Always a Woman
Bruce still wasn't entirely sure how he'd gotten here.
There had been some comment by Clark about "their" song, and Lois had rolled her eyes but leaned into the man's hold, blushing lightly. Followed by the question of what song Bruce and Selina considered a symbol of their relationship. His eyes must have revealed panic, because his beautiful friend and date laughed lightly and mockingly announced, "How very backwater town of you, Smallville." Still, Bruce had recognized the tightening of her shoulders and the fake smile the revealed disappointment.
Really, it was all Tim's fault. Or maybe Dick's. Tim was the one who had started patronizing the local karaoke bar (Where alcoholic beverages were only made available to those over the age of 19, but anyone 15 and up could get in.), and Dick had made some comment about it where Clark could hear. Then Clark mentioned how much Lois enjoyed karaoke nights (Mainly, no doubt, so she could heckle those who couldn't sing, such as Clark. The alien wasn't quite tone deaf, but it was a close call.) and suggested Bruce invite Selina along, and the next thing he knew the four of them were on a double date. At karaoke bar. Where he would be expected to sing.
And now it appeared Selina, pragmatic, don't-get-emotional-you-big-baby, ex-criminal cat thief Selina, had held out hopes that he would sing something for her.
He had officially entered Bizarro World.
Still, if Clark was looking for a fight over who could better woo their lady through song, Bruce was not going to back down. He did, after all, have a secret weapon. (He always had a secret weapon, because really it was idiotic not to have one waiting in the wings.)
Martha and Thomas Wayne had always loved music. Opera, in particular. So when their son had reached the ripe old age of five and it was discovered he enjoyed singing, a private vocal instructor was called in and paid exorbitant fees to mold Bruce's "young, untrained talent".
While the vocal lessons had ended following the death of his parents, the exercises the man had suggested continued. It would one day be of use to Batman to know perfectly well his own lung capacity, and what decibel of sound he could create using only his vocals.
Now, he was going to show them that, once again, Bruce Wayne (alias, The Batman) was not an individual at whom one should laugh.
Leaning closer, he whispered into her ear, "We may not have a song, but there's certainly one that I can hear when I think of you."
Eyebrows going up, she shot him a sly, incredulous look. "Oh? Do tell."
"I'll do better. I'll show you."
With that, he stepped to his feet and moved purposefully for the stage. Smiling about with disarming charm, he cued up the music and the familiar strains of Billy Joel filled the room.
"She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes. And she can ruin your faith with her casual lies. And she only reveals what she wants you to see. She hides like a child, but she's always a woman to me.
"She can lead you to love, she can take you or leave you. She can ask for the truth but she'll never believe you. And she'll take what you give her as long as it's free. Yeah, she steals like a thief, but she's always a woman to me.
"Ooh, she takes care of herself. She can wait if she wants, she's ahead of her time. Oooooh, and she never gives out, and she never gives in. She just changes her mind.
"And she'll promise you more than the Garden of Eden. And she'll carelessly cut you and laugh while you're bleeding. But she'll bring out the best and the worst you can be. Blame it all on yourself, 'cause she's always a woman to me.
"Oooh, she takes care of herself. She can wait if she wants, she's ahead of her time. Oooooh, and she never gives out, and she never gives in. She just changes her mind.
"She is frequently kind and she's suddenly cruel. But she can do as she pleases, she's nobody's fool. And she can't be convicted, she's earned her degree. And the most she will do is throw shadows at you, but she's always a woman to me."
Bowing to the applauding audience, Bruce flashed his media darling grin, shooting winks and waving out at the crowd. Then he sent a final smile, this one completely sincere, straight at the lovely ex-thief.
When he got back to the booth, he slid in, curling an arm around the woman's waist, and she nodded. "Not bad, Bruce."
Clark and Lois, on the other hand, remained, unmoving, across the booth, eyes wide and mouths hanging open.
That's right, Boy Scout. That's how you impress women. The smug thought was paired with a matching expression.
Then an elbow to his gut knocked the feeling out of him, and Selina covertly smirked. No matter how proud Bruce was to catch her, she would always be moreso. After all, she had tamed the Bat.
Which she proclaimed, loud and proud in song, as she got up next to belt out Bad Romance.