The locker room looked a little more blurry than usual. She supposed that's what tears did to you, gave you blurred vision. But was it the tears gently rolling down her cheek, or was it something else? She wanted him- so badly, but she couldn't bear the thought of that something happening to her. She felt weak. She hated feeling weak. That last interrogation, it was too much. Thoughts were swarming throughout her brain- thoughts that she didn't think would bother her anymore. She tried to push them out of her mind again, but this time, it just didn't work. She had to get home, she needed to shower, she needed to sleep; she needed to just be alone.
Home was different that night. Every sound was haunting her, every shadow made her do a double take. Her dinner was plain and simple that night- Mac and Cheese, a childhood favorite. She turned on the news and sat on her couch and tried to watch the television. But all she saw was the images, she didn't hear the words. Why couldn't this just go away, why couldn't this just leave her alone? She turned the TV off and prepared herself for a long, cold shower. Turning the shower on, she stepped in letting the water run down her face and body as she felt her eyes swelling with tears again. Showers always seemed to calm her, but not tonight, tonight that shower made her feel exposed.
She put on her cami and plaid pajama pants before towel drying her wavy wet hair that night. She was too lazy to blow dry it. She climbed in to her bed, grabbing her latest reading material and opened it to her marked spot. Ever since high school she was a fan of those romance drama's, but instead of wanting to finish this one, she thought she should finish hers. Putting the book away, she turned out the lights, hoping to get a decent night of sleep. She fell asleep to the feeling of loneliness, being afraid, guiltiness, and sadness. And once again, those dreaded tears.