Paper Wings
By Katia-chan
A/N: This is something I wrote for someone on LiveJournal, and I thought, since I've written next to nothing lately, that I would give it to everyone here as well.
Dedication: To Windswift, who's philosophizing is responsible for the fact that this got written at all.
Disclaimer: ha, if only it were true, but I don't own the series, and I don't own the little myth either.
Enjoy!
XXX
She sits in her room, complacent as yet another fever sweeps through her body. She has been sick for most of the day, and she is tired of it. She should have made Hatori stay with her, and he would have brought Shigure, and they could have kept her amused. It's only when they're gone that the fever really sets in. It seems to feed on her isolation.
'Would you like me to show you something? It may help you feel better.'
She reaches into the drawer of the table next to her and takes out the small brick of paper, selecting a piece from the top. Hatori has shown her how to fold it, how to make things. When he leaves her, he says, she can do this until he returns, and it will make the time pass without making her more ill.
Stroking a finger over the smooth paper she begins, fold, crease, unfold, and fold again. It is a soothing pattern, and she can feel her mind wander as she does it. For a moment she does not feel sick, the fever fades into the background. She can do this for hours, and she does, doing intricate folds, dozens of little white and gold birds fall from her fingertips, making a tiny flock around her.
She smiles over them, regal and proud of her little paper following. They are like her family, she has created them, and she will keep them with her, and
they cannot leave. She knows how to keep them here.
Wings and hearts of paper are too fragile to fly.
As she folds, a memory floats lazily into her head. It is something Hatori told her, when he had taken her hands in his to show her how to make the birds.
"Did you know these are magical?"
"They can't be, they're paper Hatori." A laugh as he shows her where to fold.
"But they are. They say that if you make a thousand of them, then there's a wish to be made."
She thinks about this conversation now, and her folding comes a little faster, the flock growing around her. A thousand. . . what would she wish for?
Sneaky little thoughts slip into her mind. A man's face, warm and gentle. She can almost see him, smell him, and the hands that cover hers are no longer Hatori's, they are his. She wonders vaguely if that would make mother happy. If it might. . . could things be different?
It's hard to shove the picture from her mind, but she does. She does not need either of them to be happy, it would be foolish to use a wish on them. She knows what she will do. She will wish for her juinishi to be like these birds. They will come to her and they will not leave. They will know that she made them, and that she will take care of them.
They are so fragile, just like these little creatures. They would be crushed if she was not there to protect them.
'But what happens if they can make a wish too?' The thought slips into her head, sly and terrifying.
She knows it can't happen, that it would never happen, but. . . what if they wished on her birds? What if they made a wish, and what if they wished to leave? Her stomach clenches with fear and rage as she imagines Yuki watching her make these, and then she sees his little hands folding paper too. He could make these too, he is always sick, what if he sees her creation and wants the same?
No, she shakes her head violently, her breathing fast and angry. He loves her; she has made sure of that. All of them do, they would never want to leave, never.
But then people like Isuzu come to mind, people like her and that monster Kyou. Angry and rebellious, always needing reminding. They would wish, they would leave.
There is a stinging pain in her palm as she jerks her hands away from the paper bird. She lifts her hand and examines it, a small thin line of blood wells from the tiny paper cut.
She slowly and gently sucks the bit of blood from her hand, afraid to bleed. She cannot stand to remember that she does, and she hates it even more that one of her pets caused it.
Picking up one of the little cranes she slowly begins to unfold it, very carefully flattening the paper. First one, then another, and then another. She keeps on until there is nothing left but a pile of slightly crinkled paper in her lap.
If it would mean losing them, if it would mean they could wish themselves away, she will give up her own wish, she will keep them here with her. She will make that sacrifice; take away their wish and hers, because she loves them.
And she never wants them to fly away.
XXX
A/N: Review? Please? Make me feel loved?
TTFN
Katia-chan