Hi Everyone!
Well, it's my first story. ! OMG! I'm so excited! So here's the summery (once again):
"As I look into his eyes, a thought swirls in mind. Could I really love again? And be the person far from the selfish, idiotic person I am now." A dark secret, Bella thinks she's the one to blame but is it really the truth? What will happen if the Teen Legend Edward goes out of his way to befriend this strange but unique girl Bella who's a part of a secret she herself doesn't know?
Disclaimer:How I wish I owned Twilight(and surely EDWARD) but it's just not possible *cries*. Oh God? Why didn't thee make Stephenie's fate mine? *cries again*...
Please let me know how you feel about it.
So, on with it...
PREFACE
I had never given much thought to love. Well who was I kidding? Of course there had been numerous times when I wondered how it would be if I truly ever fell in love. But frankly I was never one of those obsessed-with-the-idea-of-love girls. Sure, I had had my fair share fantasies, fantasies about falling in love, feeling loved, loving someone with the depth of my heart and then the happily ever after. But that's it, nothing more. I would like to believe that love in its purest form exists, but alas! I don't think it does.
Well, this would have been my answer if you would have asked me a couple of months ago. But now…
I'm damn sure it does exist as I peeked at him from under my eye lashes. Every part of my soul fully aware of his presence. My darkest secrets and my self-hatred forgotten for the first time since that day. My eyes bore into his scorching yet soft green ones. A million of emotions swirling in the sea of green. The most obvious ones being happiness, excitement, concern and….love? I wondered briefly if he too felt the same way about me as I sure as hell did for him.
For the first time after 'that' I felt that maybe I could love again and not be the most selfish person alive. I smiled and almost reflexively the corners of his lips turned up, revealing the crooked smile I had fallen for. He visually relaxed.
It's funny how life works, how time works, how emotions work, and most of all….how love works. There I sat thinking that I wouldn't ever be able to love someone without hurting that person. And here I am, thinking that maybe I should move on, embrace my selfish being (although I have already done it). And this time there wouldn't be any stupid mistakes or intentional ones, no more carelessness.
Finally start a new chapter in my life….maybe an all new story.
But my past isn't something that could be easily forgotten. The harm I conflicted on my dearest one can't be left behind.
I still remember that day, so vividly that sometimes I wonder if it's even possibly to remember something so vividly which took place months ago….
I hear it even now, her cry. I see it even now, her soft blue eyes open wide with fear. It hadn't been much days since she embraced the world but I think those days were enough for her to at least realize what fear was. I still blame myself for it. I often ask myself how cruel I am for being such a heartless person. Had I no regard for her safety, for her life? Was I such a heartless soul? Am I still that heartless soul? Would I be right if I allow myself to love again?
But now as I see him, I think it would be alright if I let myself love again. Maybe I could be a selfless person, far from being cruel and selfish person I am now.
Loved it? Hated it? Mid(love:hate) it? Let me know!
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