The Sky, a naruto fanfic

The Sky

We stood in front of sensei, he looked down at us. "You are an amazing team!" He patted me and Naruto on the head, for us to calm down. I looked up to the sky, wondering what would happen next.

"Sensei…" I said in a low tone.

"Yes? What's wrong?" He said, as he looked at me.

Still staring at the sky I said, "What will happen now? Tsunande-sama said this was the last mission as a team… now that it's over, now what?"

"Well, I'll be Hokage soon!" Naruto said. He stuck his head up and stared at the sky, almost taking the same position as me.

"You'll, I mean we'll all be okay." Sensei replied with a smile.

"No, it won't." My tears started to well up.

"Sensei, may I talk to Sakura? Alone?" Naruto said walking over to me. Once he reached me, he touched me on the arm.

"Uh, sure…" He said with a swift move of his head… shifting between me and Naruto. He ran off.

"Now…" Naruto said. He begins to lie down on the ground. Once he did, he pointed to a piece of the ground next to him. He said "Lie down… let's talk."

I laid down next him. When I my head hit the ground it made a squishy sound. Naruto laughed. I lied there cold and feeling like everything would go back to the way they were… before I met my team. Naruto kept looking at the sky but I could tell, he knew and saw what was wrong with me. He held my hand.

"It's okay, tell me what's really wrong."

I started to cry, remembering the countless missions as team 7, the full team 7. Sasuke and all. I squeezed Naruto's hand. Not realizing I was hurting him.

"Ow…" He said.

"Sorry…" I loosened my grip. Seconds seemed like hours. Naruto soon got fed up of waiting for me to respond and guessed.

"Is it… Sasuke?"

"Yes, but not only him… you"

"He looked at me, then to the sky.

"Naruto…" I said looking straight at him. He seemed so calm. I was starting to tremble.

"Sakura… forget about Sasuke…" Naruto said, still staring at the sky. "He is a traitor… of you, me and everyone in Konoha. He doesn't deserve any kind of sympathy. It's his fault… he left us alone."

"Naruto! How could you!? He was and still is your friend." I said. The anger building inside me, I almost wanted to slap him. "How come you don't believe in him anymore? He can still come back to us… He is my friend… at least he has that."

"I don't care how many times he saved my butt in battle… he is a traitor" Naruto said standing up. He looked down at me. "Sakura… I know my place I think its time you learned yours." He said walking away.

"Wait!" I get up and run to him. He turns around.

"What?" He said.

I was so angry at this point that I just let out my anger and punched him. He stumbled to the ground.

"Naruto!" I yelled getting closer for another blow to the face.

"SAKURA!" I heard Sensei yell from behind. I turned back. Naruto's shirt in one hand and my fist balled up ready to go is the other. I must have lost my mind beating the crap out of Naruto because he had a bloody nose and his arm was twisted backwards.

"Don't hurt him anymore Sakura… what ever he did. I think he got what was coming." Sensei said. Sensei grabbed Naruto's shirt from my hand. He punched Naruto in the stomach. Naruto threw up blood.

"What is with you two?!" Naruto screamed.

"Oh, I was following her lead" Sensei said pointing to me.

"The power of Belief should help you next time I beat the crap out of you…" I said walking away. And as I walked away there was a steady stream of rain falling from the sky. The sky… yes I believe it began to rain.

Comments:

From: Gloria Yuen

The Sky

We stood in front of sensei, he looked down at us. "You are an amazing team!" He patted me and Naruto on the head, for us to calm down. I looked up to the sky, wondering what would happen next.

"Sensei…" I said in a low tone.

"Yes? What's wrong?" He said, as he looked at me.

Still staring at the sky I said, "What will happen now? Tsunande-sama said this was the last mission as a team… now that it's over, now what?"

"Well, I'll be Hokage soon!" Naruto said. He stuck his head up and stared at the sky, almost taking the same position as me.

"You'll, I mean we'll all be okay." Sensei replied with a smile.

"No, it won't." My tears started to well up.

"Sensei, may I talk to Sakura? Alone?" Naruto said walking over to me. Once he reached me, he touched me on the arm.

"Uh, sure…" He said with a swift move of his head… shifting between me and Naruto. He ran off. = = do u meen he "poofed" off? or...er...KAKASHI RUNS?!!

"Now…" Naruto said. He begins to lie down on the ground. Once he did, he pointed to a piece of the ground next to him. He said "Lie down… let's talk." try "pointed to a spot next to him" instead of "peice of ground"...it would b less awkward :)

"It's okay, tell me what's really wrong."

I started to cry, remembering the countless missions as team 7, the full team 7. Sasuke and all. I squeezed Naruto's hand. Not realizing I was hurting him.

"Ow…" He said.

"Sorry…" I loosened my grip. Seconds seemed like hours. Naruto soon got fed up of waiting for me to respond and guessed. hmmm...i really like this part :) (above).

"Is it… Sasuke?"

"Yes, but not only him… you"

"He looked at me, then to the sky. no quote mark. im sure it was a typo :)

"Naruto…" I said looking straight at him. He seemed so calm. I was starting to tremble. try "i started to tremble"

"Wait!" I get up and run to him. He turns around.

"What?" He said.

I was so angry at this point that I just let out my anger and punched him. He stumbled to the ground.

"Naruto!" I yelled getting closer for another blow to the face.

"Don't hurt him anymore Sakura… what ever he did. I think he got what was coming." Sensei said. Sensei grabbed Naruto's shirt from my hand. He punched Naruto in the stomach. Naruto threw up blood. uh. not very sensei. plus, i think kakashi was actually neutral about the whole thing...he told them to decide for themselves wat to do.

"What is with you two?!" Naruto screamed. heh. nice reaction naruto.

"Oh, I was following her lead" Sensei said pointing to me. aha. so kakashi...er...kinda. XD

**COMMENTS**

i like the idea and the fic so far, but idk...i thnk naruto was actually on the side of sasuke...wait...did u read the chps about the meeting wit naruto and sakura? how she says "i love you" but sai tells naruto she was saying that to distract him from her true motive....to kill sasuke herself. sakura would most likely lie and keep quiet about fighting sasuke at this point, and naruto wouldnt be mournful. hes still searching for sasuke, and now they want him to give up? he would be like NO WAY. his pride is too strong. and kakashi sensei. LOL OMG. i like how u made him so random, but if its a serious type fic, kakashi would most likely poof away and leave them alone. if he coms bak at the end, he mite just say a coupla lines, but not do anyting. :O OTHRWISE (SRRY FOR THE FREAKING LONG PARAGRAPH) I REALLY LIKE THE FIC :D and the people (in som parts) are in character too :) AWESOM JOB :D *thumbs up* (aka. good guy pose)

-GLO

Comment # 2:

From: Doreen Mcneill

The Sky

Wtf? What's with your indenting?

We stood in front of sensei, and he looked down at us. "You are an amazing team!" He patted Naruto and I on the head, to calm us down. I looked up to the sky, wondering what would happen next.

"Sensei…" I said in a low tone. (hmm…I would use Kakashi-sensei)

"Yes? What's wrong?" He asked, looking (insert adjective here) at me.

Still staring at the sky I said, "What will happen now? Tsunande-sama said this was the last mission as a team… now that it's over, now what?"

"Well, I'll be Hokage soon!" Naruto proclaimed. He stuck his head up and stared at the sky, almost taking the same position as me. (what position? Describe in above paragraphs perhaps?)

"You'll— I mean we'll all be okay." Sensei replied with a smile.

"No, it won't." My tears started to well up.

"Sensei, may I talk to Sakura-chan? Alone?" Naruto said walking over to me. Once he reached me, he touched me gently (optional) on the arm.

"Uh, sure…" Kakashi-sensei said with a swift move of his head… shifting between Naruto and me. He ran off. (wouldn't Kakashi poof or something?)

"Now…" Naruto began. He began to lie down on the ground. Once he did, he pointed to the ground next to him. He said, "Lie down… let's talk."

I laid down next him. When I my head hit the ground it made a squishy sound. (*sweatdrop* squishy sound? Did it like rain or something?) Naruto laughed. I lied there cold and feeling like everything would go back to the way they were… before I met my team. Naruto kept looking at the sky but I could tell, he knew and saw what was wrong with me. He held my hand.

"It's okay, tell me what's really wrong."

I started to cry, remembering the countless missions as team 7, the full team 7; Sasuke and all. (I would rephrase that sentence.) I squeezed Naruto's hand. Not realizing I was hurting him.

"Ow…" He grunted.

"Sorry…" I loosened my grip. Seconds seemed like hours. Naruto soon got fed up of waiting for me to respond and guessed.

"Is it… Sasuke?"

"Yes, but not only him… you."

He looked at me, then to the sky.

"Naruto…" I said looking straight at him. He seemed so calm. I was starting to tremble.

"Naruto! How could you!? He was and still is your friend." I said, anger building inside me. I almost wanted to slap him. "How come you don't believe in him anymore? He can still come back to us… He is my friend… at least he has that."

"I don't care how many times he saved my butt in battle… he is a traitor," Naruto said standing up. He looked down at me. "Sakura… I know my place I think its time you learned yours." He said walking away. (OOCness)

"Wait!" I got up and ran to him. He turned.

"What?" He said.

I was so angry at this point that I just let out my anger and punched him. (I recommend rephrasing that last sentence) He stumbled to the ground.

"Naruto!" I yelled, getting closer for another blow to the face.

"SAKURA!" I heard Kakashi-sensei yell from behind. I turned back. Naruto's shirt in one hand and the other balled up ready to strike. I must have lost my mind beating the crap out of Naruto because he had a bloody nose and his arm was twisted backwards.

"Don't hurt him anymore Sakura… what ever he did. I think he got what was coming." Sensei said. Sensei grabbed Naruto's shirt from my hand. He punched Naruto in the stomach. Naruto threw up blood.

"What is with you two?!" Naruto screamed.

"Oh, I was following her lead" Sensei said pointing to me. (haha lol)

"The power of Belief should help you next time I beat the crap out of you…" I said walking away. I'd use something other than 'beat the crap out of you') As I walked away there was a steady stream of rain falling from the sky. The sky… yes I believe it began to rain. (pointing out the obvious there aren't you?)

Hmmm I thought it was pretty good. The focus was a little off though. Unless this is drabble, which I'm sure it isn't, I think there needs to be a plot point. Sakura was very in character :D If your story is called 'The Sky' put more emphasis on it. It'll make it more powerful. For example in between, as the character gaze at the sky, use personification or describe what they see and what that makes them think of. For example, Sakura may see the clouds as reminders of the days when Team Seven was together like a certain scene or something like that. Naruto might see the scenes of when he use to bicker with or even fight Sasuke. I would recommend even going into Kakasji's character more. Maybe use the clouds to remind him of something like when his team was together and compares it to team Seven, or even think about his dad.