo entry. "Just be thankful that we're on the Citadel and not Omega – the food sucks there. Plus there's more variety here, and less chances of it being poisoned."
The lieutenant snorted in response. "There is that."
Supply runs were normally something Commander Alleigh Shepard preferred to take care of herself; purchasing food, medical supplies, or other run-of-the-mill errands that she didn't want to burden the rest of the crew with, claiming doing remedial odd jobs made her feel "normal."
Garrus could respect that. For as long as he'd known the woman, the council, the Alliance, hell the entire galaxy had put so much on her shoulders. Expecting so much more from her than they were willing to give in return. But she did it without complaint, without hesitation. He wasn't sure how she did it sometimes.
However, their last mission to Horizon earlier in the week had taken it's toll on Shepard, both physically and mentally. As if the last few weeks hadn't been hard enough on her as it was – waking up to find out you've lost two years of your life and that everyone you knew had moved on without you – running into Kaidan Alenko hadn't done much to help her.
Her reunion with Kaidan hadn't exactly been a pleasant one. Initially, he had taken her in his arms, but it hadn't lasted long before he started bombarding her with questions and accusations. Logically, Garrus could understand his distaste for Cerberus. He himself didn't trust them either. But he did trust Shepard. More than anyone else in the galaxy.
Kaidan apparently hadn't felt the same way. He had branded her a traitor to the Alliance, and also, to himself. Shepard had just stood there, taking the brunt of her verbal assault as if she deserved it, trying to reason with him whenever he would stop long enough for her to speak.
Garrus liked and respected Alenko, but the way he had treated Alleigh still made his blood boil. He was pretty sure that it had broken some inner part of her. It was as if the fire inside of her, that drive to move forward, had died out, and he wasn't sure how to help her. This was the main reason he had volunteered for the supply run with Jacob on the Citadel. Shepard hadn't come out right out and said it, but he knew she was afraid of running into Kaidan.
He couldn't think any less of her for it. Besides, he knew quite well what it was like to live with a broken heart – as humans liked to call it. He was just much better at hiding it than she was. He'd had more practice.
As the two entered the Normandy, they heard the telltale sound of Joker swiveling around in his chair to greet them. The turian half expected some wise-ass comment about he and Jacob sneaking off for a late night rendezvous, or something far more explicit. What came instead sent a wave of unease through him.
"Hey, Garrus. Got a minute?"
"Sure thing," he answered. "just give me a few minutes to take these down to the mess – "
"Go ahead," Jacob insisted, taking Garrus' burden and adding to his own. "I got this."
The turian raised a brow plate. "You're sure?"
He nodded. "Yeah. I'll just put these away and get some shut-eye." he yawned, shifting the packages more comfortably in his arms. "Been a hell of a few days."
Garrus nodded. "That it has. Thanks, Jacob."
Saying goodnight to them both, the human biotic headed towards the lift. Joker waited until he was sure he was gone before speaking again. His usual teasing and sarcastic tone was absent for once. "You may want to go check on the commander," he said, concern evident in his voice. "I don't think she's doing so hot."
Worry seized Garrus' gut. "Why? What happened?"
He sighed. "EDI says she received an email from Kaidan today. She started hitting Gardner's liquor stash a few hours ago."
The turian groaned. "Why didn't you stop her?"
Joker snorted. "What was I supposed to do? I'm not really in a position to tell my commanding officer what she can or cannot do. If you haven't noticed, I can't exactly afford to restrain her. I need my job. I could shake my finger at her and say 'Bad girl! No alcohol for you!' but I'm not exactly the dominating type. Not outside of the bedroom anyway. Besides, I could break something, and I need my phalanges in tact. I have a ship to fly."
"I get the picture." Garrus grumbled, wiping a tired hand over his face. "Way too much information with the whole bedroom dominance thing, by the way."
With a grin, Joker just shrugged in response. He was silent for a few moments before turning serious again.
"I just figured that out of anyone else, you'd be the one that could help her."
Garrus stared at him for a moment, incredulous. "What makes you think that I could do a better job than say, Miranda or Jacob? Or hell, Kelly's the on-board psychiatrist around here. She'd be the one to talk to about...personal issues."
The flight lieutenant gave him a piercing, knowing look. "You really think she fully trusts these Cerberus snobs? She doesn't go down to the crew deck to talk to them in the middle of the night. She goes to you, far more often than she comes to me. I'm her friend, sure, but we're the 'share-a-beer-at-the-end-of-the-day' type of friends. She doesn't share personal crap with me. She goes to you for that." he paused. "Besides, I would have thought you'd jump at the chance to get her all liquored up."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Garrus demanded, white-hot anger surging through him. "If you're implying that I would ever think about – "
Joker held up his hands in defense. "What? No! I didn't mean that! Christ, Garrus."
"Well, what did you mean, then?"
He gave him that same, eerily knowing look, a slight smile playing on his lips. "I'm not stupid, Vakarian. You might be able to fool the others, but I've spent a lot of time sitting on the sidelines, watching all kinds of people, all kinds of species. I've gotten pretty good at reading most of them. Just thought it might be easier for you to actually tell her how you felt, is all."
Garrus clicked his mandibles close to his face, embarrassed. Had he been that transparent?
"She needs someone who cares about her right now, Garrus. Someone she can trust to be there. Can't think of anyone else out there better for the job than you."
He sighed. "Know where she is?"
Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed EDI's holographic ball-shaped head suddenly appear next to Joker. "Commander Shepard is currently in the observation deck, Officer Vakarian."
"Thanks, EDI." he turned back to the pilot and gave him a nod. "You too, Joker."
"Yeah...just...help her. Please."
Nodding, Garrus nervously made his way to the lift, unsure of what to do or say to Shepard once he reached her. Hell, if Joker knew how he felt, did she? He had always thought he had done a good job keeping his emotions in check. Apparently, he had been wrong.
In the beginning, he thought what he felt was nothing more than simple hero worship. The entire galaxy had heard about her heroic exploits on Elysium – how she had taken out a whole platoon of batarian slavers pretty much on her own. He had felt honored when she had asked him aboard the Normandy to become part of her team. How could he refuse the great Commander Shepard? Not that he'd wanted to.
But the more often she came to speak to him, the more he looked forward to and came to depend on her company. Even then, he thought it was just a crush – one that a student might develop on their mentor. He'd never really considered humans to be attractive in general; nor had he ever considered having a relationship with someone outside of his own species.
Until he'd met her. Not that it had mattered, however. She already had both Kaidan and Liara lobbying for her affections. That love triangle didn't need to become a square. Of course, in the end Shepard had chosen the human male, and as long as she was happy, Garrus could live with that. Besides, he wasn't human. Not even close.
He wasn't sure what he would find when he reached the observation deck. Was Shepard going to be passed out on the floor? Curled up in a fetal position, crying and drinking her sorrows away? He wasn't sure which option he would have preferred.
What he found instead caused him to pause in the doorway. Shepard was sprawled out on one of the long couches, clad only in black N7 military issued sleep-wear; a tight, sleeveless tank top and a pair of black shorts that only reached just above midway on her thighs, making her long, sculptured legs appear to go on forever. Garrus suddenly felt pity for every male soldier in the Alliance that had to witness such temptation on a daily basis. He had a strong suspicion that cold showers were a must.
He swallowed hard. He had never seen her with her hair down before. The long, auburn locks that she normally kept atop her head in a practical bun was now splayed along the couch above her. Garrus had the strong urge to run his fingers through it.
Shepard's slender arm was pressed over her eyes, but her bright green orbs met his blue ones as she heard him enter. "Garrus," she gave him a weak smile. "you found my hiding spot."
Grinning at her slightly slurred speech, he walked around to the front of the couch, where he finally noticed the many empty alcohol bottles littering the floor and his smile fell. "The Normandy's big, but there's only so many hiding places. Process of elimination, and my stellar tracking skills, of course."
That earned him a genuine smile, and he felt something inside him flutter in response. "EDI?"
"Yeah."
Shifting her legs up, she motioned for him to join her. "Sit. Come have a drink with me."
Garrus hesitated only a brief second before joining her on the couch. He had to bite back a groan when she stretched out her long legs again and placed them directly into his lap. The turian suddenly regretted not wearing his armor for once. He cleared his throat, not knowing exactly what to do with his hands. He opted for resting his arms on the back of the couch, deliberately not touching her. "You okay?" he asked softly.
Alleigh snorted. "Oh yeah. I'm just peachy." Sitting up, not bothering to remove her legs from his person she reached down and grabbed for the Thessian vodka she had been nursing, taking a long drink from the bottle. She winced as the alcohol burned it's way down her throat and stared out into the endless dark void of space.
He watched her for a long moment. Her eyes were red and bloodshot. Whether or not it was from the alcohol or from crying – or both – he wasn't sure.
"Where did I go wrong, Garrus?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. "I thought we were doing the right thing. But what if Kaidan's right and Cerberus is just using us? I want to save these colonies but..." she gave a harsh, bitter laugh, and he decided that it was a sound that should never, ever come from her. Her laughter – the real one – had always been one of his favorite things about her, and he was saddened to realize it had been far too long since he had last heard that sound.
"Maybe it would have been better if they had never found my body. They couldn't have brought me back, then."
"Hey," Garrus interrupted sternly, taking the bottle from her fingers before she could take another sip. "Stop this. Don't let what Kaidan said get to you. You're doing everything right, Shepard. He's just too blind to see it."
Her emerald eyes searched his, glistening with unshed tears, before averting her gaze. "I've tried so hard, Garrus," she whispered, voice cracking with emotion. "No matter what I do, it never seems to be good enough."
Garrus placed his hands on either side of her face, forcing her to look at him. "Listen to me, Shepard. You need to stop this; this isn't you. You're stronger than this." He tried his damnedest to try to think of something, anything to say that might help her. "I may not like Cerberus, but they brought you back, and I'm thankful to them for that. But I'm not here for them."
She gazed at him as he brushed the tear the slowly slid down her cheek with the back of his finger. "Why are you here?"
"Two reasons; the second one is to stop these Collector attacks and save these human colonies." he said honestly.
Shepard furrowed her brow in confusion, causing a cute little pucker of skin to form between her eyebrows. It took everything within him not to smooth it away. "If that's your second reason, what the hell is the first?"
He reluctantly removed his hands from her face, moving them to her shoulders and giving them a gently squeeze. You, he wanted to say. I'm here because of you, but he couldn't force the words to leave his tongue. What he said instead was as equally true, however. "You're the only damn friend I have left in this screwed up galaxy, Shepard. I've told you before, I've got your back. Whatever you need."
She gave him a sad smile as he returned his arms back to the couch. Taking another drink, she turned her attention back to the window. "You know, I've never had a family. Always wanted one. The Reds...they were the closest thing I had for a long time. But they...used me. For all sorts of things. Sneaking in through air ducts when I was little so they could run in and rob the place." she paused, taking another sip and her eyes darkened, lost in a far away time. "they used me for my other...assets as I got older...just to stay under their protection."
Garrus felt a predatory growl start to rumble deep in his chest. Just the thought of someone hurting her, laying their filthy hands on her unwilling body, caused an uncontrollable rage to burn through him. He wanted names so that he could put a well placed bullet between their eyes.
Shepard smiled softly at his response. "That's when Anderson found me. Set me up with an apartment and a part time job until I was old enough to join the Alliance and head off to basic training."
"I knew there was a reason I always liked that man," he said, his anger faltering slightly at her fond smile. He definitely owed Anderson a beer, or twelve.
Tilting her head back, she downed the remnants of the alcohol, frowning when she realized she had emptied it, glaring at the offending bottle with disdain. "Now here I am, on a suicide mission for a terrorist organization, who brought me back from the dead. And now the only person I had left that cared about me is – "
That was it. Garrus couldn't bare to hear the rest of that sentence. He spun towards her, face full of fury and indignation. "Alenko is not the only damn person in this galaxy who cares about you, Shepard. Hell, if he cared as much about you as I do, he would be here in my place, on this couch instead of me. He would be willing to follow you through hell like I am. He wouldn't –"
Garrus hadn't even seen her move. Even in her inebriated state, she was quick. Just a few seconds ago, she had been staring at him, green eyes wide and full of tears. Now, she was on him, straddling his waist. Her small, warm fingers trailing down the scarred side of his face. Her lips – Spirits, her lips – were pressed against his mouth, her tongue tracing the outside of his mouth, demanding entrance.
His hands unconsciously found their way to her back, pulling her flush up against his chest. Her breath was warm against his mouth, he could taste the alcohol on her lips and tongue. It was better than he had ever dared to dream. He couldn't stop the soft, contented purr from leaving his throat.
Her fingers trailed their way to the back of his neck, kneading the soft skin around and between his plates. It was all he could do to not just lay her back onto the couch and have her right then and there. The soft whimpering sounds she was making as they kissed sent shockwaves straight to his lower body.
"I would have thought you would jump at the chance to get her all liquored up," Joker's teasing voice from earlier forced it's way into his head, causing his body to tense. What was he doing? He was no better than those bastards in the gang she used to belong to. She was intoxicated and here he was, taking advantage of her situation. Not only that, but she was fresh out of a fairly serious relationship, she was hurting.
As much as he wanted this – wanted her – he would not disrespect her that way. Not like this.
Reluctantly, he tore his mouth from hers, breathing heavily. "Shepard," he warned, trying to clear his mind of her soft lips and delicate fingers.
But, Spirits, how was he supposed to be a gentleman when she was trailing soft, feather light kisses at the corner of his mouth, slowly moving down to his neck. "Shepard," he tried again, placing his hands at her waist to try to gently push her away.
Finally, his tone seemed to finally register with her and she pulled back, her face flushed as she tried to catch her breath, green eyes searching his. Her face fell, reddening with embarrassment. "Oh," she whispered, averting her gaze. He had to bite back a ground as she shifted off of him. "you don't want me. I-I'm sorry, Garrus."
Shock and horror seized him, her words were like a slap to the face. He stared at her in disbelief. "What? Shepard, how can you possibly think that?"
She didn't answer, instead she stood, wavering slightly as she adjusted her clothes. "I should go." she started to head towards the door, but Garrus reached out and caught her arm, pulling her against him.
"Shepard," he whispered, pressing her forehead against hers. "you've got this all wrong. I want you. Badly." to emphasize this, he pulled her against him, letting her feel how much he wanted her. She gasped, and his mandibles flared in a grin. "I've always wanted you. But you're drunk, and you're hurting. I'm not going to take advantage of the situation. I care about you too much."
She stared up at him, her hands resting on his forearms and felt a smile spread across her lips. "Why, Garrus. I didn't know you had a fetish for humans."
His grin widened. "I don't. Just you."
Reaching up, Shepard placed her hand on the side of his face, and he let out that same content purr she had heard earlier as he nuzzled against her hand. "I'm not ready to sleep yet. Will you sit here with me for a while?"
He nodded eagerly as he brushed her hair off of forehead. Spirits, it was as soft as he'd imagined.
Together, they sat there for a while, her small body curled against his side as his fingers played in her long, silky hair. Eventually, he heard her breathing even out and he smiled.
Careful not to wake her, he lifted her into his arms and headed towards the door. He was thankful the mess hall would be empty as this late hour.
However, he couldn't be that lucky. Just as the lift opened, he met the startled brown eyes of Jack, who simply smirked as she raised an inquisitive eyebrow at him.
Garrus just shook his head, not daring to speak in fear of waking Shepard.
Snorting, Jack shrugged and headed towards the mess hall, thankfully not saying a word.
Breathing a sigh of relief, the turian pressed the button on the lift to take Shepard to her cabin. Thankfully, he managed to do so without actually waking her...until he gently deposited her onto the bed.
Her eyes fluttered open, slowly focusing on him and she smiled, sending a wave of warmth to his heart. "You're not leaving, are you?"
Kneeling on the floor next to her, he brushed the hair from her forehead and tucked it behind her ear. "You need your sleep. I have some work to do on the guns. If..." he paused, nervous. "if you're still interested in...us...when you wake up. We'll...talk."
He watched as her bottom lip poked out in a pout, and Spirits, if he didn't find the look incredibly sexy. "Please stay with me, at least until I fall asleep."
Garrus could deny this woman nothing. He shook his head, a pleased smile on his face as he scooted in behind her, draping his arm around her waist and nuzzling his face in the crook of her neck as he waited for her body to relax into sleep.
Her soft voice startled him from the darkness. "For what it's worth, Garrus, when I was talking about the only person who still cared about me, I was talking about you."
His breath caught in his throat and he snuggled closer to her warm body. For now, he wasn't going to worry about what the morning would bring. For the first time in the few years he had known her, loving her from a distance, he felt like his future was about to become a lot more brighter.
A/N: Ahh! My first Mass Effect one-shot! I'm tardy to the ME fandom. But for what it's worth, I do not hate Kaidan. I absolutely adore him. I was predestined to lvoe him thanks to Rapheal Sbarge. My Shepard stayed faithful to him through my first play through, but I ended up falling crazy in love with Garrus. He's just pure love and awesomeness.
I'd love to know what you guys think!
Fun Fact: Alleigh is my shih-tzu's name :)