Disclaimer: Don't own Transformers

Sleepless Nights

Bluestreak woke up in the middle of the night, lying on his berth. Everything was so quiet. Nothing stirred… except for him.

Bluestreak sat up and hung his legs off the side of his berth. Venting a breath of cold air, he tried to relax.

His optics watered as he began to sob uncontrollably. Even after it being so long since that event had occurred, it seemed to be the same.

He was alone.

Everyone he loved and cared about had been killed that day and he wasn't able to stop it. Maybe if things had been different, they'd all still be alive. If he had acted differently, maybe they'd all still be alive.

He could always take the advice of others and delete those memory files. But that wouldn't make things better. It might make him forget that fatal event, but it wouldn't make his hometown just how it had once been. It wouldn't make anyone come back to life.

Why'd he have to be the only survivor? Why couldn't it have been someone else?

Bluestreak woke up in the morning, feeling stiff and tired. Dragging himself off of his berth, he slowly made his way to the door to start his day just like any other.

Cheerful and happy.

Yes, that was how today was going to be.

He may have been the only survivor, but it didn't mean that he was alone on the base.

Forgetting that he was tired from yet another poor night of recharge, he left his room and headed off to refuel.

Just the thought of being around others seemed to lift his spark and give him the energy and good mood that was so desired. Today would be a good day.

Bluestreak chatted merrily along as he worked and did the daily routine. Life was good and he felt good to be alive. Time seemed to fly by as he continued to talk to Smokescreen. Somehow he found himself talking to Prowl instead and that was just fine because he got to be around bots he knew and trusted.

Bluestreak frowned when Prowl had politely told him that he had to go meet Jazz and needed to go. It was ok. Prowl had plans and thus, it was best to stick to those plans. After all, if Prowl didn't, Jazz would be sad and miss Prowl.

As he walked down the hallway he wondered what it was that Prowl had planned with Jazz and when he'd end up running into Prowl again.

"Energon cookies are really amazing. What tastes even better are energon treats made in that little shop next to the big library back in Praxis. Primus, those are the best energon treats I've ever had in my entire life. You should really try them. I bet Prowl would agree with me. I wonder how they do it. You know, make them taste so much better than energon cookies. Iacon has the best energon cookies. Have you had those ones? The ones made by that grumpy old mech, the one who has the shop next to the quick femme who is the expert in growing crystals. I've heard that if you move one single scrap of metal in the collector's gallery in Kaon, it'll be moved back faster than an energon treat from Praxis is claimed by a sparkling."

"Will you SHUT UP!" The Autobot he had been talking to screeched.

Bluestreak slouched, optics watering. "If you really want me to. You could have said something sooner you know. If I was annoying you, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I just thought that you'd want the company since you were looking so lonely."

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to… You just wouldn't shut up."

"I'll leave you alone now." Fresh tears ran down his face as he turned around and walked away. It wasn't like he meant to be annoying to everyone else. He was just so happy being around others and wanted to make them happy as well.

"So that's where you've been hiding." Ratchet chuckled as he sat down next to Bluestreak.

"…"

"He's an afthead."

"No he's not. Aren't you supposed to be in the medbay in case if someone needs you?"

"No one's needed me all day and First Aid is in there right now anyway. Do you want to talk about it?" Ratchet got a bit more comfortable in his spot on the floor, leaning up against a wall.

"No matter what I do, I can't seem to do anything right. No one even likes me. I'm just a pest and you know it. He's not the only one to tell me to stop talking. He's one of many. And here I am, wasting your time with something that doesn't even concern you. Why do you even bother trying to find me? It's not like anyone cares about me, you included."

"Stop being such a glitch. We care about you and how you're doing. You're important to each and every bot on this base."

"Even if I talk too much?"

"Yes."

"Thanks Ratchet. It really means a lot to me."

Bluestreak slipped into recharge feeling content with how the day had gone. It was a good day after all. Even though there were times in which he felt like he should have killed as well, he felt good knowing that there were Cybertronians who cared about him. Those who thought that it was a good thing that he had survived.

It still didn't mean it was easy knowing that he was the only survivor. Living with that knowledge was something that he knew he'd have to deal with for the rest of his life and there was nothing that he could do that would change that.

Dying was apart of the cycle of life and it happens to even the best of us. There is nothing that can be done to stop that process. It's not exactly about where one ends up, but the journey that is made throughout life, the memories created, the friends made, the family loved. Death is essential just as life is.

To live, one must die.

To die, one must live.