A/N: Ok, this is probably going to be a long authors note... :P Quite a bit to say for once. Well let me start by saying, welcome to my very second Phantom of the Opera story! It is a modern story and a bit different...
Ok, well this story is kind of soap operish... without the whole town sleeping with everyone and the dead people suddenly coming back ;) But it does have a bit of melodrama that could possibly define it as soap operish. So if you do not like that kind of story, then do not read it.
Tomorrow, Chapter 14 of my first story, 'When All is Said and Done', will be updated. If you're reading this, please go read and review that story as well. It would mean a lot to me!
This story has no concistency of updating as of so far... like it may not be every week like my first story. I'm not sure how often it'll be updated... but I can tell you, the more reviews it gets, the faster the chapters will come, and the longer they will be.
At the very end of this chapter, there is lyrics from a song. The song is called 'Any Other World', by Mika. I suggest you listen to it, it's a reall good song. I absolutely love how the children begin to sing at the end of the song. So please, go listen to it.
And to conclude my abnormally long authors note, 'like always, please read and review, that's all I ask of you!'
-EFH
xoxo
Chapter 1: Say Goodbye.
November 4, 2007.
55 Water Street, Manhattan, New York City.
"Christine, there's something I wish to ask you." Raoul said softly as his soft amber eyes glowed that dark starry night and landed on the youthful and beautiful face of Christine Devenpeck.
Raoul Gibson and Christine Devenpeck sat on the rooftop of 55 Water Street, a skyscraper in the bustling nighttime streets of Manhattan in New York City. They lay underneath the glowing stars in the dark stretch of blackness, only a moon, the stars and the city lights being their only source of light.
He looked around him, his eyes glowing in anticipation. This night, he determined, was to be special. Before him, lay a dozen, miniature lit red candles, a few petals off of red roses were daintily spread about the blanket that the two both sat atop of, and of course, there were the stars. The stars completed the mood tremendously. He knew that what he was about to do, was the right decision. It had been on his mind as of late…
He was most certain that she would be as thrilled as he would.
Christine and Raoul had met as kids; their meeting quite different from most people. She had been playing in the sandbox at the tender age of six down the street from her and her father's apartment one afternoon, when a bunch of older boys came over and demanded that she 'scram'. She of course, said no and the bullies began to pick on her and pull on her hair and push her around. That was when Raoul came over to her defense... and for her whole life; he had been her night in shining armor. She would think no less of him.
xoxo
20 Years ago. October 21, 1987.
Local Park.
Young Christine sat in the sandbox with a shovel in one hand and a toy castle shaper in the other. She bit her tongue in concentration as she was busy building herself a toy castle in the local park sandbox just down the street from her apartment where her and her father lived. She had just moved from Alberta and was now living in the bustling streets of Manhattan, New York City. She was slowly growing acquainted with her surroundings… being so used to the country side, Alberta offered.
She saw a bunch of teenage boys -about thirteen at most- heading in her direction, but ignored them as she kept her attention on the miniature castle.
She smiled as she stuck a miniature flag in one of the towers. "The princess can live here." She smiled.
Her world consisted of princesses, dragons, towers and of course, prince charming. She always used to daydream about being rescued by her prince one day. And her father always said that one day the right prince would come along… and she would just know he was the right one. She couldn't wait for that day. She'd lock herself up in a tower for years if she knew that he was going to come.
She gasped suddenly as one of the boys kicked the part of the sand castle she had just built, over. Another boy went around her and began to pull her curly pigtails, causing her to sniffle and cry in protest.
"You're such a crybaby, crying over a stupid sand castle!" they all laughed and taunted. One even picked up a handful of sand and threw it at her, smacking her in the mouth. She could taste the tiny grains of sand.
"Give us the sandbox you loser!" one of them demanded. "Go home to your daddy!"
Christine, still crying, shook her head and refused to move, so one of the boys kicked her in the side, causing her to cry harder. But she ignored the pain and continued to sit in the sandbox stubbornly. Her father had always told her to stand up for what she wanted or believed in. She would do him proud.
"I said leave!" the boy growled.
"Leave her alone!" Raoul yelled at them, coming over and shoving the boy who had dared to kick her. The boy fell and landed with a thud, on his bum.
One of the boys turned and faced him and demanded, "What are you going to do? Tell your mommy? I bet she'll surely come running!" the boy pretended to get scared. "I'm so scared!" he laughed at the look of complete anger that landed on Raoul's perfect face.
Raoul punched the boy in the face who dared mock him and his sick mother. He didn't even give it a second thought.
"I said leave her alone!" he yelled at the boy who fell to the ground. He then kicked the boy in the side and made sure the boy felt his pain.
"You're such a loser, sticking up for some dumb girl!" one of them shouted.
"A complete loon! He will end up with the same fate as his mother; in asanitarium1."
Raoul turned and showed him his fist.
"Let's get out of here, this guy is messed in the head!" one of them shouted before they all took off.
Raoul watched as they all fled, "That's right, you better run!" he yelled. He flexed his arm, proud of his feat.
He turned to Christine, whose tears had now dried up on her red and puffy face. "Are you ok?" he asked softly as he crouched down on one knee beside her.
His father had told him about the young girl who had moved into the apartment near by theirs. Her father had just recently come to work with his father at the processing factory2, and that's how he found out about the girl who had no mother. He knew how she felt, considering he had no mother himself. His mother was locked up in a sanitarium3 and had been for years now. Well as long he could remember…
Raoul was a depressed child through elementary school, till he met Christine that is. He felt so disconnected from the other children who had two parents there for them. The school councilor tried talking to him, but it was of no use. The kid had already built a brick wall around himself... and soon, around him and Christine. The draw gate wasn't opening for just anyone.
Christine nodded slowly while she wiped the tears from her face. She looked up at the young boy who couldn't be all that much older than her. For the first time since moving to this city, she gave a genuine smile.
"Don't worry; they'll never pick on you again. I'll always be around to make sure you're safe." Raoul promised the young girl, meaning every word at that moment.
"Pinky promise?" she asked, standing up and wiping the sand off of her pink corduroy overalls.
"Pinky promise and cross my heart and hope to die." Raoul and Christine linked their pinkies before he crossed his heart.
He looked around the park, making sure those boys weren't coming back. "Where's your father?" he asked.
Christine looked around as well. She smiled. "He's here... probably in the gardens smelling the flowers. He says it reminds him of mommy."
Raoul gave a dishearten sigh. A sigh that a boy his age, should have never had to give. He was so young… but already, the world had claimed him at such a young age, forcing him to mature and close his heart against the world.
"I'm Christine Devenpeck by the way." Christine smiled at the older boy, deciding she should acquaint herself.
"I'm Raoul Gibson. Would you like to build another sand castle with me, Christine?"
xoxo
And he kept the promise to that day. Whenever someone had called Christine a name, degraded her or done anything to make her feel sad or bad, Raoul was there, defending her and making her feel better. He was her band-aid against the word, as she would often refer to him as.
Christine's head turned and looked at Raoul. She was expecting to see a twinkle in his eyes, but his eyes were dark and serious... meaning he had something on his mind. After years of being with and around him, she could often tell his mood, even when he said nothing… and vice versa.
"Raoul, what is it?" she asked in a concerned manner.
"Christine," Raoul slowly pulled himself into a sitting position, to which Christine complied, "I love you more than anything. I… I want you to know that." he took her hands and folded them in his much larger ones.
He gently leaned forward, and placed a tender kiss on them.
"I love you too, you silly goose!" she laughed, pulling one of her hands away and slowly swatting him in the shoulder.
Raoul, who usually found it amusing how carefree she was, and how she made light of everything, felt sort of annoyed. For once in his life, he was trying to be serious, and he needed her to comply.
"No Christine, I really love you."
Christine took his hands into hers again and noticed they felt all sweaty. The last time she saw him this nervous, was after his father had passed away and his bills were starting to collect. Could he possibly be declaring bankruptcy again?
Raoul had never done so well when it came to wealth. From attempting to pay his bills, to keeping his mother in a decent clinic, it wasn't exactly easy for him. Christine had seen him struggle just to get a job that paid decently. She knew his options were limited. He had dropped out of high school in only grade eleven, needing a full time job to help him and his mother. But because of that, a lot of doors had closed for him.
Christine shook her head. Even if he was declaring bankruptcy again, she would find a way to help him out again. He was her boyfriend, best friend and savior. She owed him that much. But for some reason, she didn't think that was the case this time.
"What's wrong Raoul?" she demanded. She looked at him and began to freak. "Oh my God, you're not dying are you?" she panicked. "I should have known! The signs were all there! You're all sentimental... taking me on this rooftop and looking at the stars! Oh Raoul...! I'm so-"
"No Christine! I'm not dieing! Well at least not of any illness... I'm dying of love... for you!" he said quickly, cutting her off and watching her intensely to see her reaction.
Christine said nothing as she studied his eyes and words. She loved him too, but his words sounded different this time... they didn't have their light heartedness about them anymore. She sensed something more.
She waited.
"Christine," Christine looked up at Raoul, "Will you do the honor of becoming my wife?"
He felt the pressure in his stomach build up and cease at the exact moment.
Christine felt the world stop and time freeze as she gazed at Raoul who had now managed to produce a small, red velvet box, to which Christine took it with fumbled fingers and opened it up to see a small diamond on a plain band ring sitting there.
… She didn't know what to say. This was so unexpected. She and Raoul had been going great for awhile now, but she wasn't sure marriage was quite the next step for them yet.
At first she said nothing but she managed to ask, "How did you manage to afford this Raoul?" her eyes searched his, hoping not to see any sign of guilt from a crime.
"I bought it from the pawn shop down on Lexington Avenue. I know it's not much..." he scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment and avoided eye contact. "But it was beautiful, cheap and I well, you know, love you so much Christine. I just want to be with you."
A salty tear slid down as her eyes rounded and her heart clenched at his beautiful, but sentimental words. It was one of the most wonderful things anyone had ever done for her before...
"Christine, I know it's somewhat soon, but will you? I just want to spend my life with you! I've given it a lot of thought, and I know we can make it work! We can live in your apartment, it's much nicer and I don't have much stuff…"
"I -"
"I know it may seem out of nowhere... but I love you so much Christine Devenpeck! I want to marry you! I want to spend the rest of my life with you! I want kids with you! I want to grow old with you!" Raoul was saying everything that came to mind, ignoring the blank look on Christine's face.
Christine looked at Raoul's handsome young face and tried to say anything... but her tongue was extremely tongue tied at that moment. What did one say in her position?
"Christine, you'll just know that the person you love is right for you when you look into his eyes and see your love reflected there."
She looked into his eyes and tried to see what her father had told her. But try as she might, she just didn't see it. She knew for a fact that she loved him, but she just couldn't explain that the feeling just wasn't right.
"Christine?" he asked, feeling like a complete idiot at the moment.
He didn't know what he would do if she said no. He had built up this moment so much in his mind for months now, he had forgotten the word 'no'. Besides, he loved her! And she said she loved him...
"I... I like the ring." Christine wanted to slap herself silly for saying that.
"Oh." that was all Raoul needed to hear.
Perhaps 'no', was a possibility.
"Wait," Christine grabbed Raoul's arm, "I love you Raoul, but now just isn't a good time..."
"Why not Christine? We both love each other!" he demanded of her, looking her squarely in the eyes.
"That's just it Raoul," Raoul looked at Christine in surprise, "We love each other! You can't build a marriage on just love! We need money to do all of this!" she explained.
"We'll find a way Christine! I love you, and that's all that matters!" he argued back, not seeing why money should bring them down.
True, you need money to run a marriage... but there were always ways around it. Besides, he just wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, and for all he cared, the world, the bank and money could all go to Hell!
"We could elope!" he suggested. "Right now. We'll find a Church, Cathedral- whatever! Just so long as we marry4. It's not like we have family to worry about... just us. Well there is your Aunt Grace, but we'll call her and she can meet us at the Blessed Sacrament Church or Holy Cross Church. I don't know, pick a Church!" Raoul exclaimed, saying anything that came to mind.
"Elope? I… I love you too Raoul, but we're still young and we need to put our lives together before we can even consider getting married!" Christine argued. "You still need a lot of growing up to do! We need better careers, I need to finish university5, and isn't it rude to just marry without telling anyone?"
"Screw the world! If you want everyone to know, I'll stand up and scream it to everyone in Manhattan! I'll pay a jet plane owner to spell it out in the skies for Christ's sakes!" Raoul yelled, prepared to do anything.
Raoul felt that this was the right thing to do, and couldn't grasp why Christine didn't feel the same. Honestly, who cared about anyone else, it was just them! Just them!
"We can't." she stated finally, after a few moments. She had to make it clear to him.
"Christine!" Raoul called as Christine grabbed her book bag and her purse and got up and began to head towards the building's door in a fast manner. She needed out of there. She needed to go somewhere where she didn't feel pressured. She needed to think. I just can't do this…
"What?" she turned and faced him. "I just can't do this Raoul! Not now at least!"
"Where are you going?" he asked softly, holding back the tears that were threatening to claim him.
"Home." she retorted.
Raoul watched as she opened the building's door and slammed it behind her. The only sound he heard was the banging of the door slam.
He looked down at the ring, and clutched it in his hand, till it hurt and there was a bit of blood being drawn.
A single tear fell from his eye as he stood up and raced to the edge of the roof. He gazed at the streets below and could see lights and people walking up and down the streets. They knew nothing of pain.
A sob escaped from his mouth as he threw the diamond ring away from him as if he had been burned. He watched as it disappeared into the billowy night time skies.
xoxo
Christine walked home in utter misery. She felt guilt wash over her for saying no and just leaving like that, but she knew it was the right decision. Raoul still had to get his act together before the two could just marry like that. Love couldn't hold everything together... no matter how much they wanted it to.
As she walked down the night time streets of New York, she felt like everyone was watching her. As if they knew what had just happened on the rooftop of the skyscraper… like they could see right through her, down to the very core of her soul. She felt naked in front of everyone.
"Get a hold of yourself, Christine!" she muttered to herself. "Proposals are turned down everyday... nobody knows! You're just acting paranoid!" she groaned. "Oh God, now I'm talking to myself!"
Still, her thoughts were struck with the feeling that everyone knew everything about her; that there wasn't a place in the world where she could hide from everyone. When she looked into people's eyes, it was as if people were seeing through her very core and to her utmost horrible sins. The world was a place filled with dark and dreary lives.
Christine paused as she saw a young man with a mask on his face turning down an offer from someone not to far down the sidewalk. She was struck by the mask and wondered why he had to wear such an uncomfortable looking thing. But what she found most curious about him was... he seemed different from the world.
"Excuse me Miss," Christine's thoughts were interrupted as she looked at a fairly old man who had just come up to her, "Would you like to buy a rose for your special someone? I have a great deal on."
Christine said nothing and he took that as a yes as he showed her a booth filled with every color under the spectrum, of roses. Christine stared at them for a moment, her insides feeling numb as his words began to register in her mind.
"Miss?"
Christine let out a cry before running down the street.
xoxo
20 Pine Street, Manhattan Plaza.
Erik knocked on the door timidly, feeling sick with anticipation. He felt like any second now, his knees were going to buckle, or his heart would burst from being so nervous. He didn't think that a simple question could make one feel so nervous. Yet here he was, feeling like he was going to pass out or that the walls of the already small hallway, were suddenly going to close in on him.
"Erik, is that you?" a girl's voice called from the other side of the door.
"Uh yeah, it's me!" Erik called back, running his hand through his midnight black tendrils of hair in worry.
"Just give me a moment! I'll be out in a sec!" she called back, fumbling around on the other side of the locked door.
Erik took this moment, and biting his tongue, fixed the red rose in the pocket of his finely tailored coat and made sure his white mask was firmly in place. He then ran his hand through his hair to make sure it was in perfect condition for Monique.
Monique was his girlfriend of four years. They had begun dating back in college 6when Erik was a senior and Monique was a sophomore. They had run into each other in the cafeteria, spilling food all over each other. It had been quite the experience for reclusive Erik...
xoxo
5 years ago. February 2, 2002.
State University of New York7
Erik walked through the cafeteria -a tray with food on it- in hand. His eyes scanned the tables for any empty ones... but he was without luck. Every table in there occupied at least one person, much to his disgust. And he wouldn't dare sit at a table with someone else. He was what was called the 'loner' in college. His mask separated him from everyone else.
This was why he wasn't much of a Catholic, much to his mother's dismay. Although being brought up as a Catholic, -baptism, confirmation and all- his curse led him to believe there was no God at all.
Erik, to lost in searching for a table, didn't realize the pretty brunette walking towards him. At least not till he was suddenly toppling backwards and losing grip on his tray of food.
He contained his snide comment or his cry of pain as he landed hard on the paved flooring of the cafeteria.
The room that first filled with an awkward silence and cold stares, became the room of laughter and nasty comments directed at the masked man
He immediately struggled and tried to get up, needing out of the room.
"Oh my God, are you ok?" he heard a beautiful voice ask in concern.
Erik's eyes fluttered open and he noticed he was on the floor next to a beautiful girl with food all over him and her. He was immediately embarrassed and felt guilty for crashing into her and spilling food all over her.
He paused, waiting for her screams to join din when she saw his mask.
"Are you ok?" she asked again.
Erik felt his face in fear and sighed in relief when he felt the mask was still planted firmly on his face. He refused to go even one day without his mask... again, much to his mother's dismay.
"I'm so s -" Erik was cut off by one of the most beautiful sounds he had ever heard.
The pretty girl was laughing. And it was no ordinary mockery laughter. No... It was something beautiful! She was laughing at the incident, not him!
"Why are you laughing?" Erik asked in shock. He had just ruined her outfit and lunch, and here she was, laughing.
"I... I -" the girl couldn't get any words in without laughing even harder.
Erik sat there dumbfounded, waiting for the pretty girl to say something.
Finally her laughing ceased and she looked at Erik, smiling brightly. This left him more confused... what pretty girl would ever smile at him? The only smile he had ever received was from his mother... who did not count.
"I'm Monique Harris." she held out her hand to him.
He looked at her hand for a moment before taking it gently and shaking it. He was absolutely stunned when she offered him her hand. He would have thought she would be repulsed and just leave.
"I'm Erik Devereux."
"Well Erik, since we're both wearing each other's meals, how about I buy us a new lunch?" she laughed.
Erik was shocked. Was she asking him on a date? He had never been asked on a date before. But he was no idiot; he would obviously accept the pretty girl's offer. It would give him a dose of some social life.
"I'd like that." he smiled.
xoxo
Erik pulled out a black velvet box from his pocket and opened it up, gazing at the small diamond ring inside of it.8
His plan tonight, was to propose to Monique at dinner. He had already planned on the waiter putting the engagement ring in her glass of wine. He could picture her getting all excited and screaming yes and hugging him; a vision of perfection if you asked him. And after… well they would enjoy the pleasures of the bed for the very first time.
He had thought this through for quite some time now, and felt he was ready to commit. What would be nicer than being joined to the one you loved, for eternity?
Suddenly he heard the sound of the locks being undone and the door being opened, and quickly stuffed the velvet box back into his pocket before she noticed.
"There you are!" he exclaimed, covering up his nervousness.
Monique smiled, hugged him and asked, "How do I look?" she took his hand and used it to twirl her around, before embracing him once again.
"You look beautiful... as usual." he kissed her cheek.
"You always know just what to say." she giggled. "You look dashing yourself."
His eyes raked over her body, taking in everything. She was wearing a snug, black, cocktail, spaghetti dress that landed just above her knees. The dress was low cut, giving a nice view of the size of her breasts. She had black high heels on, making her look thin, tall and very elegant. But despite the high heels, she only reached Erik's chin. She wore a pair of strappy black stilettos. Her hair was up in a bun, a few strands hanging loose, framing her soft delicate face.
Erik never liked buns, thinking them to not be very feminine... but Monique made them look beautiful. This was the only exception for buns, he thought as he glanced at her again.
"So where are we going my prince charming?" she smiled, looping her arm through his.
I'm no prince charming. "Somewhere special, my princess." he said gently, leaning in and kissing her mouth, before leading her away.
xoxo
Pastis Bistro.
Erik pulled the chair out for Monique as she sat down in it gingerly and smoothed out her dress, before he pushed her in. She smiled at the sweet gesture as he sat down across from her.
Erik had made sure that when he had the table reserved, that it was near the back of the restaurant where it was much darker and less people were around. He wanted it to be private and special. Not to mention the fact that he couldn't stand people.
His eyes scanned the small table, making sure they had done their job. He was paying big bucks for perfection. He was impressed by the site that greeted them; a white satin cloth rested atop of the black round table. In the center, sat a small vase with two red roses. And around them, were small scented candles that had already been lit.
He noticed the bucket that sat beside the table, filled with ice and a bottle of some expensive champagne.
Cost does not matter.
His gaze landed on Monique, and he smiled softly as he noticed that she seem to like the restaurant. He wanted everything to be perfect for his future bride.
"It's so beautiful." Monique smiled, picking up the rose and caressing its red petals gently.
Erik smiled at her, happy and relieved that she loved it.
"Thank you." she leaned inwards and caught Erik's mouth in a soft kiss.
While her hands rested on his shoulders, his hands went out and cupped her face, pulling him in closer. Well as close as you could get from across the table. He let out a moan, as her mouth opened, giving him entrance to her tongue. He instantly complied, deepening it further.
Monique felt everything around them become fuzzy while the two went into their own world. She had to say, she was happy the way things were turning out for them. The two had been dating for four years now, and everything was going great. Of course there were still obstacles the two would one day have to pass in the future… but she would rather not think of that now.
The two were interrupted as a waiter came over and made a slight coughing noise, making Monique and Erik break apart and look up sheepishly. "What would you two like to drink this fine evening?" he asked, taking out a notepad and a pen.
"White wine for both of us." Erik replied casually, wanting to talk to the man in private.
The waiter bent forward, picking up the bottle of champagne, and left. Erik watched him, feeling a bit edgy. There was still one more thing that needed to be said…
"White wine... that's very romantic." Monique said softly, looking him in the eye. "I love that." she leaned across the table once more, her face a breath away from his…
"I'll be right back; I have to use the restroom quickly." Erik said quickly, dodging the kiss and coming up with an excuse to leave the table.
"Alright, but be quick." she pouted as she pulled back and cocked her head at him as he stood.
Erik stood up and made a move to catch the waiter before he disappeared into the kitchen. Monique watched him for a few moments, before getting lost in her own thoughts.
A picture of his mask came to her mind. She had never said anything about it to him, not caring. She knew though, that if the two ever wanted to continue their lives together, they were going have to get past the mask. Marriage needed full trust on both sides.
All in good time. She thought sadly.
"Excuse me, waiter!" Erik called as he managed to maneuver himself around the many tables and people in the bustling night time restaurant.
The waiter managed to hear his calls and turned to face him. "Yes? I'm sorry, was there anything else you would like sir?" he politely asked, ignoring the mask on the man's face.
As long as he received one nice tip, he would willingly serve the devil for all he cared.
"Yes, I have another request." Erik said slowly as he produced the ring from his pocket. "I want you to place this ring," he held it up. "In the bottom of one of the wine glasses and give the glass to the young lady I'm dining with."
"Oh, of course." the waiter smiled, taking the ring from the masked man's hand. He was actually quite used to this.
"Just please, don't lose that ring." Erik growled softly, not meaning to sound harsh.
"Yes, of course sir." The waiter said, looking at Erik cautiously.
Erik nodded and made his way back victoriously and sat back down again across from Monique, who smiled at him, completely oblivious to what he had just done. "That didn't take you very long." she smiled as she took his hand across the table, and squeezed it.
"They have impeccably clean bathrooms here." Erik lied to her.
Monique laughed. "Leave it to you to point out a fact about the bathrooms on a romantic date." Erik felt himself go red, which only made Monique laugh even harder.
"Oh Erik, you're something else... which is why I love you so much." Monique caressed his bare cheek, which the mask did not touch.
"I love you too Monique... oh, and the waiter is here!" Erik pulled back from her touch and watched the waiter anxiously.
Monique looked up as the waiter set down Erik's glass of wine and winked at Erik before placing Monique's glass down in front of her. He then set the bottle down on the table. The waiter wanted to watch... but knew it was time to go. He quietly excused himself.
Erik took a sip of his glass, but watched as Monique raised her glass up.
She lifted it to her lips, before something caught the reflection of what light there was, and twinkled. "What is that?" Monique gasped.
"Why don't you look...?" Erik suggested.
Monique looked into his eyes and saw them twinkle, before taking and sticking one of her forks in the glass and pulling the ring out. She held it in the palm of her hand at first, not quite sure what to say, but shocked none the less.
"Erik is this... is this, what I think it is?" she gasped, looking up at him, her mouth agape.
Erik nodded and laughed at the shock on her face. He had been thinking this for a long time now and knew that this was right. He loved her and she loved him... what could possibly go wrong?
"Oh my..." she said slowly, placing her hand on her forehead in a calming manner.
"Well...?" Erik pushed a bit.
She looked up at him. "This is a big decision Erik... are... are you sure this is what we need right now?" she asked in shock.
This was the last thing Monique had been expecting from Erik. She knew that their relationship had been going well for quite awhile now... but she always thought Erik wasn't the commitment type… which is why she was so shocked when he proposed now. Although it did make her happy to know Erik was considering a real commitment and a future with her... which meant maybe they did have a future together.
She admitted that she loved him, but a few problems still stood in the way. Money was not one of them, but the mask most certainly was. She needed him to feel safe around her and trust her. After all, marriage was just another fancy word for bond and trust. Maybe if he could do that for her, marriage would just about be right.
"Of course, I love you Monique! The sooner we commit to each other, the sooner we can spend the rest of our lives together! Isn't that what you want?" he demanded of her.
Monique paused for a moment. She decided to ignore his question. "How come if you love me as you say you do, you never show me what's underneath your mask? I didn't want to have to ask you this Erik..."
Erik felt everything still and crack at the mention of his mask. He should have known that it would come down to this. But he couldn't blame her for wanting to see the man she was marrying. But it was still his cross to bear. And now he had to face the music.
"I love you so much Monique..." he trailed off, not knowing how to respond to the mask thing, and not wanting to blow up at her for asking him to do such a thing as taking his mask off.
"But not enough to show me what you look like." she whispered as her eyes began to fill with the wet liquid.
"This is just as hard for me as it is for you!" Erik whispered harshly.
The room suddenly felt hot and bright. He took his jacket off and wiped his arm across his brow, removing the sweat that was now building up. He knew that no one was actually watching, but it didn't feel that way at that moment.
"How so? I love you more than anything! If you can't even show me what you look like, how do you expect this marriage to work? If you actually tried, our love could endure anything!" she spit back.
"Love can't fix everything..." Erik whispered brokenly. "I am who I am."
"It can't it if you won't even give it a try!" she threw her hands up, feeling like she was arguing with a wall.
A tear slid and fell onto the table. Erik watched a wet circle form on the table cloth and had a great desire to go over to the violinist, -who was by the pianist- take it, and smash it. Pull the stings one string at a time... like his heart.
Twisted as I am, I still love her.
"Please don't push this Monique..." Erik begged, not wanting to make a spectacle.
"Erik, I love you but you obviously don't love me as much as you say you do. I don't think you even understand the meaning of love!" she whispered harshly back. "I want to love you... believe that. I truly do."
"I know more about love than you could possibly even begin to know! I've spent my whole life in rejection, not once receiving an ounce of compassion! I know what it feels like to have nothing, squat! I'm willing to give up everything I've ever known, just to be with you!" Erik growled.
"That's it though, Erik... I can't give you my full love unless you drop your final barrier." a tear fell down her cheek once again.
"Monique..." he pleaded.
"I'm sorry Erik, but I have to go. Our time is ill wasted fighting the inevitable." Monique whispered as she stood up from the table. She dropped the napkin from her lap on the table and turned to leave.
The waiter looked upon the scene with a heart of sorrow. The masked man looked like he had lost the world. He wondered though, if the rejection was because of the mask or because of something more.
Only time can heal one's wounds.
"Where are you going?" Erik asked, fear evident as day, in his voice. His eyes widened.
"Home, Erik. I'm going home." she muttered, not once looking in his eyes. She knew if she did, she would finally crack.
Erik watched her leave in devastation. This wasn't at all how he planned it to go. He should have known that his mask would undo all of it... that she would ask to see. She just didn't understand... once she saw, she would scream and flee like every other person in his life had. It was his cross to bear.
He was alone once more.
xoxo
Erik walked down the dismal streets of New York in utter misery. His life was in ruins and shambles. His only love turned him down and it was all because of the abominable mask that lay on his face and his curse that lay underneath.
He felt like everyone was staring at his face and silently mocking the fact that he was turned down by his girlfriend. Everyone seemed to know everything these days. There wasn't a spot in the world where you could just hide.
He paused on the street as he noticed a beautiful girl looking at him. But she didn't seem to be staring at him for his mask or mocking him for the rejection... it seemed she was as much in pain as he was. He wondered why such a beautiful girl could be suffering. She obviously wasn't lacking in looks and looked like any guy would throw himself at her just for a simple 'hi'.
"Excuse me, sir," Erik paused as an old man addressed him, "Would you like to buy a rose for that special someone? I have great deals on."
"No thank you." Erik said politely trying not to snap, as he immediately began walking away. He was almost half tempted to turn and yell at that man that his someone special wasn't so special. That in this lifetime, no one ever really received love... everyone was conniving and just used each other.
He continued, but stopped in front of a large, luminous Cathedral. He wasn't sure why, it's not like he was religious. But he felt something stir inside him as he saw candles flickering from inside the Cathedral. Was it guilt? Guilt for having not gone to Church enough after growing up or not believing in God? But his eyes were brought up to the large crucifix on top of the roof and his anger returned. If God was real, he was a cruel entity! How could he make him suffer this much?!
"Your time was ill wasted, creating me... if you're even real." he spat.
He continued on through the dark streets, not wanting to go back to his house quite yet... but he stopped in his tracks as he saw something shine from the ground. He immediately bent over and picked up a small diamond ring.
xoxo
Christine's Apartment. Room 47, floor 59
Christine slammed her apartment door closed and dropped her jacket on the ground, not caring.
"I hate life." she muttered dismally, giving into her tears.
She went over to the radio in the dark room and turned it on; hoping the sounds of melodies would wipe away her misery. A song came on immediately, only making Christine more miserable.
Say Goodbye to the world
you thought you lived in...
Take a bow,
Play the part
of a lonely, lonely heart...
Say goodbye to the world
you thought you lived in...
To the world you thought you lived in...
Christine cried harder as she flung herself on the couch and tried to block out the song's words.
I try to live alone...
But lonely is so lonely...
So human as I am,
I had to give up my defenses...
She pressed her hands to her ears in agony and began to scream. But her screams died down and she stared at the ceiling, positive she was just living a nightmare.
Say Goodbye to the world you thought you lived in.
xoxo
Erik's house.
Erik shut the front door behind him and picked the rose from the pocket of his coat and squeezed its life out of it.
"Misery is a part of me..." he muttered as he dropped the dead rose on the ground.
He went over to the stereo in the den and turned it on. The stereo was hardly ever used as he normally made his own music on the grand piano he had. But for some reason he just needed something different.
In any other world,
you could tell the difference...
And let it all unfurl
into broken remenance...
Cos its all in the hands
of a bitter, bitter man...
Say Goodbye to the world
you thought you lived in...
Take a bow,
play the part
of a lonely, lonely heart...
Say goodbye to the world
you thought you lived in...
To the world you thought you lived in...
Erik felt even worse as the words hit home. He was a lonely, lonely heart... and he always would be.
Say Goodbye to the world you thought you lived in.