Survey
by: cutecrazyice

note: rated M.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

"I have a favor to ask you."

"What?"

"I want you to teach me a great sexual technique."

"…what?"

"You're the only one rational enough to help me out with this research."

"…what?"

"I said—"

"I know what you said – hold up. My mind's processing."

"Well, process faster. This is very important."

"I would say that's exaggerating, but just to make this all clear…teach you?"

"Yes, teach me – oh. I didn't mean teach teach. I meant theoretically."

"Oh. What for?"

"Some stupid survey shishou assigned to me. She's on a meeting in Suna, so she passed it on to me through Shizune. I'm supposed to write a report about it."

"…why me?"

"Because even though you're the laziest person I know in this whole town, you're still very smart and observant. And a wide reader."

"Your sensei is the prince of porn. Why not him?"

"He's too perverted. I have a feeling he'll enjoy this too much. You're more composed."

"Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence."

"No problem."

"Troublesome. Aren't you even embarrassed you're asking a guy about this?"

"Well, you're my guy friend. Friends are supposed to help each other, right?"

"…right."

"Anyway, I didn't ask you to enumerate the techniques. I already have a list, and all I want is for you to discuss it with me. You have some sources, I'm sure, because I know guys talk about this a lot. And imagine it 24/7."

"You certainly have a vague opinion of us."

"I can hear the sarcasm there."

"You think?"

"Well, okay, fine. Maybe not 24/7. But at least you talk about it once in a while. Maybe you can tell me all about that."

"You're asking me to gossip?"

"Well, you have the best influence, after all – your wonderful blonde teammate."

"Who is your best friend, as I recall. And she's a girl."

"Ino's that, of course – but she'll just end up gossiping about it to others, and that would just be humiliating. And like you said, she's a girl. It's different in a guy's point of view."

"…okay."

"Look, please? This is gonna be entirely professional. Like I said, just a survey. Just answer my questions and never mention this to anyone ever again. Okay?"

"…yare, yare. Fine."

"Great! Now, let me see through my list here…"

"You really made a list?"

"No, I did not make a list. Shishou made the survey, now concentrate. Let's see here…do you prefer a girl kiss you with tongue or without tongue?"

"First kiss?"

"Theoretically, yes."

"Well…without tongue. First kiss should be soft, slow, so I could just enjoy the feel of her lips in my mouth, so I could savor it, and feel her melt in my arms."

"…"

"What?"

"Oh, um, nothing. You just surprised me, that's all. I thought guys usually went for the tongue-down-her-throat stuff."

"Is this a personal opinion quiz or a survey?"

"Sorry. Just a thought. Anyway, what about touching? Would you like her to trace her fingers on the nape of your neck, or tangle through your hair while you're kissing her?"

"Both. She can start on the neck and then through the hair. And maybe the stomach and the chest. Her hands fluttering there would be nice."

"Have you ever been aroused by a tongue on your nipple?"

"…what?"

"It's in the list. Just answer my question."

"…well. Yes."

"Would you rather have her lapping up the nipple with unguarded enthusiasm, or swirling her tongue on it in slow, lazy strokes?"

"Both. Particularly when the tongue travels down."

"What do you mean – oh. Um. Okay. You mean down down—"

"The stomach."

"The what?"

"The stomach. Her mouth kissing me there would definitely turn me on."

"…okay. Okay. That's good. Let's see. What about her hands on your peni – private part? Would you like her to stroke it…um, slowly, or…pump it hard and fast?"

"Having trouble talking?"

"What? No! Just answer my question."

"Slow is good. Especially when she's looking me in the eyes while she's doing it."

"Er…okay. That's…nice. Now let me go back to the list…oh."

"What does it say?"

"It's…um."

"Just say it so I can answer."

"What about her mouth down…you know where. Do you—"

"I don't know where."

"I meant…down there. There. Do you prefer her lips closing in and sucking you hard, or lapping you up with her tongue, to taste every inch?"

"Your speech is improving."

"Whatever."

"You're also turning pink."

"Shut up and answer."

"I want it to start slow, as usual. Her lapping up every inch of me, until she comes to the tip where the moisture is, and she can go ahead and suck that. Or she could swallow me whole."

"…whole."

"Yes. Definitely. Her hands and mouth working together in rhythm would definitely be pleasurable."

"You said that as if you were reading a mission report. Very monotone."

"Well, it turns me on, but it's not the whole thing."

"Oh. What turns you on completely then?"

"It starts with a kiss first."

"Really? I thought guys – oh, never mind. As you sarcastically put in, I don't know enough about your species to judge. So, yeah, I won't judge."

"You certainly talk too much. Nervous?"

"…no. No. This is a piece of cake. Pfft. And you're out of topic. What comes after the kiss?"

"I'd love to undress her. Reveal her skin inch by inch, and trace my fingers on every inch that has been revealed. Then my mouth, and my tongue, so I could taste her."

"…"

"Do you want me to go on?"

"…um, yes. Go on."

"I'd love to put my mouth on her neck. To test the softness there, and feel her pulse racing. Then my hands would be busy caressing her breasts, weighing them in my palm, my thumb flickering over a nipple that has already stiffened. My fingers would pinch those nipples softly, waiting for her to make a sound…a whimper. A moan. When she does, my mouth would slowly go down there, to taste that puckered nipple. Sucking it, while my other hand rubs against the unoccupied one. Then…I'd go down to her feet."

"Her…feet?"

"Yes. I'd cruise my mouth through her ankles, up to her calves, my hands gliding over her smooth legs. My mouth would go up, to her thighs, feeling the softness and heat there…then up to her stomach."

"…her stomach."

"I'd make her stomach tremble using my mouth. And the moment it does, I would touch her where the heat is centered. I would rub it first, before slowly sliding in. My fingers would be inside her, testing her slickness. She'd be wet and hot, gripping my fingers like a vice."

"…oh."

"Then my mouth would replace my fingers, licking every inch until I hear her moaning my name, begging me not to stop. Begging me to go faster."

"Okay. That's nice. So, I guess that's…nice. Yeah. Nice. You're really good at this. Thank you—"

"I'm not done."

"You're not…done?"

"Far from it. Once she nearly reaches that peak, I'll turn her around and position myself behind her. Then I will place one hand on her stomach and whisper in her ear…are you ready?"

"…"

"And once she says yes, I would slowly sheath myself in, and thrust slow, very slow, until she moans for me to go fast. And I will do that, until she begs for me to go harder. I'd be bent over her, whispering words in her ear, my hands on her breast, on her nipples, on her stomach, on her hair…until she screams my name."

"…"

"And once the orgasm reaches us, and subsides, I will turn her around and kiss her slow and deep, and start it all over again. With her riding me this time."

"…"

"You okay, Sakura?"

Cheeks red, breathing a little bit uneven and legs clamped tight together in discomfort, Sakura tried to gather up her open notebook and pen, doing it too fast and fumbling in the process. The pen dropped to the floor, where Shikamaru picked it up and handed it back to her. Their fingers brushed.

She snatched the pen and her hand away, as if scalded.

"Of course I'm okay," she chirped, voice rising an octave before she could level it back to normal with a clear of her throat. "You've been a great help – in my research. Yes. In my research. So, um, you know…thanks. For answering the survey."

The so-called Nara genius quietly gazed at her, noticing that she was not meeting his eyes.

"So…" he murmured. "Are you ready?"

Her green eyes snapped up to his in awareness. "W—what?"

Casually, he gestured a hand towards her notebook. "With the research?"

The awareness turned to a mixture of relief, annoyance and disappointment.

"Yes, thanks," she said. She immediately stood up, placed her things in her bag in lightning speed, and made a move to bolt. "Gotta go."

"Hey, Sakura?"

She paused. Turned back to look at him. "Hmm?"

"You know what the greatest technique is for me?"

"…yes?"

He smiled slightly. Or maybe it was a smirk. "Perfect chakra control."

It registered, and had the pink-haired medic nin turning even redder than she already was, stammering a hasty goodbye and nearly stumbling as she practically fled from the room – his living room, to be exact. But not before he saw the quick flash of lust in her eyes.

Shaking his head, Shikamaru stared at his forgotten Shogi board, and wondered when she was going to come around. Or at least, realize that Ino had this all planned down to the dot. The little sneak. No wonder he saw Shizune and Ino suspiciously exchanging a little envelope yesterday, and looking at him with a predatory gleam in their eyes. Oh, well. At least Sakura's reaction was…nice.

This was so much better than asking her out on a date.

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a/n: *buries face in hands* My mind is in the green gutter. That is the only explanation for this.

I hope the conversation isn't too confusing. Enjoy reading! :)