Disclaimer: I don't own this show, nor do I want to.
AN: I do watch this show sometimes but usually because it's so bad and I find it funny. This is not meant to be offensive, merely satirical.
If people give me a positive response, I might post more.
I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant
Once there was a girl who didn't know if she had sex or not and three months later ended up pregnant, this girl was Amy Juergens. Amy walked the halls feeling as if the whole world was looking at her! Which is stupid because the whole world doesn't go to her school, and the world in fact does not revolve around Amy. As she passed him, walking with that girl Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend" started playing in her head.
She opened her locker as she saw an extremely tall boy with a dorky haircut walk pass her with his two Asian friends, because of course the two Asians have to be friends. Her two best friends, Madison and Lauren, came running down the hall to her. She didn't really know why she was friends with the two most annoyingly chatty people ever, but she was.
"We saw him!" said Madison excitedly to Amy as if she could read minds.
"Who?" Amy asked.
"Who? Who girl, Mark Melina, is who," Said her other friend Lauren. Amy looked at them with an expression which I'm sure was supposed to be exasperation but merely came off as confused.
"No I haven't, I've had other things on my mind," Amy said secretively.
"What is more important than Mark Melina?" asked one of her friends whose name currently has no importance. In fact her friends have no importance other than make it seem as if Amy actually has friends, and is not a complete loner. Because in all honestly Ricky wouldn't go near her if she was a complete social leper.
"I had sex!" Amy almost yelled anticlimactically. Her friends looked at her in brief shock before Lauren said "No you didn't." That's right Lauren, she didn't. She just wanted attention so she decided to say the first thing that popped into her mind. And considering the TV show this category is under, and the writer's are bad it's no wonder that whenever they need something to say they say "sex."
"Well, I don't know. I don't even know if I had sex or not. It happened so quick and then it was over," Amy said with her friend's faces eagerly hanging onto every word. Here's a tip, if you don't know you're having sex, you shouldn't be having sex Amy. But of course for the sake of the story no one will say that to her, nope we just continue on with her incessant rambling.
Meanwhile Ben with his Asian groupies was scoping the hallways.
"I want sex," he said with a determined look. His friend Alice rolled her eyes while his other friend Henry eagerly nodded in agreement. With a degrading glance he looked around for someone "easy."
"How about her that freshman?" pointed out Henry giddily at the thought of living vicariously through his friend Ben.
"Good choice, now I just have to get her into bed," exclaimed Ben as he watched Amy walk down the hall.
Amy suddenly walked into the bathroom to brush her hair and suddenly without warning was slow motion running, because it's more dramatic, towards a toilet. Her hands flew out as she supported herself against the stall and threw up.