Title: Suicidal Love: X-Men Version
Fandom: X-Men
Rating: T
Catagories: Romance/Poetry/Angst
Warnings: Character Suicide
Disclaimer: I do NOT own anything X-Men related. I DO own the poem though.

Dear Diary,
25 August 2007

I started thinking about you again,
And all the pain came rushing in.

It has been a month and I still can't believe it. He had dumped me! After everything we have been through, he just up and leaves me to go to Magneto. After he promised me he'd never leave me. I thought the pain would lessen with time, but it only seems to be getting worse.

So I started cutting my wrists again today,
Hoping that Death would come and carry me away.

Sure I had cut my wrists before I started dating St John (Pyro) Allderyce, but once we started dating it felt like nothing could ever hurt me again. I didn't feel like dying anymore. I had finally found something worth living for.

You told me you'd always be there,
But it was obvious to everyone but me you didn't care.

It was our one month anniversaire (AN: sp?), dancing under the stars. You had taken me by surprise when you leaned down and kissed me. Then whispered "I'll always be there for you, no matter what. I love you." I was so happy when I told my friends that you loved me. They told me to be careful, that you was just using me. I lost Kitty and Bobby that day. I lost them because I couldn't see the truth in their words.

My heart is breaking,
And all the cuts on my wrist, making them to start aching.

I can't belive this is what I've been reduced to. I had used the razor blade that I had long ago forgotten, for the first time today. The blood is gushing out of the cuts. There is drops of blood all over the my room. The pain is nearly unbearable.

I've had it, I'm done,
I hope for Death to come for me as I get the gun.

I can't stand the heartache anymore. I get the gun I keep hidden under my pillow. I guess if I was thinking clearly, I wouldn't have the nerve to kill myself either.

I'm tired of waiting for Death to come for me,
I shoot the gun one time, two times, three.

I'm so tired of sitting here waiting and hoping that he'll come back for me. Hoping that the last month was nothing but a horrible nightmare. I got the gun and checked to see if it had any bullets. There was only three and by God I was going to use each and every one of them. I shot my stomach first. Right were mine and Pyro's baby grew. The second bullet went into my chest, hoping to rid myself of the love I feel for him. The last bullet went into my head to stop the memories of the two of us together.

I feel my blood pour out ,
And from a distance I heard his shout.

The blood was pouring out of my wounds faster and faster as the seconds ticked by. I heard him enter the my room. I heard him shout my name "Marie." He was looking for me now of all the times. Now when I don't want his face to be the last thing I see before I die.

But it was too late,
Death has come for me and all I could feel was hate.

As the last bit of blood poured out of my body, I realized he was too late. He was always too late. I didn't love him anymore. No, the only emotion I could feel was hatred as I drifted off into eternal sleep.