Author's notes: I have no excuse. Just a short bit of rubbish I wrote to mark my fiftieth story on this site. :D
"Oh, would you just get a move on?"
"In a minute, Madam, I need to get this precisely right."
"Ugh, I don't care! Just hurry up!"
"Please be patient, Lady Bambietta!"
"You're so boring!"
Bambietta picked up the tiny metal iron from the board on the floor and hurled it at the young Quincy soldier. The soldier winced as the Monopoly piece struck his upper-torso, leaving a grubby mark on his pristine white uniform.
"Ouch! That hurt, Lady Bambietta..."
"Oh, get over it," Bambietta said sagely, waving dismissively as the soldier took off his shirt and began inspecting the damage. "If you're not going to move on your turn, you really deserve everything you get. Who really cares about a bit of dust on your uniform?"
The soldier tossed his dirty shirt aside and stared at the floor. "I was really more worried about the possibility of a bruise..."
Bambietta scoffed. "You want to see a real bruise?" she demanded, before raising her skirt slightly and showing the soldier an enormous purple mark on her thigh. "That's from where I blew up the closest thing I could find when I heard about Lord Yhwach's new successor. It just so happened that the closest thing to me was the chair I was sitting on..."
"Well, it sounds like it was entirely your own fault, then," the soldier muttered sagely, earning himself a glare from the irate Bambietta.
"Just move," Bambietta ordered, plucking up the die from the board and thrusting it under the soldier's nose. The soldier took it, hurriedly shook it in his hand and let it go, and the pair watched it skitter over the brightly-coloured squares and land on a...
"Six," the soldier said, placidly, placing the iron back on the board where it had been previously and counting six squares. "Oh, good, I pass 'go'! That'll be £200, please, banker!"
Bambietta scowled as she reluctantly handed over a piece of paper, before snatching the die herself and shaking it so vigorously the zip on her top shifted down a couple of inches. Bambietta let go of the die and it flew across the board, landing in the soldier's lap.
"It's a four," the soldier announced, and Bambietta counted out four squares, eventually landing her little metal dog on a "chance" square.
"Pass me a card," Bambietta demanded, folding her arms haughtily. The soldier obliged, picking up a card from the pile and handing it over.
"Sorry, Lady Bambietta, but you've just been sent to gaol," he said, smiling apologetically as Bambietta's eyes grew wide and the corners of her mouth turned downwards.
"Ugh, whatever," she conceded, scowling heavily as she moved her piece to the gaol square.
The soldier took the die and began shaking it in his hand, pausing when he noticed Bambietta's hand sneaking away from the 'bank' with several new sheets of paper in it. "Hey, being the banker doesn't give you the privilege of being able to steal money, you know..."
Bambietta blinked. "Are you accusing me of theft?" she asked, dully.
"Quite honestly, Lady Bambietta, yes, I am."
Bambietta blinked again. "Goodbye, minion."
Bambietta moved swiftly, tugging a sword down from its position propped up at the edge of her bed and bringing it down on the soldier's head, cleanly slicing the ex-Vandenreich member vertically in half.
Staring blankly at the bloody mess in front of her, Bambietta sincerely hoped that one day she would find a Monopoly partner who would not question the validity of her tactics.