Reno In Tights
Dedicated to Sephirouch, my Number 1 fan, and all you others that..(sniff) LIKE MY WRITING!!!!!! WAAAAAAH……=p Hehe! Now, without further delay……..
One day, Reno, drunk and stupid, stumbled upon a building marked "Cheese Tights Inc." Reno, thinking it said "Cheese Fights Drink" went in. But when he got there, he was mistaken for Peter Parker, and was shoved into a pair of polka-dotted tights and shoved into a straightjacket then shipped to Cuba. When he got there, he was prodded using sausage and peppers and led to a building that smelled like farts. He then was shown to a stage, where he was to perform "Gone with the Break Wind". After the flunkout performance, Reno was forced to throw his suitcase into an oncoming train, then forced to strip down in a cryogenic freezing capsule. After he "chilled out", he was left with only his polka-dotted tights, a one-way ticket to Hell, fourth class, and some 4 year old booze he stole from a guy named Jimmy Bob Burp. Anyway, so Reno took the train to Hell, and therefore ended up in Arizona. He somehow caught a plane back to the FF7 world, but he must always wear his tights. These are the documented files of Reno in tights.
(Reno was walking down the streets of Midgar to Shinra HQ)
Reno: Hum dee, hum dum!
(so, Reno walks into Shinra HQ)
Tseng: Surprise, Reno! We have a television cr-cr-creeeeeeeew!!!!!!!!!!! EEK! Reno! What's with your OUTFIT?!?!?!?
Reno: This is the only thing I had, OKAY???? Aw shit, am I on TV???? Oh geez!
Rude: Nice CLOTHES!!!!!! *pfft* NO EXCUSE ME FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!
Reno: *blushing* &^^&^ idiot! *runs into an alley near Shinra HQ*
*he sees a cat*
Cat: Listen, mister! I am…….FARTING CAT!!!!!!
*cat starts tootin'*
Farting Cat: *pffft* NO EXCUSE ME FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!
Reno: AAAAAAAAAH! *Reno runs out*
*meets up with Cloud near Wall Market*
Cloud: MWAHAHAHAHAHA! You look like Mr. Ed on his debut! BWAHAHA-erk!!!!!!
*Reno constricts Cloud, then walks away*
Cloud: air……gasp…………….
*Reno then meets…..DON CORNEO!*
Don Corneo: OOO! A cutie-pie! COME TO PAPA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reno: NOOOOOOOO! *runs away at high speed doing that weird "lift your legs high run" running technique. He also blew a fart, which made Corneo fall back a little*
*He runs into a portal marked into Fart Land*
*Reno appears in Fart Land and everything starts tootin'*
Reno: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*And Reno forever spends his life in Fart Land. He learned to toot with the best of 'em.*
THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!