Ok, a few big points.
One:
This has NO connection to the 'MORE-THAN-SHE-SEEMS' series. Completely unrelated piece. Also, I'm pretty sure this qualifies as a crack piece, but I'm not 100% on that.
Two:
This story does contain some Clint/Darcy. If that bothers you and you decide to read it, don't blame me.
Three:
At present, this is a single-shot story. I make no promises that it will stay that way. On occasion I may post more stuff related to this story. All of it will likely be under the same title to avoid confusion with my other one-shot stories.
Also, I am continuing with 'More-Than-She-Seems', but there will likely be several one-shots that come out before I post another chapter to Mischief Loves a Challenge. There are some issues I need to workout before I can continue with that story. Oh, and FYI, if there is anything majorly wrong with this piece (i.e. pieces appear to be missing, etc), please tell me. My laptop mouse is stupidly sensitive and tends to highlight things that then get deleted because I accidentally write over sentences or paragraphs.
Ok, that should cover everything. For those of you insane enough to read this: enjoy!
- Illusinia
This is bad.
The thought echoed through Darcy's mind repeatedly. In front of her, Loki stood frozen in action. Behind her, Jane was cowering against the door to the roof. Really, this was just a bad place to be.
Darcy's hands were still shaking hard, though now for an entirely different reason. Yes, it was still panic, but she was more afraid of what Loki would do when he was released from his impromptu prison. And the trouble she'd be in.
"Oh god!" exclaimed Darcy. "I am so sorry!"
Of course, she knew Loki couldn't hear her. He was frozen in time, unable to move. Still though, the need to apologize profusely was overwhelming.
The building itself shook as the Hulk suddenly came launching over the edge of the building, followed by Natasha, Steve, and Thor. None of them ever touched the ground, instead remaining frozen in mid air much like Loki.
"Damnit!" shouted Darcy, annoyed with herself for being so jumpy and with the Avengers who currently resembled a paused action scene in a movie for not having the mind to announce their arrival on the roof. "Really? You guys just had to come barreling up theside of the building with no warning whatsoever! Gods! When this chaos stops I am so-" The sensation of her cellphone vibrating in her pocket halted Darcy mid-rant. For a moment, she just blinked at the small device before sliding it out and answering the call. "Darcy Lewis here, what can I do you for?"
"Darcy, what is going on over there?" Clint sounded more than a little worried, not that Darcy could blame him. If she knew the archer (and she knew him quite well), he was probably perched on a roof somewhere nearby. The strange absence of Tony Stark could possibly be explained by the same means.
"Uh, yeah, I kinda have a problem over here Clint," admitted Darcy, her nerves coming back full force. It was one thing to freeze Loki, but an entirely different situation with the Avenger's frozen as well. So much for plausible deny-ability. "Is Tony with you?"
There was some scrambling on the line, then Tony's voice echoed over the connection. "Right here kid,
what the fuck is going on over there?"
"Its a long story," explained Darcy with a sign. "Look, can you ask Clint to shoot a few arrows over here? Just at the roof around the other Avenger's feet please. Not at Loki or anyone else up here. The man can't move so its not really fair play, even though he doesn't subscribe to that anyway."
"Uh, sure," muttered Tony. She could hear him and Clint conversing for a moment (well, Clint was shouting but really, that's just semantics) before Tony came back on the line. "Yeah, no go kid. We're coming over there."
"Wait!" shouted Darcy. "You've got to give me a minute to figure something out first, otherwise you might end up like the other Avengers and Loki," pausing, she glanced at Jane who didn't look to have moved in the last few minutes, "and possibly Jane. Not sure if she's in shock or actually stopped yet."
Tony snorted over the line. "Look, we'll just land near you. You're fine after all."
"That doesn't mean shit," sighed Darcy unhappily. "Look, I'm immune, that's pretty obvious, and I would be no matter what. But you guys aren't and if you come over here, you could end up frozen too."
More struggling came over the line and for a moment, Darcy thought Tony and Clint were under attack as well until Clint's voice came back across the line. "Darcy, I am not leaving you over there with a supervillian and the rest of the Avengers unmoving. I don't care if I'm not immune or whatever, you aren't staying over there alone."
"Look, just give me a second," insisted Darcy as she picked up a loose rock on the roof. Pulling back her arm, she chucked the stone at Thor and watched as it sped towards the god, only to stop as soon as it got three quarters of the way to him. "Damn, its a bubble. Alright, I am gonna need you guys' help. If you land next to or behind me, you should be ok."
"Right," muttered Clint. "We'll be there shortly. Just be careful until we get there."
Darcy chuckled a little. "I'm not that worried, not like anyone is going anywhere except maybe Jane. Maybe. She's either frozen or in shock. Whatever, I'll be here when you arrive."
A click signaled the end of the call and Darcy again found herself alone on the roof without being alone. In other words, everyone else was frozen and she was the only one capable of moving or talking. Possibly breathing. Thank god they're only frozen in time.
The whoosh of a set of rocket propellers alerted Darcy to Tony and Clint's arrival. Turning, she was ready to greet both but seeing Clint practically cradled in Tony's arms for the flight sent Darcy into peels of laughter. Clint didn't seem to notice as he jumped onto the roof before Tony could land and promptly swept Darcy up into his arms. Her own arms wrapped around him reassuringly, letting him know she was very much alive and unharmed even though he wouldn't believe the second part until they were safely back at the tower and locked in a room together. Then he could see for himself that she was ok.
"Geez, what the hell happened up here?" questioned Tony, blatantly ignoring the little scene between her and Clint. "It looks worse up close than it did from the top of the other building."
Darcy tried to pull away from Clint, but the man tightened his hold until she finally gave in and talked to Tony over his shoulder. "Yeah, well, lets just say that Loki kinda scared me and I reacted. Then the others did the same. Its reversible though!"
Tony's jaw almost hit the ground. "You did this? Seriously? How the fuck did you do that?"
"Like I said, it's a long story," sighed Darcy as Clint finally loosened his hold enough for her to lean back. He still wasn't letting go though. "I do need you guys' help though. We need to physically move Loki and I need to disarm at least Thor and Natasha. Its not really fair if they smack Loki around while he's frozen like that and I don't want to get into more trouble than I already am by actually allowing that to happen. Luckily, I can unfreeze them all at once I think, so there's less of a chance that someone will get hurt but everyone will be kinda discombobulated."
Tony and Clint exchanged concerned looks before Clint stepped back, though his hands remained on her upper arms. "You think?"
Darcy shrugged a little, one of her hands coming to rest on his chest. "Well, sorta. I know I can unfreeze them all at once, but I don't know if I can right now."
Another look exchange occurred, this time with Tony speaking up. "What do you mean you don't know if you can do it right now? If you can normally do it, its kinda a given that you can, you know, do it."
"Yeah, there is nothing normal about right now for me," explained Darcy. "Look, it doesn't matter. We need to move Loki and disarm Thor and Natasha temporarily. I'll disarm the Avenger's if you guys can move Loki. Pretty sure he's too heavy for me to move."
Tony cocked an eyebrow and leaned back slight. "And why should we move him? Serve him right if we let Thor just clobber him."
Darcy rolled her eyes. "Simple: I don't want to be grounded for the next millennium because a god got pounded into the ground due to my inadvertent interference."
Tony choked a little. "Next millennium? How the fuck is someone who isn't Thor or his deranged brother grounded for that long? No offense, but you'd kinda be dead."
"Yeah," muttered Darcy. "The explanation for that is kinda part of the 'long story' I keep mentioning. Look, just move Loki and I'll take care of the rest. Deal?"
Both of Tony's eyebrows rose. "You gonna take responsibility for letting a supervillian live?"
Darcy snorted. "Dude, as soon as I remember how I'm gonna reverse the time flow and keep this chaos from happening to begin with. Well, if I'm able to." She paused for a second, considering Tony's question. "Yeah, I'm taking full responsibility. But I'm not gonna lie and say I forced you guys into anything, got it?"
"Yes ma'am," joked Clint, apparently trying to ease some of the tension on the roof. It was a moment longer before he released her reluctantly and moved with Tony towards where Loki was hanging out frozen.
Out of the corner of her eye, she noted that Jane was apparently awake but not functioning. Eh, wasn't a surprise. People tended to get kinda freaked out about magic, even if it saved their mortal hides. Still, Darcy would definitely have to explain everything to Jane now. Damn.
With a sigh and enough determination to move a building, Darcy began going about the task of disarming the more volatile Avengers. Natasha was easy of course, all she had to do were slide a few knives out of the woman's hands and remove one or two from her person. There wasn't much she could do about Natasha's physical fighting prowess, but that was something that could be disarmed if necessary. Not that Darcy really thought Natasha could actually do much to Loki.
Finished with the redheaded Russian, Darcy focused her attention on Thor and silently cursed her luck. Really, who the hell was gonna be strong enough to pry his hammer from his hand? Well, ok, she probably would be if she weren't mortal. But she was mortal, which meant she needed to figure something else out.
After several minutes of poking and prodding, Darcy had all but given up until a though occurred to her: what do people usually do when something is stuck? Grease. That would work. Or, well, she could just...Glancing at Clint and Tony, she confirmed they were distracted with Loki and Jane was watching the two men wearily as they moved Loki to his new position near the back of the roof. Quickly, Darcy tapped the hammer Thor gripped and watched as it shrunk until it was no larger than a normal hammer and quickly slipped it out of the god's hand. She was just looping the hammer onto her wrist when Clint and Tony appeared near the edge of the bubble, apparently done with their part of the plan.
"Ok, Loki's been moved. Can we get this show on the road?" asked Tony impatiently as Clint brought one of his hands to rest on her lower back. Apparently, he wasn't going to stop touching her any time soon if it could be helped.
Darcy nodded and checked once again everyone's positions. "Yeah, we're good. Ok, Tony, grab Jane and stand near the door down. Clint, we're gonna want to do the same."
"Right," confirmed Clint as he lead her over to the door. Tony scooped up Jane, who had apparently recovered, because she smacked him and insisted on walking to the door herself, even though her legs weren't stable. She still ended up being half carried by Tony.
"Ok, everyone ready?" asked Darcy as she looked at the other three. All three looked back at her blankly. "Right, ok, give me a minute." Her eyes slid shut for a moment, brow furrowed, before she let out an 'aha!' and snapped her fingers.
Her eyes slid open again just as Thor slammed into the roof. Hard. With his bare fist. Natasha seemed as confused when she realized there was no knife in her hand. Or anywhere on her body. Hulk had also struck the roof rather hard and lost his balance, falling flat on his ass, while Steve straightened out of his fighting stance in pure confusion. On the other side of the roof, Loki blinked rapidly and shook his head, muttering a Norse curse of some kind.
Darcy grinned. "Sweet! It worked! Ok, now that everything has gone back to normal, Jane and I can totally get out of here and you guys can go back to your epic battle or whatever you call chasing a supervillian through the city."
She'd just turned to flee with Jane when Clint wrapped an arm around her waist and stopped her. Intimate contact in front of the other Avengers, that was bad. Especially given how much effort her and Clint had put into not being obvious. "Hang on. First, give Thor and Natasha back their weapons. Second, you still owe us an explanation for what the fuck just happened."
"Right, weapons," muttered Darcy as she spun sharply and headed towards Thor and Natasha. Quickly, she handed the knives back to Natasha, who looked more than a little confused about how she had been disarmed, and started to hand Thor back his hammer when she realized it was still small. "Oh shit, sorry Thor." Thor's horrified expression would have been hilarious, if Darcy weren't trying to escape as fast as she could at the moment. Clearing her throat, she handed the handle of the hammer back to Thor, then tapped the top of the hammer and watched it expand back to its original size and form. "There you go." Thor now resembled a fish as his mouth opened and closed repeatedly without the elegance of words to cover the hilarious sight.
"Ok, weapons back to their owners," confirmed Darcy as she turned to face Clint and Tony again. "Can I go now dad?" Clint cringed a little, as he always did when Darcy suggested he was old enough to be her father. Of course, she wouldn't stop dating him for anything but the way he nagged was kinda fatherly sometimes and she felt the need to remind him.
Clint was clearly uncomfortable with her statement, most likely because of the way Tony was stifling laughter behind him, but his face was resolute. "Explanation?"
Darcy rolled her eyes. "Can I give it later? The middle of a battle kinda isn't the place for a story."
"Give us the abbreviated version then," suggested Tony. "Seriously, I want to know how you managed to freeze Loki and over half the Avengers."
"As do I," added Loki, who stepped forward but stopped at the threatening glare from Clint. "I promise, I mean no harm to your mortal girl. We can call a temporary truce on the matter if you would like. However, much as you are curious about the girl's magical origins, so am I. It is necessary for me to know who she is for my own safety as much as hers."
"How do you figure?" asked Darcy with a raised eyebrow. "Its not like you're gonna get in trouble if something happens to me."
Loki shrugged a little. "That depends. If you are merely a talented mortal then you are correct. However, if you are the child of a god or goddess or if you are the child of a powerful immortal house, well, I need not tell you exactly how bad hurting you, even inadvertently, could be for me."
She felt her left eye twitch a little when Loki mentioned houses and hoped no one had noticed. Glancing at the others however, and the way that both Thor and Loki looked very uneasy, she was guessing it hadn't slipped by anyone. "Uh, yeah, just don't worry about it Loki. Seriously. No one is gonna come after your ass if I get hurt or killed or something like that. Promise."
"Can you even die?" asked Tony curiously. "You said something earlier about being grounded for a millennium or something for this whole mess."
Mentally, Darcy was kicking Tony's ass to the moon and watching him suffocate. Damn playboy billionaire philanthropist. "Yeah, right now I can. Kinda. Its hard to explain. Look, who I am and all that? Doesn't matter. Promise. The only ones who would care if I died right now are my aunt and mother, maybe my grandmother, but it wouldn't change anything really. I can die, don't get me wrong, but its really complicated and even I'm not sure how it works exactly. All you guys have to know is that a woman in chain mail with a spear isn't gonna break down your door or anything crazy like that."
Another Norse curse fell from Loki's mouth even as Thor joined him in what was starting to look like a swearing contest. Both brothers looked pissed, and Clint looked more than a little uneasy. Really, everyone did. It took Darcy a minute to realize that part of that was because both Loki and Thor sounded more than a little scared.
"You are from the Morrigan's house then?" questioned Loki suddenly.
With a sigh, Darcy nodded and leaned back into Clint. "Look, its not a big dea-"
A sudden flash of light struck the middle of the roof, clearing as fast as it came. A man was standing there when the light cleared, looking worried. He looked about Darcy's age, with shining green eyes and jet black hair. His skin was exceptionally pale and his body was lithe in build. He had similar facial features to Darcy, with slightly smaller lips and higher cheek bones. The mix was handsome.
"Darcy, are you alright?" asked the man worriedly as he headed straight for her.
She nodded and hugged the new guy, moving away from Clint to do so. "Yeah Derek, I'm fine."
"Thank the gods," muttered Derek as he hugged her tighter. "When I felt the energy spike from your magic, well, I assumed the worst."
"No shit," muttered Darcy with an eye roll as she finally leaned back. "We kinda aren't supposed to use our magic on Earth."
"Wait," interrupted Steve slowly. "Magic? You were using magic?"
"You can use magic?" asked Thor in surprise.
Loki scoffed at his brothers question. "Clearly she can use magic Thor. She's from the Morrigan's house. Besides, how do you think she managed to freeze us in place? The question is, what magic did she use that was strong enough to stop me?"
"Time," the simultaneous response was automatic and apparently commonly needed. Everyone refocused on Darcy and Derek, both of whom were covering each others mouths with their hands. Their eyes were wide and horrified.
"Shit." Again the exclamation was simultaneous. "We didn't mean to say that!"
Everyone was just staring at the two like they'd grown extra heads, though with the way the day had been going that was a distinct possibility. As far as Darcy was concerned, anything was possible at this point, including the growth of additional craniums. Though, with Derek near by it was kind of like having another head.
Tony clicked his tongue slightly and started to chuckle. "So, twins?"
"Yes," sighed Darcy and Derek, again in tandem. They weren't bothered by their natural ability to speak the same exact sentences simultaneously. Hell, they used it to freak people out more often then not. All they were missing was the mental connection; they'd shut that down when Darcy started sexing Clint to avoid any uncomfortable event sharing (read: Derek yelled at Darcy one night because she was accidentally project her thoughts to him while having sex with Clint).
Clint looked a little uneasy. "You never told me you had a twin."
"We're not supposed to be twins," explained Derek. "We were born into two different families."
"Given," Darcy corrected. "We were given to two different families in the form of adoption. But according to records, we were adopted from opposite sides of the country and have no biological connection."
Derek nodded. "Which is completely false, but we went with it because the last time we were adopted by the same family, well, there were a few minor incidents..."
Darcy snorted. "Yes, because being chased by Crusaders through Jerusalem because we accidentally used our magic in self defense qualifies as minor."
"Eh, could have been worse," pointed out Derek. "They could have caught us."
"And then we would have been dead," sighed Darcy as she folded her arms just under her boobs and leaned against Thor easily. "Which would have sucked, I might add."
"Yeah, death by fire looks painful," confirmed Derek. "I'll pass, thanks."
"I'm sure it is," muttered Tony. "Look, if you two are done being amusing but kinda intimidating, mind actually telling us who you guys are?"
Darcy raised her eyebrow, giving Tony a look that clearly said he was loonier than a Loony Toon. "I'm Darcy and he's Derek. We've established this."
Clint cleared his throat slightly and lay a hand on Darcy's shoulder. His eyes were pleading when she met them. "That isn't what we meant Darce. Who are you really?"
"As in who's my mom?" asked Darcy, clearly confused. "Or what house I'm from?"
"For starters," confirmed Loki who was currently leaning casually against one of the many roof vents. Apparently he and Thor had decided knowing was better than fear and had calmed down significantly.
Darcy and Derek looked at each other before breaking out in conversation using a language no one recognized. Save apparently Thor and Loki who once again looked as if the ghost of their grandmother were scolding them. It was a few minutes before the twins seemed to come to an agreement and turned back to everyone gathered there. Eight curious faces stared back.
"Alright, we'll tell you some stuff," started Darcy.
Derek continued. "But we reserve the right to keep a few facts to ourselves."
"Our mom kinda won't tell us who our dad is," picked back up Darcy, "so we seriously don't know about that one."
"Not a clue," confirmed Derek. "Well..." He glanced at his sister who glanced back at him for a moment and shrugged, "except that dad is probably blue."
"With red eyes," added Darcy. "And the ability to control ice."
"Possibly green eyes that are only red sometimes and just magic in general," corrected Derek. "Mom can't do any magic except that related to time, remember?"
Darcy made a small sound of agreement, apparently remembering that little fact. "Right. Always forget that. Also, good point about the eye thing. Mom has blue eyes, so for you to have green it would have to be from Dad."
"The black hair too," added Derek. "You know, come to think of it, Dad is probably a completely different species from us."
"Yeah," agreed Darcy as she thought about it for a moment. "Don't know what species he'd be though."
Tony and Natasha were giving Darcy and Derek 'really?' looks while Thor was shooting a raised eyebrow at his brother, who was swaying slightly on his feet. Apparently Loki had made some connections of his own because his mouth began to open and close much like a fishes without the notice of either Darcy or Derek. Apparently the mystery of their parentage was more engrossing than one would think.
"Hey, here's an idea," suggested Tony with a hint of sarcasm tied in. "What about Frost Giant or whatever the fuck Loki is."
The statement struck something for both twins because they suddenly spun to look at Loki with heads cocked sideways. It was a moment before both uttered a 'ooooh, that explains so much' and shrugged. "Well, that's done."
Clint looked at them uneasily, deciding that the simultaneous talking thing was getting a little unnerving. Darcy seemed to realize this and walked over to him, dropping a hand to his arm and rubbing it gently. "Sorry Clint, we kinda talk like that automatically."
"Being twins for as long as we've been alive makes it hard to break old habits," confirmed Derek with a shrug. "Anyway, so you guys know who Dad is now, as do we, and you've already guessed the house we're from I'm assuming, if the way Thor was looking at Loki, er, Dad was an indication." He stopped suddenly, brow furrowed, before apparently coming to an uneasy realization. "Wait, does this mean that Thor's our Uncle?"
"Oh god," muttered Darcy. "And Odin is our grandfather. Shit."
"We are in so much trouble," agreed Derek. "Maybe they don't know it was us?"
Darcy buried her face in Clint's shoulder. "Or maybe we can just avoid them and never have to face that little fact."
Natasha traded glances with Tony for a moment before clearing her throat. "If I may interrupt, what have you two done that is so horrendous as to make having Odin for a grandfather bad?"
Derek sighed while Darcy buried her face further into Clint's shoulder. "We kinda, sorta, played a prank at the palace."
"One they've never figured out," added Darcy, voice muffled by Clint. One of his hands had come up to stroke her hair while the other was resting around her waist.
"See, there was this artifact called the Cube," started Derek. "It's supposed to contain unlimited power."
"The ultimate magical artifact," added Darcy.
Derek nodded. "Well, when Odin had it crafted, he was going to use it to power the bi-frost. Only it was too unstable and he decided to look it away out of fear that someone would get their hands on it."
"But we found it before he could," admitted Darcy. "And decided to hide it as a prank, because freaking out Odin sounded like fun."
"So we took it and brought it to Earth," explained Derek. "But human's found it somehow and we lost track of it."
"So the Cube being on Earth is completely our fault," continued Darcy. "And Odin is so going to kill us when he finds out."
Derek groaned. "And he will. And because we're apparently his grandchildren he'll have every right to punish us even though we did this years ago."
"We are so screwed," moaned Darcy as she turned her head to look at the others.
Everyone was blinking back at them clueless. Apparently no one was sure how to process what they'd said.
Surprisingly, Jane was the first to recover. "You two know about the Cube and its history." She didn't sound like she believed them, which Darcy completely understood. They'd basically given everyone a lot of information, intentionally and unintentionally, so some shock and disbelief were expected.
"Yeah," confirmed Darcy with a sigh. "Why?"
Both of Jane's eyebrow's shot up. "Well, for one thing the Cube is back at S.H.I.E.L.D. and I'm pretty sure they could use some help with it."
Darcy and Derek were on the feet in front of Jane instantly. "It is?"
Jane blinked but nodded, taking in the excited looks both twins wore. "Yeah, Erik's been working on it. By the way, you aren't supposed to know that..."
However, they had both stopped listening to Jane, apparently more excited about knowing where the Cube was. "Derek, we can return the Cube!"
"And hopefully get out of being punished for taking it to begin with!" shot back Derek excitedly. "We might actually get to meet grandpa instead of being beaten by him and exiled!"
"Sweet!" exclaimed Darcy happily. "So all we have to do is get the Cube away from S.H.I.E.L.D."
Clint furrowed his eyebrows and gently gripped Darcy's shoulder, spinning her to face him. "Darcy..."
She blinked up at him for a moment, noting the serious face and turning back to face him fully. "What's up Clint?"
Both of his hands came to rest on her shoulders before sliding down her arms to rest on her waist. "Darce, if you take the Cube, S.H.I.E.L.D. won't let you anywhere near a base again."
"Oh," muttered Darcy, seeming to grasp what he was saying quickly. "Shit, they wouldn't. Damnit Derek, we can't just take the Cube."
Derek sighed heavily, apparently understanding whatever was distressing his sister instantaneously. "Well, maybe we can bargain for it. The Cube isn't really that strong after all. I'm sure there's an artifact we have access to that could take the Cube's place."
"Maybe," agreed Darcy. "It'll have to be done under our real names though, not our mortal ones."
"Agreed," confirmed Derek with a sigh, one of his hands coming up to streak through his hair. "How about we discuss this later and see what we've compiled over time that might be considered valid for a trade?"
"Sounds good," agreed Darcy. "You gonna bolt?"
Derek nodded. "Yeah, I have court in," he glanced at his watch and cursed, "now. I'll call you later sister."
Darcy nodded and waved as Derek disappeared in another bright flash, leaving everyone except her feeling momentarily discombobulated. She'd seen him do that too many times for it to bother her. Hell, she'd traveled those paths too many times to become discombobulated by the sight. With a heavy sigh, Darcy spun around and looked up at Clint, who was still in shock from seeing Derek disappear. "Hey Clint, is your battle thingy over today? 'Cause I'd seriously like to get some skin time with you if it is."
Clint choked a little at her words but glanced at Thor, who was still standing beside his brother, and Loki who was continuing to imitate a fish. "I don't know. Hey Loki, you gonna make us keep chasing you today or are we done?"
Loki blinked twice and shook his head, though his voice was still dazed. "I am finished for the day, thank you. This encounter has given me a great deal to consider."
"Such as who you may have gotten with child within the Morrigan's house?" teased Thor. "Or perhaps how you have managed to avoid being maimed for all this time for the same transgression..."
"Hardly," muttered Loki. "I am fully aware of who bore the twins, er..."
"Rowena and Lopt,"offered Darcy with a smile. "Those are actually our names."
Loki nodded slowly. "Apt names for two such as yourself. One named for your Aunt and the other for your heritage?"
"For you," corrected Darcy with a grin. "Apparently, the Norse sometimes called you Lopt."
"Ah," murmured Loki uneasily. "I see. And you're mother is Kith'ka, correct?"
"Yep!" confirmed Darcy happily. "Though the whole house really raised us."
Thor nodded in understanding. "I recall Kith'ka or Rohan mentioning something about that. There was a quote about a village and children as well."
"'It takes a village to raise a child'," quoted Darcy with a nod. "Yeah, Aunt Rohan is fond of that saying. I think it validates her somehow or reminds her of her life before Grandmother changed her. She really loved pack life apparently."
Loki nodded. "Wolf packs are rather close-knit communities. I can understand the appeal for her."
Behind Darcy, Clint choked. "You're aunt is a wolf?"
"Aunt Rohan isn't a wolf any more," corrected Darcy with a sly grin. "She just used to be one. But that was 1600 years ago."
"Only 1600 years," muttered Clint, who sounded more than a little dazed.
Taking pity on the man, she brought one of her hands up to tilt down his head and dropped a kiss on his cheek. "Come on, the battle's over so lets go back to the mansion and relax."
Tony jumped on that one quick. "Sounds good. I think we all need a drink after today,Loki included. Its not every day you find out you've got two kids that you knew nothing about."
Darcy nodded thoughtfully. "It does explain why my mother always said Lopt and I had mischief in our blood though."
"So, drinks at the Manor? Who's in?" asked Tony, clearly excited about the idea. "That includes you Loki."
Loki blinked a little at Tony's words and shook his head. "Sorry Iron Man, perhaps another time. There is someone I must go see."
"Kith'ka," laughed Thor. "Be gentle with her brother, you did love her once."
"I still love her," admitted Loki. "Father's ban made it impossible for us to be together, but I will always love her."
Darcy smiled slightly and nodded. "Have fun dude, tell Mom I said hi, and try not to get me grounded."
"I agree to the first two," said Loki with a mischievous smirk as he moved towards the center of the building. "But I make no promises on the third. If Kith'ka sees fit to punish you, then you will have to live with it."
"Damn," laughed Darcy. "And here I thought you'd be the cool Dad that let his kids stay up late and covered for them when they'd been in trouble."
For a moment, Loki actually looked worried by her words but a quick hug from Darcy shattered any concerns he had. "Seriously Loki, I expect you to come back down here. I want the chance to actually get to know my father, not just work off impressions based on actions that I'm pretty sure have a majorly fucked up root."
"You have no idea," murmured Loki as he returned her hug. "But I do promise to visit and spend time with both you and Lopt. I want to come to know you two as well."
Darcy nodded and released Loki, moving back to stand with Clint who's arm immediately came to rest around her waist. "Later, Dad."
The grin which broke across Loki's face could have powered a small town and deeply disturbed the gathered Avengers. "Indeed. I will come visit upon my return. Also, Barton." Clint looked sharply at Loki, who's grin was still in place and contrasting sharply with the warning in his eyes. "Harm my daughter, and I will have your head on a platter." A slightly demented giggle came from Loki. "That was fun, far more entertaining than I thought." Clint just looked horrified. With one last grin and bow, Loki disappeared into thin air, leaving the Avengers, Jane, and a very uneasy Darcy in his wake.
Several minutes passed before anyone said anything. It ended up being Steve who broke the silence. "Tony, I believe you said something about a drink earlier?"
Tony nodded with a raised eyebrow and little half smirk. "Yep, I have a fully stocked bar at the Manor."
"Swell," sighed Steve. "After that fiasco, I need a drink."
"Agreed," muttered Natasha. "This is too much."
Beside her, the Hulk nodded slowly. "Very odd. Hulk more than a little confused."
"You and the rest of us," muttered Jane with a sigh. "Clint, Darcy, are you coming along?"
Clint just stood still, blinking in confusion. "I think I was just threatened by Loki."
Beside him, Darcy raised a disbelieving eyebrow. "Dude, you totally just got threatened. It couldn't be much clearer."
He continued as if Darcy hadn't spoken. "I just got threatened by Loki for dating his daughter...I'm dating the God of Mischief's daughter. Fuck."
"Uh, Clint?" asked Darcy nervously, tilting his head down so he was looking her dead in the eye. "You aren't, you know, second guessing all this right?"
He blinked a few more times and his vision cleared as her words sunk in. "Hardly. It'll take more than a threat from Loki to scare me away."
Darcy released the breath she had been holding and gave him a million-watt smile. "So we're good?"
Clint smirked and leaned down to touch his forehead with Darcy's. "When we get back to the Manor, I'm going to show you just how good we are."
Color flooded Darcy's cheeks but she hardly cared. She loved it when Clint did naughty, kinky stuff with her and his voice promised exactly that. "Dude, I am so going to hold you to that."
"As soon as we're done with the debriefings, I'm all yours."
It took a few hours and a lot of talking/ reassuring on Darcy's part that she wasn't a spy, double agent, or working on any nefarious take-over-the-world plot before Fury finally released her from the debriefing. His promises that their discussion wasn't over did little to squelch her mood, especially with Clint waiting outside the room for them to finish. Apparently the other Avengers were getting drunk off their asses, including Natasha.
As soon as she was out of the room, Clint swept her up and hurried back to their room where he proceeded to preform his injury check before making good on his earlier promise. Darcy was still trying to catch her breath five minutes later, while Clint lay beside her with one arm draped over her stomach. He was laying on his own stomach but his head was turned towards her. A smug grin rested on his face. "So, did I keep my promise?"
"Totally," confirmed Darcy with a grin, one of her hands coming up to stroke the hair out of his face. "Sorry about how weird today was by the way. Honestly, I didn't mean for any of you guys to ever find out about that shit."
Clint nodded slowly, turning on his side so he could tuck her against his chest. "Why? I mean, Thor and Loki run around flaunting their power, so why hide yours?"
She shrugged lightly and burrowed further into him. "It's just kinda standard operating procedure. Lopt and I have always avoided using our magic when in mortal form, mostly because if we're in mortal form its usually because we're dodging punishment."
"Punishment?" asked Clint worriedly. "You aren't in trouble, right?"
"Not this time," assured Darcy. "We've been hanging out on Earth trying to find the Cube for the better part of the last two centuries, ever since the Crusaders stole it from us during an attack. That's why we were in Jerusalem that one time. We've been trying to find the Cube so we can actually return it for years."
Clint nodded slowly, one of his arms tightening around her body. "Don't kill me for asking this, but how old are you?"
"1200 years, give or take a few decades," replied Darcy easily, a yawn escaping her throat. "And no offense taken. Its a valid question."
"Good to know," muttered Clint. "I do have one other question though: what do you look like in your non-mortal body?"
"The same," assured Darcy. "Well, mostly. I'm a little more in shape and rock a slightly smaller rack. Also, my eyes bleed red sometimes when I'm pissed. And I turned blue once. Otherwise though, I'm pretty much the same person but with a license to use magic and a twin who helps me get into trouble. Or drags me into trouble. Really, its happened both ways."
"Right," murmured Clint as one hand came to rest on her stomach. "Are you a goddess? Officially I mean. I know that I consider you a goddess."
Darcy chuckled and licked his collar bone, causing him to shiver. "Yeah, no, definitely not a goddess. My mom was transformed from a human into something that's still undefined and, even though my dad is a god, the most I could be is a demigoddess. Which I'm not."
"Well, technically you are," corrected Clint with a shutter before he rolled Darcy under him again. "Tease. You are a fucking tease."
"Yep," chirped Darcy with a smile. "Mostly when I want more lovin'. Which you're required to give me buddy."
Clint replied with his own chuckle and a twist of his hips against certain places that made Darcy want to keen. "Yes ma'am." Dropping his lips to her ear, he added: "Those are definitely orders I can get behind."
Ok, so, seriously this was a total piece of crack. I really don't know exactly how the hell this piece came around but it did, so I figured I'd post it. Really, don't ask where this came from. My brain is a black-hole of ideas and strange images. Hopefully everyone got a good laugh though.